How to hug a girl: Tips for shy guys to give friendly and romantic hugs to girls

Updated on August 28, 2013
Master the art of giving hugs.
Master the art of giving hugs. | Source

How to hug a girl? For a guy who is shy or a complete introvert, the thought of hugging a girl can make him nervous. Even the most casual forms of physical intimacy can become awkward for someone who is not too comfortable with the opposite sex. From cute and friendly hugs to warm and romantic ones - this post gives tips on how a guy can ease himself into becoming comfortable with hugging a girl whether she is a friend, crush or his first girlfriend.

1) Smile as you walk towards her: Gauge whether you should give her a hug or not

A cute smile will immediately break the ice between you and the girl even when you are far away at a distance. If she gives you back a warm smile, you can take it as a sign that giving her a hug won't create an awkward scene.

2) Walk slowly and calmly towards her

Walking too fast in haste will be a brash display of your eagerness to hug a girl. It will also reveal your nervousness and you will give off strange vibes. Be a natural by walking calmly and slowly as if you were strolling in the park.

3) Don't hold your arms wide open from early on

Unless you are a boyfriend meeting your girlfriend after many weeks or months, avoid making the faux pas of holding your arms wide open as you walk towards the girl.

You will freak the girl out and make her think 'Why is he so excited?' Keep your hands to your side and walk normally as you approach her.

4) Carry a confident body posture as you walk to the girl

Most of the times, lack of confidence is definitely a deal breaker when it comes to shy guys interacting with girls. Even if you have the biggest crush on the girl you are about to hug, you must get a grip over your nerves and display high level of confidence.

Here are a few tips to carry a good posture as you walk towards a girl to give her a hug.

  • Keep your shoulders broad, but don't be stiff
  • Free the nervousness by relaxing and taking a deep breath
  • Keep your hands to your sides
  • Don't stoop – keep a straight back
  • Hold your head high, don't look down

Keep eye contact and greet her as you go in for your hug.
Keep eye contact and greet her as you go in for your hug.

5) Maintain eye contact and greet her as you come closer

Guys must realize that one of the easiest ways to understand a woman is to look into her eyes. Remember this and maintain constant eye contact with a girl as you approach to hug her. Greet her with a Hi or Hey, what's up.

The few words exchanged with her will further loosen you up and reduce any bit of nervousness left within you. It will also lay the foundation for the critical after-hug conversation.

6) Open your arms wide on your last few steps

Give your girl the first sign that you are going to give her a hug by opening up your arms wide on your last few steps. Make sure that your effort is not half-hearted. Keep your palms open and your elbows stretched out.

7) Decide the side on which you are going to tilt your neck

Just like how you would give her a kiss, you must decide which way you are going to tilt your neck when you hug a girl. She will instantly spot your nervousness if you wait for her to choose a side.

Once you tilt your head to one side and go in for the hug, don't fumble and move your head the other way. Ideally, the girl will tilt her neck to the opposite side and the both of you will seamlessly fit into each other like hand in glove.

8) Lean in slightly: Don't lean to the extent that only your shoulders touch

Lean in towards the girl when you hug her, but don't lean to the extent that only your shoulders touch. Your entire bodies don't need to be touching but as a rule of thumb, make sure that at least your torso from the navel up are touching each other as you give her a hug.

Never make the mistake of placing your hands on her bum if you are giving a friendly hug.
Never make the mistake of placing your hands on her bum if you are giving a friendly hug.

9) Knowing where to keep your hands while you hug a girl

Guys who are shy often fumble with their hands when they hug a girl. Here are some basic guidelines which will help you be more comfortable with your hands when you hug a girl.

  • Don't clench your palms into fists
  • The safest position is to rest on of your hands on her upper back just below the shoulders, and the other on her lower back just above her hips
  • Unless she is your girlfriend or someone you have known for many years, don't caress or wriggle your hands around on her back

10) Don't let your hand slide down below the girl's lower back

It is one thing if you feel like putting your hand on your girlfriend's bum while you give her a naughty hug. But if she is not your girlfriend, she is not likely to prefer feeling your hand on her butt.

Be firm but gentle as you place your hand on her lower back. The slightest slip down to her bum could be an embarrassing move for both of you.

11) Dealing with physical intimacy: Don't flinch or feel awkward when you hug a girl

A shy guy or an introvert who feels nervous about approaching girls often feels awkward while hugging a girl for many reasons, including the below.

  • Hugging a girl may excite him
  • Any kind of physical closeness with a girl makes him nervous
  • He gets turned on by the hug

If you can relate to any of these reasons, mentally disassociate them from the act of giving a hug. Remind yourself that a hug is simply a warm friendly gesture, much like shaking a hand with another guy. It does not need to be a big deal at all.

12) Don't let go immediately, don't hug for too long either

Letting go of a hug immediately will lead to an awkward vibe, while holding on to her for too long will make you look like a weirdo. There is no fixed time in any rule book which dictates the number of seconds you should hug a girl for, but anywhere between two to four seconds should be okay.

13) Avoid the awkward moment after a hug with a conversation starter

For a shy guy, the feeling of awkwardness does not end when the hug gets over. The real challenge actually begins now because he is likely to have nothing to say to her.

If you can relate to such a situation, think about a few conversation starters before you give her a hug. Be calm so that your hug naturally transforms into a warm and friendly conversation.

Tips to give a girl a friendly hug

Keep these things in mind when you are giving a hug to a girl who is just a friend or someone you are meeting for the first time.

  • Be gentle and casual – don't give her a tight hug
  • Don't let your hug last for more than a few seconds
  • Don't move your hands on her back
  • Keep talking while giving her a hug

Tips to give a girl a romantic hug

Giving a hug to your girlfriend? Make every second of it romantic with these tips.

  • Hug her tightly
  • Let out a loving sigh
  • Caress her back with your palms
  • Whisper something in her ear as you hug her
  • Allow her to rest her head on your shoulders
  • Lift her as you give her a hug
  • Touch your foreheads together and gaze into her eyes as you let go of the hug


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      Rashid 5 months ago

      I have a friend It's a girl though i was her friend on wednesday i Hugged her at lunch and After school She Hugged Me again Today at lunch

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      Kite 5 months ago

      Here goes nothing lol im xited

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      Joe 11 months ago

      I'm so nervous to hug her