This Girl Is Jealous of Me: How to Deal with Jealous Women
I recently received a letter from a 20-year-old college woman: "This girl is jealous of me. I get attention from guys because of my looks, I drive a convertible, and I have lots of nice clothes. I'm not trying to flaunt anything, but this girl tries to make me look bad every time she's around me. What can I do?"
Sometimes you have what others want and it drives them crazy. Here is how to deal with jealous women.
Sometimes We're Up
Perhaps you are in your skinniest jeans yet, guys turn their heads every time you walk by, your parents paid for college, and you've got a high-paying job lined up after school. Life is going well for you and you should enjoy it.
Sometimes We're Down
Life can suck at times. You might remember a time when a guy you were dating cut your relationship short, maybe your credit cards were overdrawn, or perhaps you gained 20 lbs. at one time and none of your clothes would fit anymore.
Even if none of those happened to you, you can at least remember a period in your life where circumstances pulled you down emotionally. When other women are jealous of you and try to make you look bad, it's because they are focusing in on that low feeling and projecting it.
They have a severe dislike for how their own lives are going at the moment and the easiest way for them to make themselves feel better is to target someone who has what they want, and try to make them feel like they aren't as good as they think they are.
How is jealousy playing out in your life?
No One Gets Off Scot-Free
People who complain about being picked on because they are overweight, poor, or "different" also don't realize that on the other side of the fence people are picked on for looking beautiful, having money, or having a stellar education and career. In this life, there will always be some kind of push-pull no matter which side you are on.
When things are looking up for you, your confidence does not shatter so easily because you have a buffer of good circumstances keeping those positive feelings alive. So even though you have women around you green with envy who don't know how to control their feelings of jealousy, realize that ...
Female envy should make you feel better about yourself. This is why:
- When you say, "This girl is jealous of me ...", let that be a positive signal to you. You are a model for what others wish they had or traits they wish they possessed.
- Everything you have is not just due to luck. Some of your success is likely due to your own personal drive: whether it is to keep your appearance up or your school or work performance stellar. Effort and time go into these things.
How to Deal with Jealous Women
When you are on the receiving end of a bad comment there are many ways to handle it depending upon your and the offending party's personality. You can:
- Refuse to acknowledge the person
- Keep your distance
- Retort about the bad luck they are having, if you feel like snapping back at them
- Try to become friends with the person so that the behavior might be broken
Use the Jealousy of Other Women to Keep Improving Yourself
- Sometimes when you're young, life just has a way of working in your favor. But just because you are on top right now does not mean you will stay there. Observe what you are doing or what has provided you with the good life you have. Keep working on those things throughout your life.
- Pay attention to your mannerisms and how you treat others. If you are being a jerk, that will backfire against you in the end. Success requires some degree of humility to keep you aware of how life really functions. Humility keeps you open to realistic expectations of others, and it helps you maintain control of your presence and personality -- two key factors that will help drive you to having success with interpersonal communication.
© 2013 Hearts and Lattes