50 Things Real Men Don't Do
The day started out as a glorious sunshine-filled Sunday. My family and I were at the neighborhood softball game watching our team lose again.
Nearby I heard one ballplayer say, "Real men don't hit a ball like a girl. Maybe if some players learned how to batter up we just might win a game." As he then knelt down to pet his precious pup that happened to be wearing a pink studded collar. The pup nodded in agreement. Really?
This piqued my interest. I thought what else "Don't Real Men Do?" I wondered if I could come up with a lengthy list.
So I thought I would ask the spectators. At first they thought that maybe I should sit in the shade since the 93* temperatures might be affecting me. Yet, they were more than pleased to participate. I also found friends and family members who were more than happy to oblige with their witty responses.
This article in no way is meant to ridicule men. Men are awesome! They are just easy to poke fun at. In my opinion they are more capable of laughing at themselves than women are.
These comments are based on opinions. I don't agree with all of them. Just some.
Feel free to have your voice heard in the comment section. We will all be interested in your points of view. I'll be sure and share this article with the ballplayer and his darling dog.
Real Men Don't...
- Start drama, they avoid it. They also prefer not to hear about it.
- Wear earrings in both ears.
- Order drinks that come with paper umbrellas, unless the drink is free.
- Say NO to their wives. Ever. Or have an escape route.
- Shave their legs, backs, chests or arms. Heads are fine.
- Talk down to people, they talk to them.
- Hinder their emotions. Crying is A-OK to a real man.
- Dye their hair, they rock their gray strands.
- Wear pinkie rings.
- Wear nail polish, including clear coats. Buffing is acceptable.
- Wear pink unless it's a ribbon for Breast Cancer Awareness.
- Neglect their yearly physicals and PSA tests because real men don't go to the doctors.
- Walk behind their significant other, they walk beside them.
- Sexually, mentally or physically abuse women or children.
- Listen to Coldplay or Maroon 5.
- Sing along to Justin Bieber.
- Wear eyeliner, mascara or lip-gloss.
- Lie to their significant other, because they are smart enough to know that they will get busted.
- Cheat on their significant other, because they are smart enough to know that they will get busted.
- Carry purses. Totes are allowed.
- Ask for directions, they prefer to get lost, waste fuel and swear.
- Use LOL or LMAO or ROFLMAO.
- Go to the potty, they go to the john, head, Men's Room or washroom.
- Wear skirts, unless it's a kilt and never, ever go commando.
- Get facials, pedicures, manicures or skin peels.
More things real men don't do...
26. Sit cross-legged unless you really "have to go!"
27. Bathe in colonge, a little goes a long way. Trust us on this!
28. Have hands that are soft as a baby's bottom.
29. Scratch themselves in public, they should save that for the comfort of their sofa.
30. Wear high-waisted jeans. This applies to everyone.
31. Whine or complain. They just do or don't do. There is no try. -Yoda
32. Gossip like a woman or about women.
33. Speak with food in their mouth or while they are chewing. They also don't blow their nose at the dinner table.
34. Drink until they vomit.
35. Watch Chick Flicks unless they are promised "something" in return.
36. Have to prove themselves. "Be true to you!"
37. Eat quiche.
38. Pay for "it" unless that's the only way they could get "it."
39. Wear Speedos unless they are in a swimming competition or from Europe.
40. Zumba or wear a leotard.
41. Watch Soap Operas unless they are required to by their significant other.
42. Make bodily sounds in public, no matter which hole it's coming from.
43. Wear ponytails that look like a horses tail.
44. Use a pair of socks anywhere else except on their feet.
45. Ask, "What's for dinner?" they cook dinner and do the dishes.
46. Expect things to miraculously happen, they make things happen.
47. Leave their toenail clippings scattered about the floor, since they could become weapons of mass destruction.
48. Participate in life threatening behavior unless they have significant life insurance.
49. Break up with a partner via text, email, twitter or any other social network site. Face to face is the only way for complete closure.
50. Need a list to tell them that they are a real man!
Keith Urban - Stupid Boy
To the real men...
Disclaimer: "Be true to you." Never try to change yourself to please others.
You are who you are and whoever doesn't like it could look the other way. You don't need someone's approval to be the unique person you are.
Are you a man with similar traits listed above?
© 2012 Linda Bilyeu