How to Be an Alpha Male: Typical Characteristics, Personality Traits, and Behaviors

Updated on December 26, 2019
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Learn the characteristics and traits that are exhibited by true alpha males, and you too can be the leader of your pack.
Learn the characteristics and traits that are exhibited by true alpha males, and you too can be the leader of your pack. | Source

18 Characteristics and Traits of an Alpha Male

How does one become an alpha male? It's a question many men out there ask all the time. In this article, I will show you the characteristics and personality traits of an alpha male. Peak into his world and understand how he behaves and acts in typical situations with friends at school and college, mates at work, and the woman in his life. Adopt these qualities into your own everyday life and learn how to become an alpha male. Here are 18 personality traits that alpha males possess.

Media and popular culture have portrayed the image of an alpha male as the guy who is hunky, gets hot dates, and has the body of a greek god. In real life it takes much more than that to be an alpha male.
Media and popular culture have portrayed the image of an alpha male as the guy who is hunky, gets hot dates, and has the body of a greek god. In real life it takes much more than that to be an alpha male. | Source

1. Alpha males are not aggressive: Don't be a jerk

Unlike the popularly perceived image of an alpha male, he is not aggressive at all. He is the kind of person who will sit back and watch everyone do their thing. But make no mistake, an alpha male will stand up and fight for his rights and for the rights of his friends.

Don't use aggression to have a dominating effect over everyone around you because that is just going to make you look like a jerk. If you want to behave like an alpha male, you will need to put arrogance aside and embrace maturity. Control your anger and deal with every situation tactfully to work it to your advantage.

2. They are leaders: Don't wait to be led

There is a reason why alpha males are called leaders of the pack. An alpha male generally assumes the leadership and does not wait to be crowned as one. He becomes the leader simply because there is no one else to match up to his capacity.

It would be impractical to teach someone to become a leader overnight. But you can take the first steps towards learning leadership by putting yourself in the shoes of a follower and asking yourself "What would a leader's image be in the minds of a follower?" In this situation, the leader can be a sports team captain, a boss in the office, or a manager at a store.

Observe leaders in your everyday life and pinpoint the personality traits that separate them from others.

3. Alpha males speak less but pack a punch when they do: Develop solid communication skills

Restraint, relevance, speed, emphasis, clarity, and pitch, these are some important elements of communication that alpha males are likely to be masters of. They are not exactly great speakers, but they won't be afraid of speaking in public if required.

While communication is an art that needs to be continuously honed, you can start by polishing off some basic traits. Speak loudly and firmly, opine confidently, avoid long pauses like umm or erm, look into the eye of the person you are talking to, stand straight when you talk and allow your body language to speak more than your mouth.

Alpha males have a towering presence everywhere they go and they make themselves subtly overpowering by displaying key body language traits.
Alpha males have a towering presence everywhere they go and they make themselves subtly overpowering by displaying key body language traits.

4. Alpha males have a towering presence: Be charismatic

Alpha male personalities are likely to create a stir in a room by their mere presence or entry. Whether it is because of impeccable dress, a firm handshake, or effortless body language, alpha males tend to naturally command respect and attention.

Adopting this alpha male trait is difficult. Not everyone has the personality and charisma to wow everyone. You can start by not looking down when you walk into a room and zeroing in your eyes to one particular person as opposed to nervously looking everywhere. Keep a straight back and act as if you mean business.

5. They are decision-makers: Groom the habit of making good decisions

Whether it is at the workplace, at home, in social circles, or in bed, alpha males don't like waiting for instructions or intimation from anyone. They look around, judge the situation, and make a decision on what is required to be done.

To be an alpha male, you have to start believing in yourself and cultivate the confidence of doing things your way and taking responsibility for your actions. Alpha males don't shy away from making tough decisions just because they are afraid of failure.

6. Alpha males are not overly expressive all the time: Carry a straight face

Facially and emotionally, alpha males are not known to be very expressive. Frowning, smiling from ear to ear, chuckling, squinting, laughing, or tensing the temples are the type of expressions that alpha males would not usually wear on their faces in everyday life.

Alpha males generally remain stoic and unflappable in all types of situations. The key to adopting this alpha male trait is to look nonchalant, not be nonchalant. Carry a calm and serene expression on your face and don't be overly bubbly or expressive while talking to someone.

7. They look out for their comrades: Be a problem solver

A great quality of alpha males is that they look out for their herd. Whether it is a friend in need, a girl in distress, or a relative who wants help, an alpha male displays the capacity to solve every problem. They look after their comrades and give everyone around them a sense that they are in safe hands all the time.

Being an alpha male involves being a figure who can be protective and someone who carries a problem-solving mentality all the time. Be ready to help your friends, and don't run away when someone comes to you with a problem. Help them get through it and earn their respect.

8. They command respect: Don't demand respect

Whether it is out of sheer appreciation or out of fear, people generally respect the alpha male of their pack. A typical alpha male never needs to go out begging or asking for everyone else to respect him.

As a generic tip to gain the respect of your friends, family, or colleagues, be good at what you do and, more importantly, be successful. It is human nature to respect people who are successful regardless of whether it is competing in a sport, getting a promotion, or being able to get a date with the most beautiful girl in class.

As everyone around you notices that you are successful in your own right, they will have newfound respect towards you.

9. Alpha males never panic: Stop giving knee jerk reactions

One of the most characteristic traits of alpha males is that they can act calm and composed even if they are neck-deep in crisis. Alpha males choose their words wisely when they react because they are constantly thinking about the repercussions of what they say.

To be an alpha male, you will need to avoid yelling, giving unnecessary exclamations, or letting your anger rule your actions. Stop panicking at the slightest of troubles and conquer your mind to be in a Zen-like state of mind, just like that of an alpha male.

Whether it is dating beautiful woman or getting a promotion at work, alpha males are focused and know what they want. They will also do all it takes to get it.
Whether it is dating beautiful woman or getting a promotion at work, alpha males are focused and know what they want. They will also do all it takes to get it. | Source

10. Alpha males know what they want, and get it: Be focused

Whether it is something as personal as deciding whether to kiss a girl or something as professional as demanding a pay rise, alpha males have a clear idea of what they desire. They top this desire off by doing everything it takes to get it.

Practice this trait by attaching an end result to all the things that affect your daily life. Before you express your desire for something or someone, think about the end result. Once you are sure that you want it, go all guns blazing to get it. Halfhearted efforts are not allowed.

11. They know how to say no: Don't be too nice to everyone

Why do people give in to do things that they hate doing? That is because they tend to place themselves in someone else's shoes and think about how they would feel. Alpha males wouldn't think like that and are not likely to do the things they are not comfortable doing.

If you are in a situation where you want to say no, manipulate your stance by being polite. The trick is to avoid following up your refusal with an excuse or an explanation because that is not what alpha males do. Master the art of saying no, not the art of apologizing.

12. Alpha males don't keep asking for help unless necessary: Do it yourself

You may never find a man with the personality traits of an alpha male asking around for help unless absolutely necessary. Alpha males like resolving their difficulties themselves. They ask for help only when circumstances are dire.

Whether it is school, college, or work, choose the questions you really need to ask and strategically choose the people who you want to put those questions to. Don't keep nagging or bombarding your classmate or workmate with one trivial question after another.

13. Alpha males know the art of romance: Be a true gentleman with your girl

Whether it is opening doors for your date, arriving for a romantic outing with a bunch of flowers, knowing how to kiss a girl, or simply knowing how to turn a woman on, alpha males are true romantics, or at least they show themselves as being one.

To be like an alpha male, you will need to let go of all your inhibitions when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex. Practice all the traditionally known tricks of being a romantic gentleman regardless of whether you are a teenager or someone in their 20s, 30s, 40s, or older.

Bring flowers for your date, open doors for her, treat her like a princess, and do all it takes to make her feel like the queen of the moment.

14. They don't need approval: Don't keep asking everyone for their opinion

If you were shopping with a friend and just tried on a shirt, would you ask "Isn't this a great shirt?" or "Great shirt, don't you think?" There is a world of difference in the impact that both these lines can make if said in the right way.

An alpha male is likely to choose the second option and say it in a way that oozes confidence, leaving the listener no choice but to approve.

To put this trait into practice, think before you blurt out a question or a sentence asking for approval. If a yes or a no is not going to make a lot of difference, don't ask. Things of trivial nature are best not sought approval for.

15. Alpha males wear normal clothes that accentuate masculinity: Don't make odd fashion choices

The trick to dressing like an alpha male is not to look overtly muscular and tough but to look masculine and taut. Alpha males can carry off their attire with confidence and appear extremely comfortable in their skin.

Groom yourself well and avoid donning fashion at the cost of comfort. Pick outfits that highlight the bulk of your shoulders and torso. Stay away from extremes—too many pastel shades and weird fashion choices are best avoided.

Alpha males can be popular, but they are not social butterflies. Rather, they are the social glue that holds a group together.
Alpha males can be popular, but they are not social butterflies. Rather, they are the social glue that holds a group together. | Source

16. Alpha males are not typically social butterflies: Be passively social

Can you imagine an alpha male muttering, giggling, and yapping away in a social situation? Most likely not. Alpha males are not known to be the social butterflies but are often the social glue of their pack.

To adopt this alpha male behavior, don't let yourself become overly chatty and giggly in a social situation. Pick your close friends and be passively social by being the bond that holds everyone in your group together. Allow everyone to come to you, and not the other way around.

17. They can make people laugh: Develop a sense of humor

By rule of thumb, alpha males do not make flippant, petty, or poorly humored jokes to amuse people or gain attention. Nor are they likely to giggle like a child when they crack a joke.

Alpha males combine their sense of humor and their ability to deliver a punch when they talk to use humor in challenging situations.

Putting this into perspective, be confident as you attempt to say something funny. Don't give away your intentions with a grin or a smile. Disconnect your body language from the joke while you utter it and don't look at everyone expecting a comical reaction. Act nonchalant and continue doing whatever you are doing as you say it.

18. Alpha males are strong: Exercise your way to being fit

You don't expect an alpha male to be unhealthy, nor do you expect him to be unfit. Not everyone can have a body like Brad Pitt in Troy, but the key to pulling off the physical aspect of becoming an alpha male is to be fit.

Find the motivation to build your body by working out. The answer does not lie in having a massive frame like Schwarzenegger or Coleman, but to have a fit body, worthy of grabbing attention.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2012 princesswithapen


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    • profile image


      4 weeks ago

      nice but not well expressed to me

    • profile image


      8 months ago

      Obviously Written by a women :D

    • profile image


      10 months ago

      Worst load of bollocks I’ve ever heard. Mind numbing bs.

    • profile image


      2 years ago

      Thanks a lot for sharing all that knowledge with us. It means a lot to me. From now om I will be in control of my life. :o)

    • profile image 

      7 years ago

      Never heard of this PWAP - I'm being myself REAL- what does that make me am curious to know?

    • Eiddwen profile image


      7 years ago from Wales

      Interesting and clever .

      Thank you so much for sharing and enjoy your weekend.



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