50 Things Real Men Don't Do
The day started out as a glorious sunshine-filled Sunday. My family and I were at the neighborhood softball game watching our team lose again.
Nearby I heard one ballplayer say, "Real men don't hit a ball like a girl. Maybe if some players learned how to batter up we just might win a game." As he then knelt down to pet his precious pup that happened to be wearing a pink studded collar. The pup nodded in agreement. Really?
This piqued my interest. I thought what else "Don't Real Men Do?" I wondered if I could come up with a lengthy list.
So I thought I would ask the spectators. At first they thought that maybe I should sit in the shade since the 93* temperatures might be affecting me. Yet, they were more than pleased to participate. I also found friends and family members who were more than happy to oblige with their witty responses.
This article in no way is meant to ridicule men. Men are awesome! They are just easy to poke fun at. In my opinion they are more capable of laughing at themselves than women are.
These comments are based on opinions. I don't agree with all of them. Just some.
Feel free to have your voice heard in the comment section. We will all be interested in your points of view. I'll be sure and share this article with the ballplayer and his darling dog.
Real Men Don't...
- Start drama, they avoid it. They also prefer not to hear about it.
- Wear earrings in both ears.
- Order drinks that come with paper umbrellas, unless the drink is free.
- Say NO to their wives. Ever. Or have an escape route.
- Shave their legs, backs, chests or arms. Heads are fine.
- Talk down to people, they talk to them.
- Hinder their emotions. Crying is A-OK to a real man.
- Dye their hair, they rock their gray strands.
- Wear pinkie rings.
- Wear nail polish, including clear coats. Buffing is acceptable.
- Wear pink unless it's a ribbon for Breast Cancer Awareness.
- Neglect their yearly physicals and PSA tests because real men don't go to the doctors.
- Walk behind their significant other, they walk beside them.
- Sexually, mentally or physically abuse women or children.
- Listen to Coldplay or Maroon 5.
- Sing along to Justin Bieber.
- Wear eyeliner, mascara or lip-gloss.
- Lie to their significant other, because they are smart enough to know that they will get busted.
- Cheat on their significant other, because they are smart enough to know that they will get busted.
- Carry purses. Totes are allowed.
- Ask for directions, they prefer to get lost, waste fuel and swear.
- Use LOL or LMAO or ROFLMAO.
- Go to the potty, they go to the john, head, Men's Room or washroom.
- Wear skirts, unless it's a kilt and never, ever go commando.
- Get facials, pedicures, manicures or skin peels.
More things real men don't do...
26. Sit cross-legged unless you really "have to go!"
27. Bathe in colonge, a little goes a long way. Trust us on this!
28. Have hands that are soft as a baby's bottom.
29. Scratch themselves in public, they should save that for the comfort of their sofa.
30. Wear high-waisted jeans. This applies to everyone.
31. Whine or complain. They just do or don't do. There is no try. -Yoda
32. Gossip like a woman or about women.
33. Speak with food in their mouth or while they are chewing. They also don't blow their nose at the dinner table.
34. Drink until they vomit.
35. Watch Chick Flicks unless they are promised "something" in return.
36. Have to prove themselves. "Be true to you!"
37. Eat quiche.
38. Pay for "it" unless that's the only way they could get "it."
39. Wear Speedos unless they are in a swimming competition or from Europe.
40. Zumba or wear a leotard.
41. Watch Soap Operas unless they are required to by their significant other.
42. Make bodily sounds in public, no matter which hole it's coming from.
43. Wear ponytails that look like a horses tail.
44. Use a pair of socks anywhere else except on their feet.
45. Ask, "What's for dinner?" they cook dinner and do the dishes.
46. Expect things to miraculously happen, they make things happen.
47. Leave their toenail clippings scattered about the floor, since they could become weapons of mass destruction.
48. Participate in life threatening behavior unless they have significant life insurance.
49. Break up with a partner via text, email, twitter or any other social network site. Face to face is the only way for complete closure.
50. Need a list to tell them that they are a real man!
Keith Urban - Stupid Boy
To the real men...
Disclaimer: "Be true to you." Never try to change yourself to please others.
You are who you are and whoever doesn't like it could look the other way. You don't need someone's approval to be the unique person you are.
Are you a man with similar traits listed above?
© 2012 Linda Bilyeu
Comments
Oh my goodness--I so agree! With many, but #13 stands out to me because I was on a date recently where the guy walked behind me THE ENTIRE TIME, through some very crowded areas. I was sooooo irritated! I never knew where he was, and I had to be the one clearing the path. LAME. (Voted up and funny!)
Hi, SJ, so what do you think of # 2?
Would you not go on a date merely because he wore an earring?
Interesting list, anyway.
Now! I think I do not need a list... but I came your to know the woman perspective you know :)
Nice one!
Interesting Hub, thank you for sharing it.
f, you're crazy. :-) I have no problems with men wearing earrings--as long as they're not bigger than mine!
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I totally agree SJ. Rumor is when guys are walking behind a woman it's because they are usually looking "around" or just lazier. On the brighter side we get to look "around" too from the front of the line. Haha!
Quite a variety of no-nos there...:)
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Way to go Rahul!! Bravo to you!!:)
Thank you for stopping by jainismus.
And to f, there is absolutely nothing wrong with an earring:)
(Oops, I meant, this is for S625)
SJmorningsun: Okay! I can just imagine you sharing your earrings with husband your husband to be (your small pairs, that is, not you big hoops.)
It's quite an eclectic list in the hub, isn't it. :)
Sunshine,
I'm doubling over with laughter!!!
Sorry...I can't write any more now.
Great list, as always.
Ahh the Queen of Lists rides again! Seems fifty is your magic number and with those fifty you never fail to hit someone's nail on the head. this one is great and covers a lot of ground. Your closing statement "You don't need someone's approval to be the unique person you are.?" should be a banner for everyone!
Voted up, interesting, and useful.
I used to wear earrings when I was a teenager.
I have shaved my legs couple of times.
I have dyed my hair.
I wore pink shirts.
The lists seems to be going long.
However, I was brought in a culture that says men don't cry like women.
As always you made me smile. Good work Sunshine.
Vinaya Ghimire:
Oh don't worry about your earrings; lots of men wear them. I guess this list is really a 'something for everyone' sort of exercise, really.
Great list. Brings up thoughts of a lot of guys I know. In good and bad ways!
So glad to see #9. I have an odd aversion to guys that wear pinky rings! :)
Hi Sunshine! No earrings or pink for me. And I do avoid drama by not starting it. I have to work on going to the doctor for the physicals and I prefer "ha ha ha" to "lol" but I do use it sometimes.
For a very long time I was a fan of "All My Children," a great soap opera!
And I am sure some will disagree, but many men are very big gossips and it is too bad that they aren't "man" enough to admit it!
This is really great! Voted up!!
Wow! I'm a 'go' for all 50. Amazing.
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Hi f, I'm glad you like the list! Thanks for stopping by!
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Daisy, Yay for laughter! I can't help but wonder about retaliation! That would be hilarious!:)
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Hi Mary, 50 does seem to like me. I'm going to have to shake things up a bit the next time around. I like to keep you on your toes!:)
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Kudos to you Vinaya! Be true to you!!! Real men do cry and it's totally acceptable. The pink shorts are not!:))
F is correct this list is a little bit of everything for everyone.
Thanks!
Ok now coming from a real man, LOL, you forgot to add us real men never read the instructions when we assemble something.
I like to chime in on the man walking behind the woman thing. First and foremost at all times a real man will walk side-by-side with his woman holding hands when appropriate. Now in situations such as leaving the restaurant, is appropriate for the man to walk behind the woman. When I do so I am at least have my hand on her so she knows I'm behind her or him holding her hands. In these situations is easier for me to scope a look around to avoid danger and keep her safe. If the woman is walking behind me and I am looking around she's out of my view and something could happen to our at which point I would be reacting and not proactive. I would much rather be proactive of problem before it happens. I can't speak for everybody but that's why I do it when I do it.
Otherwise another great list from Sunshine, up an awesome
"Real Men" are nothing more than male type people :)
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Dana, when I see a pinky ring I think thoughts that are out of the ordinary. I'm not judging anyone who wears one, I just think it's unique:)
Dex, I am all for the LOL...you keep on rocking it! All My Children was a great soap. I stopped watching it years ago, but I still see Kelly Ripa everyday on her talk show!
Thanks for your comments!:)
45 out of 50; that's much better than any college test I took. I think I was taking the wrong classes. Entertaining and quite funny.
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Jed Fisher! Way to go!!! I think!:)
Voted up, funny and interesting. I just heard a joke today about a coworker asking another man why he was wearing an earring? He went on saying, "I didn't know you were into earrings...how long have you been wearing one?" The man replied, "Ever since my wife found one in my truck." Also, regarding #13, I was always taught that the man walks on the outside of the woman with him walking closest to the street.
Actually page, when the man walks side-by-side with the woman, man always places himself closer to the danger. In your example he would closer to the street, if you are walking in the zoo, you would walk between the woman and animals. And so on and so on
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Good point AV about the instructions. I never read them either! Haha! Regarding the men behind the women, I understand your point of view...that was my comment regarding the "studs" who walk behind as they check out other women. Women aren't dumb, they know what's going on. Payback! Hahaha!!
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Hi pagesvoice! Thank you for sharing the FUNNY JOKE!!! I appreciate the added humor!:)
I guess that years ago some ppl would have complained about men with earrings, just as, again, years ago, some ppl would have complained about women's tattoos. But now of course, lots of men wear earrings and lots of women wear tattoos! (So I guess the status of such things in a list like this might be called into question ... :) )
Sunshine,
It's true that those who think they are" studs" do walk behind is to check out the other women. However real men who are looking around aren't checking anyone out, there looking out to protect their woman.
I agree with everything on the list especially numbers 5, 10, 19, 25 and 32. Voted up and funny.
What a great list! My hubby would definitely not sing to Justin's songs or wear a skirt - no matter what. Enjoyed the humor in your hub and it was so fun to read.
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Going back to Dex's comment...I seriously don't know many men who gossip, but you are right they do exist! Good job for calling them out!:)
AV, my thoughts exactly. Being a real man you would know that!:)
Hi Angela! Thank you for sharing your thoughts!! Much appreciated!:)
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Hiya Mark and Bill...The Dynamic Duo! Thank you so mcuh for stopping by with your witty comments!! I appreciate it!:)
Thank you teaches! I'm glad you enjoyed the list! I've caught my son-in-law singing Bieber, sssshhhh don't tell him I told you!:)
Clothes nor earrings do not make a man. But if he walks behind you, he needs a leash.
I think I would make exception for quiche, it's healthy and the name only sounds strange but I think as long as you're bettering yourself it works. I'd also add that real men go to the doctor. Men neglecting their health is ridiculous, anybody neglecting their health is ridiculous. Great hub!
You're right - they definitely don't use LOL. :^D Voted funny!
What a comprehensive list, Linda. Betcha had fun putting it together. Would add one more. Real men don't monopolize the TV remote. Unless it's a championship game.
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Good one AnnDavis!! Thanks for sharing!!
Great points Alecia!! It's hip to go to the doctor!! I appreciate your comment!
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Clevercat, lol is fine, but I guess LOL isn't! Haha!!
Excellent addition drbj! Thank you for your input...always appreciated!
Sunshine.....You always give us a great LIST to look over and think about! I'm sure you can imagine some of the things that went through my twisted mind as I read this. (as usual, most of them cannot be repeated.) I'm so bad.
On a serious note, some of these seem accurate, some are a bit "off." I LOVE the part about never asking for directions! Is that not one of the most annoying mysteries in the world?
Even though my ever-over-active sense of humor could have a field day with a list like this.....How does a woman who who presented the world with 4 sons, who in turn had 7 sons.....make jokes about men without getting in trouble??
Hey Sunshine... GREAT list.... and AMEN to #4 and especially #45 and especially #47! I am going to start taking his toe nail clippings and adding them as ingredients in his dinner.. just kidding but I am tempted :P
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Hi Effer, Feel free to share in private! I understand all to well about what can't be said here! haha! Thank you!!:)
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Hi Jamie! I'm glad you found some that you could relate to! Toe nail clippings could really be used as weapons!!:)
Well, with all the working out with weights that I do, my hands are definitely NOT as soft as a baby's bottom. Unfortunately, my bottom is another story ;) Another entertaining read. Voting this Up and Funny.
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Alocsin, Tell us more about the bottom story! You tease!:) Thank you for stopping by!
I have to disagree a little bit...it might be okay for a guy to carry a purse if he takes it from his lady to be nice. I still think it's a little weird, but it is a romantic gesture!
Overall, I agree. Voted funny!
Linda, as usual your hub is interesting, fun, entertaining and true. Of course, number 50 caps it all of perfectly. Thanks for the laughs, Sunshine!
This list is perfect! When I used to do zumba, there was always one man (married, straight, had kids) who was the most fabulous dancer in the class. He loved to twirl and spin and show off. The ladies loved it but he definitely didn't fit in. :) great hub!
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Natasha, I agree. I was your referring to their "own" purse...the man purse:)
Hi Rick, You are number 50!!:)
Stoker, I've heard a few stories about men and Zumba. I give them credit for participating!:)
Loved this list - but in my house and for my 'real man' one is missing:
Real men NEVER hand over the remote....and don't I know it :o(
Sunshine, I love this list and where are all these men? The list was fun to read and some of the comments are also entertaining. Awesome and funny hub.
Ummmm, isn't your disclaimer redundant? Listing a variety that some would embrace, claiming 'real men don't', then saying 'be true to you, never change'
Did I misunderstand? Is this somewhat supposed to be humor? Because I have to disagree with the list. It's not for us to judge and tell someone if they're a real man or not. I CERTAINLY wouldn't want anyone telling me I'm not a real woman because I cut my hair short, work on the car, chop wood and am tough as nails.
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It's not "supposed" to be humor Falcon, it is humor. It all depends on the readers sense of humor and how they perceive the humor. Over 1,000 readers get it. The ballplayer and his darling doggy intend to frame it.
Thanks for stopping by:)
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Hi Jools, I do notice a trend with the remote. I just hand it over, even though my husband and I watch the same shows. It's less hassle:)
Hi Pamela, Most of them are a figment of our imagination. Luckily!!
Thank you both for sharing your thoughts!
The remote thing- yeah just hand it over, I love my husband but not his tv shows- I go in another room- lol- funny and entertaining!
what a cool hub! I especially liked no. 45 ;). Real men do dinner, how true! ;)
Shared Awesome and Voted up !!
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Hi mbyL! #45 is also one of my favorites. I'm thankful I have a hubby that likes to cook and he's good too! Thanks for stopping by!
HAHA nice I loved this one! liked number 16 great!
I did a wrong habit today. Guess what, i was chewing and talking while in the work place. So who am i?
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Thanks Jordan! I caught my SIL singing Bieber a few times and I told him I was going to tell everyone and I did! Haha!!
Well incomeguru I guess that would make you a real man who chews food while talking but now you know it's not that acceptable. Feel free to continue!:)
Well said indeed. I am proud to say that my man is a real man...lol
thank heavens!!
good hub, sunshine :) many votes with awesome button. Sharing it across!
Voted up and interesting!
Not agreeing with the entire list but still it is quite interesting.
An entertaining and hilarious read! My dad is none of these mentioned things. Hence he's a real man - my mom will be thrilled to know this! Even I wanted my future husband to be a complete and genuine real man. I am actually surprised to see 22, 37, 40 and 45 as my male friends did these things yet they are complete gentlemen themselves! Well-done!
Thanks for SHARING. Funny & Interesting. Voted up.
I don't think the man I live with does anything of the things on the list. I know men who does many of the things and there's nothing wrong with that. This is such a great idea for another funny hub. Thank you Sunshine! :)
I gave many of these things a big tick as they apply to my man also. I just love "21.Ask for directions, they prefer to get lost and waste fuel".
YES, I KNOW! WHY! They do it every time, driving around for hours wasteing time and fuel, I will never understand this one, but they all seem to do it!!!
Love your lists Sunshine, they are always interesting and lots of fun. My votes to you and sharing!
Thanks for the great sharing Sunshine625, don't mind I add in an extra in your list? Real man would never hurt and make woman upset...
Hi Linda,
Great list.
I know some men that can out gossip a women.
I remember seeing a father carrying his little girl's pink barbie backpack. Now, there is a real man.
Voted up up and away
Have a wonderful day. :)
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Hi Ruchira, We are both lucky ladies!:)
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Hi Shampa, Thanks for the votes and the follow!
Ishwaryaa, Those are perfectly acceptable...just added for fun!
Thank you for stopping by!:)
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Hi Made! Good for you and your man!!:)
Fennel, It's just something about asking for directions...I never have a problem doing that!:)
Thank you both for sharing!
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Great addition injured lamb! Thanks for sharing!
Sueswan, I haven't know many men who gossip...I guess I'm a lucky one. Ha!
Your votes and comments are appreciated!:)
Sunshine, I enjoyed this! I would add (according to my husband) that a real man would not watch Oprah, watch Dr. Phil, stay behind a slow car, or eat salad. Ha Ha!
But seriously, I read once that all men have a certain vision of what a "real man," usually based on how they grew up. This vision varies but it's important to the man to not violate that code, whatever it is.
Very thought-provoking hub. Well done!
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PrairiePrincess! I almost added Oprah and Dr. Phil, but I didn't so thank you for adding them! Slow car and salad is awesome also! Thanks for your excellent comment...you enhanced my hub!:)
This was funny but good you spoke the truth i am in full agreement. Especially with brake up with someone via text i had one of those. A real man would have called not so!! Anyways its hard to find men we can quicker put our hands on a boyman in their mid thirties and still lurking around for MATURITY! Its a pity, lol but true
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Oh no, LadyFiddler breaking up via text is so wrong!! Thank you for sharing.
The funny thing is the worse one for me is a man with too soft hands! Ugh! lol! I don't know what it is, but it always makes me cringe if I have to shake hands with a man with soft or limp hands! loved the list!
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Somehow I had a feeling you would enjoy this hub Nell. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!:))
Great hub voted up.And funny.
Real men also do not act macho. If you know you are a man you do not need to prove it.
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Bmcoll, excellent addition to the list! Thank you!!
Enjoyed your hub...very entertaining!! : ) Voted up, of course and useful.
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Hi Gwen! Thanks for stopping by! Much appreciated!:)
funny stuff...let me think...ok got it...real men do not wear turtle necks and real men do not wear socks with sandals :)
Uh-oh, I am realizing in horror that I've never dated a real man before! That must be my problem! Too many guys are watching chick flicks, painting their nails, and wearing eyeliner (guyliner!)... sigh. I hate chick flicks myself. I need to find a real man to agree with me on that... does that make me not a real woman though? Ah! So many questions! Thanks for sharing this!
Linda, while reading this, each number reminded me of someone and I kept deleting them from the list of real men :D There is almost no one left in my lift ahhahahah great! And I agree of 46 especially! Yesss!
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mts...great additions!!! Thank you for adding them!:)
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Jeannie...fear not, you are a real woman!! Haha!!
Nare, We live and learn!!:)
I laughed. I cried. I came to the realization I'm failing at being a real man. I'm going to print this list out and paste it to my wall, give me three weeks and I'll be back on track. Voted up! Funny and Interesting.
Hehe, this is a fun list. :) You're pretty insightful - my husband actually told me one time: I will NEVER use LOL. That's just not what guys do. Hehe. Many votes.
It's a good List Sunshine...However, on the other hand, a Real Man feels comfortable enough in his own skin to do most of the list...Maybe...Fun, Fun, List!
Ummmm, I am not sure about the real men go to doctors :)
Somebody besides me needs to tell my honey that lol! I don't like the speedos on well really anybody, but pink can look hot on the right guy. There are not many guys who can wear it and look great, but there are some that it looks great on. Overall tho, pink really isn't the best idea.
Love the list :)
Hope you don't mind But I had to do a follow up. I called it Another fifty things real men don't do.
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Janikon, Keep us posted in 3 weeks!:)
Cyndi, Your husband had me LOL, he's a funny guy!
B. Malin, Very true (see #50) :)
Dawn, Pink could work for a man or against him. All men should go to the doctors, it makes them cool!
bmcoll3278...I'm on my way!!! :)
Thank you all for your comments!!
Love this hub! Of course the list was hilarious, but I really like your intro. It really enticed me to keep reading and find out what the ballplayer with his darling dog should be taking notes on!
Thanks for the hub!
40. Zumba. That is so true. I was out with a group of my male friends recently when one of them said "I'm thinking of trying that Zumba, it looks quite good". The only thing that distracted from the sound of a pin dropping was the tumbleweed that rolled by. He then spent the whole night being ridiculed and acquired the nickname 'Michael Flatley'. Boys will be boys!
Agreed with Iwriteforyou! Boys will be boys, but real men know how to change for the better of everyone :) Great Hub, Sunshine!
Some of these I agree with and others I don't as readily agree. But it is good to have a refresher of what other people's opinions are of what constitutes a real man.
Hubby can wear pink as long as he never says "NO" and always cooks dinner! :)
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Hi Kimberly, That man with the dog is a pet peeve of mine. He's one of the "know it all's" of the neighborhood. I had a lot of fun creating this hub. Thanks for stopping by!
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Iwriteforyou, your Zumba story is too funny!! Thank you for sharing!!
KDuBarry, Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!:)
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Thank you Mikey and Steph for your thoughtful and witty comments!:)
Wow! I'm a 'go' for all 50. Amazing.
Real men don't order drinks that come with umbrellas. That's the one that stands out for me.. I like the disclaimer. Vote up funny..
Great list Sunshine. By the way, I'm from Europe and I can tell you that I have never worn speedos or considered wearing them. Something about them makes me shudder.
As for the rest, I'm not quite a real man, I have used LOL a couple of times in texts. Damn! So close as well hahahaha!
Haha. I may not be a real woman (per your other list) but at least I'm married to a real man (as long as I don't count his iPad bag as purse; it's more of a manbag).
I didn't read all the comments but I would add spit to the list. I hate seeing a man spit I don't understand why they have to do that. Voted up.
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Way to go anivard!:)
Thank you Lovedoctor!!
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JKenny, Thank you for sharing!!!
Hi Deb, An iPad case is cool, do not fret!:)
Moonlake, You are the first to bring up the spit!:)
Thank you all for commenting!
Sunshine625 Lets play again. I just wrote this hub. Can you write a follow up
Funny Sunshine! I'm 49 for 50. I'm not going to tell you which one I do!
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Way to go Bill, I wish you would tell us! Haha!
Not sure if the list or the comments are funnier, Linda!
This is a lotta fun ... all in the name of finding a "SWEET TALKIN GUY"...!
Voted UP & FAB! Hugs, Maria
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I was thinking the same thing Maria! As the comments went on and on I thought "wow" these are too funny!!! Thanks for your witty comment!:)
I see you linked to part two .My hub. Thank you very much.
I'd say all the real men showed up here, lol.
Polly
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LOL good one Polly!!:)
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Scream like a girl when they see a bug! They squash it!
It seems like we have very few real men around.
There are a few here that really disgust me. They are;
2.Wear earrings
14.Sexually, mentally or physically abuse women or children
25.Get facials or skin peels
41.Watch Soap Operas
45.Ask, "What's for dinner?" they cook dinner
Men are slowly discarding their masculinity. Good share. Men should read this:)
A few issues with what's on the list.
1-Say no to their wives? really now so if the wife wants to buy a hand bag instead of getting braces for the kid the man is supposed to just say yes?
2-go to the potty, what if we have to talk in manners young children can understand, ie we are caring with children under the age of 6 ie my niece was 4 once and didn't grasp the concept of the bathroom is the potty
Interesting and funny. This belongs in a cosmo magazine!
Awesome hub, very entertaining and has some truth in it :) I agree with some of the points while others made me hearty laugh. Enjoyed reading it!
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Anjili, Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I actually like earrings on men...depending on the man, how many earrings and a stud not a hoop.
Darkproxy, Very good point! Men can say potty while with a child! Yes, there are times when men should say NO! Thank you for sharing!
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cnhughes and Dina Blaszczak...I appreciate you both stopping by and sharing your thoughts!:)
I think this list is really great. I do think real men do a few of the things on the list......like wear pink or ask what's for dinner sometimes or .... one or two others.......... but that is what makes the world go round.......... different minds. Cute hub. Very interesting. Voted that way and up.
Lisa
Sushine hub is a laughing riot.. point 21 and 26 made me laugh my guts out... don't do list can go into 1000s but below are few which i would like to share.
1) Real men do not dig their nose in public as they get plenty of time at home...
2) Real men do not cry in public only exception is being their inebriated condition
Voted up and shared
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Thanks for sharing Lisa! I'm glad you liked the list!:)
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Haha good one Mahesh! Now why didn't I think of those! You might want to create your own list...something to think about!:)
I read the women hub earlier but I finally read the other side of that hub with this hub......very funny stuff....I am relieved that I am not guilty of any of these 50 items....although I did hear myself say yesterday to my wife....I have to go "potty"....but I blame my two little girls who use "potty" all the time....I think I was just making sure my wife knew where I was going...lol....voted up and funny.
This is a great hub! #28 had me rolling! I'm voting up and funny. This one made me LOL and I can type that with my baby bottom soft hands while listening to Justin Bieber because I am a woman. (Side note....I was being sarcastic. I can't stand Justin Beiber!! It should be said that a real HUMAN never listens to Justin Beiber! jussayin.)
I liked the listings. great.. thanks
I'm glad that your blogs are about as unseen as Danny DeVito's underwear. Most of the ignorant and self-biased things in this list make absolutely no sense at all. Coldplay? Who are you kidding with this? This handful of ignorant and bored halfwits? One thing remains a FACT. This is YOUR opinion... no one elses. And that will remain so until the end of days. Good luck with your "life". lol ;)
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arealman ... Real Men Don't share their opinions until they read the entire article. The majority of this list came from real men hanging around a softball field in 93* heat without alcohol. I still get the Coldplay one either, but to each his own.
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"don't" get the Coldplay.
This is very funny! I came back to revisit. voted up!
This list was great Linda, interesting and cool to get your perspective. A lot of these were funny as well, voting this up, funny, awesome, and interesting :)
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Thanks for the revisit Love Doc!
Hi James! Thanks for the votes...not just my perspective (and humor), quite a few get credit. It's a good think Real Men Have A Sense Of Humor :)
hi didn't it mean to self actualize the dealings with women in order to make the list itself?
I think real men wear boxer shorts and drink beer in them!
Take care of the people that matter the most,
i.e. real man in the neighbohood of it does
Anish
B.B.
Brilliant and hysterical. Well done. -K
Funny Hub. a few contributions: Leave the toilet seat up; shop in millinery stores; obsess about a small stain in a rug; flip the middle finger to other motorists; watch The View." I'll think of more. Voted up and funny.
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Hi Cogerson, It's kind of difficult not to use the "potty" word with youngens around. Heck I'll probably never stop using it...it's just a fun word. Thanks for stopping by!:)
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Ms-Chrysalis...I should have added "do not listen to Justin Bieber" that's a great addition to the list! I still don't get the Coldplay, but that came from a pitcher so I thought he knew something I didn't. Thank you!!!
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Penofone and rfmoran...your additions are fabulous! Thank you so much for adding on to the fun! Real Men Do Not Watch The View! That's EPIC :)
krsharp, Your comment is appreciated!
This was amusing. I was wondering if you were going to condone that list, but when I got to the disclaimer I smiled. To the man who shouted, I play softball with the intramural team at my school and I hit farther than any of the guys on my team.
great hub!!!
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Way to go HLKeeley! Good for you! :)
Thank you Nikki!
Your comments are appreciated!
Looooove it!!!!!!! I really needed that giggle fit. Thanks!
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Hi Heidi, I'm glad you enjoyed the list of how to be a real man! :)
Well I haven't read all the comments so I'm not sure if you ruffled any feathers- LOL - but this was hilarious. I know a lot of men who do these things so if they don't have a sense of humor, they sure as hell might be 'irked' but I loved the list format and the way you did this. You did this one before I showed up, but I noticed it while I've been perusing everyone's new and pretty profiles. Great job!
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Hi Julie, No feathers ruffled yet, but then again maybe no one let me know. Haha! It's all in fun. If we can't laugh at ourselves that's kinda sad. Thank you for your comment! :)
Real men do not talk with food in their mouths! Have you ever cooked for your husband and his friends for a ball game or wrestling event? All of those crumbs on the floor after it is over are the result of them yelling and swearing while eating :o)
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Levertis, my answer would be a no. I always suggested the nearest restaurant that served wings and beer :)
Ouch! I am glad that this is all for fun, otherwise "real men" would so busy being worried about breaking a rule they couldn't express themselves. Or worse, they wouldn't have time to pay any attention to us! Haha!
I do agree men shouldn't shave their legs. Or anything else that isn't there facial hair or sometimes their head if they are so inclined. It is kind of disturbing. Everything else I could ignore. But then, I live around a lot of bikers, and they all wear earrings. It would terribly dangerous to assume or accuse them of not being 'real men"!
Great hub! Going to read the twin hub now!
I'm one of the 20 percent (or so) of straight men who wasn't born with a "male ego," so I knew I wasn't a "real man" before even glancing at this list. Let's see...I'm an individualist feminist; an arm-and-leg shaver; a diehard fan of happy, sappy, bubbly dance-pop music and bright, rainbowy colors; a non-drinker and non-smoker who's strongly into natural and holistic health practices; and four years ago, I risked everything I had to flee the infantile-machismo culture of the U.S. by moving to the lovely city of Chongqing, China, where I'm happily building my life, and where I can actually find lots of friends and enjoy a real social life as a real person for once! Go figure....
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Way to go DiscoProJoe! It sounds like you are a man on a mission of happiness:)
ROFL.. You are so funny! Older men in speedos are the funniest! You always make me laugh... Voted up funny @ awesome! Happy Halloween my friend.
no, A real man does whatever he wants. He can watch any program and remain manly.
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Ok Michael, if that's what you want to believe, go right ahead and I wish you good luck.
I must be the oddest one here to comment on this list so far! I am 51 and a real man goes back to school to relearn a trade or upgrade to what is new in his trade! I am a 51 year old sophomore at California University of PA and I am the only man who goes around with my ring and necklaces and bracelets while wearing a dress(sometimes a pink one!) and yes , the girls do date me! they feel it takes a real man to show his true self! and yes I am straight! I am also a local celebrity on the radio and people call in just to ask me for cooking tips and to ask what I am wearing! And this is on a music show!
so to me, real men don't sit in a closet: they bring the closet out!
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Thank you for sharing how much of a man you are George! :)
Greatest men of all time wore rings. Ring men wear silver rings!
real men also wear tights and perform stunts in a 3-ring circus that a so-called macho man wouldn't dare!
#50 is all that matters.
Hahahahaha...Real men also should kill the mouse! Love it Linda! ♥
Some interesting and hilarious points here. I watch soap operas in spite of being a man because my wife expects me to give her company while she is engrossed in them.
If you think about it...
Numbers 35 and 38 contridict each other.
Just saying.
I watch the Soaps to catch up on the latest in ladies fashion. I do want to look my best!!!
I can agree with some of them.
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AI ~ George Greene Jr. ~ KBEvolve ~ Rusticliving ~ vnsatakopan ~ Wesley Meacham ~ Miller2232 .... Your comments, wisdom and humor is appreciated by myself and many readers! :)
Ok Sunshine,
How many of these have to apply before I get defrocked as a real man? (If I really ever was) (never going to use LOL again) (Oops, I did)
Great hub, voted up+
Where the hell did you come up with this list. As far as #2 (earrings) I can assure you that PLENTY of heterosexual and homosexual men here in stuffy Washington, DC wear earrings. Its a personal choice to wear them and has absolutely ZERO to do with one's worth as a "real man" - SHAME ON YOU for asserting such rubbish...
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Pologuy ... I repeat (from above) "This article in no way is meant to ridicule men. Men are awesome! They are just easy to poke fun at. In my opinion they are more capable of laughing at themselves than women are."
This is a testimony that i will tell to every one to hear. i have been married four 4years and on the fifth year of my marriage, another woman had a spell to take my lover away from me and my husband left me and the kids and we have suffered for 2years until i meant a post where this man Esango Priest have helped someone and i decided to give him a try to help me bring my love Husband home and believe me i just send my picture to him and that of my husband and after 48hours as he have told me, i saw a car drove into the house and behold it was my husband and he have come to me and the kids and that is why i am happy to make every one of you in similar to met with this man and have your lover back to your self. His email: esangopriest@hotmail.com he is a good man and straight forward human
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Wow Vicky, that's some story! I wish you the best of luck!
LOL!
ah, shit.
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LOL Chris. Oops.
Oh wow... awesome... so a man can totally cheat on his wife for a few weeks and then tell her that he is under a spell and that she needs to send his and her photo to this Esango Priest dude and everything will be right as rain again in just 48 hours. That's awesome! I'm gonna go have a few 8x10 glossies made just in case an opportunity... I mean, need... yes, need... arises...
This is right on, Linda! I wouldn't change any man with these traits (my hubby has the majority of these). Great list! You have my vote!
I think real men don't wear earrings at all
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That's great for you Teaches! You are a lucky lady! :)
Bronte, an earring is ok. Not multiple. Thanks!
Sunshine625.
You are one of those women who want to put man in a box ...I would say the Brummel box of the Victorian era where men have been stuck since then. You are full of hypocrisy! Women have no more boundaries for what they can wear, you even wear men clothing and it is ok! For centuries men were real men and they did not go by the list above. Go tell a Roman soldier he was not a real man... what about Alexander the great who conquered the world in a skirt! What about Louis the XIV king of France who wore high heels shoes......Women have taken every piece of garments they wear today from men. Skirts were worn by men, women wore long dresses, high heel shoes were first made for men as well, pants for men....... People like you want to keep men stuck in some boring fashion trend forever.
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Hi Jean, This list is intended for those with a hearty sense of humor. Thank you for sharing your thoughts :)
Now you make me feel bad..... ok, but I bet some of you girls think it is true! I have to say I wish that men had the guts that women have. Too many men are just chickens in our society... By the way, canyou send some warm weather from your part of the world to PA, we have been buried in snow and cold. Peace Jean
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Sending you some sunshine Jean :)
Real man lead and do what they want. They don't follow other people standards of what a real man is.
So why do men have to have to be tough? It isn't my job to be tough or manly for the female gender. I am as entitled to my emotions as any woman is. I don't see why my mindset has to be tailored to any women's (or man's) expectations. I like most women I have met in life but frankly my life and my emotions do not revolve around women or societal expectations of manliness.
If men disappoint the author she might do well to remind herself that we do not need to match up with her expectations. Our existence was never required to be justified by female approval and I would like to remind all men of that fact.
To be honest I don't often hear men say "If she was any kind of a REAL woman she would..." I have definitely heard women say similar things towards men. Truth is that women do not have the right to define masculinity for us. Just as it would be wrong for us to define it for them.
Plus... I will listen to Justin Beiber all I want!
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Thank you for sharing your point of view, Eric :)
Can I apply lotion, hehehe?! Well, Ms. Sunshine, it depends on the generation you are in, that's what I think. Vanity is also applicable to men for personality development. Maroon 5 and Justin Bieber is in our generation, so we like most of their songs, hahaha!
Hi Sunshine625,
I love it. I caught my Daddy gossiping with two of his friends one day when I stopped by for a visit with him and Mama. I had never heard him say a single word about anyone before this and I had to laugh. They were busy sharing and did not hear me come in the front door.
And as far as the pony tail---no one looked as good as Steven Seagal in a ponytail when he was young. I liked men with long hair years ago. And, now I like them groomed, dressed and clean with little after shave then, they get an A+ from me.
I think men in white long sleeve shirts are very sexy. Do one on what makes men sexy to women. You are great at these list.
Until later,
Bobbi Purvis
you speak about really man but in reality ............
ouah
great list but I have to disagree with #2. I wear earrings in both ears and I am a real man...
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And I am sure you rock the look, jtbrock!
What a great list...and as you said you don't agree with most of them but they ARE out there now...there are some ladies should consider NOT doing as well :D
Have a lovely Friday...foggy here in Alachua county today....
Angels are on the way ps
"And I am sure you rock the look, jtbrock!"
I do! LOL
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Hi PS, While this list was written in fun, quite a few took it serious. Uh oh! :)
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I just knew it, jt! :)
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