Can you keep a secret? As strange as it may sound, keeping a secret is one hell of a difficult job to do. We’ve all got secrets. Secrets are of many types. There are harmless, jovial, funny, gossipy secrets but in this very piece, I am focusing on that disturbing failure in keeping secrets done solely with malicious intent and calculated towards damaging someone’s reputation.
To keep a secret can be so hard and difficult for so many people to the extent that the only way out for them to relieve themselves off such a great burden will be just to spill the beans not minding whose ox is eventually gored in the process.
I perfectly understand these people. Sometimes the compulsion or urge to say something or just voice it out could be so strong that they will no other option other than to say it all. Sometimes gossip is fun and interesting and people really love to gossip, I know.
Some other people are of the habit of NOT keeping any secret at all and they see it as fun when they reveal everything that they were not told to say. These groups of people don’t even know when they are doing it. To them it is just normal and they don’t seem to see any sense in restraining that urge.
Such people are easy to spot. Just tell them, “please this is a big secret”, watch their eyes start to glow almost immediately and then seat back and watch the grapevine start to rumble. To these people, they derive their pleasure by doing it. Ironically, they will even start divulging the said secret by telling you that “please, this is a secret”.
Very funny indeed.
Have you heard this statement before: “three people can keep a secret if two are dead”? This statement implies that keeping a secret is almost impossible for (most) people to do.
But I don’t think it is supposed to be like that.
Why is keeping secret so hard?
In my opinion, it is simply because the person who is spilling the beans by revealing all those hidden details must have missed the importance of being able to keep secret.
So as a reminder, I am going to base our discussion today on the different reasons why I believe it is still a very nice virtue for one to be able to keep a secret.
Trust and Confidence
Of course, keeping secrets helps in building massive trust and confidence in our daily relationship with other people. People who are not able to do this are often considered as very unstable, highly disloyal and above all very untrustworthy!
Trust is one of the most important requirements for building all forms of relationships be it in business, romantic or personal.
Nothing could hit me where it really hurts the most than the betrayal of trust. In truth, personally I rate and value trust much more than love. I believe it is the same for you too, right?
If you can keep my secrets, that means I have nothing to fear again because I can now have my loyal friend who can be counted upon to keep mum when required to do so.
When you are able to accomplish this very one thing for others, their confidence in you will surely increase and trust people. You may not know it but, words will spread that you are very dependable!
Soon, more and more people will be drawn to you. What other better way to easily make friends? And that’s simply because you can keep a secret.
Staying Out of Trouble
In our world today where staying out of any form of trouble is very much advisable, one sure way of effectively doing that is by keeping secrets.
The simple rule is “see no evil, hear no evil and say no evil”.
But I will like to focus on the “say no evil” part because that is what keeping secret is all about. Simply put, as long as you don’t say it, no one will ever hear it.
Most rumors stem from secrets. Do you love to spread rumors? Please always remember that when you voluntarily join in the spreading that juicy rumor you might not know it but you could be landing yourself in serious trouble because you will not be able to authenticate the veracity of the story.
Remember, some people have gone to prison because of what they said.
One other thing, you could also be running the dangerous risk of damaging your own reputation and losing your worth in peoples' eyes as they quickly learn (and don’t forget, tell others too) to stay away from you - that despicable rumormonger.
One other thing you must remember, especially if you are already in the shameful habit of saying what you were asked not to say, is to remember that you could be under a test.
One easy way that can be used to differentiate true friends from poseurs and charlatans is by telling a very harmless secret to that very person and then watching out to see if the story still comes out or gets back to you.
You may not know it when you are doing it but you might have just failed in very important test, shut down all future doors to great wealth, connections, joy and happiness if you fail to keep the secret… something that my come back and haunt for the rest of your life!
Keeping secrets can be a very effective way of practicing self control. From the place where I come from in Africa, that is one way of being a Man. A man is not expected to gossip or reply to questions that are not asked of him.
Well, at times the temptation could just be too strong, you just have it at the tip of your tongue and now you just open your mouth and what next…?
OK, you know what… just forget it!
That is it! Clap for yourself. You're the man!
When you get into the habit of holding back whatever you really want to say which in this case happens to be a secret, I tell you, you are getting better in self control.
It also shows that you now have the ability to think carefully, look carefully before you leap!
In certain cases, when you are able to practice self control, it also means you will also be able to consider all dimensions and consider all possibilities as well as the veracity of that very tale you are about to tell.
Your ability to hold back without running your mouth unnecessarily may also give you the opportunity to be able to see the ludicrousness in what you wanted to say as well as give you the opportunity to consider the importance or usefulness of that very thing you wanted to say to them.
Simply put, you are now a Man – a thinking MAN!
Power to Play God
Imagine if you have the power to keep the whole secrets of everybody on this planet? Don’t you think your head will surely swoon… at least somehow?
This is what I call the power to play God.
But you and I know that you cannot be accorded this power if you are that type of person that runs his/her mouth under the 'slightest provocation'.
Keeping secrets can be fun too. Trust me on this one. This is one of the main… in fact the only reason why I would’ve loved to become a Catholic priest.
If you think I am lying, just ask any Catholic priest. I wonder what is going on on those guys’ minds as they listen in to all those evil deeds their parishioners confess to them.
I think I'm going to ask my parish priest next time I see him.
Oh, that would be gossiping, right…?
Questions & Answers
Question: So it is okay for nations to keep secrets on Covid19?
Answer: Please let us not miss the point here.
The secrets I am referring to in this article are mainly secrets on a personal level, you know, like your friend confides in you about something with the hope that you don't go about telling the whole world about it... and then you, yourself exercise some self-control by not revealing those secrets.
I hope you get the idea now, huh?
If nations decide to keep secrets on Covid19 and their citizens continue to perish, does it make any sense at all?
Trucmadlyn on March 17, 2019:
So what is your secret is safe
owen on December 03, 2018:
i like you speach
Bill on July 26, 2018:
I agree with it. Enjoyed a lot! hahaa
Emmyboy (author) from Nigeria on April 11, 2018:
Ansu, you're welcome.
Ansu Gyan Hayford on April 07, 2018:
Great and I do appreciate all your advice.
Emmyboy (author) from Nigeria on August 31, 2017:
It's your choice whom you decide to share your secrets with.
Thanks for reading.
john on August 30, 2017:
Why we should share are secrets with mother and close friends
Devika Primić from Dubrovnik, Croatia on February 04, 2013:
Secrets are not a good idea in many ways it doesn't work out the way you expect it to.
Tyesha Sewer- Matthews from MOSS POINT, MS on October 01, 2012:
If you cannot keep something as simple as a secret, How can one trust you? I have lost many friends because they have ran and told something very personal to me. I hate that it did but if I would have done that to them, They wouldn't like it.
Emmyboy (author) from Nigeria on May 23, 2012:
You are welcome, wwolfs. The truth is that social networking is contributing so much to people losing their privacies without even recognizing the dangers ahead they are plotting for themselves with all those personal information they are freely giving out!
wwolfs on May 23, 2012:
I agree that it is important to be able to keep a secret. Many times there are secrets that are for the greater good, for protecting others, from not flaunting a situation in someone's face, could be an awkward situation, or upsetting for one or many. The list is endless with different reasons and situations.
Many times there are others that know a secret and will use it against the person by exposing them and ridiculing them to others. Almost always it's to harm another, done with malicious intent to damage someone’s reputation. It is these very people that will judge others always and even say a secret is wrong. I feel a secret is only wrong if you can't find a good enough reason to have it to begin with. That is how you live with it.
Today with all the social networks, many times there is no longer a thing called privacy or a private life. Many are an open book about themselves, from pictures to their sex life, some use it to expose others, some to even ridicule others.
Sometimes I wonder as I'm on this information highway called Internet, is there any mystery left to a person? Everybody doesn't have to know everything about you. Nice hub and thought provoking. Thanks for sharing!
Voted up and interesting!
Emmyboy (author) from Nigeria on February 26, 2012:
You are welcome, Jandee.
jandee from Liverpool.U.K on February 25, 2012:
enjoyed a lot,
salvationarmy from Colorado Springs, CO on February 20, 2012:
Hi Emmyboy, no problem.
Emmyboy (author) from Nigeria on February 20, 2012:
Thank you so much, salvationarmy.
salvationarmy from Colorado Springs, CO on February 18, 2012:
Secrets aren't growth, secrets our mourning when it comes to one's affairs. Secrets amongs one which is forbidden fruits-will destroy you at the end. Too sacrifice your kindness, in ways out of control,rebirth untruth. I've honesty have been keeping my secret for 7 long years. Mistakes just don't happen; we as mortal, invite them in our daily walk on this plain. That's were transformation comes in, and suffering with secrets begin. Dreams wake us mortals up at night,sweat comes pouring down; from the bondage of the-SECRET MEMORIES.
Be Blessed Emmyboy
Emmyboy (author) from Nigeria on August 30, 2011:
edu man, thanks a lot. Please do recommend me. London55, it's still a choice...actually a difficult one that u must make - keeping children in the dark!
london55 from London on August 30, 2011:
Funny I should come across your hub as I was discussing with my daughter as to whether she should encourage her daughter aged four to keep secrets. There is a fine line between being trustworthy and putting yourself in a difficult or even dangerous position. I vote no secrets especially where children are concerned, anyway I cant keep one for the life of me so I would say that?? Very interesting subject.
Agbo chinedu on August 30, 2011:
The write up was very good and educative,it was awesome my bro.i will recommend you to my friend who is an editor in one of the daily newspaper.this need to be published so that more people can read and learn from it.keep up the exellent work bro.