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Why Your Neighbors Don't Say Hi

Too cool for you? Why your neighbors don't say hi.
Too cool for you? Why your neighbors don't say hi. | Source

While you are sweeping your front steps, your neighbor starts to walk down the street. You eagerly say hi when she passes your property because you are a friendly person. Your neighbor, in return, basically ignores you and just keeps walking on. You are positive she saw you. There are many reasons why your neighbors don't say hello.

Why Your Neighbors Don't Say Hi

  • They aren't looking to make connections in their neighborhood. You would be surprised at the number of people who do not want to bother with their neighbors. People like this often fear having their problems or your problems becoming intertwined in each other's lives, and just making things plain out too complicated for them to give cues of approachability.

  • They are jealous of what you have. Maybe you own your house and they rent. Maybe your garden is full of flowers and they are fighting down dirt patches on their lawn. Maybe your husband is a high-paid CEO and her husband was just laid-off. No matter what, being green with envy often makes people want to ignore the people that make them feel this way.

  • You are not taking care of your property. Most people who have mortgages are sensitive to drops in value on their property and how well appearances reflect on them. It is always a good idea to to keep up maintenance and the appearance of your home and lawn. Your neighbors could be frustrated by your lack of upkeep yet realize they do not have a right to tell you how to take care of your property. In this case a neighbor might ignore you because speaking to you might boil over their emotions and cause them to be nasty to you.

  • They have a superiority complex. There are people who feel they are just too cool to say hello back to you. Many people have been motivated by competition their whole life, and if they feel they have accomplished something that takes them to a higher socio-economic or social level than you, their lack of friendliness is sometimes how it will show. Little do they know that money and status only takes people so far. When they need their neighbors in an emergency or for support, these same people might find they don't have it as a result of their rude behavior. They are motivated by shallowness and thus do not have an inkling that saying hi isn't beneath them.

  • They are zoned out. Sometimes people have not had enough sleep, are late to work, are sad about a death in the family, or are worried about things such as a bad medical diagnosis. These heavy thoughts or the lack of the ability to concentrate on anything else will often make a person oblivious to what is going on around them.

  • They never learned manners. In these modern ages, a lot of people are simply not taught social graces. They know someone has said hello to them, but they just don't have the training to know it is rude to not return the greeting.

  • They are young. People who are younger than you, outside of your social circle, will often not know how to respond. They will sometimes feel awkward around outsiders. And in an age of rampant social media, if your hello isn't prompted by a beep on their cell phone, a lot of them will just not acknowledge your presence.

  • They are hard of hearing. If you say hello without waving, people with hearing disabilities might not actually realize you said hello.

  • They are just plain unfriendly all the time. The town grump that always scowls or the angry teenager down the street is likely to have issues that prohibit them from showing any gestures of friendliness to anyone.

  • They don't speak English. In a multi-cultural society it is not difficult to find people that barely speak English. Your neighbor might know how to say hello but are not able to carry a conversation much further than that. In this case, speaking to you might cause them to waste both of your time since communication will not be understandable. Some people try to avoid this situation by not saying hello in the first place.


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What You Can Do When Your Neighbor Doesn't Return Your Greeting

  • Do not feel bad about it. Factors as to whether people choose to return our greetings are, for the most part, out of our control. So just turn your thoughts to more worthy causes.
  • Do not attempt to greet them again unless they do so first. As friendly as you are, they are just not inclined to engage, and they might never be.
  • Do not gossip about it. It is normal to talk to family members or friends on the phone about the slight, but it is best not to tell other neighbors about it. That is the point your life becomes negatively intertwined with someone else's and it can become a real issue or tit-for-tat -- all for something minor. Also, leave social media out of it if any of the people on your accounts know your unfriendly neighbor.
  • Focus on the good relationships or gestures you share with other neighbors. We usually cannot choose our neighbors, and many of us simply don't like the people in the house that our home sits next to. Be thankful for your good neighbors. They surely are thankful for you too.

Rude Neighbor Comedy

© 2014 Stove And Home

Comments 8 comments

Stove And Home profile image

Stove And Home 2 years ago Author

Arco and Hess, both very valid points. People do not want anyone ruining their safety zone or talking about them. Thank you.


Arco Hess Designs profile image

Arco Hess Designs 2 years ago from Kansas City, Kansas

Good article. I have had many neighbors who didn't bother to say hi but I've also had many that after I said hi would start rumors right after our conversation. I can imagine many people simply not wanting rumors spread about them.


dashingscorpio profile image

dashingscorpio 2 years ago

Depending on where one lives (privacy) is something most people want. Most people in this era do not want their neighbors knowing very much about them. They already have their friends, family, and co-workers.

When they come home they just want to relax and enjoy not being interrupted with gossip and innuendo. They see their home as a "safe zone". If you don't know your neighbors you don't care what they think. They're not going to just drop by, borrow things, or snoop around. Whomever invented the (fence) must have believed in boundaries. I love not knowing my neighbors! :)


peachpurple profile image

peachpurple 2 years ago from Home Sweet Home

i have a neighbor who doesn't return my greetings when I nod my had, smile or say hi.

I think he is angry about my jungle garden. It is full of weeds and tall grass


Stove And Home profile image

Stove And Home 2 years ago Author

It's okay. I think some of my neighbors hate my overdecorating for Christmas. I have lights in their faces all night!


Larisa 23 months ago

Have you ever considered crieatng an ebook or guest authoring on other blogs? I have a blog centered on the same ideas you discuss and would love to have you share some stories/information. I know my viewers would value your work. If you're even remotely interested, feel free to send me an e-mail.


peachpurple profile image

peachpurple 23 months ago from Home Sweet Home

my neighbor don't say I because I didn't renovate my house. The rest of my neighbors did renovated their houses. That is the reason?


Stove And Home profile image

Stove And Home 23 months ago Author

Peachpurple, I would hope they would still be friendly to you. It is expensive to renovate a house.

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