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20 Ways to Tell If She's a Lady

Kari was taught to be a lady by her mother. She is considerate and polite.

20 Signs of a Lady

"Ladies and gentlemen!" is often a cry to get attention from a crowd. There are many articles regarding what a gentleman is, but not so many about ladies. What is a lady?

Merriam-Webster's Dictionary defines the word lady as "A woman of refinement and gentle manners." What exactly does refinement and gentle manners mean? How do we tell if a woman is a lady?

The word "lady" may bring to mind someone so prim and proper as to be unpleasant. Ladies may be prim and proper, but they are never unpleasant. Real ladies know how to have fun. They dance and laugh and spin until they are dizzy.

What about your date? Is this someone you can bring home to the parents? Will you be embarrassed by her tactless comments? Will she think less of you after meeting your siblings? Or will she conduct herself with grace and civility through it all?

How can you tell? Here are 20 ways to tell if she is a lady.

Ladies know how to laugh.

Ladies know how to laugh.

1. She Courtesies

Courtesy is a hallmark feature of being a lady. As Sansa Stark told the Hound, "Courtesy is a lady's armor." The armor of politeness, good manners, civility, and respect deflects many a wounding blow.

2. She's Very Polite

Politeness is another piece of her formidable armor. Playing on the phone while others are present is rudeness in her opinion. We should pay attention to the people we are with and reserve phone play for when we are alone. When her phone rings, she will excuse herself if she must answer, otherwise she lets the call go to voicemail.

The more you act like a lady, the more he'll act like a gentleman.

— Sidney Biddle Barrows

3. There Aren't Any Arguments

She respects the opinions of others. A lady does not get into arguments. She does not raise her voice or yell. She will have lively conversations, but she does not put her opinions over the opinions of her companion. Each opinion holds her respect. Her open-mindedness is a well-known fact.

4. She is Punctual

Ladies are punctual. Understanding others' time is as important as her own, she does not keep you waiting. Fashionably late is not in her vocabulary. A lady finds nothing fashionable about being late.

5. They're Patient

Jostling others in line and crowding those ahead of her are actions she ardently avoids. When in line she waits patiently. She has a smile and a kind word for her fellows-in-line. If the attendant becomes flustered and the line is creeping, she refrains from seeming impatient. Again she smiles and has a kind word for the flustered attendant. Each person is worthy of her respect and courtesy.

6. She's a Good Listener

Ladies are well-spoken and good listeners. They have excellent active listening skills. Smiling, nodding her head, adding small agreements encourages the speaker. While speaking with a lady the speaker feels he/she has an important message worth listening to.

7. They're Respectful

Please and thank you are a part of her everyday regime. She respects others and shows that respect in how she treats them. When meeting someone, she smiles, shakes their hand, and maintains eye contact.

8. They Have Good Hygiene

A lady exhibits good hygiene. She is clean and pleasant to be around. Ladies understand that being clean helps others feel more comfortable around them.

9. She Displays Honor

Ladies adhere to a code. A code of living that appreciates all others. She is honest, truthful, and sincere. She wears her honor as if it was a gown to wrap herself in.

10. She Shows Integrity

Ladies do not do what is right only when others are looking. Ladies do what is right when no one is looking. She embraces a strong work ethic. All jobs worth doing are worth doing well. In all instances, a lady will work to the best of her abilities. She pays attention to detail.

Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.

— Margaret Thatcher

11. She Doesn't Gossip

You do not find a lady gossiping. She understands that gossip is a derogatory skill. She grasps the beauty of truth and attempts to stay within its limits. If she does not have something nice to say she does not say anything at all.

12. She's Sincere

Ladies give sincere compliments. They know that there is good in everyone, and she knows how to look for it. If a lady says she loves your dress there is no hidden agenda. She just loves your dress.

13. She Shows Kindness

Kindness and benevolence are a lady in a nutshell. Others' time, feelings, and opinions are taken into consideration by ladies. They are careful not to cause inconvenience or hurt to others. Ladies are thoughtful and solicitous to others.

14. She is Generous

A lady shares well. She will take the blame but always shares the credit. She admits when she is wrong. Ladies have generosity when dealing with others.

You may be a princess or the richest woman in the world, but you cannot be more than a lady.

— Lady Randolph Churchill

15. She Has a Dress Code

A lady dresses based on the situation. She understands the unwritten dress code that applies to various social engagements. A demure dress for one occasion and that little black number for another.

The natural makeup and simple hair style matches the plaid shirt.  She knows how to present herself.

The natural makeup and simple hair style matches the plaid shirt. She knows how to present herself.

15. She's Ethical

Ladies have a code of ethics that guides their life. Fairness, truthfulness, and decency are at the root of their actions. Ladies know that each of our actions impact the others in our lives. A code of ethics is difficult to maintain at all times but the lady will want to sleep well at night and live with a clean conscience.

16. She Displays a Wide Vocabulary

Ladies maintain a large vocabulary. They do not stoop to vulgarities during arguments. You are not a sh##, you are a dodo brain.

17. She's Tactful

A lady is discreet, thoughtful, and sensitive in her comments. She tells unpleasant truths in such a way as to inflict the least amount of damage. Ladies do not belittle others in public. If you do not understand why the whole office hates you, a lady will pull you aside and tell you the reason tactfully.

18. They're a Lifetime Learner

A lady is educated and continues to learn throughout life. She takes pleasure in learning new information, new ways to do things, and new things to do.

19. She Keeps Secrets

A lady can keep a secret. If you tell her something in confidence, she will not repeat it. She understands the meaning of private.

20. She's Moderate

A lady is moderate in alcohol use, appetite and extravagance. She may want that whole cake but she will content herself with a slice. She can afford that giant rock ring but finds it tacky and flashy.

She’s a Lady!

All ladies treat others with kindness, courtesy and generosity. They are truthful and sincere. Politeness is their name and integrity is their game.

If that special someone exhibits these behaviors, I believe it is safe to bring them home and show them off. As a lady she will be tactful and courteous. Enjoy yourself knowing you can trust her and relax.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2017 Kari Poulsen