How to Catch a Lying, Cheating Thief

Updated on November 28, 2016

Filthy Liar...

There are those in this world that would rather lie for some reason.

Okay, so it’s true that nobody’s perfect; we’ve all told lies or little white lies at least. There’s that and the habitual or pathological liar; they not only lie, but cheat and steal as well. The way that you can identify them is that they lie about everything, even if it’s an exaggeration, a stretched truth (which isn’t lying to them, just spicing it up).

I’ve had a friend in the past who was a pathological liar, and probably still is. It wasn’t enough that few people liked him in the first place, but the fact that he was a deceiver cemented his place as a figure of contempt throughout the school and neighbourhood.

Even if it was the smallest things, like what he was having for supper, there was that need to lie all the time, like a compulsion. Sometimes it was to impress his friends, to improve his standing with them. He lied about his possessions, clothes, his parents and their occupations, and many other things too.

I’m sure that quite a few of ‘his’ possessions weren’t actually his. I know this because he told me.

The thing is that if he can steal from others and tell you, how comfortable would you feel? He could very well steal from you next.

And so he did. I once left my jersey at his house, and he had the cheek to wear it to school on the next civvies day when we were allowed to wear casual clothes. Of course, when I confronted him about it, he told me that it was his brother’s jersey, which was funny, because that’s exactly what I had told him, that it was my brother's jersey. And the chances of there being two hideous jerseys like that in the same neighbourhood let alone the same universe are pretty slim.

Then in addition, there’s the B.S-ing, where they ramp things up, once again, to impress people, while in reality (something they’re not comfortable with) it actually provokes the opposite emotion.

Some say that liars belong to Satan, the father of lies. Scientists maintain that these pathological liars have more grey matter and less white matter in their brains; this is supposedly because of their lack of inhibition when it comes to deception of any sort.

The worst (or best, depending on how you see it) part of all this is when you can actually find out they are lying. This changes everything; you are no longer a stupid mark that’s manipulated and tricked, you become wise and are able to see through things, like you just acquired a pair of x-ray specs. Even better, is when you can spot a lie, and then counter-attack by telling one yourself, showing that you are able to play their little game and weave your own web of deceit. It might even be better if they can tell when you are lying, because then they will really feel it, and the best part of it is that they can’t really do anything about it, because if they condemn you or confront you about your ways, you can shoot them down with your knowledge and evidence of their past transgressions against you; you could even add in the part that you are teaching them a lesson: “Not so nice, is it?”.

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A lie detector test might not even work on pathological liars.
A lie detector test might not even work on pathological liars.
A lie detector test might not even work on pathological liars. | Source

"When I confronted him about it, he told me that it was his brother’s jersey. The chances of there being two hideous jerseys like that in the same neighbourhood let alone the same universe are pretty slim."

The other option is to confront them directly about their actions. The only thing with this is that sometimes their lies are so intricate, perhaps even with half-truths woven in here and there, that you are uneasy and even unsure about doing this, because they might actually be telling the truth for once, and you are labeled as a doubter or a hater. You really need proof of their lies and other negative behaviour, like cheating and stealing, because what are the odds of them admitting it in an ‘honest’ conversation? One lie can just be covered with another one quite easily.

One of the best ways I’ve found, to uncover the truth, is to speak to someone who knows them. Maybe they’re friends with that person or perhaps they at least go to the same school, workplace or hang out at the same places. I’ve done this before, when I’ve actually asked a girl who some guy said he’d slept with if that was true. She of course said it wasn’t, but then people might just lie once again to cover something like that up, or risk getting a bad reputation. I also happened to ask if there was a wild party at the house that night with drugs and her friend who also happened to be there denied the whole thing; they both shook their heads, and so I then felt satisfied that I had gotten the truth about that night at last.

What was worse and this is another thing to watch out for, is that he not only lied about his little liaison, but he said that it had been unprotected as well. When he told me that, because we were ‘friends’, I was shocked and I actually fell for it because of the high risk of HIV/AIDS and everything nowadays, and I kind of felt sorry for him. This is another sort of trick used by liars: sympathy. It lends credence to the story that they are weaving and brings out an emotion within you. Then they’ve got you, hook, line and sinker. It’s almost as though you’ve built up a tolerance level to it all, and they feel that you’re not buying it and so they need to raise the bar a little even if it means evoking fear in you.

When I saw him again though after all my investigating, he basically came out about the whole thing, in his own way that is. He said that he had phoned the girl that he had allegedly slept with and she had told him that it didn’t go that far, because he was too drunk and high. When I spoke to her, she assured me that it didn’t go anywhere at all. She was a tease after all, not a whore.

The one way that you can get your own back without lying on your part or even digging for the truth elsewhere, although it may be a little malicious, is to pretend that you are indeed buying into it, and to then ‘overreact’ and go and tell other people, “Oh did you hear? So-and-so has an infection!”

Then when word gets back to him, you can just maintain that you were trying to help him by getting people to understand his situation, and that you were really worried about his health.

Okay, so that’s very malicious and can even land you in trouble, until that is, he comes clean about it, then you can all be mad at him again like usual.

If he’s stolen something, particularly if it belongs to you, you could phone the police. It is a crime after all.

I don’t know why when people have some sort of emotional attachment to someone who does illegal things they can’t seem to do anything right and teach them a lesson or have the guts to at least confront them. They are not above the law or anyone else. Wouldn’t it be great after all the misery he’s put you through to see him carted off in the back of a van?

Then you can say, “Tell it to the judge!”

“Liars ought to have good memories”

— Algernon Sidney

Do you know any liars?

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Questions & Answers

    © 2009 Anti-Valentine


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      • profile image

        Sumiko 5 months ago

        Well this guy in my art class stole half of my kneaded eraser. He was sticking his hands in his pockets a lot and messing with something. Then he’s looking up the price and tells me and my trusted friends “it’s only 68 cents” but that doesn’t give ANYONE the right to steal. And if he didn’t steal it why is he looking it up if it wasn’t his business anyway! Then he starts accusing my friends! I’m not even mad because of the cost or anything but you just don’t do that.

      • profile image

        Allison 2 years ago

        I know a guy (we aren't close friends or anything) that stole a bunch of my medication, and when I confronted him about it he played the whole "Unlike most people, I am not a thief, and have integrity. I would never steal stuff. If I did I wouldn't lie about it, I would just f*****g tell you cause I wouldn't give a sh*t." Well, I know his brother and talked to him about it and he texted me a screenshot of texts from his brother admitting that he did steal them and laughing about it. I didn't talk to the guy for a whille and then was stupid enough to let him come by to pick up like 3 bags of brand new clothes I never wore and toys for his wife and daughter, and while he was in my apartment I went into my room to grab the bags and when I came out he was holding my box of medication (suboxone strips that come individually wrapped with a barcode on each one that can be scanned by doctors or police to find out who the medication belongs to) and he was acting like he was reading the information on it (bullsh*t). I honestly didn't think anything of it and when he left I helped him carry the bags and even said that I hope know one goes in to my apartment and steals my meds. he acted anxious when I made the joke, and I even said that if someone did I would hope they would at least leave me some. Well, later the next day I went to take my dose of medicine for the day and noticed the box was way lighter than it should be cause I had just gotten my meds filled. I counted them and half of them (I get 75 a month) were gone. I freaked out and searched my apartment (like I would accidentally put my medicine in the freezer) and of course they weren't there. Then I remember him coming over the day before and pawing my medicine box, and my stomach sank. Its my own fault, I should never have let him in my place. I don't know what to do. I really need my meds and they aren't meds that can be refilled (and i dont want my doctor to think i am just trying to get more early). What would you guys do if you were me?

      • profile image

        unknownassassin 4 years ago

        ...someone took ALL my pens and pencils at school today. Wasn't looking, was late for my next class, and when I came back, realizing that I left them in my last class, they were gone, as were most people in the room. Frustrating. I will report them as soon as I know who took them. Good ideas, thank you!

      • ii3rittles profile image

        ii3rittles 7 years ago

        One of the best quotes...

        "Liars never fear because they have nothing to lose"

        Most liars (Like LIE everyday liars) are very miserable and misery loves company so they lie to be more appealing to other people. They have no "true" friends because they based their friendship upon lies, there for, they have nothing to lose!

      • profile image

        Burned sister 7 years ago

        My sister stole 30,000.00 from me and the courts have cost me 5000.00 so far and not results yet. Why is our justice system so messed up?

      • profile image

        anna 7 years ago

        That's the problem, I don't name my clothing but there is no possibility of her having them. They were bought or made and some are very sentimental.. Then there's the iphone, sunglasses and such but I think you're right police is the best way to deal with it. She has cheated, lied and been down right scary in the past, so if I can get more proof I think its time she learns the difference between right and wrong. Saddest part is she was a friend, but I can't trust her and am now less trustworthy of others around me.

        Thank you so much for your advice.

      • Anti-Valentine profile image

        Anti-Valentine 7 years ago from My lair

        Anna, you should really think about getting the police in on this one.

        Not only is she a liar, but she's stolen things from you. If you have a way to prove that they belong to you, such as your name engraved on jewelry, and your name on the collar, or hidden on clothes or something, then it would make it a lot easier to prove she's a thief.

        Once the police get involved, you'll be able to get all your stuff back. She won't need it seeing as she'll be in jail. Doubt it would be for long though. But on the plus side it would likely make the college she attends kick her out, and you wouldn't have to deal with her any more.

        Likely a criminal record would make it hard for her to get an education or find a job, but remember that she brought it on herself.

      • profile image

        anna 7 years ago

        I'm dealing with one who I live at collage with.. She's stolen over 3000 dollars worth of stuff from me, and had the guts to wear it when she went home. Luckily another girl from school saw so know I can confirm the girl is a pathological liar and thief. Only now I need to figure out a way to get my stuff back!

      • profile image

        gopal 7 years ago

        nice and conclusion can be "never explain yourselves as who donot understands u will never believe it and who understands u never need it........

      • Anti-Valentine profile image

        Anti-Valentine 7 years ago from My lair

        Thanks. I've known people who lie my whole life. Some of them in my own family. But it's lies, lies, lies... all the time.

        Sometimes when it's one every now and again it isn't so bad, or at least we think it's not, but it actually is.

      • susanlang profile image

        susanlang 7 years ago

        A wonderful hub on liars and such. I know some of those types.

      • Anti-Valentine profile image

        Anti-Valentine 8 years ago from My lair

        Aren't we all. :)

      • profile image

        young cage  8 years ago

        I am dealing with some of the same issues

      • Anti-Valentine profile image

        Anti-Valentine 8 years ago from My lair

        The most comments I've ever received in 18 hours! Stacie L,

        anjalichugh, and sandra rinck, thanks so much for commenting.

        Sandra, I know exactly what it's like to be plotted against, stabbed in the back, and used as a scapegoat. I know what you mean, and it's terrible.

      • profile image

        sandra rinck 8 years ago

        The best liars are the ones who plot it before they wield it. Anit-Valentine, ever been the unsuspecting scapegoat who walked into a web without warning?

        This is the most frustrating. Currently being the ideal scapegoat for a web of lies that a couple of people created, the only thing I can do is just say nothing.

        When this started happening to me, I was pretty pissed off. Out of nowhere I was being blamed for things. So I played the game and did exactly as my prosecutor suggested which basically made me their house bitch. I still did it with my head up and let the truth unfold. I was not happy the entire time except for the part about knowing that the truth will show itself.

        As the deceit continued eventually their true colors shined through and it is to my knowledge that liars always make it known about what they are.

        Great hub.

      • anjalichugh profile image

        anjalichugh 8 years ago from New York

        Your hub reminded me of two old sayings :

        'You need to have an excellent memory to be a good liar.' and

        'Don't ask questions don't hear lies'.

        Trust me I follow the second principle in my everyday life because I know one thing for sure...People lie all the time.

        Thumbs up for this great hub.

      • Stacie L profile image

        Stacie L 8 years ago

        it's too much work to be friends with a liar...good hub.

      • Anti-Valentine profile image

        Anti-Valentine 8 years ago from My lair

        Thanks Lgali.

      • Lgali profile image

        Lgali 8 years ago

        very nice one