How to Make Someone "Dead to You"
No actual people were harmed in the making of this article. This hub is not a how to on how to off someone or make someone disappear. "Dead to you" means the person is metaphorical dead but still very much alive and well.
When you should make someone dead . . .
This decision is a very difficult one to make and should not be taken lightly. The "dead to me" strategy means that the person is really dead to you. So, you should think long and hard about if you are really ready to take this step. In order for the "dead to me" strategy to work as a concept, it does not allow for temporary death or resurrections. It has to final. If you are wishy-washy about it, people will not take you seriously and you end up in a cycle of game-playing that will never end.
You should only undertake this step if you have:
- reached your limit and maxed out your tolerance for a particular person or his/her behaviors;
- no longer need this person for any reason and will no longer need this person at any point in your life;
- have been so deeply hurt or offended that no apologizes or separation will allow you to move on together in this world;
- truly and 100% believe that your life would be better and more enjoyable without having to deal with a particular person;
- you have already given out all your second chances and have no more to give;
- there is no alternative or compromise.
Obviously, you can't make this decision in the heat of the moment. It is a decision that much be carefully thought out. There are people that you can't really make dead to you like your boss (until you quit or get fired) because you have to probably talk to and communicate with the person and have at least some interaction with on a regular basis or your family members that you live with or take care of and have to see and talk to on a daily basis. You probably shouldn't make your children or parents dead to you unless you plan on never, ever repairing these relationships.
People you can easily kill off:
- exes of all kinds such as boyfriends and girlfriends in which no children resulted from the relationship;
- friends or so-called friends;
- former co-workers, classmates, or associates.
Advantages of the "Dead to Me" Strategy
There are several advantages to declaring someone "dead to me." Here are the most important:
- achievement of the end of whatever conflict that has caused hurt feelings and general upsetted-ness, as it is now automatically over;
- automatic renewal of existing friendship as you are now free from boring others with repeated and endless discussions of the offending persons about what they did, how they did it and how you are going to get them back;
- freedom from negative thoughts of revenge;
- elimination of all chances of the offending persons ever hurting you again;
- permission never to talk to the offending persons again in life.
A word of caution ~ you can employ this strategy too liberally and declare everyone dead and end up alone and lonely. So, save it for when you really need it.
On the other hand, you might feel that this strategy is too harsh. Keep in mind that it is really reserved for extreme situations in which you must preserve your own health and well-being and look out for you. In other words, you have no choice.
It is most important to remember that you are the only one who can really take care of you.
Not everyone in this world can be redeemed or saved. Some people do not care for others. And, no matter how hard you try, they may never learn how to be a good companion, friend, co-worker, boss, or family member. When you have people in your life who are constantly treating you like trash, harming you and offering no positive benefit to your life, then you might have to employ this strategy to save yourself and stop the harm. Use this strategy which you want to be free from the constant pain. You will find this mental strategy will provide you with a sense of freedom and help you regain your own individual power.