Brandy, like most people, is on social media on a daily basis and wonders how it is affecting day-to-day life.
1. Politics, Religion, Sex, and Money
The saying goes that it's impolite to talk about politics, religion, sex, and money in polite company and a lot of people still go by this as outdated as it may seem to some. Some people are okay with mentioning all of these things as long as they align with their own views of those things. In the past, a person could go through their whole lives without knowing what everyone thinks about politics. Now it is possible to friend the seemingly sweet and quiet lady at work only to find out she is a raging racist.
If you are okay with being unfriended based on your opinion on hot button topics, type and share away! The only way to avoid this one is to never share a viewpoint ever and that is boring. So be you and share what you are comfortable sharing. Unless you are a racist, then you are a jerk and you are lucky anyone who doesn't share your views even messes with you.
2. You Were the "Victim" of a Mass Unfriending
I haven't done this before but it seems to be popular to scroll through your list of friends and unfriend or unfollow people you haven't talked to in a while or will probably never see again. I was once unfriended and I checked on the person's timeline to figure out what happened. At the top of her page, she posted that she just unfriended a bunch of people and they probably didn't even notice. The post in question was old so she had a good point because it took me a while to even notice she was gone.
3. You Did Something That Rubbed Them the Wrong Way
Some people are not comfortable confronting people about things they might have done to upset them. They would prefer to handle it by distancing themselves from you in the cyber world. If this person is a family member or close friend and you have no idea what you've done take a minute to think things through. Is this person easily offended or do you feel like you walk on eggshells all the time when you are around them? if you know them well enough, you know the answers to these questions and maybe it would be a good idea to distance yourself from this person for a while and maybe they'll come around and let you know what the problem was. If it really bothers you and you know the person well enough maybe talking to them in the real world would be the best solution
4. The Unfriender Moved Away or Switched Jobs and Doesn't Want Any Baggage
Sometimes people like making a clean break socially when they leave a place or a job that maybe they weren't happy with. Maybe they were not in a good place when you knew then and you remind them of that. It is hard to not take it personally but ask yourself honestly if their absence from your life is really going to affect you long term or if you if your ego is just a little dented.
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Personally, I worked with someone who was not well-liked. Most people ignored this person but I would open my big mouth and try to argue. I thought I was hiding my dislike for this person but I was very wrong. As soon as I left my job I was unfriended by the office nuisance. I guess I need to work on hiding my annoyed face.
5. You Didn't Buy What They Were Selling
Social media is great for self-promotion. I'm going to be bold here and say most of what we post on social media is self-promotion; however, where it gets a little difficult is when someone actually wants us to buy something with real money. This is probably a familiar story to several of you but a few years ago an old acquaintance from high school friended me on social media. She was very friendly and I was happy and surprised that she seemed to think a lot of me. This was a few years back before so many people sold things on social media. I noticed she was selling something but I wasn't interested in buying anything that she was selling. I would comment on some of her non-business related posts but one day I notice she commented on the post of a friend we had in common. I hadn’t heard from her in a while so I clicked on her profile and noticed we were no longer friends. Since her account was all about what she was selling I figured I was out because I was not buying what she was selling. It's too bad but she makes a good living from what she sells and she is a very determined and successful person so she probably doesn't have time for people who aren't buying what she is selling. This is something that shouldn't be taken personally because whole businesses are built on using personal relationships to sell goods. This person has a family to feed and I am sure she didn’t even give me a second thought. The truth of the matter is, we weren’t that close to begin with and this was my first experience with people selling things through social media. I learned my lesson and now I don’t put too much stock in the friendships that start off with a sales pitch.
Of course the opposite could happen where you were unfriended because people didn't want to buy what you were selling. Give this person some slack and maybe just put them on ignore for a while. It's hard to make a living selling things online and they are at least trying.
6. You Complain or Brag Too Much
Not complaining too much or not bragging too much is a bit of a tightrope walk. The bad thing about both is, they are both in the eye of the beholder, especially bragging. Like I said before I think most social media is self-promotion, so it can be seen as bragging if you are always posting about trips you go on or great things that happen to you. So if you stop doing that and you start talking about some of the not-so-great things that happen to you, you might be seen as a complainer. If you feel like you aren't blatantly bragging or complaining constantly and begging for attention, you are probably okay. Some people might see you as a bragger or a complainer but it might just be their problem. Maybe they just don't like you very much for some reason and so everything you do annoys them. This isn't the kind of friend you want. If they really like you, they will either be happy for you or concerned for you. If you are a bragger or a complainer and you own it, your friends who really know and love you won't mind.
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.
— Bernard Baruch
Deleted on Social Media? Here's the Reason Why It's Okay
I recently read that people unfriend people for posting too much about their pets and children and I was wondering what else is there in life? If you look at most lists like these you basically can get unfriended for almost anything. People are getting easily offended since we live in such a fast-paced society and it's easy for people to throw someone away over something small. In most people’s lives we feel like we have no power at all but we do have power on social media. Keyboard courage allows us to behave in ways we would never behave to people’s faces. Can you imagine going up to someone and telling them you do not want to see their cat photos anymore so you are not going to be their friend anymore? Sounds silly when it is put that way.
Some people do not take the online world as seriously as others and their unfriending does not mean you are unworthy of love and friendship. If an unfriending bothers you too much talk to someone close to you to get to the root of what it is bothering you so much. In theory, you do not want to be friends with someone that you are always afraid of losing. If you offended them once you are probably going to offend them again. It is just no way to live life wondering when you're going to offend someone and lose their friendship. Friendship should be 50/50 and should not be that hard. You might not be that person’s cup of tea and instead of wasting time trying to please people who don’t recognize what you have to offer as a friend, spend some time looking for new friends who get you and appreciate you.
Have you ever let social media affect your real life? Have you been unfriended and did it hurt your feelings? Let's discuss it in the comments section below!
© 2019 Brandy McGhee Nelson