I recently received a letter from a 20-year-old college woman: "This girl is jealous of me. I get attention from guys because of my looks, I drive a convertible, and I have lots of nice clothes. I'm not trying to flaunt anything, but this girl tries to make me look bad every time she's around me. What can I do?"
Sometimes you have what others want and it drives them crazy. Here is how to deal with jealous women.
Sometimes We're Up
Perhaps you are in your skinniest jeans yet, guys turn their heads every time you walk by, your parents paid for college, and you've got a high-paying job lined up after school. Life is going well for you and you should enjoy it.
Sometimes We're Down
Life can suck at times. You might remember a time when a guy you were dating cut your relationship short, maybe your credit cards were overdrawn, or perhaps you gained 20 lbs. at one time and none of your clothes would fit anymore.
Even if none of those happened to you, you can at least remember a period in your life where circumstances pulled you down emotionally. When other women are jealous of you and try to make you look bad, it's because they are focusing in on that low feeling and projecting it.
They have a severe dislike for how their own lives are going at the moment and the easiest way for them to make themselves feel better is to target someone who has what they want, and try to make them feel like they aren't as good as they think they are.
No One Gets Off Scot-Free
People who complain about being picked on because they are overweight, poor, or "different" also don't realize that on the other side of the fence people are picked on for looking beautiful, having money, or having a stellar education and career. In this life, there will always be some kind of push-pull no matter which side you are on.
When things are looking up for you, your confidence does not shatter so easily because you have a buffer of good circumstances keeping those positive feelings alive. So even though you have women around you green with envy who don't know how to control their feelings of jealousy, realize that ...
Female envy should make you feel better about yourself. This is why:
- When you say, "This girl is jealous of me ...", let that be a positive signal to you. You are a model for what others wish they had or traits they wish they possessed.
- Everything you have is not just due to luck. Some of your success is likely due to your own personal drive: whether it is to keep your appearance up or your school or work performance stellar. Effort and time go into these things.
How to Deal with Jealous Women
When you are on the receiving end of a bad comment there are many ways to handle it depending upon your and the offending party's personality. You can:
- Refuse to acknowledge the person
- Keep your distance
- Retort about the bad luck they are having, if you feel like snapping back at them
- Try to become friends with the person so that the behavior might be broken
Use the Jealousy of Other Women to Keep Improving Yourself
- Sometimes when you're young, life just has a way of working in your favor. But just because you are on top right now does not mean you will stay there. Observe what you are doing or what has provided you with the good life you have. Keep working on those things throughout your life.
- Pay attention to your mannerisms and how you treat others. If you are being a jerk, that will backfire against you in the end. Success requires some degree of humility to keep you aware of how life really functions. Humility keeps you open to realistic expectations of others, and it helps you maintain control of your presence and personality -- two key factors that will help drive you to having success with interpersonal communication.
Questions & Answers
Question: The girl is always spreading rumors about me, and I am made aware by my friends that she has said these things. When we're in a group, she always makes mean jokes, when it is a large group, she pits us against each other, making people choose sides. She enjoys saying things that would make me look bad. She recently spread rumors that I am having sex with certain guys and that I have sugar daddies. What do I do in such a case?
Answer: It sounds like she needs a taste of her own medicine and an attitude adjustment. Try treating her the same way she treats you.
Question: So there are these two sisters that give me dirty looks all the time. What should I do? And they have so much attitude.
Answer: Try not to look in their direction if you can help it. You can always give them dirty looks back too.
Question: What does it mean if a girl was staring at me right after I finished singing?
Answer: I wasn't there, but she could be throwing you some hatred. People also tend to look at attractive people longer.
Question: What should I do if a girl always tries to make fun of me in front of everyone? She also gives me really dirty looks. She comments on me in the form of jokes, and would always love to insinuate that I am very ugly.
Answer: She definitely sounds like a jealous woman. You can treat her the same way she treats you (give her a taste of her own medicine), or try to ignore her.
Question: How do I deal with a girl that gives me dirty looks when I go to visit my boyfriend at work? She purposely put her hair in my food.
Answer: You could do something like this back to her. Or keep your food away from her as well. You could also give her dirty looks back or ask her what her problem is.
Question: What's the meaning of a very beautiful and smart girl trying to make a chubby one who has difficulties on succeeding in her studies and life look bad in front of other people and comparing herself to her?
Answer: Unfortunately this is part of human nature. People will make fun of others who are different from them for any reason whatsoever.
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