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45+ Funny Ways to Answer a Phone & Answer Spam Calls

I like to come up with fun things to do and pranks to play on people.


Clever and Creative Ways to Answer a Phone Call

Trying to come up with new, funny ways to answer the phone can be tough. You want to sound original and clever, but not too cheesy or ridiculous. Here are 100 funny ways to answer the phone that will crack you up!

  • "After this phone call, you can hang up"
  • "All of our agents are currently busy. Please stay on the line, and your call will be answered as soon as possible."
  • "All our operators are currently busy. Please stay on the line, and your call will be answered as soon as possible."
  • "Can I call you back? I'm in the middle of a very important nap."
  • "Have you tied turning it off and switching it back on again?"
  • "Hello, 911? I'd like to report a burglary in progress!"
  • "Hello, this is your conscience. You should really rethink what you're about to do."
  • "Hello, what can you do me for?"
  • "Hello? Is anyone there? Hellooooo?"
  • "Hello? Oh, hi, Grandma! Yeah, I'm just in the middle of- no, no, I don't have time for that right now!"
  • "Hello? Oh, hi! I didn't realize it was you! I thought you were the telemarketer!"
  • "Hello? Oh, hi! Let me just turn down the music real quick!" *music gets turned down* "There we go! Sorry about that! What can I do for you?"
  • "Hey there! Thanks for calling (company name)! Our normal business hours are from 9 to 5, Monday through Friday. However, we are currently closed. Please call back during our normal business hours."
  • "Hey there! You've just won a free trip to Bermuda! Press 1 to continue."
  • "Hi, welcome to Pizza Hut! May I take your order?"
  • "Hi! This is Dave (not your actual name)! I'm not here right now, but if you leave me a message, I'll get back to you as soon as possible!"
  • "I'm in the middle of cooking dinner"
  • "I'm sorry, I can't hear you! There's a banana in my ear!"
  • "I'm sorry, I can't talk right now. I'm in the middle of a number two."
  • "I'm sorry, I can't talk right now. I'm in the middle of a very important experiment."
  • "I'm sorry, I only speak fluent sarcasm."
  • "I'm sorry, this is the wrong number. I think you're looking for 1-800-Dial-a-Prayer."
  • "I'm sorry, this is lost and found. You've reached the wrong number."
  • "I'm sorry, this number is no longer in service. Please try again later."
  • "I'm sorry, we're closed now. Please call back during business hours."
  • "I'm sorry, who is this?"
  • "I'm sorry, you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service. Please check the number and try your call again."
  • "I'm sorry, you have the wrong number. This is actually the I-have-no-time hotline."
  • "I'm trying to watch my stories!"
  • "If you give me your name and number, I'll be sure to not call you back... as soon as possible... maybe."
  • "Is your refrigerator running? Because it should be!"
  • "Put down mummy's special toy!"
  • "Sorry, I can't talk right now. I'm in the middle of getting a restraining order."
  • "This is (name). I can't come to the phone right now because I am too busy doing something that I probably shouldn't be doing. Please leave a message after the tone, and I'll get back to you when I am done doing this thing that I am not supposed to be doing." *BEEP*
  • "This is Microsoft technical support. How may I help crash your computer today?"
  • "This is the answering machine. Please leave a message after the tone." *BEEP*
  • "This is the ghost of Christmas future. Answer this phone call, and you will die within 24 hours."
  • "This is the pet psychic. Who am I speaking to, and what kind of animal do you have?"
  • "This is the sheriff's department. We have been tracing this call, and I regret to inform you that we will be sending a deputy to your location in approximately 10 minutes."
  • "Well, well, well...if it isn't my long-lost friend! How have you been?!"
  • "Your call is costing you $21.99 a minute. Please hold while we transfer you to our billing department."
  • Call them by the wrong name on purpose.
  • Playing an instrumental version of "Auld Lang Syne" on the recorder.
  • Saying nothing and just breathing heavily into the phone.
  • Saying the opening line from Shakespeare's "Hamlet."
  • Start speaking in a made-up language.
  • Start speaking Spanish "Hola, como estas?"
  • "Why are you calling me?"

How to Come Up with Funny Ways to Answer the Phone

There is a whole range of ways to be funny when answering the phone, from the silly to the sarcastic. Whether you want to make your friends laugh or prank callers, here are a few ideas to get you started:

  1. Pretend to be someone else: This is a classic prank that never gets old. You can pretend to be a friend, a family member, a celebrity, or even a fictional character.
  2. Give absurd responses: If someone asks you a question, give them an absurd answer that doesn't make any sense.
  3. Be completely serious: When someone says something funny, respond in a completely serious tone. This will confuse and amuse them at the same time.
  4. Imitate someone: Whether it's a friend, a family member, or a famous person, try imitate someone else's voice. This is sure to get a laugh.
  5. Make up a ridiculous story: When someone asks you what you're up to, make up a completely ridiculous story that will leave them laughing.
  6. Do an impression: Impressions are always funny, so try doing one of your favorite celebrities or characters.
  7. Be completely random: Say the first thing that comes into your head, no matter how random or nonsensical it may be.
  8. Sing a song: A little bit of singing can go a long way in making someone laugh. Choose a silly song that will make them smile.

Make Sure the Person Answering the Phone Call Knows You're Kidding

You don't want to confuse or frustrate the person on the other end of the line, so it's important to make sure they know you're just joking around. One way to do this is to use a friendly and upbeat tone of voice. Another is to let them know upfront that you are just messing with them.

For example, you might say something like, "Hey there! Thanks for calling (company name). I'm just messing with you - we're actually closed right now." Whatever you do, just make sure the person on the other end knows you're kidding and that they won't be getting into any trouble for calling during their work hours as well.

Be Prepared for the Phone Person Who Called You to Play the Same Prank Back

If you're planning on being a prankster, then you need to be prepared for the possibility that the person on the other end of the line will turn the tables and start pranking you. This is all part of the fun, so just go with it and enjoy the exchange. Who knows, you might even come up with a new prank to pull next time!

Carry On the Joke

You can even carry on the joke further whether it is a funny Wifi name network or you have wrapped up a present in a funny way. The best jokes are ones that are continuous but take a new form.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2022 Elin Beck