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Reasons Why Your Friends Are Ignoring Your Calls

Jeannie has been writing online for over 10 years. She covers a wide variety of topics - hobbies, opinions, dating advice, and more!


The Phone - Friend or Foe

Since the invention of caller ID, people have been ignoring phone calls from people they find annoying. Some people only avoid telemarketers, collections agencies, or that pesky boss asking why they are not at work yet. That seems pretty reasonable. However, there are some folks that avoid friends and family members, too. Do you think your phone calls are being ignored?

If you suspect this is true, then you are probably right (unless you are totally paranoid, but I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you are emotionally stable). This is especially the case if you've noticed a pattern of being neglected by those close to you. If you are confused about why this happening, that is OK. I am here to break it down for you. You may just need to break a bad habit or two to get back on everyone's good side.

You Talk Too Much

This could be a case of an "over talker" situation. Do your conversations last about 2 hours? Do you monopolize the conversation when you are on the phone? If your friend or family member tries to talk, do you simply talk over her? Well, how obnoxious! No one has time for an over talker conversation.

If you are having 2 hour conversations and the person on the other end of the phone does not seem to mind, then by all means, continue to talk until your throat is sore. However, if you are noticing people stop picking up the phone when you call or they try to make excuses to end the phone call after 30 minutes or so, you are talking too much. The good news is, that is not that difficult to change. Just stop talking so much!

You're Creepy

Yeah, I said it. Maybe you are creepy. You might be that "friend" that no one really likes in the group. Every group usually has a friend that is kept around out of sympathy or because no one wants to admit they don't like Creepy Peter. One day, there is usually a revelation during Creepy Peter's absence that goes something like this:

Brian: "Hey, where is Peter today?"

Tony: "He is at his Mom's house."

Debbie: "Yeah, he seems a little obsessed with his Mom anyway."

Carrie: "I always assumed his mother was not even alive anymore. I figured he was dressing her up and keeping her in the attic with the other dead bodies he probably has in his house."

Tony: "Hey, wait a minute, you think Peter is creepy, too?"

Debbie: "Yeah, Carrie and I call him Creepy Peter when he is not around."

Brian: "Are you serious? I call him that, too!"

Tony: "Well, wait. Do you guys even like Peter?"

Carrie: "No, I thought you and Tony were friends with Peter."

Tony: "Yeah, since middle school, but I felt bad ditching him. Brian, you like Peter, right?"

Brian: "No way! I am scared to death of Creepy Peter! I thought he would kill us all if we ditched him as a friend."

Debbie: "Yes, me too. I still can't stand to take his phone calls though..."

You see how that conversation went? The lesson here is: don't be a Creepy Peter! If your friends or family members are not taking your calls and they seem hesitant to be alone in a room with you, you are scaring them. Seek help now!



If you are a phone conversation multi-tasker, it can be quite annoying for the person talking to you. Let me elaborate on this... you call your friend but have other stuff that needs to get done. Your friend is trying to tell you about a movie she just saw, but instead of listening, you are dropping pots and pans while making dinner and yelling at the cat to get off the counter and you have Lady Gaga blaring in the background. Does this sound like you? Yeah, no one likes that.

It is fine to get a little multi-tasking done while on the phone, especially if someone calls you and you are in the middle of something. If your activity is really loud though, such as vacuuming, don't bother picking up the phone and don't make phone calls while you are in the middle of such a task. It is so rude to the person on the other line. You can't hear anything and neither can the person on the other phone line.

Also, don't make important calls while driving. You might get distracted and get in an accident. The person on the other end of the phone does not want to have to live with that guilt, so stop driving and talking on the phone. Furthermore, if you are going to argue with your children the whole time you are on the phone, you might want to reconsider that as well. No wonder nobody wants to take your calls!

You Are Too Needy

If your friends refuse to take your phone calls, you might be that needy friend. Everyone has a needy friend. The girl that can't figure out how to work her own microwave and needs a friend to tell her how to use it. The guy that never has a ride, but always seems to need a lift to a place an hour away. You might fit into this category if you are always calling people when you need a favor, but never for anything else.

The key to getting back on everyone's good side in this situation is to simply stop being needy. If you have been needy for years, this might be a hard habit to break, but it can be done. Before you panic over your situation... stop, stay calm, and figure out how you can solve the problem all on your own. Put your big girl panties on (or big boy undies on) and do it for yourself. You are an adult - now act like one!

Your Friends are Busy

Yes, it is really possible that your friends might be busy. It might not be you at all. We live in a pretty fast-paced world now and everyone has about 20 errands to run, but only enough time to do 10 of those errands. Does your friend have a new person he or she is dating? Maybe your friend just joined a new gym and still actually cares about exercising. (Don't worry... that will wear off soon enough!)

In some cases, people have to work longer hours than ever before just to make ends meet. It is possible your buddy just got a second job or is working longer hours at a current job. Sending a quick email or a message on Facebook might be the best way to communicate. Don't just assume your friends or family members are purposely ignoring you until you have more evidence.

Phone Poll

Your Friend Owes You Money

Once again, this is not your fault either. You can't help it that your friend is worthless about paying you back. If your friend owes you $50 and you saw her ducking down in Payless last week trying to avoid you because she was buying multiple pairs of shoes, she is no doubt going to avoid your call until A) she thinks you've forgotten there is any money owed, or B) finally has your money to pay you.

Of course, she might just take your call if she needs to borrow money again. I would recommend just sending texts asking about paying the money back if that is the case.

Maybe You Should Just Send An Email

When in doubt, perhaps just sending a simple email to your friend or family member is really the best plan of action. You can ask what is up with them, but not get too wordy. That way, you can let people know you care, but you are not monopolizing anyone's time. The phone can be your friend, but it can also turn into an enemy if abused.

Thanks for checking out my article and thanks for not calling me too much... I have stuff to do!


Umesh Chandra Bhatt from Kharghar, Navi Mumbai, India on December 06, 2019:

Very interesting and useful. Thanks.

Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on September 25, 2013:

Ah yes, it sounds like a classic case of revenge if you ask me. I think it must be because you did not pick up their calls in the past... or else they thought about it and decided you had a good idea. Maybe they ignore all their calls now.

Thanks for your comment!

Sushmita from Kolkata, India on September 25, 2013:

Very helpful tips, Jeannie..recently I was wondering if people have really stopped picking up my call, but I still can't see which category I fit into- it could be the talkative or the creepy (spinster) syndrome!

My closest friends and relatives used to complain a lot about me never picking up their calls. So just cannot rule out the retaliatory attack too. Did you consider that? ;)

Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on September 10, 2013:

You are right... I did not think of the Drama Queen. I usually classify her with the Overly Needy friend, but sometimes the two are not the same. Sometimes a person just has drama, but they need no one to add to it. ;-) Thanks for reminding me!

Susan Bailey from South Yorkshire, UK on September 09, 2013:

Great hub but you didn't cover drama queen! That's me and when I'm in the throes of a drama - which is quite often and not self- inflicted I should add; I find that some of my 'friends' don't pick up. I am just someone who attracts bad luck and weird things happen to. Things just go badly wrong and I sometimes think I must be cursed. I know it must be very wearing for anyone on the other end of the phone having to listen to yet another dilemma so I do understand. I'm going to start popping round instead of phoning I think. That should have them cowering at the back of the sofa!

Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on September 09, 2013:

drbj, thank you for being so considerate. Now, if you could just let my friends and family members to do the same....

drbj and sherry from south Florida on September 09, 2013:

Fascinating, funny message, Jeannie, and I promise not to call, write or email you ... in excess, that is. Promise!

Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on September 09, 2013:

Thank you everyone for all the great comments!

Kathryn, I am happy you enjoyed my hubs. Thanks for sharing!

RealHousewife, wow, no voice mail! You are brave. I could not live without voice mail.

lambservant, I am not sure how anyone functions without voice mail. I have voice mail on two phones, but just an answering machine on the other. I figure I am not a cop, a firefighter, or a doctor, so if it is a true emergency there isn't much I can do anyway. If someone leaves me a voice mail, I will get back to them. Oh, and I don't get the texting thing either... I rarely ever even read mine, much less respond back. I am awful!

FlourishAnyway, you sound like me. Unless it is my mother, there is no need for an immediate call back. Sometimes I just send an email in response. I am surprised I have any friends left. Hehehe.

LKMore01, thanks so much! I am glad you liked it.

LKMore01 on September 08, 2013:


Had a great laugh and really enjoyed this funny and reflective HUB. Excellent as usual.

FlourishAnyway from USA on September 07, 2013:

I usually let it all go to voicemail and answer the messages when I want to. Sometimes it's a week or two later. People I really want to talk to know how to get in touch with me. Then there's a certain relative who insists on texting me lengthy texts -- several in a row because the message won't fit. Overtalkers are also overtexters.

Lori Colbo from United States on September 07, 2013:

I have friends who won't answer to anyone, yet it you text them, they text right back. I find it RUDE and frustrating if there is something important to discuss (not necessarily lengthy) and the texting would be lengthy. My text will only do 160 words. that sounds like a lot but it is nothing. They want to discuss for 30 minutes texting which could only take 5 if we spoke to each other. It's exhausting texting that much for that long. I have a phone (the only kind I can afford) where I may have to press a button 3 or 4 times to use a specific letter or number. The punctuation is limited so I have to go to another place and find the right mark blah blah. I used to take it personally until other complained about the same thing.

I also have a friend who has a head set and she does everything while we're talking. It's not uncommon to hear dishes and pots and pans clanging, sewing machine going, getting distracted while she emails or feeds the chickens. I will be in the middle of a sentence and she'll start talking about them because they are pets. What's more frustrating is she knows I am hard of hearing and have trouble when all is quiet.

I am not sure why people have phones if they won't answer. I say that respectfully.

What do you guys to when there is an urgent matter and you don't even have voice mail?

I am not a long winded phone person. I want to get it over with quickly. The exception is my two closest friends or my sons. It is a mutual thing in those cases. I also kind of zone out if I can't hear well. I am learning to tell them to email or just say I am having trouble with hearing loss.

Great hub. I always marvel at your topics.

Kelly Umphenour from St. Louis, MO on September 07, 2013:

Hilarious Jeannie! Everyone always gets mad at me because I don't answer my phone. (Do they realize I don't strap it to my arm and walk around near it all day?) and...I don't have voice mail set up either...so that relives me of any messages asking me to do stuff or call back:) lol lol

Kathryn from Windsor, Connecticut on September 07, 2013:

This is so funny, as usual. I love how you write about something that actually can be a "problem", but in a humorous way. You made my day by starting it off with a few laughs!

Voted up and sharing, because everyone needs a bit of laughter and fun in their day. And it can be a very useful message to some people!

Have a great weekend.

~ Kathryn

Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on September 07, 2013:

vandynegl - You are so right! Time is precious and who can be a counselor all the time? I don't ditch friends when they need me the most, but I do have to ditch friends that can't ever figure out how to stand on their own two feet. How frustrating! Thanks for checking out my hub.

randomcreative - You are right. I probably watch too much Seinfeld and I've started thinking like them. Hehe. Thanks for the comment!

Rose Clearfield from Milwaukee, Wisconsin on September 06, 2013:

"Over talker" sounds like something out of Seinfeld!

vandynegl from Ohio Valley on September 06, 2013:

These are great!!! I love the multi-tasker phone person.....I always hate it when I am talking to someone doing something else! You shared some good reasons why people may be avoiding your phone calls.....especially the people who are extra needy. It is always a downer when we have someone who is constantly negative and needing reassurance. Time is precious and we can't always spend it being a counselor. Good hub!!

Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on September 06, 2013:

I have an answering machine for one of my phones and I do the same thing sometimes. Most of the time I don't pick up the phone anyway. No matter who it is, I am just not in the mood to be chatty. Thanks for your comment!

sheilamyers on September 06, 2013:

Great hub! I don't think I fit into any of those and most of the people I call will answer if they know it's me. I don't have caller ID, but I do let my machine pick up most of the time and wait for the person to start talking before I decide if I want to pick up the phone.

Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on September 06, 2013:

Thank you! I never answer calls either... I just wish I could get away with doing that at work as well as at home.

Jayme Kinsey from Oklahoma on September 06, 2013:

Brilliant! I think my friends ignore me because I tend to never answer their calls. Just in case they call to complain or borrow money.

Love your style as usual!

Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on September 06, 2013:

Thanks so much! It is good to here from someone else that is in the same boat with me. I think I am steady losing friends myself. ;-)

Marcy J. Miller from Arizona on September 06, 2013:

Jeannie, you're my hero! (Well, I'd say "heroine" but let's face it, that word just doesn't pack the same punch. Darned gender-based language!) You've just summarized some of the reasons why *I* don't call many people. Heck, I don't know if the "send" button on my phone works anymore.

I'd forward this to all my friends if I had any left. Great job ... as usual.

Best -- MJ

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