How to Hug a Girl: Tips for Shy Guys to Give Friendly and Romantic Hugs to Girls

Updated on June 7, 2019
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Learn the best hugging techniques for female friends, girlfriends, and crushes.
Learn the best hugging techniques for female friends, girlfriends, and crushes. | Source

How Should You Hug a Girl?

How do you hug a girl? The thought of hugging a girl can make a shy guy or complete introvert pretty nervous. Even the most casual exchanges of physical intimacy can be awkward for someone who is not too comfortable with the opposite sex. From cute and friendly hugs to warm and romantic ones, this article gives tips on how a guy can ease himself into becoming comfortable with hugging a girl, whether she is a friend, crush, or his first girlfriend.

13 Tips for Hugging a Girl

  1. Smile as you walk toward her to gauge whether or not you should give her a hug.
  2. Walk slowly and calmly toward her.
  3. Don't hold your arms wide open from too far away.
  4. Carry yourself confidently as you walk to the girl.
  5. Maintain eye contact and greet her as you come closer.
  6. Open your arms wide during your last few steps.
  7. Decide the side on which you are going to tilt your neck.
  8. Lean in slightly—don't lean in to the extent that only your shoulders touch.
  9. Know where to keep your hands during the hug.
  10. Don't let your hands slide down the girl's lower back.
  11. Don't flinch or act awkward during the hug.
  12. Don't let go immediately; don't hold on too long, either.
  13. Avoid the awkward moment after a hug by preparing a post-hug conversation starter.

1. Smile as you walk toward her to gauge whether or not you should give her a hug.

A cute smile will immediately break the ice, even when you are at a distance. If she returns a warm smile, you can take it as a sign that hugging her probably won't make the situation awkward.

2. Walk slowly and calmly toward her.

Walking too fast can make you seem over-eager. It will also reveal your nervousness and might make you give off strange vibes. Act natural by walking calmly and slowly as if you were strolling in the park.

3. Don't hold your arms wide open from too far away.

Unless you are a boyfriend meeting your girlfriend after many weeks or months of not seeing each other, avoid the faux pas of holding your arms wide open as you walk toward the girl—you will freak her out and make her wonder why you're so excited. Keep your hands at your sides and walk normally as you approach her.

4. Carry yourself confidently as you walk to the girl.

Most of the time, lack of confidence is a deal-breaker when it comes to shy guys interacting with girls. Even if you have the biggest crush on the girl you are about to hug, you need to get a grip on your nerves and display a high level of confidence.

Here are a few tips for maintaining good posture as you walk toward a girl to hug her:

  • Keep your shoulders broad, but don't be stiff.
  • Relax and take a deep breath.
  • Keep your hands at your sides.
  • Don't stoop—keep your back straight.
  • Hold your head high; don't look down.

If you remain confident as you approach the girl you're hugging, she will be relaxed, and the situation won't be awkward.
If you remain confident as you approach the girl you're hugging, she will be relaxed, and the situation won't be awkward. | Source

5. Maintain eye contact and greet her as you come closer.

Guys must realize that one of the easiest ways to understand a woman is to look into her eyes. Remember this and maintain constant eye contact with a girl as you approach her to give her a hug. Greet her with a "hi" or "hey, what's up?"

The few words exchanged with her will further relax you and reduce any bit of nervousness you may still feel. It will also lay the foundation for the critical after-hug conversation.

6. Open your arms wide during your last few steps.

Give the girl a sign that you are going to hug her by opening up your arms wide during your last few steps. Make sure that your effort is not half-hearted. Keep your palms open and your elbows stretched out.

7. Decide the side on which you are going to tilt your neck.

Just like how you would give her a kiss, you must decide which way you are going to tilt your neck when you hug a girl. She will instantly spot your nervousness if you wait for her to choose a side.

Once you tilt your head to one side and go in for the hug, don't fumble and move your head the other way. Ideally, the girl will tilt her neck to the opposite side, and both of you will seamlessly fit into each other like a hand in a glove.

8. Lean in slightly—don't lean to the extent that only your shoulders touch.

Lean in toward the girl when you hug her, but don't lean to the extent that only your shoulders touch. Your entire bodies don't need to be touching, but as a rule of thumb, make sure that at least your torsos from the navels up are touching as you hug her.

If she's your girlfriend, the hug might transition into a more romantic embrace, like in the photo above. If she's not your girlfriend, don't risk touching her hair or moving your hands down her back without her consent.
If she's your girlfriend, the hug might transition into a more romantic embrace, like in the photo above. If she's not your girlfriend, don't risk touching her hair or moving your hands down her back without her consent. | Source

9. Know where to keep your hands during the hug.

Guys who are shy often fumble with their hands when they hug a girl. Here are some basic guidelines that will help you to be more comfortable with your hands when you hug a girl:

  • Don't clench your palms into fists.
  • The safest position is to rest one of your hands on her upper back just below the shoulders and the other on her lower back just above her hips.
  • Unless she is your girlfriend or someone you have known for many years, don't caress her or wriggle your hands around on her back.

10. Don't let your hands slide down below the girl's lower back.

It is one thing if you feel like putting your hand on your girlfriend's bum while you give her a naughty hug (make sure she's okay with it first, even if she is your girlfriend). But if she is not your girlfriend, she is not likely to prefer feeling your hand on her butt.

Be firm but gentle as you place your hand on her lower back. The slightest slip down to her bum could be embarrassing for both of you.

Hugs can be cute and friendly—they don't have to be an awkward and scary experience!
Hugs can be cute and friendly—they don't have to be an awkward and scary experience! | Source

11. Dealing with physical intimacy—don't flinch or act awkward when you hug a girl.

A shy guy or an introvert who feels nervous about approaching girls may feel awkward while hugging a girl for many reasons:

  • Hugging a girl may excite him.
  • Any kind of physical closeness with a girl makes him nervous.
  • He gets turned on by the hug.

If you can relate to any of these reasons, mentally disassociate them from the act of giving a hug. Remind yourself that a hug is simply a warm, friendly gesture, much like shaking a hand with another guy. It does not need to be a big deal at all.

12. Don't let go immediately; don't hug for too long, either.

Letting go of a hug immediately will result in an awkward vibe while holding on to her for too long might make you look like a weirdo. Unfortunately, there is no fixed time in any rule book that dictates the number of seconds you should hug a girl, but anywhere between two to four seconds should be okay.

13. Avoid the awkward moment after a hug by preparing a post-hug conversation starter.

For a shy guy, the feeling of awkwardness does not end when the hug ends. The real challenge begins after the hug because he is likely to have nothing to say to her.

If you can relate to this situation, think of a few conversation starters before you give her a hug. Be calm so that your hug naturally transforms into a warm and friendly conversation.

Tips for Giving a Girl a Friendly Hug

Keep these things in mind when you are giving a hug to a girl who is just a friend or someone you are meeting for the first time:

  • Be gentle and casual—don't give her a tight hug.
  • Don't let your hug last for more than a few seconds.
  • Don't move your hands around on her back.
  • Keep talking while hugging her.

Tips for Giving a Girl a Romantic Hug

Giving your girlfriend a hug? Make every second of it romantic with these tips:

  • Hug her tightly.
  • Let out a loving sigh.
  • Caress her back with your palms.
  • Whisper something in her ear as you hug her.
  • Let her rest her head on your shoulders.
  • Lift her as you hug her.
  • Touch your foreheads together and gaze into her eyes as you release the embrace.

Comments

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    • profile image

      Dudeman 

      5 weeks ago

      Hoping for the best... fingers crossed... spoiler alert. NAILED IT

    • profile image

      Jake 

      6 weeks ago

      I held her hand but i want to hug then go for the kiss

    • profile image

      Ēko Maniac 

      2 months ago

      I'm a female, and I'm madly in love with this other girl, but she's straight... Anyways, I have always wanted to at least hug her, but I guess I was too nervous 'til now... Hopefully this works?

    • profile image

      Vishwas Kaushik 

      3 months ago

      Thank you so much for that but i don't know the right place to hug her

    • profile image

      Michael 

      3 months ago

      I'm so nervous to hug my girlfriend and I also don't now good places to hug?

    • profile image

      andrew 

      3 months ago

      im so excited but nervous, this was helpful and i will take notes. this is probably gonna be the first hug on my gf, and i dont wanna make it awkward so wish me luck

    • profile image

      Krisstylers 

      6 months ago

      I am so shameful and nervous to hug a girl help,,,,,

    • profile image

      Scott 

      7 months ago

      Really great advice!!! But I don't know how to hug her. She's shameful and so am I. I really want to kiss her and hug her.

    • profile image

      Jamie 

      8 months ago

      I've always been told I'm a good hugger, at both one-arm and two-arms, but always after a hug, i'm like, "sh*t. what do i do???" This really helped because some of my hugs are followed by side-eyes from me or the other, others by an awkward smile. I'd had maybe 5-10 'perfect hugs' before I read this, but as I'm typing this I just saw my best friend for a couple minutes and there wasn't one awkward moment in hat conversation. Thanks!!!

    • profile image

      ethan 

      9 months ago

      i guess I could try. I am pretty shy tho

    • profile image

      julio 

      10 months ago

      it actually works

    • profile image

      Peter 

      11 months ago

      I am scared to hug her .what to do

    • profile image

      quenton mude 

      11 months ago

      im scared to talk to a girl i have a crush on

    • profile image

      Rashid 

      20 months ago

      I have a friend It's a girl though i was her friend on wednesday i Hugged her at lunch and After school She Hugged Me again Today at lunch

    • profile image

      Kite 

      20 months ago

      Here goes nothing lol im xited

    • profile image

      Joe 

      2 years ago

      I'm so nervous to hug her

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