Being a Good Friend: Quotes About True Friends, Good Friends, and Real Friends
A Quote About Your Friends
The best feeling in the world is knowing you have a small army of friends to combat the world with. Life just feels much more fun when in numbers. From drinking at a bar to dining at the local restaurant downtown, there’s lots of fun things to do. And it never ends there, as every Friday night will be a different one. Even friendships are spontaneous, and we love that.
The funny thing is that it’s common for someone to convince themselves that they walk alone. In fact, this is far from the truth. When we walk forward in life, we don’t just walk in parallel to others, never having intersected another soul. We are constantly intersecting with other people – especially friends – in our lives. To shut out friends from your life by telling yourself that you are alone – you’re cheating yourself out of fulfilling friendships.
Unfortunately, a lot of people don't really try keeping their good friends. For whatever reason, you’re either tired of your friends or you think you need new ones, which is common amongst the teenagers and/or young adults. They move on from their roots and think they’ll be fine without those that have supported their mistakes, their youth, and their problems in a compact fashion.
Sometimes, though, people don’t understand a real friend at all. They’re left soul-searching and wondering where they have gone wrong. In the end, they conclude that life sucks. If this sounds familiar, you can relate to the whole general population of people. This has got to have come to the minds of every person at least once.
Also, we’re going to dive deep into the roots of friendship, as it’s common in the United States to want to call everyone you meet your new friend. If you’re curious to find out what of it, allow me to quote you more on friendship and understanding your friends on a deeper level.
A Quote on Finding Out Who’s a Friend and Who Isn’t
An Acquaintance is Nothing More Than a Construct
Interestingly, throughout our lives, we run into all sorts of people that we try to consider our friends. This, of course, is where it’s easy to go wrong. We start to confuse the difference between an acquaintance and a friend. Of course, some may argue an acquaintance is nothing but a man-made construct of a person that you don’t want to have an immediate intimate friendship with. Meaning, an acquaintance isn’t someone that you’ll break a leg for.
What is an acquaintance and how could you define one? An acquaintance is basically someone you don't know much about. You are merely acquainted, as many will call it, and don't consider this type of person a close friend. Regardless of how you’ve met this person, you keep your distance at an emotional level, and for obvious reasons. Some people like to skip this stage, as it feels nothing more than just a social construct and not an actual stage in a social setting.
Differentiating an acquaintance from a real friend is the first step in understanding what a good friend is and isn't. Believe it or not, not all friends are close enough to you to be considered actual friends. Yes, I’m pointing fingers to that one person in your life that sticks around until the end but doesn't add essence into the friendship or your quality of life. You can call them acquaintances if you want, but we’ll leave that up to you.
In order to help you identify a true friend in your list of questionable friends, you need a plan. For example, you don't want to adhere to 'good friend' standards and compare it directly to your subject friend of your choice without first understanding the circumstances behind why he or she does what she does. That’s just not fair.
However, if you have found a friend in question that may be fake and you weren’t close to this person to begin with, you might have a case for the supreme court.
Keep things reasonable, however, as it’s important in noting how you’ve met the person. If you've met this friend of yours in the library, for example, you may be merely acquainted and should be careful about labeling that person a new friend, but for the sake of being respectful, it's fine to call each other friends. Just don't feed yourself misconceptions, as this might lead to hurt later.
What I find more interesting than the acquaintance construct itself is how even friends are constructs. It just so happens that having a friend feels as natural to you as eating a piece of cake. And, though the nature of a construct, it fits so perfectly into our lives – having friends – that it’s just a norm to call even the people you have just met – friends.
You Control Your Friendships
Above it all, you have the right to believe whatever you want. If you have just met a person and this person is now an acquaintance, that’s fine. If this newly met person is now a friend, that’s fine too. The way you feel about someone is entirely a personal feeling. Just like many people, you either feel good about them or you don’t feel that great about them at all. That is normal to me.
Embarrassing, but I used to get bullied in grade school by a kid that thought he was hard as hell. Luckily for me, I had a lot of people around me that were my same age – friends – that picked me from the dirt playground and backed me up right until the end. Even though they were too afraid to get into conflict, they didn’t mind getting a little dirty for me. That is the type of friendship I have treasured in my heart since I was a kid.
Friend's aren't forever. They come and go. You shouldn't worry about having too many friends.
— Everybody and anybody
A Quote on What Makes a Good Friend
Whether it’s being there for you, making you food, or simply scratching your back, there are many reasons for you to have a good friend. But what exactly makes a good friend good?
Your Friend is Always There for You
I like good friends, and let's be honest. You like good friends, too. Because, without a good friend, life isn’t the same. Your coffee meeting with yourself at Starbucks just isn’t the same. It’s too quiet and far too plain.
No matter what happens, your friend will always be there for you. Seriously, no matter what happens. You could be having a bad hair day or dumpster diving for a midnight snack. They are still there for you. In fact, my friends have saved me from a lot of scenarios where I could have been worse off. But I’ll save the specifics for another time.
Your Friend Cares
It’s enough to find out the complexity of issues that our friends have, just like our own. But, to think that there are some friends that are so emotionally detached from us that they seem almost inhuman to us.
But there are times where we are giving up on friendship but then we are, yet again, proven wrong.
Your Friend Cares Enough to Help You Up
Whether you have fallen in a hole or are in a crisis, a friend will usually help you get back on your feet. Think of that one time when you really needed one of your friends the most. Chances are, they probably helped you out when you needed the help. You've found yourself a candidate for a great friend.
I've met a lot of people in my time and I have befriended many of them. In different sizes and forms, they came into my life with knowledge of their own. Interesting people, they were. They knew about a lot of things that I didn’t know about. These people, I learned to be friends with. And I learned to be there for them. When you’re there for them, and you treat them well, they will be there for you. And that’s the beauty of friendship. After all, when I needed something – whether it was emotional support, advice – these so-called friends were there for me. I received the support that I needed. If I dug myself into a hole, they would get me out of it.
It’s friends like these that lift quality of life. Their good charisma enlightens you. Their character and form of speaking to you makes you feel like a part of a team. They leave you with more than enough courage, knowledge, and assisted outcomes to continue with your daily routine. You can’t help but to be happy that you had a friend like him or her. Without your friends, you would struggle even just a little.
What’s interesting to me is that although I’ve had friends be there for me when I needed them, they couldn’t always go out of their way for me. And that's okay. You can’t force your friends to be there for you always. After all, they have their own lives to deal with and micromanage.
Of course, if your friends are human, even they will have this thing where they must pick their own battles that they are willing to fight for. You don’t always have to be the center of their attention, per say. You may be for the time being that you and your beloved friends have met once again in public, whether it’s random or by chance. But, behind the scenes, you and your beloved friend, yet again, must get back to the daily routines so personal that we just must call it life. In a sense, you understand just what exactly your friends are dealing with, so much that you begin to understand the circumstances that lead them to not be there for you at times. But that’s OK, as you, as a human being, understand shit happens. At the end of the day, they’re still your friend.
Your Friend Cares Enough to Take Care of You
A friend that takes care of you because he/she cares about you is a keeper.
You can never go wrong with a friend that deeply cares about you. After all, what do you have to lose for having someone so caring in your life? It’s a blessing, as some may debate life is too short. With that said, we must choose what we do wisely. For a friend to care so much for you as to give up other things, that’s something worth being thankful for.
Your Friend Cares on a Deeper Level
It is debatable to say whether a friend like this is someone to consider as a long-term companion. Everyone’s circumstances are different, and not everyone will have the same perspective of what is appropriate. But, nonetheless, most relationships are born from friendships. And this, my friend, is the sign you’ve been waiting for.
However, this isn't always the case, and it's always recommended to gauge that yourself, obviously. It’s your life, and I must give you back your full control in understanding just when someone’s being friendly or something more. Either way, who doesn’t like being taken care of?
Your Friend is Unconditional
What does it mean to you to be unconditional? Does it mean dropping expectations? Or how about realizing what the right thing to do is?
Being unconditional means not having explicit expectations of you. When things get tough, the unconditional starts to erupt into the surface. When you have an unconditional friend, they don’t care what you do. They don’t care that you are drunk on the sidewalk, unable to get up. They understand, because they’re your friend. And that’s just about enough for them, really. After all, they’re unconditional friends of yours that will stand by your side no matter what.
I have had many friendships that were far too conditional, and they almost never worked out.
Living with Conditions
The thing about a conditional friendship is it’s severely oriented toward conditions being met. Perhaps your friend likes that you fix his or her car. Or, even more practical, your friend likes having you around for either personal gain or for other non-specified reasons. When these conditions are broken, the friendship is theoretically broken as well. A complete disaster, if you ask me.
For instance, I once joined a band in high school and decided to drop out of it due to personal reasons. What I thought were friends of mine quickly ended up as strangers. They turned their backs against me, and it was unclear to me at first. However, after careful theorizing and analysis, these so-called bandmates/friends were nothing but conditional friends. Or, more devastatingly, closely related to the explicit connotation of the acquaintance construct.
As you can see, it’s easy to confuse right from wrong. So, is it increasingly difficult to differentiate a real friend from an acquaintance, or from a fake? Nowadays, as previously mentioned, even friendship is starting to feel like a construct. Our social lives are hacked, and we need to do something about that in order to save our personal – and social – lives from increased confusion.
Though, stick to unconditional friends and save yourself the headache. You’ll wish you had listened to this advice sooner.
Your Friend Offers You Food to Eat When You Don't Have Money
You know, you shouldn’t be the type of person to put yourself in a situation where you can’t fend for yourself. But shit happens. Perhaps there will be a day where you forget your wallet while out trying to eat or your car breaks down and you’re stranded in the middle of nowhere.
Good friends help their friends. They help take care of each other in dire times, and one of the most delicious of occasions is when they pay for your food.
When your friend pays for your food, you know this person is a true friend. After all, your friend trusts you. You are trustworthy to this person.
Bad friends know how to distrust you. They won't buy you food when you’re starving – without money – and obviously in peril. They won't feed you when they know they can, especially when things are going against you. It’s normal for them to have expectations of you being responsible enough to carry your wallet around, but shit happens, and they should know that. However, this type of ideal won’t click in the head of a bad friend. Someone that doesn’t really care what happens to you.
You know, I once went to a friendly gathering while attending college full-time. These were one of the most financially challenging days of my life. I had literally no money on me and was only there for the jokes, giggles, and good times. It ended up that the whole crew decided they were hungry and was going to meet up at a restaurant to eat spicy chicken wings. They knew I was broke, so they all pitched in. They got me food, and I fed them all the next time that I had money. It means a lot to have friends like this.
If your friend helps you and you're also a good friend, you’ll be able to repay them back with the same intentions they had for you.
Speaking of intentions, friends don’t expect friends to pay back. They may know you’re trustworthy, but that’s only because they’re your friend. It’s borderline-unconditional, which is awesome. Such a donation to a charitable cause – you – should be met equally or greatly, so show your increased interest in making your appreciation known.
Your Friend Listens to You
You know, I like a friend that truly listens even though what you have to say isn't exactly the most appealing topic. I know of some friends that talk about movies all day. Interestingly, I also know of a few friends that can talk about video games forever. Whichever your topic of interest, your good friend will listen.
With that said, your friend must be interested in talking to you in order to fully listen to you. There are a few moments where it’s hard for a friend to listen to you.
When Your Friend is Not Listening
Your friend is playing video games. Who can’t resist a couple of games of Fortnight mid-conversation? Perhaps your friend is making eye contact with you but so is he contacting his game!
Your Friend is Checking on the Phone. If too frequently, this is a sign that something is either going on under the hood, your friend found something rather more interesting, or you’re just plain boring. Ouch.
Looking around. This one doesn’t usually happen, but I want to mention this since I had a friend that used to do this. It’s sort of a feeling of guilt or embarrassment – or, even social anxiety and/or public obsession – that leads a friend to behave like this. Regardless, your friend is going to have a hard time listening to you in the shape that he/she is.
It’s nice to be listened to by a friend. It’s even worse to know that person isn’t listening at all. Regardless, appreciate what you are given. Because, just like in life, shit happens.
Your Friend Has an Open Mind—or Not.
Being a stubborn friend is a recipe for disaster. Not only will things not go your way, but you’ll also block out communication from the outside world. Messages will not get into your head – simply because you chose to be stubborn about it all.
The thing about stubborn people is they truly don’t care about what others have to say unless they’re willing to lower their personal standards, walls, and respect the comments and suggestions of others around them. Of course, when a stubborn person doesn’t want to admit something that may harm their feelings, it also makes them seem stubborn.
Stubborn friends would rather stick to what they do best instead of walking out of their own bubble.
Here’s a quick story for you: I had one friend that is a gamer. Whenever I come over to his house to hang out, he is either playing video games or he is sleeping. It becomes increasingly awkward because it doesn't seem like he wants to get out or do much. Unfortunately, he doesn't like going out too much, though I know he is an outgoing guy. I don't know if I'm doing something wrong or if he is just too conformed to his own lifestyle. However, even after confronting him about it, he sees nothing wrong with it.
It’s perfectly OK if you choose to be at home all day, lounging. I personally believe there’s nothing wrong with that. My only problem is with a stubborn person that continues to succumb in fear and anxiety at the first sight of oppression.
It’s also implied that stubborn people have a reason for being stubborn. Perhaps they’re trying to protect themselves or to protect the gold mine found within themselves. I see this as a reasonable reason to feel entitled to being stubborn about certain things.
Open-minded friends are amazing. You shouldn’t take them for granted, as they are open to sharing new experiences and perspectives. They are malleable friends that like a challenge. When things get rough, they conform to the new demands and roadblocks to get over it. Or, in the simplest way, they are willing to try new things.
Your Friend Points Out Your Mistakes Without Penalty
If you have lost friends in the past, you know how disheartening this may be. It’s discouraging to know your friend just isn’t interested in a friendship. Or, perhaps you feel backstabbed from all the times your buddy slashed at you.
You shouldn’t have a friend who wants to penalize you. They could have helped you improve with constructive criticism, but sometimes they don’t do just that. For example, if you smell bad, you smell bad. Big deal, right? It's something you can improve on, and no good friend should be penalizing you for smelling like a dirty sock.
You need a friend that isn’t afraid to tell you the truth. "You kind of smell, man. When’s the last time you’ve used deodorant," a friend could say.
When a true friend criticizes you, their message isn’t to harm you. That’s far from the truth. They are there to guide you and to express their own feelings and perspectives on why you need to further improve. Without guidance, you may be led to make further mistakes that could cost you opportunities down the road.
An even better friend is someone who both criticizes you and goes above and beyond to guide you to the right solutions. This could mean taking a trip together to get your nails done. Or, perhaps showing you to a good barber or cosmetologist. Your friend will want to get you to the right hands or guide you to the right path.
Understand that a friendship is just that: a friendship. You’re not in a long-term relationship. You’re not in a boxing ring, trying to swing at your opponent or block the next punch. Where you are is increasingly simple.
You’re in a mutually beneficial friendship. Friends benefit from each other when they critique each other. It’s better than showing your mistakes to your next internship or job interview. It’s also even better than showing your next date how truly bad you smell or how little you brush your teeth. It’s having others constantly beat on your craft in order to be ready to make a bigger, better impression when it truly matters. With that said, keep people like this around you, no matter what.
Friends, No Matter What
No matter what happens, he/she will always be your friend.
Even if the terrains change, the wind pushes me out to a different country, you change, I change, our lives change, or even our circumstances of lifestyle change, I will always be your friend.
When we’re feeling alone, they bring us warmth and comfort. When it’s dark in your room, a visit flames the candles. When times are tough, a warm shoulder alleviates your aches and pains. When your friend is there for you, you don’t feel alone anymore.
When we’re hungry, they are happy to eat something together with you. It doesn’t matter if it’s 2 AM and everyone in the house is asleep. You’re starving, and so if your friend. You’re both willing to go on that deep, late-night adventure to a fast-food restaurant to get some food. Or, you both want to go late-night to Walmart to get some late-night munchies – even at the cost of feeling even a little sick from the junk food.
They message you more often than sometimes. With this said, your friends have lives, too. What they also have is social needs and other people in their lives – family, friends, colleagues, and perhaps even a partner. When your friend messages you occasionally, trust that this person has you high in the rankings.
Whatever the situation, appreciate your friend. I'm sure you treasure your true friends.
Life is just way too beautiful to tread alone. These friends have realized it, and they are here with you. These are the keepers.
If they're willing to stick with you until the end unconditionally, and only with the purpose of being your friend and having a good time, they will become one of your best friends. In fact, this is how best friends are born. You find this connection that you both shares. And you just can’t stop talking about a lot of things with each other. If you happen to have found someone like this, you have probably found yourself a good friend with the potential for a long-lasting friendship. Period.
Are you an unconditional friend?
Are you a good friend?
Questions & Answers
© 2017 Fernando Gonzalez