Fake Friends Vs. Real Friends: 12 Ways to Spot a Two-Faced Faker

Updated on September 22, 2018
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Jorge's relationship advice is based on experience and observation. He's seen many people—including himself—get seduced and hurt by love.

How do you tell a fake friend from a real one?
How do you tell a fake friend from a real one?

The Signs of a Fake Friend Aren't Always Obvious

Sometimes it is very clear that a person doesn't have your best interests at heart, and sometimes a disingenuous person will subtly display their true feelings. It can be challenging to know whether or not one of your friends is actually a frenemy.

Maybe everything in the friendship started out okay, but then you heard that your "friend" was talking about you behind your back. Maybe you always knew that they were kind of manipulative towards other people, but you only recently noticed that they were doing it to you too. Are they a fake friend?

Unfortunately, we live in the kind of world where we'll run into these kinds of people. Don't take it personally when you encounter a fake friend. A person who is fake to you will also be fake to others. It is likely that this person doesn't have any real friends at all, and you're no exception to that.

In borderline cases, it can be hard to tell if someone is a fake friend—especially if they're trying to be fake about the fact that they're fake! Keep in mind that feeling suspicious of a person's sincerity is usually a sign that something is not right. Trust your impressions of a person and remember that you wouldn't be reading this article unless you doubted one or more of your friendships.

12 Signs of a Fake Friend

  1. Your Friendship Is Conditional
  2. Your Friend Acts Differently When You're Around Other People
  3. Fake Friends Will Speak Poorly of You When You're Not Around
  4. Fake Friends Will Stop Talking to You When You Have a Disagreement
  5. Fake Friends Disappear When Someone "More Interesting" Shows Up
  6. Fake Friends Always Seem to Want Something From You
  7. Fake Friends Will Stop Hanging Out With You If You Say "No" to Them
  8. Fake Friends Never Try to Help You Achieve Your Goals
  9. Fake Friends Always Bring You Down
  10. Fake Friends Don't Listen to You
  11. A Fake Friend Sees Your Needs and Wants as a Nuisance
  12. Fake Friends Don't Accept You For Who You Are

1. Your Friendship Is Conditional

The biggest sign that you have a fake friend is that your friendship is extremely conditional. We all have normal boundaries that we don't want people to cross, but conditions are totally different. Boundaries are healthy and they're about the kind of respect a person thinks they deserve. For instance, if you cross a boundary by punching your friend in the face, it's perfectly normal that they would want to stop being friends with you.

On the other hand, conditions are all about standards that they expect you to adhere to, even if it has nothing to do with them. For example, if someone won't be your friend unless you're wealthy, that's a condition. A conditional friendship is when your friend expects you to give them certain things, act a certain way, dress in certain clothes, make a certain amount of money, or follow some other superficial standard before they will associate with you. This kind of relationship has nothing to do with your character and everything to do with appearances. If someone requires you to be anything other than yourself in exchange for a friendship, then that's not a real friendship at all.

2. Your Friend Acts Differently When You're Around Other People

Another obvious sign of a fake friend is if the person treats you differently depending on who is around. Are they nice to you when you're alone, but give you the cold shoulder when others are around? Do they tell you that they like you in private, but keep you at arm's length in public? Even worse, is your friendship some kind of secret?

If so, not only is this extremely immature, but they're definitely not a real friend. Real friends are not ashamed of treating people with kindness, and they certainly won't be afraid to admit that they get along with you.

3. Fake Friends Will Speak Poorly of You When You're Not Around

If someone is your friend, why would they spread rumors and spout B.S. about you behind your back? You might try to rationalize that kind of behavior by assuming your friend does that to everyone, but if they're treating everyone that way then they must not have any real friends. When you genuinely care about someone, you sing their praises to others. You don't try to make them look bad in some misguided attempt to make yourself seem better.

Does your friend treat you differently when you're around others?
Does your friend treat you differently when you're around others?

4. Fake Friends Will Stop Talking to You When You Have a Disagreement

Human beings can easily have differences of opinion. There's no person on this Earth who is exactly like you. Besides, wouldn't it be boring if you agreed with your friends about absolutely everything?

The real test of a friendship happens when you and your friend actually disagree on something. This is especially the case if you disagree about something that one of you passionately believes in. It's times like these when a person shows their true colors.

Does you friend see you as a human being? Or do they see you through the filter of their own opinions only? Do they see you as unworthy or less than human if you disagree with them on X, Y, or Z topic?

If your friend can't handle that you changed religions or political affiliations, they were never a real friend to begin with. They didn't like you for you; they liked you because you agreed with each other about something.

Sometimes the disagreements don't even need to be about anything important like your religion or life philosophy. Sometimes it's simply as stupid as getting into an argument about who owes whom 5 bucks.

5. Fake Friends Disappear When Someone "More Interesting" Shows Up

Part of being in a conditional friendship is that you never know when your "friend" is going to ditch you for somebody else. Fake friends may frequently cancel plans with you at the last minute because someone they like more became available. The problem isn't that they get along with someone else better; the problem is that they have no respect for your time and don't care about disappointing you.

If someone you know doesn't care about your feelings and ditches you as soon as you seem boring, then this is a sign that they're a fake friend. They are just using you for some company, but will jump ship when something "better" comes along.

6. Fake Friends Always Seem to Want Something From You

Do you feel that your friend only hangs around because they want something from you?

This could be anything, really:

  • Money
  • Favors
  • Access to your social circle
  • Sex
  • Career opportunities
  • Free rides to places
  • Free stuff
  • Relief from boredom
  • Relief from loneliness

While these are all things that you can give to a friend simply because you like them, if they are hanging out with you because of these things, then that's a problem.

If someone is "friends" with you for any reason besides the fact that you are who you are, that's a tell-tale sign of a fake friend.

Differences of opinion and even arguments can be normal in friendship. The question is, can your friend let it go or do they stop talking to you?
Differences of opinion and even arguments can be normal in friendship. The question is, can your friend let it go or do they stop talking to you?

7. Fake Friends Will Stop Hanging Out With You If You Say "No" to Them

Of course everyone wants to get their way all the time, but you can't always get exactly what you want. Sometimes we have to make compromises when we're interacting with other people. This doesn't mean you have to change your beliefs about life or anything. It just means friends should be generous about smaller things and practice compromising. For example, if you want to see a movie together, but can't agree on what to watch, real friends are flexible enough to come up with an alternate solution.

If, however, your friend is totally inflexible and is never willing to give up small desires for the sake of the greater friendship, then they are not a very good friend. Fake friends tend to disappear the moment you say no or introduce an agenda that doesn't align with theirs.

8. Fake Friends Never Try to Help You Achieve Your Goals

By "goals," I don't necessarily mean some grand desire of making a million dollars or graduating from an Ivy League school. It really comes down to the everyday stuff. A goal can be as small and mundane as wanting to go to the store to get some popcorn, or as huge as wanting to travel the world.

Does your friend always nudge you a little in the direction of what you want because they know you'll be happier that way? Do they try to make it easier for you to do the things you want, or do they just stand by the sidelines and watch? Worse, do they drag you away from your goals? Good friends can keep you on track and will usually try to help you in small ways, even if they can't do much. They turn into problem solvers for the people around them, and they will certainly do anything they can to avoid being the source of problems.

For example, if one of your goals is to find a good romantic partner, does your friend offer you books on relationships, introduce you to new people, or give you advice based on their experience? Or does your friend ignore what you're doing, change the subject, and even discourage you?

9. Fake Friends Always Bring You Down

This should go without saying, but if your friend insults you or belittles you on the regular, they're probably not a very good friend. It's true that sometimes people grow up with the bad habit of relentlessly teasing people about their insecurities, but if they're genuinely abusive, then obviously they're a fake friend.

The same is true if they bring you down by always dumping their negative feelings on you. If all they ever do is vent about their problems when they're around you, you're probably being used as an emotional punching bag.

Does your friend hang around you for no other reason than the fact that they like you for who you are?
Does your friend hang around you for no other reason than the fact that they like you for who you are?

10. Fake Friends Don't Listen to You

One major sign of a fake friend is that they are extremely egocentric. Everything is about them, so naturally they will only be slightly interested in what you're saying. Do you ever get the feeling that your friend just doesn't listen? Do they tap away on their phone while you're talking, do they change the subject, or do they just seem bored until you start talking about something directly related to them?

Another way that you can tell that someone doesn't care about what you have to say is if they never reference something that you said in the past. They rarely say things like, "I made these cookies without peanuts because I remember you mentioned you were allergic," or "Let's go see that zombie movie because I remember you said you like horror."

This is different from someone who is just forgetful every once in awhile. A fake friend never absorbs what you said in the first place, so they have no way of remembering. More importantly, they just don't care, so they will rarely if ever mention things that you told them in the past.

A real friend listens to what you say. They make note of the important stuff without even thinking about it, and they'll naturally bring it up later when it's relevant. This should be effortless for a real friend because they should actually care about you. You also won't have to fight to be heard or to keep them from changing the subject constantly.

11. A Fake Friend Sees Your Needs and Wants as a Nuisance

Does your friend guilt trip you or seem hesitant every time you want something? Do they dismiss your needs and treat them as secondary to their own? Does it always seem like the things you want are optional and unnecessary, but the things that your friend wants are always justified?

Fake friends don't take your needs seriously. Since your needs are not critical to their agenda, fulfilling them is at most a "payment" that they have to make to get what they want from you. Ideally, they would never address your needs or wants at all, since they are mostly a nuisance. For a real friend, fulfilling the needs and wants of both people in the relationship is part of the fun. Giving and receiving are equally important.

12. Fake Friends Don't Accept You For Who You Are

Finally, one of the most obvious signs of a fake friend is if this "friend" treats you differently when you change something about yourself. This really just means that the person doesn't accept you for who you are deep inside, they only accept you if you fit in with what they think you should be to them.

A real friend will stick by you if you get rejected from your first choice of university, if you choose an embarrassing career, if you get married to the wrong person, or if you get divorced after decades (or minutes) of marriage. Real friends will continue to be your friends without judgement, because your path is your own and you need to be who you are. If you made a major life change and they don't approve to the point that they've started ignoring you, consider it a bullet dodged.

Real friends accept you for exactly who you are.
Real friends accept you for exactly who you are.

Are You a Fake Friend?

While it's important to assess your friends' actions to determine whether or not they're good companions, it is also important to honestly reflect on your own actions. Sometimes we can think of ourselves as good people without sincerely examining how we treat others. It's important to have genuine friends and to be a good friend too. This Bustle article covers a number of ways to recognize and correct our own toxic behaviors.

What's the Difference Between a Real Friend and a Fake Friend?

Lots of people who have gone broke or lost their good health will tell you that they found out who their "real friends" were after their misfortune. Fake friends don't stick around when you have nothing left except for yourself. It's because they didn't want you; they wanted something you had.

In that sense, whether someone is a real or fake friend has little to do with how well you get along with them or how long you've known the person. Many times people who you might not even consider to be that close to you can come out of nowhere and help you in times of crisis, while someone who you've known your whole life can abandon you.

This is because what makes a real friend or a fake friend has less to do with your friendship and more to do with a person's character. A person who is fake will be a fake friend to everyone. A person who is kind, generous, and trustworthy will be that way even to strangers.

When someone you know goes on and on about how they won't be nice or respectful to someone unless they've "earned" it, be careful around them. Be especially suspicious if they expect some kind of loyalty from you simply because they associate with you. This person could easily be a fake friend.

Good friends are good to everyone. When you are a good person, it truly shows.

Is there some kind of foolproof universal test for a fake friend that you can use before you get to know someone, though? Unfortunately not really; you'll just have to figure that out on your own over time. (Or you could post this article on Facebook and see if it makes them realize they're a fake friend! Probably not, though.)

Your Experiences With Fake Friends

Have you ever had a fake friend?

See results

Questions & Answers

  • Why is it that I introduce my friends to other friends so we can all be friends, they make plans without me? I noticed that they never bring their other friends around, and just keep them to themselves.

    There could be a number of reasons why they excluded you, but they're probably not important reasons. It's just time to find some new friends.

  • Is my friend fake if they bully me in public?

    Yeah, that doesn't sound like a friend to me.

  • How do I find a real friend who would actually respect me and listen to my problems?

    Well, often, "the universe" gives us what we tolerate, what we think we deserve. So the key I think is to have higher standards for who we allow in our lives--and if this means being alone sometimes, then it means being alone.

  • I keep meeting new people that want to take advantage of my kind nature. How can I give them the message quickly I don't tolerate "users"?

    You can still be a kind person and also have boundaries. You need to enforce those boundaries consistently--and if someone crosses the line, be ready to tell them "no."

    Users leave when you tell them "no." So it's a problem that kind of takes care of itself. Real friends will stick around even after to enforce boundaries.

  • I told someone something about my friend, but it wasn’t rude, it was just a bit personal. Does that count as being fake?

    It's not about being fake or not being fake. If someone tells you something personal, it's not a good idea to gossip about it to someone else. If your friend finds out when word gets around, they'll probably think twice before trusting you again.

© 2017 Jorge Vamos

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    • profile image

      none 

      9 hours ago

      my friend called me something and she put it under my b-day what does that mean

    • profile image

      nathan padlan 

      7 days ago

      great hub, i have the same problem in my school like whenever i approach my freinds they just avoid me plus they always bring me down thanks for this i needed it :)

    • profile image

      Vicki 

      10 days ago

      Great Hub! I have been dealing with fake people for quite some time now!! What makes things bad also is when you have a fake coworker lol. This one girl at work can't wait for one of us to leave, so she can tell the other all the latest gossip about her or talk about her in a negative way.

      Another part that hit home to me was when you said you can also tell a fake friend when they have something else better to do. I have a "friend" who would always make plans with me, and then break them THAT DAY and try to reschedule with me! This last time I told her dont worry about it. Im tired of it.

      And finally, another thing that really caught my eye in this hub was your reference on when fake friends dont listen to you. That is so true! I am going through a really bad time in my life currently, and it really got me depressed because when I talk, no one listens. They are busy scrolling on their phone and listening to bits and pieces because someone else is more important than what I am saying. So I just keep to myself because honestly, no one cares. It is always about themselves. When you come across a person who gives a crap and someone who not only hears what you have to say, but listens as well..its like hang onto them because not too many people care about others these days.

      I really enjoyed reading this!

    • profile image

      New friends suck 

      13 days ago

      When i came to a new school, everyone was nice and sweet. Some of them just talk to me when they need help in math while others only when i get snacks or candies.Some of them are nice and talk to me daily and some chose to be with me most of the time saying that i am "funny" and "smart".

      The people who chose to be with me most of the time were nice to me and we became friends (not BFFS) we were going pretty good until before yesterday, I heard them talking trash about me. I asked one of them, what were you saying about me(hoping i misunderstood) she said "I didn't say anything, ask them" which made me pretty sure they were talking about me. For today, when i came out for recess and found them in a corner. I went to hand with them. When i arrived, obe told me "They were talking about you" i replied immediatly "I don't care" and left quickly. To be honest,I really cared and it hurted my feelings. After a while, When they saw me mad and sad, they started creating fake stuff about how they just pranked me or wanted me to leave. I wanted to believe them but then i remembered that before yesterday i heard them with my own ears. For now, I don't talk to them normally and I am pretty mad when I am around them.

      THE END

    • profile image

      Chloe 

      2 weeks ago

      my friend just told me she doesn't like me and she belittles me so i told her i don't want to be friends

    • profile image

      trinity mccormick 

      2 weeks ago

      Nina i know exactly what your going through im going through the same stuff i want to stand up to my " friend" but shes bigger than me and im scared she will jump me and i really need help on how to get rid of her so she wont use me for stuff any more

    • profile image

      Nina 

      7 weeks ago

      This is exactly what it’s like with my so called, “friend” and I. She always copies off my work and blackmails me saying if you don’t do this I’ll do this. She also always comments on my hair and how my makeup’s ugly and she always leaves me to talk to her other friends. She also always makes fun of me in front of others and sends embarrassing pictures of me to her friends.

    • profile image

      William Sithole 

      8 weeks ago

      Thanx for the article its really helpful , im prolly gonna scratch a lot of pipo out of my life

    • profile image

      Anonyme 

      2 months ago

      People usually don't like hanging out with me because I'm not talkative and sorta boring. Which is quite annoying since they leave me before even getting to know me. I was never able to keep friends because of this and it's sad to say that this is the society we live in and unless you're really fun to be with, people won't stick with you. Lately, I have been hanging out with 2 friends. They only talk to me or wait for me after the bell unless we talked a lot during the day. Or else, they just ignore me. They invited me to hang out with them tomorrow in town and I'm more than sure I'm just going to stick to them like a tail and be the ultimate third wheel.

    • profile image

      AnONYMOUS 

      2 months ago

      look, I usually don't like this type of bullshit on being fake or being real but believe me, I DON'T THINK I have any sort of friend to call fake. I'm a loner and I don't effing care about the people around me for the simple reason that they had me betrayed, backstabbed so many times that I have lost count. I'm not bitter or anything, nor am I a vengeful person but I've tried to fit in a numerous times and got hurt really hard. So yeah, my advice is, if you're surrounded by fake people who have the nerve to call themselves 'friends' it's better to walk alone and mind your own business. It will save you from a lot of unwanted pain.

    • profile image

      Anonymous 

      2 months ago

      I read a lot of people's comments and I have found that I share similar experiences with them. I was friends with this girl for 7 YEARS. 7 YEARS. What a waste that was. Well, anyway I new her since about Kindergarten and I was always there for her when she needed it. Up until about Elementary School she changed and started to become dirty minded saying all these kinds of nasty stuff that were very inappropriate. By the time we hit Middle School she completely changed. She started showing of her body and wearing tight and short clothes. At the time I made some new friends. She decided it was alright to go and talk smack out the side of her face about me and my friends to the point were it turned into bullying. She even took it so far that a few friends of mine were going to fight her, but I told them not to cause she ain't worth the time nor effort. Eventually, it all stopped but I had her in my Tech class. So she has the guts to come to me about a few months into school and tell me how we don't talk anymore. Like Bitch No!!! You talked mad shit about me and my friends non-stop. Don't expect a special invitation with your name on it saying we friends again. NOT HAPPENING! SORRY. It took me a while to understand that she was fake and had no interest in me anymore. It just bothers me that I wasted 7 years of my life being friends with her when I could have been friends with someone else and I bet that friendship would have lasted way longer than what me and her had. To this day she tries to talk to me like were friends yet she knows were not. It took me so long to see her true colors because I didn't want to admit that she was fake, but people like to use me because I'm a nice person. Only until I hit my breaking point do they really know how angry and sassy I can get.

    • profile image

      Dylan 

      2 months ago

      Oh hey I got one how about they have “other plans” whenever you want to hangout with them

      Long Story Short

      I invited this person to my graduation party and she showed up and all

      She invited me to her birthday and I showed up

      At the end of it all I asked her if we can hangout for the summer and she said “of course we can hangout this summer” and I keep on asking her can we hang? The answers were always “no” (because bullshit excuses) it’s fall and as you guess WE DIDNT FUCKING HANGOUT AT ALL

      I MEAN IS SHE TRYING TO BURN BRIDGES WITH ME? IS SHE A SIGN OF A FAKE FRIEND? or IS SHE TRYIN TO PISS ME THE FUCK OFF?

      I’m not gonna give out any names but if they see this I just want them to know that you did a really good job at burning bridges with me

      I really don’t care anymore

    • profile image

      Anonymous #461 

      2 months ago

      Here's my story:

      In the first day of College,

      My first sitting place was to be with someone. After an hour in school, i found a group of friends whom i thought i could trust with.

      So, i left my first sitting place with someone i still don't know. Then joined the group of friend's sitting arrangement. I thought i could trust them, in the first months of school year from June to Sept. we get to eat and walk together as a group of friends. But, for so long i thought i could trust them with anything but never knew they've the ones who'd drag me and put me down.

      So, the person whom i sat with in the first day of school. Is the person whom i'd never thought it could be the real person! We did once chat about something not important i'd never knew she could be my real friend. She was always honest to me. She always knew what problems i could've been facing by just looking at my face. And her group of friends is the one i've left on my first day at school never thought could be the ones that are so real to me. I felt so bad that i get to chose my fakr friends rather than the real ones.

      This time:

      I could change my relationship to my fake friends and neither to talk to them more or get close to them. And i will once face myself to my real friends.

      What if:

      What if actually the day i get to chose my friends, i could've picked my real friends and never left my sit in the first place and never went to the group of "fake" friends.

      Lesson Learned:

      You never get to choose your friends, they chose you.

    • profile image

      Sean Kyle 

      2 months ago

      I had that "Circle" of friends in my first months in my 1st Year College.

      I thought at 1st i can trust them with everything. Also, they're the ones i always approach. But, they're some classmates whom always to approach me(which is my real friends) which i never get to approach them myself. After several months after knowing and getting together with my fake friends i never knew they were "Fake" until they let me down and i read this post. Thank you for coming up this post. I'm terribly sorry for my real friends whom i never approach myself or talk to.

      I Need Advice:

      How can i change my relationship to my fake friends and let them know i'm not in to them anymore?

    • profile image

      boop44us@yahoo.com 

      3 months ago

      Invited to his house but he's always on his phone and doesn't talk to me face to face it's always a way

    • profile image

      Mariah 

      3 months ago

      i have some realy good friends and some not as close. but i have noticed a few of them trying to makwe me sound bad and saying it to my face.i have also noticed when a friend gets sad or angry they ignore me even if i was'nt part of what made my friend sad or angy i have no clue why this is happening are they using me. maybe to use up there time when they have nothing better to do

    • profile image

      Jaylaa 

      3 months ago

      Trust gets u kill

    • thehands profile imageAUTHOR

      Jorge Vamos 

      3 months ago

      Thank you, Lucy!

    • hallucinogen profile image

      Lucy 

      3 months ago from Leeds, UK

      I just wanted to say that all of your articles are extremely well-written, thought-provoking and emotionally astute. Keep them coming!

    • profile image

      Lauren 

      4 months ago

      Well Jorge I had to end the friendship with a guy he didn't make time for me at all he wasn't there when I needed him in person except maybe two times he's also not the guy I knew since he started dating his girlfriend which is the reason he was hardly around so I just did what I had to do yes he fought it tooth and nail but I ended the friendship with him nonetheless honestly he kinda turned into a jerk which is sad he used to be so sweet

    • profile image

      Alex 

      4 months ago

      I think I have a fake friend, he always discourages me or need something from me, he keeps me away from my goals, practically bullies me. I'm scared of ending the friendship cause If I do he'll still probably make fun of me daily since we go to the same school.

      Not to mention his friend is literally everybody for some reason and I'm just there. He was nice when we were younger but now he's just a jerk.

      I'm also scared of ending the friendship because, I worked so hard on it and put so much effort into and I don't want it to end. but at the same time I do!

    • profile image

      User 

      4 months ago

      I once had a fake freind in secondary high school. He was mostly around me and he even called me 'best freind'he used to ask me money all the time and i used to give him because i didnt new he was fake. One day, our school held

      a program called 'talent show'. He participated in it and stood third in dance and second in singing. Then he became the star of the school. We used to stay on the first bench but when he was famous then he changed his seat and sat at the back bench with his fans. When I would go to talk to him then he would not talk with me like before. He used to talk with me with disinterest. When we reached college level then he would still talk with me but only when he needed me. Oneday I was angry at him when he asked and took the money. I told my mom about it and she immediately told my freind's mom about it. He returned my miney and seemed relly angry.From that day he has never came to visit me. One day when we met in the street then I called him over my house but he denied. Now its so long he hasn't talked with me.

    • profile image

      Lauren 

      4 months ago

      I had a fake friend named Dominic he got into a serious relationship and started acting like he was married he only texted me when something bad happened and he sure didn't you know skip a day with his girlfriend he always had an excuse for why he couldn't hang out or see me very much so I ended the friendship with him

    • profile image

      R-A-S-BOY 

      4 months ago

      I really don't know why people continue doing that, this makes me so sad, I guess some people do this just for fun. But I'm done... I don't trust anyone, my real friend is myself

    • profile image

      kat 

      5 months ago

      i know my friend for over 13 years now and we are still really close, but for one year or even more idk i realized that we couldn’t be that close....

      she insults me, she doesn’t listen and always talks about herself, she even started to ditch me for example today we were supposed to meet at her house and i just reached her house when she called me and said another friend just came i should go by myself i was so upset but she didn’t even realized it.

      it makes me so angry when i think of all the things she did to me but on the other hand i know i have some real friends and i can rely on them so i always tell myself “hey you don’t have to hang out with her all the time so it’s okay”

      but idk maybe i’ll try and stay away from her for a little...

    • profile image

      Lauren 

      5 months ago

      Well my fake friend he will only text but he never makes time to hang out with me sure he's in medical school has two jobs and a girlfriend he makes time for his girlfriend but not me he left town when I was having anxiety if I'm sick he won't even come over he'll let me either handle it myself or let someone else handle it this has been going on for months and I'm not sure if I would necessarily call him a fake friend maybe q bad friend for putting me into an uncomfortable situation and I don't talk to him anymore because of all this

    • profile image

      Bewildered 

      5 months ago

      I had a friend that everytime I would call her its goes right to voice mail most of the time, but on the rare occasions she did pick up the phone the min I would start telling her about something going on in my life she would say I gotta go gotta take this other call !!

      But if she was having some meltdown in her own life I became her therapist, her sounding board, and this was ALOT too, she would stay on the phone with me for hours and hours

      (funny how she never got any incoming calls then)

      Also everytime I would talk about my life she acted totally disinterested and say ya ya ya, if I tried to get a opinion out of her about anything which was like pulling teeth anyways she would say I dont know, Im not getting anything, sorry have no clue etc ...

      It was a very one sided conversation, hell I would have gotten more info and or interaction from talking to a microwave LOL

      Then I would make sure I wouldnt call her for like weeks, and everytime I did this she would after awhile start blowing up my phone, if I didnt answer she would keep blowing up my phone for days but wouldnt leave any voice mails for me, one time she actually called the police and sent them to my house telling them she hadnt heard from me in awhile and wanted to make sure I was alright !!!

      Once I went back to taking her calls then she begin blowing me off and acting disinterested over the phone all over again it was like a re run of the same behavior over and over !

      I feel that she gets off and enjoys doing this to me, but why I dont know any suggestions???

      I finally told her this: DO NOT call my phone anymore and that if u need something just email me that should save you the trouble of pretending to get phone calls while Im trying to talk to you !!

      Once I wrote her this she has not spoken to me at all (So Far) But we are talking days right now only.

      So now Ive decided that even if she does email me I will make sure I give her a taste of her own medicine by not responding back right away or maybe I wont respond back at all. What do u all think I should do any suggestions? And why is she continually doing this? I mean does she get off on it? Does she really enjoy hurting people for no cause or what?? Because I have heard about people that do this sort of thing because they enjoy it, I know it sounds weird but maybe she is one of those people?

      I just dont know but I do know that Im sick of this and this has been going on for years with this person and me.

    • profile image

      Hujdhg 

      5 months ago

      This could be helpful for other users but see I don't know see my "friend" I guess well she treats me like trash sometimes and talks behind my back i caught her once she cried she has made me cry I think she is jealous of me I think she. Uses me but sometimes she can be really nice so what is. She

    • profile image

      Anonymous 

      5 months ago

      So this person I am friends with, idk if this is really a big deal but for me it is. I talk about my concerns and she always replies in a sarcastic way, or drags me down more. Like when I was blocked by someone who was jealous of me (they told me they were jealous so they did it) and I told my friend about it, and she just laughed at the situation and said poor me but she thinks she's being funny. For me, it isn't but when I tell her that, she just turns the tables around make me look like I am the one being too sensitive. Its like she never cared of how I feel.

    • profile image

      Gloria 

      5 months ago

      one of my friends texted me and said that one of both of our friends were pretending to be friends with me and another friend of mine the whole time I tried calling that fake friend today to ask if it was true And as soon as i asked she hung up what does this mean?

    • profile image

       

      5 months ago

      Here's my honesty im fake and

      I hate the fact that im being fake and now i feel really

      Awful and i know i cant change the

      Past but i hope i can change my future

      And be true a true friend

      Unlike my friends their fake but i hope

      They feel the same way i do

    • profile image

      Anon 

      6 months ago

      Fake friends are ones who aren't strong enough to let go of the friendship due to the fear of loneliness or other reasons. So, i guess they need someone to keep them company because no one else will.

    • profile image

      44 

      6 months ago

      I hate my ax friends now they would be always fake to me and now when I start to hang out with the other girls/people they would be talking about me and when I sit with my new friends at lunch they would be looking at me and talk about me I mean I can Hear my name dah they just want me to feel bad that all they want to feel and they don't want me to have friends and also they say that they dont like white people I mean I didn't care about the skin color I mean who would care about the skins color that is just soooo stupid they are the ones that are stupid they think everyone scared of them and they think they are special when everyone hates them

    • profile image

      Persowhotalksalot 

      6 months ago

      my friend is say im mean when i dont talk cause she shouted at me and i feel i will say something wrong and she does the same . She says this twice. My other friend says that she got into an argument with her on how she does not hang out with us a lot no more and she gets angry and when she apoligise AGAIN she shouts AGAIN. and she does not keep her promises or do what she says , does it a month later when idc anymore . she argues over little things like is it DT food of food technology . Asks to help homework and check as if i know they are right just cause i'm in set 1 i actually am stupid at math.

      Is she fake or What? .

    • profile image

      jess 

      6 months ago

      why would they want to be fake

    • profile image

      no name 

      6 months ago

      all of my frineds are fake

    • profile image

      Ihaveissues 

      6 months ago

      I have this one friend who’s mostly talks to me bout homework n she doesn’t even asks me she’s intend she that’s I will do it for her. We went out to study for a test npbut instad she made me do her other work and I could to say no. A few days ago I wasn’t going to tell my friends a funny incident that happen at the place we both went but she didnt let me. It felt like she was ashamed of telling them that she went with me

    • profile image

      A person with issues 

      6 months ago

      It really sucks when you finally realize that a person who is close to you is fake. One of my best friends (used to be) would always insult me and make my depression worse (they knew I had it) they would also start fights for absolutely no reason, ditch me easily, and take bs about other people. I've done so much for them too. But, when one of my siblings committed suicide, she insulted them, and had no care in the world. That's when I finally realized who they really were. It was always at the back of my mind but now, I see their true colors. Then, later on, they talked sh*t about my friends and I behind our backs with another on of my close friends (who is not fake, she is actually told us what happened). For anyone who is dealing with a fake friend, just ignore them, no matter how hard they try to talk to you. Also if they stare at you, try to ignore them (they do this to me and its really creepy), And no matter what, never let them back in. Ni matter how much people have said they've changed, trust me, they also go back and hurt you all over again.

    • thehands profile imageAUTHOR

      Jorge Vamos 

      7 months ago

      Some 13 year old:

      Hey man, tell an adult what's going on if some jerk's been trying to pick a fight with you for no reason. You shouldn't have to fight anyone if you don't want to.

    • profile image

      Some 13 year old 

      7 months ago

      This is completely right. I’m 13 and since 5th grade, so 11, he’s been a jerk. Number 4 was the most accurate, he also is much stronger, but I’m gonna work out, or I’m trying to this summer, I want to defend myself more, he’s rough, I pretend to be friends, he’s a big idiot. What I noticed at this end of the year, tommorow will be my last day of school, he always had Fight Friday with me basically, I hate it.

    • profile image

      Manny 

      7 months ago

      Yes i have one now. I ask for help and she doesnt want to help to get in trouble. Its not an illegal help. I have ask others and their more helpful than her. Im like wow, its better late than never. Shes been taking this friendship for granted.

    • profile image

      Lulu Lulema 

      7 months ago

      Magic Johnson is my friend

    • profile image

      Aarmani 

      7 months ago

      i love gf

    • profile image

      Rocio 

      7 months ago

      One of my so called " friend " started to talk bs about me and i knew because she talked and stared at me and my bestfriend stopped talking to me, hanging out, and even texting me. So my " bestfriend " went with her. Now I have 2 fake friends

    • profile image

      Aryan Goyat 

      7 months ago

      I have 2fake friends in previous school but in present they are not with me

    • profile image

      My fake friend jealous with me i hate those people i hate them 

      7 months ago

      I ,m not met them forever

    • profile image

      valerie 

      7 months ago

      my 2 friends are allways sayig i am dramatic and fake but they always roll their eyes and ignore wat i say. and their always on their phones and they get mad wen i talk to my other friends. They keep secrets from me. and talk behind my back.

    • profile image

      Anonymous 

      7 months ago

      I have a friend who used to be really close to me about a year ago. She would talk to me about how she didn’t like someone, but about a week of trash talking that person, would make up with them. Eventually, she joined that person’s friend group and only talks about them. Whenever we’re together, she seems completely uninterested in anything I have to say, and when I’m done talking she just talks about the new friends she’s replaced me with. She always has to be right about things, and when I am with her and her friends, she acts like we were never close at all.

    • profile image

      ?????????????? 

      7 months ago

      I have a best friend that always brings me down and calls me names bet in not sure if she means it to try to hurt me would that be considered fake

    • profile image

      No name 

      7 months ago

      I had two great friends until someone else came. The someone else became my best freind. My other two freinds which are going to be a and b tried to make us turn on each other. Say the other one was lesbian and liked them. Wrote mean names and put our names on it. All this crap. Then one day I had had enough. A and b got in a fight with me and now I’m alone no friends. And a and b got my best freind.

    • profile image

      1234 

      8 months ago

      I have a friend that I’ve been friends with for around 3 years now and at first it was fine until about February last year when we started hanging around with this other girl soon enough she was one of her Bestfriends and since then whenever my other friends around the girl that we started talking to about a year ago she’s horrible to me they always joke about stuff that aren’t funny in lessons and act really immature around each other but as soon as I’m by myself With one or the other they act nice to me and like nothing happens but it literally happens every single day and I’m that type of person who’s quite sensitive and my feelings get hurt really easily but I don’t know what to do about it.

    • profile image

      8 months ago

      If my friends tell me i can’t be myself around them are they fake friends?

    • profile image

      marco perez 

      8 months ago

      my fake as friend jani napier is fake asf she always asks for money and acts different around other people wen im there im putting her on the burn book. xoxo grechithen

    • profile image

      ryane hardy 

      8 months ago

      i have a coworker thought we were friends into he got girlfriend. or before aways said we are going hang out then change it last min his name matt broudues

    • profile image

      Nunya 

      8 months ago

      If someone stops being your friend because of your opinions, they aren't a fake friend. That's complete bull. it just means a) you need to check your opinions, or b) they need to check their opinions.

    • profile image

      Unknow 

      9 months ago

      I had this ''friend'' that was rude to me all the time but I'm nice to everyone no matter what they do are how they act until my breaking point.So she hated me for no reason and when I went to a new school I saw her again she acted like she was my friend and I thought she was,I helped her through everything but soon enough she only talk to me when she needed something that I had like food or homework answers and all her other friend started saying she treated them that that to.I was still nice but then she started saying things behind my back and would get people to come say rude things to me.So I reach my breaking point and finally told her how I felt and I didn't want to be her friend and a lot of her friends did the same thing and they became my friends and they are close friends I have till this day and I support them in everything just like they do for me.

    • profile image

      Anonymous 

      9 months ago

      I have this friends who at first I thought was a nice person, until someone else showed up. She started to act weird and use me and I just let it happen. I guess I just let her use me knowing she doesn't really she doesn't give two cruds about me...I honestly think that I should part from her. I lost a friend because she told me to watch out for her, I didn't listen and I said she was a good person. Most people don't like her because she is really rude and really only uses people she thinks are weak. She has a very powerful group of friends, I threw away my schedule just to be her apart of her clique. But whenever she's with them she just puts me down, and gives me the cold shoulder she makes me feel like a bad person or that I'm weak...I hate it but...I've told her so many things I'm afraid that she might spread rumors. I hate it I really do...she says I'm her friend, but I read Body Language...I know she's lying

    • profile image

      Some about to beat a B 

      9 months ago

      My so called friend is always saying things about me saying it is a joke. She be acting different around people and she always taking my things. I some times thought she was fake but never was really sure until now.

      Thank you so much ;)

    • profile image

      girl 

      9 months ago

      i have a fake friend that does the exact same things that were said

    • profile image

      Anonymous 

      9 months ago

      I have a lot of fake friends and my “bestfriend” is fake too

    • profile image

      Fake Friend 

      9 months ago

      This helps because my so called "friend" always steals my best friend away from me. She is constantly being inappropriate, and I am religious so my mom doesn't like bad language or actions. She is constantly yelling at me and saying "stop, give me it, ew," and stuff like that.

      What I say, "See ya fakie"

    • profile image

      Anoushka 

      9 months ago

      I just found some friends and I really like them, but I don’t know if they like me because of the things they do. Out of all four of them it’s just one of them that I feel like they hate me sometimes and sometime they don’t. They run away from me and say I’m trying to be someone I’m not. I think they just say it for fun, but idk. I’ve never had a childhood friend that I still talk to now because either they moved or I moved. I feel like she talks behind my back and doesn’t like me because I’m weird or something. I try sooo hard to fit in and I wish that shE wouldn’t make me feel so bad. I don’t say anything because it makes me feel like a wimp. I’ve never had actual good friends. In all honesty no one has ever liked me as a friend, and most of my teachers at school don’t like me either. I keep my grades up, I’m polite and kind but they don’t like me. I feel like they just wait for me to leave. It really sucks because this always happens to me. They do all the same things no matter who my friends are.

    • profile image

      Why are people so mean? 

      10 months ago

      I'm in my second year of college and I finally realized that my so called "friends" are fake friends. I always felt like I can't truly be myself around them in first year, because they would always make fun of my likes and interests. It felt like I was walking on eggshells whenever I was around them. I always felt bad about myself whenever we hung out and I feel like they don't respect me because I don't fit in their agenda.

      I don't come from a rich or influencial family, I can't afford all the fancy techno gadgets that they have like, an IPad or a laptop. But they always treat people with these fancy things better than they treat me. I'm never greeted positively. It's always "Ew, it's [my name]", never "Hey! It's [my name]! :)" I'm slowly starting to distance myself from them because I'm tired of feeling inadequate. I'm tired of having to lose myself in order to be on their good side. Why can't they just treat me with respect? Oh well, solitude is a lot better than being surounded by fake friends.

    • profile image

      Lacey 

      10 months ago

      I have a fake friend who's trying to make me look dumb or silly in every situation they can get and disagrees with me on almost everything I say

      They can never agree with me on anything its ridiculous they make it seem like my opinion is crazy or doesn't make sense wen really there just being haters and clearly have an issue with me that there trying to hide.

      They even act really different with me even though we known each other for so long their still acting like were not that tight not matter how much time i spend with them there still acting distant . and they even let some new so called friends i made and told them to join the group go against me and make me look stupid again !!

      I'm so done with them there's only like 3 months left of uni and i can finally leave and not see them again!! Thank gosh lool i need a new start there just crazy and trying to have a go at me for nothing i don't need this in my life ff'n hell !!! Legit

      Realised in the end God is the only one who truly has my back and will always be there and that I'm my number 1 supporter !! #SelfLove

      Its time to stop chasing after meaningless friendships and move on and live my life for me and show everyone the amazing brillence and talent within me !!

      #SocialJustice4All

    • profile image

      S7_MASTER . 

      10 months ago

      i have a fake friend and need help

    • profile image

      unknown 

      10 months ago

      I'm surrounded by fakies

    • profile image

      Delaney Speer 

      10 months ago

      i have a friend that is a fake

    • profile image

      Delaney 

      10 months ago

      i just was a lunch with my friends and they told me to go sit some where else so there boyfriends could sit there. Even though i started the table they want me out. my friend has been there for me but when other people are around shes the queen. i hate her for that then there is another friend i hate her now she called me a bitch because i told her i'm not moving so how should i feel about that

    • profile image

      The Person who doesn't want to give off their name! =) 

      11 months ago

      I had a friend and she always was there. But. I don't think she is a real friend! =(

    • profile image

      A person 

      11 months ago

      All of my so called friends are all fakes I thought we were real friends but I guess were not

      They act different around me all the time, one day she cares about me the next day she’s ignoring me.

    • profile image

      Unknown 

      11 months ago

      I have a friend name Madison Jones

      she’s fake and a user she thinks she have friends because she go out with Darien but when they break up no one is going to talk to her she has been ignoring me

    • profile image

      justin 

      11 months ago

      i am only 12

    • profile image

      Damiya 

      11 months ago

      I have a group of friends we call are selves the 3/3 group but one of the girls in my group does all of these things above to me and im not going into the new year (2018)with those kind of people around me i have to cut her off and find people who lift me up and not try to bring me down .

    • profile image

      jesse 

      11 months ago

      I have a 'friend' who just seems to use me to do things he is too lazy to do, like cut fire wood and fix his car when it breaks down, he uses the excuse he has a sore back. he also uses me because I have a fishing boat, he will try to tell me where to fish and when to move to another spot and if I don't listen he will get in a sulk, if anything goes wrong or he loses a fish its my fault. he also makes up rumors about me and talks behind my back. he lies about everything and only seems to hang around me if he needs something. I felt sorry for him because he doesn't have many other friends but now I see why. I had a go at him once and he changed for a couple months but went back to the same tricks, I think its time to get rid of him

    • profile image

      Itai 

      12 months ago

      I have actually had a fake friend for a while now and still were friends with that person knowing he was fake. (Bad results) he always looks for my bad side. (His thoughts.) he makes fun of me in front of other people=outrageous! And won't listen to my opinion. That is s fake friend.

    • profile image

      Nikkii 

      12 months ago

      ‘I have a ‘friend’ that does some of these things but it’s hard to tell if she’s fake or not.

    • thehands profile imageAUTHOR

      Jorge Vamos 

      14 months ago

      We might be talking about two different kinds of "loyalty" here. Personal, I consider it to be a neutral character trait on its own.

      There's nothing wrong with having some "loyalty" in the sense that we prefer spending time with friends over strangers. Or even in the sense that we help our friends first when they're in trouble. I don't think this is bad or anything.

      However, loyalty in the sense that *you apply different standards to your friends* than you do to other people is the bad kind of "loyalty" that I mean here. And it's what many people mean when they say "loyalty" as well.

      For example, taking someone's side when they were wrong merely because they're your friend. Tolerating rude behavior in a friend that you would never tolerate in a stranger. Bailing your friend out when they hurt other people and get in trouble for it, etc. Doing stuff like this out of loyalty and familiarity is dumb, I think.

      If you genuinely care for people, you don't need duty and "loyalty" to influence people to stick by your side. That's why a sign of a crappy friend is someone who treats people badly by default, and then only treats them well if they are "loyal" friends. What happens when they decide that you haven't done what they wanted and they no longer like you?

      If a friend does something genuinely awful--like they violate your trust--it's not that they were disloyal so much as they don't care about people's feelings. It would be awful if they did that to a stranger, too. Hopefully, you wouldn't need loyalty for them to treat you right.

      So basically that's why I say you don't really need someone to be "loyal" to you in a friendship. If they are loyal instead to compassion, to truth, to common decency--then you don't need them to be loyal to you personally.

    • profile image

      Milonga 

      14 months ago

      One part of this article confused me, the part about loyalty. Loyalty (not blind loyalty but a reasonable amount of it) is part of what constitutes good character. So I'm not sure why you'd separate loyalty and character.

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