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The Lady-Like Elegance of Sitting Gracefully

It's not about outer beauty but how we do things that will help us stand up confident. Sitting is no different. Let's do it!

To sit gracefully is an outgoing quality. It's a life-giving charm that emanates flair and subtlety. This is not for imagery but merely a trait of reasonable ease. For any girl who sits without care, however glamorous, is a dead-weight.

Nothing is as charming to the eye as a perpetually preening woman

Nothing is as charming to the eye as a perpetually preening woman

A lady who moves with grace and elegance is a woman of poise and beauty. But such a woman is not too common these days, and lucky you are if you hold one of the most cherished graceful manners of traditional women - the graceful way they sit.

How to Sit Gracefully

Sitting gracefully is sitting with dignity. Some may find it too prim and proper that sounds a bit strange in today's fast and forward world. But believe it or not, it brings back the softness and sweetness so captivating of a woman.

  1. Step as close to the front of the chair as you can. Turn and prepare your body for the sitting posture.
  2. As soon as your back leg touches the chair seat, slide one foot back then gracefully lower yourself into the seat, slightly sideways. Your weight should be carried by the thighs of your back leg, not with your knees.
  3. Sit up straight with legs together and heels slightly to the rear. You can sit with legs in front of you, angle your knees to either left or right side, or cross your ankles, but never sit with legs apart, it's a mortal sin to poise. If you're crossing your legs at the knees, there should be no space between the heel and the other ankle.
  4. Place your hands together on your lap.
  5. Lengthen your spine, free the neck, and balance the head above the shoulders. In short, sit tall.

The training process may be quite challenging. If that is so, think of good posture - it will help you achieve it.

When Is It Proper to Cross the Legs

Ankles crossed, as a lady should sit

Ankles crossed, as a lady should sit

If you’ve been asking the same questions,

How do you really sit like a lady? Do I have to criss-cross my ankles each time? When is it correct to cross my legs at my knee?

The answer is – it all depends on the length of your skirt. If you’re wearing a long dress or knee-length skirt, then it's all right to cross your legs at the knee. If you’re wearing anything shorter, it’s only proper to cross your legs at the ankle.

When sitting at a social setting, a lady of etiquette will not cross her legs at the knees when wearing a short skirt.

She will not dare to bring one arm to rest at the back of the chair, and she will never throw herself completely dunked in a sofa, regardless. She will always care about how she presents herself respectably to any situation and company. She will always sit gracefully.

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When You Are Wearing Short Dress


At times when you're wearing something that is above the knee, gently turn your body a little sideward so your legs are not facing the person in front of you. This way, you'll be able to sit with ease.

It's normal for the dress to rise up a bit - let it be. It's no use trying to pull and arrange it again and again. The worst situation will not last forever, so pace yourself to keep calm and regard the difficulty philosophically.

Instead, you may put your hands or your bag on your lap for a graceful guise.

Wearing a shorter dress in the first place means you allowed it and you're ready to face the world. Hence, sit as becoming as you can be. Everything is easier when you think and act with smoothness.

When in Doubt


According to the Institute of Etiquette,

When sitting, a woman should cross her legs at the ankles. For one reason, it is not considered lady-like to cross one's legs at the knees, especially if one is wearing a short skirt.

If you're in a social situation and in doubt, always err on the side of conservative - cross your legs at the ankle.

Sitting Gracefully Is a Woman's Charm

While it seems fine to go with anything you feel comfortable with sitting, nothing beats proper etiquette. Genuine poise comes from within and it's not something that can be taught very well just through words.

The "rules" on how to sit gracefully are simply guidelines and need not be that ironclad to make it fun and rewarding.

Some women have an innate grace that just works no matter what they do. Sitting gracefully is behaving with a touch of class and it's the lady-like elegance that's just being the best that you can be.

© 2011 Tonette Fornillos

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