100+ Funny and Witty Replies to "I Hate You!"

Updated on February 14, 2019
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Funny and Witty Replies to "I Hate You!"
Funny and Witty Replies to "I Hate You!" | Source

“I hate you!”

These three words are so strong they can shatter any heart or soul. However, it doesn’t have to be that way. You have the power to react as you see fit. The only time that this remark can have an effect on you is if you let it get to you.

One way to cope with the hate is to respond appropriately. There’s an infinite number of replies you can use to counter the dreaded phrase “I hate you!”. You can try to be funny, witty, sarcastic, flirty, or even cute!

I assure you that this collection will be of help to you. Pick any line you want and return the favor. As a final note, keep in mind that this list is for fun only—it’s always best to make peace and not war. Spread the love!

Funny Replies to “I Hate You!”

  • I knew it! Dogs really hate me.
  • I must be that famous to have a hater like you.
  • Word!
  • Okay, I’m putting you on my hitlist.
  • Cool story, bro!
  • Sorry but I consider my haters, my motivators!
  • Preach!
  • That sounds weird coming from you.
  • New phone, who dis?
  • K.
  • Welcome to the dark side.
  • Wait for your turn, kid! The grown-ups are talking.
  • Well, bless your heart!
  • Amen to that!
  • Good...good...let the hate flow through you.
  • High five!
  • But I love myself!
  • I know.
  • You just stole my words! Are you a telepath?!
  • That’s what your mom said when I didn’t pay her.
  • Mission accomplished!
  • Don’t worry, it’s not your fault. I’m really not good with animals.
  • That’s old news! Tell me something new.
  • You’re now officially a member of the *insert your name here* haters club. Congratulations!
  • I won! Hooray!
  • I hate you too...from the depth of my fart.
  • I know that already. Tell me something I don’t know.
  • Ummm...do I know you? I could have sworn I’ve seen you somewhere.
  • Roses are red. Violets are blue. If I had a brick, I would throw it at you.
  • Oh come on! It’s just a vowel.

Source

Sarcastic Retorts

  • And you hating me is supposed to bother me?
  • I wish I cared.
  • I hate everyone. Don’t assume you’re special.
  • Talk to the hand!
  • I don’t remember asking for your opinion.
  • Sorry, I don’t understand a thing you say. I don’t speak bullsh*t.
  • And that should matter to me because?
  • I don’t really care about you to hate you.
  • You are somehow mistaken that your opinion matters to me.
  • Damn it! How am I going to sleep tonight knowing that you hate me?!
  • Did you hear something? Nope. That’s the sound of me not giving a f*ck!
  • You think you have the mental and emotional capacity to hate me? Oh please!
  • You’re not the only one, dear. Stop acting special!
  • Really? I don’t think about you at all.
  • Thanks, but I know I’m right.
  • How old are you again? Twelve?
  • You say that as if I even care.

Witty Answers to “I Hate You!”

  • Wow, I hate me too! We should be friends.
  • As they say, haters gonna hate!
  • Whatever floats your boat.
  • Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn!
  • How fitting of you. You fight like a cow!
  • Well, it takes one to know one.
  • Trash talked by many. Hated by some. Guess how many f*cks I give? Here’s a hint, it’s less than one.
  • It’s totally fine that you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.
  • Please cancel my subscription to your issues.
  • A hater’s opinion is like an expired coupon—it’s not worth anything!
  • Thank you for sharing. I assure you that we are all challenged by your unique perspective.
  • Remember when I asked for your opinion? Well, me neither.
  • Congratulations, balance sheet matched!
  • Yes, yes, now please pass the mustard.
  • Me too. But, hating people takes too much energy. I just pretend they’re dead.
  • May your soul rest in peace.
  • Just so you know, hatred in your heart will eventually consume you.
  • Hate is like drinking poison but expecting another person to die.
  • Okay, we’ve established that. Now don’t let the door hit your ass on your way out.
  • Why do you hate that letter so much?
  • It’s alright. I know that your emotional teaspoon cannot handle anything more meaningful.
  • Okay, but your fly is open. *disappears into thin air*
  • Unfortunately, your boyfriend/girlfriend doesn’t. *evil smile*
  • Please stand in line!
  • Hate doesn’t carry the weight necessary to describe my contempt for you.
  • See you in hell then?
  • Big deal! So do I!
  • I believe that a person’s opinion is only worth as much as they are, which in your case, is nothing.
  • Oh, boohoo! Do you see any tear coming from me? No? It seems that I couldn’t care less. How sad!
  • I’m glad we’re on the same page.

Source

Flirty Comebacks

  • I love you too!
  • What can I do to make you love me again? *wink*
  • Then, let’s bring this issue to bed.
  • But you still can’t live without me, baby.
  • You’re so sexy when you’re mad. I like that!
  • Shhhh! *then put your finger on their lips*
  • Oh, enough about me. What have you been up to lately?
  • But I loved you in bed. You were amazing!
  • No, you don’t. *wink*
  • That’s not what you said last night.
  • Whether you love me or you hate me, I know you’re still thinking about me.
  • I love the way you hate me.
  • Now, let’s make up and kiss.
  • Like I love you?
  • Oh my god! Really? What should I do to make you fall in love with me?
  • And I hate you like I love you.
  • *insert name of person who hates you here* and *insert your name here* sitting on a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
  • Ah, I’ve waited so long just to hear those words. Let me kiss you. Mwah!
  • Thanks, baby.
  • I feel the same. Why are we even together. Oh wait, it’s because I love you.
  • Well, I love you, so get over it!

Cute Responses to “I Hate You!”

  • Awww...how cute!
  • Thank you!
  • Ditto!
  • You looks so cute when you’re mad. Awww.
  • You’re so adorable when you’re flustered.
  • Ummm...pardon me. Can you repeat what you just said?
  • Oh, wow! What a coincidence!
  • So...we’re friends then?
  • Okay, let me take note of that.
  • Do you want a cookie?
  • Thanks. I get that a lot.
  • It’s okay. Most people do.
  • Oh really? Would you mind getting inside the oven?
  • It’s okay if you don’t like me because I like myself.
  • Are you a cricket? Crickets make a lot of noise yet you never see them. The moment you walk near them, they become quiet.
  • C’mon, just eat your food. We’ll go to your mommy once we’re done, okay?
  • Thank you! I actually expected this to happen sooner or later. Freedom at last!

Source

What to Say to Someone who Hates You?

  • That’s great. Carry on.
  • Nani?! (This means “What?” in Japanese. It has become a humorous remark meme in the recent times.)
  • Omae wa mou shindeiru (This means “You’re already dead to me” in Japanese. It’s a remark from the same universe as the “Nani?!” meme.)
  • So what?
  • Excuse me? I almost gave a f*ck!
  • Hater!
  • I may not be perfect, but at least I’m not you.
  • Well, I hated you first...loser!
  • Yeah, well, that’s just, like, your opinion.
  • Good for you.
  • That must be a stressful emotion for you to carry around all the time. I'm truly sorry.
  • The feeling is mutual.
  • Being hated isn’t exactly a new thing to me.
  • Then that means I’m doing something right.
  • You seem angry. What did I do?
  • You should probably see a psychiatrist.
  • Why?
  • That’s the point! I guess I succeeded in achieving my goal.
  • You signed up for this. Just saying.
  • Fair enough.
  • I’m disappointed, but I don’t hate you.
  • Get back to me once you’re done hating me.
  • Not more than I do!
  • In order for you to insult me, I would have to value your opinion first.
  • If you hate me for no reason at all, then I’ll make sure to give you one.
  • Your problem, not mine.
  • You’re just a minor detail in my life anyway.
  • My pleasure.
  • Thanks, I’ll find someone better.
  • Your standards seem low nowadays.

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