Coping With Disappointment When a Friendship Ends

Updated on December 5, 2016
Room of My Own profile image

Sadie Holloway is a workshop facilitator who teaches interpersonal communication skills to help people strengthen their relationships.

When a friendship ends, the pain and disappointment may be as traumatic and stressful as a divorce or a break-up. Here are some tips to help you recover after a friendship comes to an end.

Healing from the loss of a special friendship will take time.

The end of a friendship can be heartbreaking.
The end of a friendship can be heartbreaking.

Letting go and learning to live without someone you love and care about can be one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. But, with time and gentle self-reflection, you can get past your feelings of hurt and disappointment. You can move on with your life, even if it means finding a way to do so without a dear friend at your side.

Why did your friendship end? There are many reason that a friendship may come to an end. And not all of them have to do with having a big "falling out." You may be feeling sad about your friend moving away. Or, perhaps you were the one who moved away. You may be feeling sad because you and your friend no longer share the same hobbies, interests, and activities. Changes in your life, or your friend's life, may mean that you have less time to see each other. When one friend gets married or starts a family, sometimes priorities change and the friendship can’t thrive the way it once did.

Whatever the reason your friendship came to an end, here are some ways to cope with your loss.

What was the reason your friendship came to an end?

See results

Avoid playing the blame game when a friendship ends. Look at your friendship objectively and without judgement. There is no need to blame yourself or the other person for your friendship ending, unless you want to hang onto the pain of losing your friend for the rest of your life. Blame, anger, and resentment are traps that keep you from moving on after a relationship ends.

Create new habits and routines. When a friendship ends, old habits die hard sometimes. Perhaps you and your friend had a daily ritual of calling each other at a certain time of day. A favorite TV show or song on the radio can trigger memories of your friendship and bring up feelings of loss and sadness. Constant reminders of your old friendship can make letting go really hard. Finding new social activities, hobbies, and sports activities can keep your mind occupied, improve your mental and physical health and create new social connections.

It may take some time to get used to being on your own when a friendship ends.
It may take some time to get used to being on your own when a friendship ends.

After a friendship ends, find a way to be your own best friend for awhile. Loving yourself after a let-down is a critical part of recovering from the pain of a relationship ending. You may be feeling down on yourself for letting the friendship end. But that self-hate won’t get you anywhere. In fact, it will make finding new friends and companions even harder. When you put yourself down, you draw negative attention to yourself. Try to find positive, life-affirming solo activities that make you feel good about yourself again. Set some personal goals that you want to reach and then make a plan to achieve each of those new goals. But, make sure that the goals you set are for you and you alone. Don’t set a self-improvement goal just to get back at your friend or make her jealous. (i.e.; "I will lose weight so that I can look more fabulous than her!”). Goals set just to spite someone else won’t help you move past the pain of the relationship ending.

Give yourself and the other person time and space to heal after your friendship ends. One of the most important things to do when you’re letting go of someone you care about, whether it’s your best friend, a close office buddy, or a favorite study pal from school, is to give yourself, and the other person, space to cope with the grief of a lost friendship. You both will need time and space to figure out how to live independently and find new interests and activities.

There are no goodbyes for us. Wherever you are, you will always be in my heart.

— Mahatma Gandhi
The end of a friendship can be painful, but there are things you can do to recover from the pain of losing a close buddy.
The end of a friendship can be painful, but there are things you can do to recover from the pain of losing a close buddy.

With time, you will recover from the pain of losing your friend. It may be hard to reach out to others for awhile; it may be hard to let yourself trust another person; it may be difficult to let your guard down and let new people into your life. But if you want to move on after a friendship comes to an end, you must find new ways to reach out to others.

If you have forgotten how to make new friends, here are a few articles that can help you get back on your feet again.

A Gentle Meditation on Letting Go of a Relationship

Giving up doesn’t always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go.

— Author Unknown

© 2013 Sadie Holloway


Submit a Comment

No comments yet.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)