Rights and Responsibilities in Our Personal Space

Author:
Dora Weithers
Updated date:
Dec 16, 2021

Ms.Dora, a certified Christian counselor, explores facts, attitudes, and habits that can help us maintain our physical and mental wellbeing.

Personal space provides more than comfort and privacy; it also provides a silent stage on which to display the essence of who we are.

Think of it as the bedroom which everyone in the house recognizes as ours. It is our right to keep our doors locked or unlocked, according to our need for privacy. It is also our responsibility to create in that space our best display of what we consider a wholesome environment, whether the doors are closed or open.

In 1966, anthropologist Edward T. Hall introduced the concept that similar to the way animals mark their territory using urine and physical posturing, humans use personal space and concrete objects. The theory is known as proxemics¹, a form of non-verbal communication through our perception and use of space. It concludes that in our space, we keep four types of distances (intimate, personal, social, and public) according to the type of relationship.

Personal Space Expectations Diagram

Natbrock Alicia Tom, photo author, illustrates Hall's theory that physical distance indicates four types of relationship (intimate, personal, social, public) between communicators.
Wikimedia Commons

So how do we establish sanctions in our space? How do we use distance to make our relationships safe and comfortable? What are our responsibilities toward the individuals we allow in? Here are five essential characteristics which hold the answers to such questions and produce positive outcomes in our interaction with individuals from all four distances.

1) Creativity

We have the right to create boundaries for the protection of our personal territory. Boundaries also “protect our sense of personal identity and help guard against being overwhelmed by the demands of others."²

We can implement our own ideas, or we can learn from others. For example, when we need physical space for a time out, we create a “Do Not Disturb” plaque. We create secret compartments in our houses for special items we do not want family and friends to touch. At our office cubicle, we create rules defining what is and is not acceptable. In public places, we create a diversion from the smiling bystander by directing our gaze toward the billboard.

It is our responsibility to create our blueprint for interaction with others. It helps us decide who fits where inside our space.

Types of Territory in Proxemics*


Body Territory	Primary Territory	Secondary Territory	Public Territory
Invisible bubble we maintain around us	Living space: example, home or car	Structure with reserved entry like school or workplace	Open space like park or shopping mall

2) Control

Bear in mind that we control the space; we do not control the people within the space. It is not our responsibility to force adults to change inappropriate behavior; it is our right to enforce physical or emotional distance if we choose. We do not demand that people enter our space at specific distances against their will; control undermines trust.

We control our space not by manipulating people, but by maintaining the principles which we choose to govern our space.

3) Civility

The Personal Space Expectations Diagram above establishes that the physical space between us and our core family is less than with other individuals. It increases as we move away from intimacy and is greatest with strangers. There are additional common sense rules³ like the following which boost both civility and comfort in our everyday interactions.

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4) Cooperation

Although we cannot compel the people in our space to cooperate, we can encourage them by using the following methods, among others:

Communication will help us understand what causes them to perform contrary to our expectations. We might discover cultural differences as mentioned in the table below.
Concern for the well-being of individuals who do not cooperate will reinforce their sense of worth and may awaken their sense of responsibility. They may interpret concern as support and be motivated to offer their support in turn.
Incentives intangible forms are most appropriate for those at social and public distances like coworkers or community teams, and we can find family-friendly ways to reward those closer to us (for example, hugs and assurances).

It is our responsibility to help bring out the best in others. We can cooperate with those who do not shine in our space by allowing them to find the appropriate distance at which they will.

Culture in Proxemics*

People from the contact culture stand closer together and talk more softly. Those from the non-contact culture utilize more distance, talk more loudly and with wilder gestures.
Types of Culture	Rule on Touch	Sample Territories
Contact Culture	Physical touching permitted and even considered necessary	Latin American, Arab, Italian, French, Turkish
Non-contact Culture	Touching reserved for intimate acquaintances	North American, Norwegian, Japanese, most Southeast Asian

5) Cleanliness

In a physical space, it is our responsibility to keep out dirt, debris, and other environmental hazards.

In a space without walls, it is our responsibility to disconnect from unscrupulous behavior including but not limited to: lying tongues, filthy language, illicit sex, drug abuse, domestic abuse, fraud, and the like.

We have the right to set the standards of cleanliness in our space and to practice zero tolerance toward offenders. We also have the right and responsibility to model the cleanliness we want in our space.

Remember the Following

In our space, we practice our rights and responsibilities primarily for our comfort and safety. Other individuals want the same things we want. They deserve the kind of respect we expect from them.