Reasons Why Your Friends Are Ignoring Your Calls
The Phone - Friend or Foe
Since the invention of caller ID, people have been ignoring phone calls from people they find annoying. Some people only avoid telemarketers, collections agencies, or that pesky boss asking why they are not at work yet. That seems pretty reasonable. However, there are some folks that avoid friends and family members, too. Do you think your phone calls are being ignored?
If you suspect this is true, then you are probably right (unless you are totally paranoid, but I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you are emotionally stable). This is especially the case if you've noticed a pattern of being neglected by those close to you. If you are confused about why this happening, that is OK. I am here to break it down for you. You may just need to break a bad habit or two to get back on everyone's good side.
You Talk Too Much
This could be a case of an "over talker" situation. Do your conversations last about 2 hours? Do you monopolize the conversation when you are on the phone? If your friend or family member tries to talk, do you simply talk over her? Well, how obnoxious! No one has time for an over talker conversation.
If you are having 2 hour conversations and the person on the other end of the phone does not seem to mind, then by all means, continue to talk until your throat is sore. However, if you are noticing people stop picking up the phone when you call or they try to make excuses to end the phone call after 30 minutes or so, you are talking too much. The good news is, that is not that difficult to change. Just stop talking so much!
Yeah, I said it. Maybe you are creepy. You might be that "friend" that no one really likes in the group. Every group usually has a friend that is kept around out of sympathy or because no one wants to admit they don't like Creepy Peter. One day, there is usually a revelation during Creepy Peter's absence that goes something like this:
Brian: "Hey, where is Peter today?"
Tony: "He is at his Mom's house."
Debbie: "Yeah, he seems a little obsessed with his Mom anyway."
Carrie: "I always assumed his mother was not even alive anymore. I figured he was dressing her up and keeping her in the attic with the other dead bodies he probably has in his house."
Tony: "Hey, wait a minute, you think Peter is creepy, too?"
Debbie: "Yeah, Carrie and I call him Creepy Peter when he is not around."
Brian: "Are you serious? I call him that, too!"
Tony: "Well, wait. Do you guys even like Peter?"
Carrie: "No, I thought you and Tony were friends with Peter."
Tony: "Yeah, since middle school, but I felt bad ditching him. Brian, you like Peter, right?"
Brian: "No way! I am scared to death of Creepy Peter! I thought he would kill us all if we ditched him as a friend."
Debbie: "Yes, me too. I still can't stand to take his phone calls though..."
You see how that conversation went? The lesson here is: don't be a Creepy Peter! If your friends or family members are not taking your calls and they seem hesitant to be alone in a room with you, you are scaring them. Seek help now!
If you are a phone conversation multi-tasker, it can be quite annoying for the person talking to you. Let me elaborate on this... you call your friend but have other stuff that needs to get done. Your friend is trying to tell you about a movie she just saw, but instead of listening, you are dropping pots and pans while making dinner and yelling at the cat to get off the counter and you have Lady Gaga blaring in the background. Does this sound like you? Yeah, no one likes that.
It is fine to get a little multi-tasking done while on the phone, especially if someone calls you and you are in the middle of something. If your activity is really loud though, such as vacuuming, don't bother picking up the phone and don't make phone calls while you are in the middle of such a task. It is so rude to the person on the other line. You can't hear anything and neither can the person on the other phone line.
Also, don't make important calls while driving. You might get distracted and get in an accident. The person on the other end of the phone does not want to have to live with that guilt, so stop driving and talking on the phone. Furthermore, if you are going to argue with your children the whole time you are on the phone, you might want to reconsider that as well. No wonder nobody wants to take your calls!
You Are Too Needy
If your friends refuse to take your phone calls, you might be that needy friend. Everyone has a needy friend. The girl that can't figure out how to work her own microwave and needs a friend to tell her how to use it. The guy that never has a ride, but always seems to need a lift to a place an hour away. You might fit into this category if you are always calling people when you need a favor, but never for anything else.
The key to getting back on everyone's good side in this situation is to simply stop being needy. If you have been needy for years, this might be a hard habit to break, but it can be done. Before you panic over your situation... stop, stay calm, and figure out how you can solve the problem all on your own. Put your big girl panties on (or big boy undies on) and do it for yourself. You are an adult - now act like one!
Your Friends are Busy
Yes, it is really possible that your friends might be busy. It might not be you at all. We live in a pretty fast-paced world now and everyone has about 20 errands to run, but only enough time to do 10 of those errands. Does your friend have a new person he or she is dating? Maybe your friend just joined a new gym and still actually cares about exercising. (Don't worry... that will wear off soon enough!)
In some cases, people have to work longer hours than ever before just to make ends meet. It is possible your buddy just got a second job or is working longer hours at a current job. Sending a quick email or a message on Facebook might be the best way to communicate. Don't just assume your friends or family members are purposely ignoring you until you have more evidence.
Do you ever ignore phone calls from people you know?
Your Friend Owes You Money
Once again, this is not your fault either. You can't help it that your friend is worthless about paying you back. If your friend owes you $50 and you saw her ducking down in Payless last week trying to avoid you because she was buying multiple pairs of shoes, she is no doubt going to avoid your call until A) she thinks you've forgotten there is any money owed, or B) finally has your money to pay you.
Of course, she might just take your call if she needs to borrow money again. I would recommend just sending texts asking about paying the money back if that is the case.
Maybe You Should Just Send An Email
When in doubt, perhaps just sending a simple email to your friend or family member is really the best plan of action. You can ask what is up with them, but not get too wordy. That way, you can let people know you care, but you are not monopolizing anyone's time. The phone can be your friend, but it can also turn into an enemy if abused.
Thanks for checking out my article and thanks for not calling me too much... I have stuff to do!