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100+ Funny and Creative Ways to Say "No"

Cheeky Kid is a cybernaut who spends a lot of time browsing the web, grasping infinite information, and reveling in entertainment and fun.

Funny and Creative Ways to Say "No"

Funny and Creative Ways to Say "No"

Funny Ways to Say "No"

Here’s some good news for you: You don’t have to answer questions and requests with an astoundingly boring ‘no’ anymore!

You heard that right! You’ve stumbled upon a haven that gathers over a hundred funny, witty, creative, and surprising ways to say "no."

Give me an 'N’! Give me an ‘O’! Combine those two letters together, and you get N-O! Add some spice to your life by changing up the words you usually say just a little bit. There is nothing to lose, so chat away and be creative in your mundane conversations with people.


How to Say "No" in a Funny Way

  • I would love to say yes, but my dog told me to say no.
  • Sorry, I can’t. I have to walk my unicorn.
  • Only if you give me a million bucks!
  • I would, but I’m a cat!
  • I’m pretty sure there’s someone a lot stupider who would enjoy doing that instead.
  • My advisors have come to a unanimous decision, and it’s a—NO!
  • In this world, there are countless of cool things to do. Unfortunately, your idea does fall into such category.
  • The voices in my head are asking me to say ‘no’ to this one.
  • Sweetie, you can’t afford me.
  • I have a strict ‘no deals with the devil’ policy.
  • That’s such a funny joke! HAHAHAHA!
  • I’d rather swallow a pillow.
  • It’s N to the O!
  • I’d rather pull out each of my teeth and swallow them all together.
  • I would say no even if you kiss my butt.
  • You know what season it is? It’s the season of NO!
  • That sounds like effort, so no.
  • Does it involve me moving from where I am right now? If the answer is yes, then I would have to say no.
  • You should know my answer by the look of disgust on my face.
  • I would love to say yes, but I actually wouldn’t love to say yes.
  • I can’t today, sorry. My brother’s friend’s pet lizard just died, and yeah, it was tragic.
  • My apologies, but my schedule is packed with better things.
  • Give me an ‘N.’ Give me an ‘O.’ Give me an ‘N-O!’
  • Not today, Satan! Not today.
  • Alas, such a task is no match for my incompetency.
  • I’m too lazy to even breath, so why would you ask that of me?!
  • I think I’ll just find a lake full of piranhas to jump into instead.
  • Please email your concern to ‘’ and I’ll send you my decision in a hundred years.

What to Say Instead of “No”

  • I would love to, but
  • It’s not a priority for me this time.
  • I do not approve!
  • I’m sorry, but you’re not worth the trouble.
  • Negative!
  • My answer is a resounding no!
  • There’s a hundred percent chance that I’m going to say ‘no’ to this one.
  • Offer declined!
  • No means no, now let it go.
  • I think not.
  • Frankly, my dear—no!
  • I’ve already booked into something else. Sorry.
  • I would prefer another option.
  • Definitely not me!
  • You should rethink your idea.
  • I’m busy, scram!
  • I shall not!
  • There are worse things I could say ‘yes’ to. I just can’t think of any at the moment.
  • No way, Jose.
  • Why, heavens no!
  • Oh, hell no!
  • I wasn’t born for this.
  • I find that idea undesirable.
  • Unfortunately, we don’t share the same sentiments.
  • I have a bad feeling about this, so no.
  • My parents said no.
  • No no no no no no no no no no no!
  • Sorry, but I’m trying to limit my commitments this year.

Creative Ways to Say “No”

  • On a scale of maybe to absolutely, I would say—absolutely not!
  • In another life, perhaps?
  • My two thumbs are pointing down, right?
  • Sorry, but I will have to sit this one out.
  • What part of the word ‘no’ do you not understand?
  • I do not subscribe to that notion.
  • Request rejected!
  • I’m disinclined to acquiesce to your request.
  • My future self says no!
  • I would only say ‘yes’ if hell has already frozen over.
  • Your idea is not compatible with me.
  • It’s that time of the year when I usually always say no.
  • Regrettably, I’m a no-man!
  • Liar, liar, panties on fire!
  • My parents would disown me if I did that.
  • My instincts are telling me that I’m not suitable for this.
  • I don’t have an iota of bandwidth left in my brain.
  • Life is too short to be doing stupid things. And by stupid things, I meant you!
  • I’m going to have to flex my ‘no’ muscle on this one.
  • Life is too short to do things that you don’t love.
  • My word of the year is ‘rest’, so I really can’t fit another thing in.
  • My schedule is up in the air right now. Can you not see it gently wafting down the corridor?
  • Me not loving your idea means that I’m not the right person for it.
  • Shop is closed! Come back again tomorrow.
  • Sorry, better luck next time.
  • It’s not that I’m too good to do what you want. It’s just that it’s too bad for me to do.
  • Saying ‘yes’ would surely cause the slow, withering death of soul.

Witty Ways to Say “No”

  • Oh, I wish there were two of me.
  • What’s the opposite of yes?
  • Is a dog a human?
  • That sounds like fun, but I am going to be extremely busy not doing that.
  • How do you spell no?
  • Sadly, I only have one body.
  • Sorry, but I no longer do things that make me want to kill myself.
  • Do fishes fly?
  • Ask me again in a few years.
  • Is nine plus ten equal to twenty one?
  • How does ‘no’ sound to you?
  • It sound like you’re looking for something that I’m not able to do right now.
  • I’m way too smart to say ‘yes’ to that.
  • What’s the opposite of positive?
  • My middle fingers are standing in salute.
  • Is the sky green?
  • Sorry, I don’t do that on days that end in Y.
  • There’s a person out there somewhere who’s a perfect fit for what you want. I am not that person.
  • No thanks, I’m a good person.
  • Is water dry?
  • You should do it yourself. You would be more awesome that way.
  • Give a moment. I’m trying to see how long I can go without saying yes.
  • How does ‘never’ work for you?
  • Is the sun cold?
  • No, I’m staying home to work on my booger structure.
  • Would you take ‘no’ for an answer?

Surprising Ways to Say “No”

  • Over my dead body!
  • Not in this lifetime!
  • You deserve a ‘boo’ for that idea.
  • I’d rather be dead.
  • I’ve got too much on my plate right now.
  • Get lost, jerk!
  • You do know I hate you, right?
  • I’d rather stick several needles in my eyes. Or your eyes.
  • Not in a hundred years!
  • Not in a million years!
  • Not in a billion years!
  • Let’s just pretend that we don’t know each other.
  • The frown on my face says it all.
  • Which of the following is the funniest way to say 'no' for you?
  • That idea is bad, and you should be punished!
  • I’d rather sell my kidney.
  • Die!
  • Blah blah blah!
  • Drats! I would have loved to.
  • I’d rather eviscerate myself with a toothpick.
  • thanks, loser!
  • I know a person who’s a better fit for that. I’ll email you their details.
  • Bah hambug!
  • Begone!