4 Effective Ways to Build Character & Gain Admiration

Updated on June 20, 2018
Farawaytree profile image

Writing about how we behave in society is of continual interest to Michelle. Human emotions and social etiquette are among her prized topics

How to gain real admiration and improve your character
How to gain real admiration and improve your character | Source

Everyone wants to be liked to some degree (even if they won't admit it). Being liked tends to make us feel validated and important. But being liked isn't the same as being admired.

Admiration is when someone respects a quality or skill that you have. Not only do they enjoy being in your presence, but they consider you to be a person they can look up to and learn from.

In these days of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and such, it's easy to get caught up in the wave of "liking" and "following". To be "liked" and "followed" is a validation of sorts for people online.

Social media following can give the illusion that you're popular, and you feel satisfied that you have groups of people paying attention to what you post. Unfortunately, it's just not the same as being truly admired for what you do in real life. There's a big difference.

So how does one go about being admired? It's not as easy as it sounds. Being admired for being beautiful or wealthy isn't exactly what I'm talking about. I'm talking about developing a strength of character that attracts sincere admiration. Here are some ways to work on strengthening your character:

"To be the kind of person people admire you need to practice being true to your word. Generally when you say you're going to do something and you actually do it 99% of the time, you earn respect."

1. Check Your Vanity At The Door

We are all vain to varying degrees, but one thing about vanity is that if you are inclined to only be interested in yourself, don't expect people to want to hang on your every word.

If all you talk about is your life, your goals, your problems, people tend to start drifting away.

Being vain is the easiest way to lose credibility and respect, so it's unlikely that vanity will help gain serious admiration.

Gaining admiration has nothing to do with self-glorification. It has everything to do with living in such as way that you have integrity and modesty.

People don't admire those who are always self-absorbed and only out for their own interests.

Check your ego
Check your ego | Source

2. Stick To Your Word

To be the kind of person people admire you'll need to practice being true to your word. Generally, when you say you're going to do something and you actually do it 99% of the time, you earn respect. People who talk a good game but never follow through are often cast off in people's minds as being unreliable.

The people who are admired are those who say what they mean, mean what they say, and back it up with action. The phrase, "actions speak louder than words" is accurate here. Talk is not enough. People admire those who act and accomplish. They trust and admire their ability to stay true to their word.

"Talk is not enough. People admire those who act and accomplish. They trust and admire their ability to stay true to their word."

3. Lose The Gossip

Gossiping is probably the fastest way to lose respect and never gain admiration. Have you ever listened to someone telling tales of another person's misfortune or making assumptions about them and wondered what they are saying about you behind your back?

Well, they're probably gossiping about you, and they aren't gaining anything from spreading other people's business like wildfire.

Minding your own business and focusing on your own life is what gains you admiration from others. Everyone knows how easy it is to fall into the gossip trap, and those who are able to ignore it and rise above it show discipline and strength in character. Those are the people you trust and admire.


"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless."

4. Focus On Solutions

No one likes a whiner, and if all you do is walk around complaining about problems instead of trying to be part of the solution, no one is ever going to look to you when they need help.

Being a helper instead of a complainer builds admiration, especially in a working environment. There's always that one person everyone goes to for help on the job. They are usually reliable, capable, and sincerely interested in helping you.

People often like to commiserate with each other for sympathy purposes, but being that person who doesn't dwell on difficulties, and spends their time looking for a way to fix issues, is admirable.

Those who complain often get attention quickly, but it doesn't last and it doesn't build respect. Eventually, those people just become the type everyone wants to avoid.

Making an effort to be kind & positive can go a long way
Making an effort to be kind & positive can go a long way | Source

"Those who complain often get attention quickly, but it doesn't last and it doesn't build respect. Eventually those people just become the type everyone wants to avoid."

Wouldn't you rather be admired than avoided?

As I said, if you do care even a little bit what people think of you, you should try reevaluating your priorities.Try saying positive things instead of negative. Try being a fixer instead of complaining nothing is fair.

Try taking the high road when gossip surrounds you. Try to develop an interest in others, not just yourself.

Being admired is a delightful feeling. It's something to be proud of. It's not about ego or fandom. It's about having integrity, respect, and genuine concern for others.

Think about those you admire and the qualities they possess and learn from them. Building character takes time, practice, and the desire to be and do better.

Maya Angelou - a much respected person of character
Maya Angelou - a much respected person of character | Source

"There is a universal respect and even admiration for those who are humble and simple by nature, and who have absolute confidence in all human beings irrespective of their social status."

Questions & Answers

    © 2015 Michelle Zunter


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      • MarleneB profile image

        Marlene Bertrand 

        2 years ago from USA

        Very wise words. I agree with everything you say here. All are very valid points. One thing I try to do best is to mind my own business and stay as far away from drama as possible. My sister use to say, "If there is drama on the left, I'll go to the right. If there is drama on the right, I'll go to the left."

      • Farawaytree profile imageAUTHOR

        Michelle Zunter 

        2 years ago from California

        Thanks for reading

      • erorantes profile image

        Ana Maria Orantes 

        2 years ago from Miami Florida

        I like your hub. I like mother Teresa"s picture. I enjoyed reading your hub. Some of your words are wise. Thank you for writing about important things about how to behave around others and in our own. It is good to know other people's expectations. You did a great job miss farawaytree.


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