100+ Funny and Creative Ways to Say "No"

Updated on April 20, 2019
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Funny and Creative Ways to Say "No"
Funny and Creative Ways to Say "No" | Source

Here’s some good news for you: You don’t have to answer questions and requests with an astoundingly boring ‘no’ anymore!

You heard that right! You’ve stumbled upon a haven that gathers over a hundred funny, witty, creative, and surprising ways to say "no."

Give me an 'N’! Give me an ‘O’! Combine those two letters together and you get N-O! Add some spice in your life by changing up the words you usually say just a little bit. There is nothing to lose, so chat away and be creative in your mundane conversations with people.

Funny Ways to Say “No”

  • I would love to say yes, but my dog told me to say no.
  • Sorry, I can’t. I have to walk my unicorn.
  • Only if you give me a million bucks!
  • I would, but I’m a cat!
  • I’m pretty sure there’s someone a lot stupider who would enjoy doing that instead.
  • My advisors have come to a unanimous decision, and it’s a—NO!
  • In this world, there are countless of cool things to do. Unfortunately, your idea does fall into such category.
  • The voices in my head are asking me to say ‘no’ to this one.
  • Sweetie, you can’t afford me.
  • I have a strict ‘no deals with the devil’ policy.
  • That’s such a funny joke! HAHAHAHA!
  • I’d rather swallow a pillow.
  • It’s N to the O!
  • I’d rather pull out each of my teeth and swallow them all together.
  • I would say no even if you kiss my butt.
  • You know what season it is? It’s the season of NO!
  • That sounds like effort, so no.
  • Does it involve me moving from where I am right now? If the answer is yes, then I would have to say no.
  • You should know my answer by the look of disgust on my face.
  • I would love to say yes, but I actually wouldn’t love to say yes.
  • I can’t today, sorry. My brother’s friend’s pet lizard just died, and yeah, it was tragic.
  • My apologies, but my schedule is packed with better things.
  • Give me an ‘N.’ Give me an ‘O.’ Give me an ‘N-O!’
  • Not today, Satan! Not today.
  • Alas, such a task is no match for my incompetency.
  • I’m too lazy to even breath, so why would you ask that of me?!
  • I think I’ll just find a lake full of piranhas to jump into instead.
  • Please email your concern to ‘idontcare.com’ and I’ll send you my decision in a hundred years.


What to Say Instead of “No”

  • I would love to, but unfortunately...no.
  • It’s not a priority for me this time.
  • I do not approve!
  • I’m sorry, but you’re not worth the trouble.
  • Negative!
  • My answer is a resounding no!
  • There’s a hundred percent chance that I’m going to say ‘no’ to this one.
  • Offer declined!
  • No means no, now let it go.
  • I think not.
  • Frankly, my dear—no!
  • I’ve already booked into something else. Sorry.
  • I would prefer another option.
  • Definitely not me!
  • You should rethink your idea.
  • I’m busy, scram!
  • I shall not!
  • There are worse things I could say ‘yes’ to. I just can’t think of any at the moment.
  • No way, Jose.
  • Why, heavens no!
  • Oh, hell no!
  • I wasn’t born for this.
  • I find that idea undesirable.
  • Unfortunately, we don’t share the same sentiments.
  • I have a bad feeling about this, so no.
  • My parents said no.
  • No no no no no no no no no no no!
  • Sorry, but I’m trying to limit my commitments this year.


Creative Ways to Say “No”

  • On a scale of maybe to absolutely, I would say—absolutely not!
  • In another life, perhaps?
  • My two thumbs are pointing down, right?
  • Sorry, but I will have to sit this one out.
  • What part of the word ‘no’ do you not understand?
  • I do not subscribe to that notion.
  • Request rejected!
  • I’m disinclined to acquiesce to your request.
  • My future self says no!
  • I would only say ‘yes’ if hell has already frozen over.
  • Your idea is not compatible with me.
  • It’s that time of the year when I usually always say no.
  • Regrettably, I’m a no-man!
  • Liar, liar, panties on fire!
  • My parents would disown me if I did that.
  • My instincts are telling me that I’m not suitable for this.
  • I don’t have an iota of bandwidth left in my brain.
  • Life is too short to be doing stupid things. And by stupid things, I meant you!
  • I’m going to have to flex my ‘no’ muscle on this one.
  • Life is too short to do things that you don’t love.
  • My word of the year is ‘rest’, so I really can’t fit another thing in.
  • My schedule is up in the air right now. Can you not see it gently wafting down the corridor?
  • Me not loving your idea means that I’m not the right person for it.
  • Shop is closed! Come back again tomorrow.
  • Sorry, better luck next time.
  • It’s not that I’m too good to do what you want. It’s just that it’s too bad for me to do.
  • Saying ‘yes’ would surely cause the slow, withering death of soul.


Witty Ways to Say “No”

  • Oh, I wish there were two of me.
  • What’s the opposite of yes?
  • Is a dog a human?
  • That sounds like fun, but I am going to be extremely busy not doing that.
  • How do you spell no?
  • Sadly, I only have one body.
  • Sorry, but I no longer do things that make me want to kill myself.
  • Do fishes fly?
  • Ask me again in a few years.
  • Is nine plus ten equal to twenty one?
  • How does ‘no’ sound to you?
  • It sound like you’re looking for something that I’m not able to do right now.
  • I’m way too smart to say ‘yes’ to that.
  • What’s the opposite of positive?
  • My middle fingers are standing in salute.
  • Is the sky green?
  • Sorry, I don’t do that on days that end in Y.
  • There’s a person out there somewhere who’s a perfect fit for what you want. I am not that person.
  • No thanks, I’m a good person.
  • Is water dry?
  • You should do it yourself. You would be more awesome that way.
  • Give a moment. I’m trying to see how long I can go without saying yes.
  • How does ‘never’ work for you?
  • Is the sun cold?
  • No, I’m staying home to work on my booger structure.
  • Would you take ‘no’ for an answer?


Surprising Ways to Say “No”

  • Over my dead body!
  • Ewwww...no!
  • Not in this lifetime!
  • You deserve a ‘boo’ for that idea.
  • I’d rather be dead.
  • I’ve got too much on my plate right now.
  • Get lost, jerk!
  • You do know I hate you, right?
  • I’d rather stick several needles in my eyes. Or your eyes.
  • Not in a hundred years!
  • Not in a million years!
  • Not in a billion years!
  • Let’s just pretend that we don’t know each other.
  • The frown on my face says it all.
  • Which of the following is the funniest way to say 'no' for you?
  • That idea is bad, and you should be punished!
  • I’d rather sell my kidney.
  • Die!
  • Blah blah blah!
  • Drats! I would have loved to.
  • I’d rather eviscerate myself with a toothpick.
  • Umm...no thanks, loser!
  • I know a person who’s a better fit for that. I’ll email you their details.
  • Bah hambug!
  • Begone!


Which of the following is the funniest way to say "no" for you?

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Questions & Answers


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      • profile image


        6 months ago

        Like Phoebe once said : i wish i could but i dont want to


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