Men Not Wanting to Marry: A Modern Problem

Updated on July 11, 2017
Men not wanting to marry. Wedded bliss is a little harder to come by these days.
Men not wanting to marry. Wedded bliss is a little harder to come by these days.

Men not wanting to marry is a growing concern for women of all races in the United States. For example, up to 55% of black women never marry along with 25% of white women. There have been numerous studies done as to why these figures have been rising since 1982, when these figures were 30% black women never marrying and 10% white women also never tying the knot.

Let's take a look at some societal reasons marriage has been on the decline -- for all races. And what women on the whole can do to bring their marriage rates back up. The tips in this article are going to sound sexist to some, but you must remember that for men to desire marriage, there have to be old-fashioned practices in place that will make them feel that there is a benefit to them in tying the knot.

Men are less interested in marriage than ever before. Why?

  • Sex without commitment is getting to be the norm. This is one reason people used to marry young. In the days before free love, it was considered healthy to be in a monogamous relationship where a couple would get sexual relief safely and regularly. In addition, the woman received the security of commitment. But these days, most women feel sexual freedom is a good thing and exercise their rights.

  • Women are less feminine than ever before. Men naturally want to wear the pants in a relationship, but feminism has taught women that fighting for their rights in a marriage and getting their way all the time is the way it's supposed to be. Men feel that getting involved in committed relationships and marriage equals stress rather than love and a balance of masculine and feminine.

  • Automation has eased traditional wifely tasks so that men can do them without help. TV dinners, takeout, and restaurant meals have replaced a great majority of the kitchen cooking from scratch women used to do at home as housewives. In addition, washers and dryers let anyone clean and dry their clothes with ease.

  • With a 50% chance of divorce, men can get screwed for life with paying alimony, which can take them to the poorhouse. Men often see the statistics and simply shun the idea of ever getting married.

What can women do to reverse the trend of men not wanting to marry?

  • Women need to shun pre-marital sex. For this to work, women collectively have to decide against it. Men by nature will have sex as soon as a woman allows it, but not knowing a man's intentions towards you can lead you down a bad road once intimacy has started. You might find it difficult to decipher who is genuinely interested in you versus only physically interested in you. Only allow men with good intentions into your life -- men who will stick around and want all of you.

  • Women should embrace feminine behavior once again. This means no yelling or cursing just for the heck of it, especially not in public. This means crossing your legs, wearing skirts, smiling, flirting to get your way, being polite, and using your feminine charms to your advantage. Doesn't that sound so much easier than having to argue and fight your way through a relationship? It is.

    Men are much more willing to embrace commitment if they know they are dealing with a feminine woman and not just a man in a dress. This will help them take the plunge much more easily because an agreeable woman is much less likely to get divorced than a woman always at war with her husband.

  • Women should take up cooking again. Although automation has it so that men can eat conveniently made frozen and take-out meals, fast-food cannot hold a candle to a home-made meal, especially one cooked with love.

Gratitude and Grace Brings Out the Hero

Most men have the capacity of heroism in them -- a trait that not only helps the ones they save, but provides the men themselves with boosts of vigor and self-assuredness. There have been times I've needed help that men who didn't know me or only knew me casually went the extra mile to help me. And although women go through their share of hurt and heartbreak, remembering the good side of men garners an appreciation that keeps the cycle of goodwill with them going.

Even if you do not consider yourself to be a feminine woman, simply applying kindness to your relationship will bring goodwill back ten-fold from a man. You might look at a woman who appears to be a plain-Jane and wonder why she has a solid marriage but perhaps the traditionally beautiful woman does not yet have a husband.

Although many men will fall all over a beautiful woman and she will seem to have a lot of suitors, because she's used to getting what she wants men might not stick around because she's often high-maintenance. But the plain girl often has another tool: she's easy to get along with. She'll understand her boyfriend wants to go out to places on dates that he enjoys as well, not it just being about her wants all the time. She knows her husband needs to go into a man cave and enjoy some time alone before coming back to her. She knows his favorite foods and cooks them when he's had a hard day. She says thank you when he's helped her. Simple, easy things.

When a good man knows he has a woman in his life that is graceful and grateful for him, he will return the favor and be the hero his woman really wants him to be. When a man knows he is wanted and has a place to rest his weary soul after battling and surviving each day, he will stick with the woman that provides him this comfort. And most importantly, always keep the intimacy and passion alive between you.

When more men are able to experience this kind of relationship, the marriage count will no longer decline.

Men not wanting to marry is simply a symptom of the fact that the roles of men and women have gone askew and need help to get back into place. If women on the whole take the above steps, the trend towards marriage will be on an upswing again.

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