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Ten Character Traits of a Good Christian Man

MsDora, Certified Christian Counselor writes on moral integrity especially for women and encourages appreciation for the men in their lives.

Jill Shavis, author of Simply Irresistible complains, "Men are like parking spots. All the good ones are taken, and those that aren't are inaccessible."

But Jill, in a parking lot, it takes strategy and patience to discover a good spot. It might also take strategy and patience to find a good Christian man.

Although each woman has specifics about what makes a man good for her, most of them will include the following characteristics on their list of qualifications.

Respect for women . . . clean humor are some of the traits which make a good man.

Respect for women . . . clean humor are some of the traits which make a good man.

1) Respect for God

"The things that have always been important: to be a good man, to try to live my life the way God would have me, to turn it over to Him that His will might be worked in my life."- Johnny Cash

There's something appealing about an intelligent, mature, financially independent man who declares his respect for God and credits Him for his successes. It feels comfortable trusting a man who

  • considers himself accountable to an Omnipotent Being;
  • who considers his talents as gifts from God to bless others;
  • allows the godly principles he has learned to influence his relationships.

2) Respect for Women

Respect for one woman is respect for every woman.

Respect for one woman is respect for every woman.

"A real man, the kind of man a woman wants to give her life to, is one who will respect her dignity, who will honor her like the valuable treasure she is." -Leslie Ludy

Respect for one woman is respect for every woman.

  • A good man promotes the dignity of past and present female friends.
  • He protects their confidentiality.
  • He credits his mother and grandmother (or other motherly figures) with significant contributions to his manhood.
  • He recognizes and honors the women in his life.
  • He extends courtesies and speaks kindly to them; he encourages other men to do the same.

It makes a woman happy to be associated with him.

3) Great Conversation

“The art of conversation is the art of hearing as well as of being heard.” -William Hazlitt

He discusses the other person's interests and shares his own. He continually finds opportunities to express affirmation and love. He asks questions and makes observations which feed a sense of purpose. No put-downs, no intimidation, no judgments. Talking with him boosts the spirit, energizes the mind, and leaves one feeling grateful for his friendship.

4) Clean Humor

"One can know a man from his laugh, and if you like a man's laugh before you know anything of him, you may confidently say that he is a good man." -Fyodor Dostoevsky

He initiates the laughter on many occasions and he also provokes the other person's sense of humor. The honesty on his face, free from sneaky and snobbish glances lets you know, even from a distance, that his laughter is not based on anything ridiculous or vulgar. He laughs at his own mistakes and lets those in this company know that they can do the same.

5) Positive Self-Image

"The man who does not value himself, cannot value anything or anyone.” -Ayn Rand

“You are the only you God made... God made you and broke the mold,” writes Max Lucado in You are Special, a self-esteem builder for children and adults. A real man knows that Max is writing about him.He is:

  • confident, but not conceited
  • self-assured but not stuck-up.

A man who acknowledges his own value is more likely to acknowledge value in someone else. He gives what he has.

6) Respectability

"Respect for ourselves guides our morals, respect for others guides our manners." -Laurence Stern

The church folk, his employees, his clients and his community in general express respect and admiration for him. Obviously, his self-respect attracts their respect for him. They regard him as an authority figure and a friendly counselor in basic life management skills and they trust his judgment. He extracts smiles from most people. A woman feels honored to be seen in his company.

7) Fun Parent-Child Rapport

"I was raised in the greatest of homes... just a really great dad, … always provided for the kids, and just a lot of fun." -Max Lucado

The quality of parenting is measured by the quality of relationship between parent and child. The good man scores big in this area. He enjoys the respect of his children and grand-children. They look after his interest and they crave his counsel. They anticipate family dinners which feature his presence, if not his cooking. They share fun and laughter. If his children are happy with him, he must be good company.

8) Concern for Others

"I think a gentleman is someone who holds the comfort of other people above their own. The instinct to do that is inside every good man, I believe." -Anna Kendrick

He’s concerned not only about his friend, but also about the other people in his friend's life. He inquires about their relatives, their health status, their progress in whatever projects they are involved. He also has friends among the elderly who have come to rely on him for various types of assistance. They continually express gratitude for his acts of kindness. He’s good for lots of things—and lots of people!

9) Romance-ability

"A real man can make a woman fall in love without touching anything but the heart." --Unknown

He expresses intimacy without being physical. The hand-written notes, the surprise telephone calls on some days, the taped music with personal messages interspersed, the night-time serenades aimed at relieving daytime stress—changing the recipient's mood from frustration and fear to respite and romance. He makes one feel loved, valued and wanted.

10) Passion for Music

"Where words leave off, music begins." -Heinrich Heine

A good man knows that he cannot say it all. He also knows the power of music to convey his feelings. Sometimes he calls and says, "Just listen." The lyrics may be sung by him or by someone else. It may be an instrumental played by him or by some other.

A great part of understanding a good man is understanding his music.

A great part of understanding a good man is understanding his music.

His love of music is not only to enhance his relationship. He is aware that music contributes to his mental and emotional health. He devotes time to listening and playing alone; and his music collection spans several decades and includes all genres. Sometimes he plays and sings passionately like nobody’s listening. It has nothing to do with the quality of his voice; it has everything to do with the fervor in his heart.

“After silence” according to Aldous Huxley, “that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.” If that is true, then a great part of understanding a good man is understanding his music.

© 2012 Dora Weithers


Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on August 31, 2018:

Thanks, Tamara. I've been accused of highlighting positives about women only, but I love and respect men and applaud the many who demonstrate these qualities. Hoping those who come after will listen, then your prediction will come true.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on August 31, 2018:

Thanks, Eric. Your comment is kind and encouraging as always. I'm sure that you qualify as a man of good qualities.

Tamara Yancosky from Uninhabited Regions on August 31, 2018:

I love this article on “Traits of a Good Christian Man”! This will not only be a wise and wonderful guide for the male species right now, but also for future generations! You are leaving a valued legacy ❤️



Eric Dierker from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on August 31, 2018:

When you came by to visit I knew it would be nice to visit in return. What a blessing to read this again. Somehow you got me to see my failings without condemning myself so I can do better.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on March 17, 2013:

Lucky you, PrairiePrincess. Most only dream of such a man. Count your blessings! Thanks for your comment.

Sharilee Swaity from Canada on March 17, 2013:

MsDora, my husband has most of these qualities, and I love him so much. Thanks for reminding me of how fortunate I truly am. Take care!

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on March 14, 2013:

Sweet Epistles, I smile too. You may not want to trade the 70% that he has 30% that he might not have. I say "might" because you may see them sooner or later. Thanks for sharing.

June from From the Heart of God on March 14, 2013:

I am taking note Ms Dora. Thank you for sharing this Hub. I know someone who has 7 out 10 of this qualities....but I love him anyway.

He just smiled when I told him he lacked three more of the qualities you mentioned...;-)

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on February 27, 2013:

Manatita, you make me smile. Thanks for your kind thoughts.

manatita44 from london on February 27, 2013:

Brave of you to mirror yourself. You show humour, sophistication, discernment, taste, dream and longing, empathy and of course spirituality. I am only a muse ....

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on February 24, 2013:

Thanks, ahorseback. Glad I touched you, and I accept.

ahorseback on February 24, 2013:

Ms Dora Okay...... so I have a great big duzy of a hug for you !........Ed++++

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on February 22, 2013:

Thanks for your comment, Manatita. I think it takes a good man to make an observation like yours. How's London?

manatita44 from london on February 22, 2013:

Good men are spotted and encouraged by good women. Thanks for sharing ...

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on January 14, 2013:

Travel_man, I'm sure you fit the description, no joking. Please remain the prim and proper wonderful man that you are!

Ireno Alcala from Bicol, Philippines on January 14, 2013:

Oh, my, is it really me, Ms. D? (lol) Seriously speaking, they say I am old-fashioned guy because I strictly observe what you've just enumerated. I am a relic-type of person who are not easily sweep away by the present lures and baits of this generation.

Thank you for this guide. It helps to be prim and proper as a human being.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on January 13, 2013:

I agree with you, Reynold. There are some good men out there. I bet you know at least one. Thanks for your comment.

Reynold Jay from Saginaw, Michigan on January 13, 2013:

This sounds like good advice to me. I'd bet there are many out there who fit the bill on this too. Well done and interesting.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on January 13, 2013:

Hi again, rdsparrowriter: ". . . he's an unexpected blessing and a very caring good friend." Thank God for him and enjoy him. Blessings on the friendship!"

Rochelle Ann De Zoysa from Moratuwa, Sri Lanka on January 13, 2013:

Oh well, he's a good person whom I thought weird at the first since I thought how is it even possible to be like that for a person from whom I have encountered in my life... He's very inspiring and I truly admire his qualities though he's not mine. So I really don't know about the 7th point since he's a bachelor, but as far as I know he loves kids and his friends' kids seems to be fond of him as well. I don't know about the 9th point which you've mentioned, but as far as I know, he's very decent and in his own special way, he surely makes anyone feels valuable and special. For me, he's an unexpected blessing and a very caring good friend. When I read your article, it made me realize why I thought that he's imperfectly perfect.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on January 12, 2013:

Lucky you, rdsparrowriter, that could only mean that you have such a friend. Cherish that friendship. Thanks for your comment.

Rochelle Ann De Zoysa from Moratuwa, Sri Lanka on January 12, 2013:

Nice :) While I was reading this just one person came to mind... thanks for sharing ..

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on January 07, 2013:

Thanks, Eric. There's something inspiring about wholesome friendship.

Eric Dierker from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on December 31, 2012:


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