Cheeky Kid is a cybernaut who spends a lot of time browsing the web, grasping infinite information, and reveling in entertainment and fun.
Are you getting tired of hearing pick-up lines that are either lovey-dovey or cheesy? Are you in a precarious situation where you can’t help but cringe whenever you get wind of them in your eardrums?
Well, it’s time to turn the tables! Let’s give people the opposite of what would normally make their hearts jump around in glee. This is the fateful moment for the mean and insulting pick-up lines to rise and make a comeback!
The pick-up lines you’ll find here come in all shades and colors. They may be mean, insulting, offensive, gross, dirty, or awkward. Most of them are funny though. Just make sure that you deliver them with the precisest timing and subtlety, so that you won’t ever get into trouble.
Outrageously Mean Yet Funny Chat-Up Lines
- My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can’t hold it in.
- Your eyes are as blue as toilet water.
- Honestly, I'm into necrophilia. Wanna come home and play dead?
- Is that a discharge in your underwear, or are you just happy to see me?
- I dreamt about you. You died.
- Are you ice cream? Because your face looks like rocky road.
- I would ask you if you are tired from running through my mind all day, but from the looks of it, you don’t do any running.
- Are you a human? Just making sure.
- Hey, how much?
- Are you the future? Because you’re looking hopeless and bleak.
- For a fatty, you don’t seem to sweat much.
- They all say I'm a pussy. But then again, we are what we eat.
- Are you a motorcycle? Because I'd like to ride you all day, and then sell you for a newer model.
- Are you free tonight, or are you going to cost me?
- Did you just fart? Because you blew me away!
- My mom told me it would be good for my self-esteem if I asked out people who aren't conventionally attractive.
- Are you a mosquito? Because you’re so annoying!
- You remind me of my brother/sister.
- How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you, I would guess.
- Are you a fire alarm? Because you are really loud and annoying!
- Are you an alarm clock? Because I want to kill you.
- You’re the thot that counts!
- Are you a snack? Because everyone eats you for fun.
- Are you poop? Because even when you’re far away, I can smell you.
- Did you fall from heaven? Because so did Satan.
- Do you like to dance? Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend?
- Hey, you dropped something. My standards.
- Wow, you have a the chin of Superman. I bet you could take a serious punch.
- My feelings of love for you are like the stars in the sky. They’re probably long dead.
- You look a lot like my next victim.
- Did you know that a pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes? I bet I can make yours last longer than that.
- On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do I smell like your mom/dad?
- You owe me a drink! You’re so ugly I dropped mine the moment I saw you.
- Are you pi? Because you're being irrational and this conversation is going in circles.
- Are you a tax collector? Because I'm gonna avoid you at all costs!
- Much as I never play with poop, I promise you that I will never play with your heart.
- As long as I have a face, you'll always have a place to sit.
- I'd drink your bathwater.
- This must be puppy love I’m feeling towards you! You remind me of my dear dog.
Rude and Insulting Catchphrases for Flirting
- Are you garbage? Because I want to take you out.
- The more I drink, the more beautiful you become. Cheers!
- Do you like sausages? Because you're the wurst!
- Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!
- I just pooped in my bed. Can I sleep in yours?
- Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 149.6 million kilometers away from me.
- I want to tickle your belly button. From the inside, of course.
- Get on your knees and smile like a doughnut!
- You may not be Jesus, but I’d still nail the heck out of you.
- My love for you is like cancer, it just keeps growing and growing.
- There will only be 7 planets after I destroy Uranus.
- How do you like your eggs in the morning: scrambled, fried, or fertilized?
- Are you a mirror? Because I die a little inside whenever I look at you.
- I think I saw you on TV. Oh yeah, it was on animal planet.
- How are you not cold? You’ve been naked in my mind this whole time.
- Are you a shrimp? Because I don’t need your head. All I want is your body.
- You’re so fine that I wouldn’t care if you were dead or alive!
- Are you a booger? Because I want to pick you first.
- Sit on my face and I’ll guess your weight.
- If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would P on U.
- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? It must have, considering that you clearly landed on your face.
- You smell just like my mom, want to grab a drink?
- Did you fall from heaven? Because it looks like you landed on your face.
- Are you a tumor? Because you grow on me fast. I want to take you out now or die trying.
- Let’s play the Pinocchio game. You sit on my face, and I’ll tell you a lie.
- Are you constipated? Because you are so full of sh*t!
- Since all the hot ones are already taken, this is going to be your lucky night!
- Come with me if you want to live!
- Did you fall from Heaven? Because your face is messed up.
- I hope your knees aren't dirty because I just cleaned my floor.
- You look like a hobo. You can live in my heart if you want.
- You’re as rude as a trespasser! You didn’t even ask permission when entered my heart and thoughts.
- Damn! You're almost as hot as my sister/brother.
- Are you as good as everyone says you are. I’m just curious.
- You’re kind of ugly and fat. Lucky for you, I’m into those things.
- Are you crippling depression and anxiety? Because you haunt me at every waking hour.
- If you were a booger, I'd definitely pick you.
- Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?
- Are you a piece of trash? Because as someone who cares deeply about the environment, I am obligated to pick you up.
- Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because your pants are big enough to fit one.
- You may not be good-looking, but I still like you.
Hilariously Offensive Conversation Starters
- To be honest, you reek! Do you want to shower together?
- Whenever I see kites flying in the sky, I think of you. Just like them, you’re only beautiful at a distance.
- I like my partners like how i like my fast-food meals. Extra large!
- Sit on my face, and I'll eat my way to your heart.
- I bet your muffled screams are as cute as you.
- Excuse me, I just farted over there. Can I stand here with you?
- Didn’t I just see you on the “Most Wanted” list?
- Are you a durian? Because you’re a total snack, but you smell like rotting flesh.
- If I was a fly, I’d be all over you. Why? Because you’re sh*t!
- Your eyes are as blue as the ocean I dumped my ex’s body in.
- Did something bad happen to you, or are you just naturally ugly?
- If you were a comatose patient, I’d pull the plug.
- Are you water? Because you don’t taste like anything.
- I wish I was menstruation, so I could visit you once every month.
- I can’t help but gravitate towards you. It must be your incredible mass that’s creating the gravitational pull.
- I like you like my coffee. Bitter!
- Are you the square root of -1? Because you're imaginary.
- I put the “std” in “stud.” The only thing I need now is “u.”
- I’m willing to lower my standards if you go on a date with me.
- I love you so much that If you were suddenly on fire, I’d pee on you.
- Hold still, there’s a mosquito on your ass.
- I accidentally pooped in my pants. Can I get into yours?
- Are you cancer? Because you're starting to grow on me.
- Do you want to be disappointed tonight?
- Do you like seafood? Because I’ve got plenty of crabs.
- Roses are red, violets are blue. I'm using my hand, and thinking of you.
- Are you feeling down? Because I can feel you up.
- You must be really sweet, seeing how all of your teeth are rotten.
- You're like the neighbors' WiFi. Everyone wants to use you.
- You’re like a low-life bandit. I’ll give you everything so please don’t hurt me.
- Are you Ebola? Because you melt my insides.
- I love you so much I would eat the corn from your poop.
- How are you still so fat when you’ve been running in my mind for so long?
oo on July 06, 2020:
criston moses on February 28, 2020:
you are so sweet when you fart it smells like purfiume
Sammy on December 01, 2019:
Lol I said these to my sister because I was mad at her and not she's even more mad at me. Worth it though!
Olivia on November 10, 2019:
Lol this is so funny
Dina Sostarec from Osijek, Croatia on August 03, 2019:
These are awesome, I'll definitely be sharing them in the hopes of finding someone as thick-skinned!