100 Funny Replies and Witty Comebacks to an Apology
‘I didn’t mean to do that.’
Sometimes, it can be very difficult to forgive people for the bad things they have done. Often times, some people don’t even really mean it when they ask for forgiveness. It’s just the way how the world works, and we are left with no choice but to accept it. In this world, it’s either we forgive or we do not!
This list may not be completely serious, but if you are looking for funny replies and witty comebacks to apologies (especially insincere ones), then this is what you’re looking for! Some are fun, some are witty, and some are clever—use them as you wish! But remember, mistakes are always forgivable, especially if one has the courage to admit. Forgiving is still the key. All of the replies listed here, on the other hand, are optional.
1. You should be!
2. I will have to get back to you on that.
3.What do you need from me right now?
4. What? I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over all your bullsh*t.
5. I feel a lot of strong emotions over what you just said, and I don’t want to react harshly, so I would like to take some time before I respond.
6. Next time you do it, you will be really sorry.
7. But I don’t have the antidote to the poison you just drank.
8. I am curious: What is your intention in saying that?
9. Good thing your opinion doesn’t matter to me as much as you think it does.
10. Give me some time and I’ll get back to you.
11. I’d like to say it’s okay, but it is not. How could you betray me?
12. I will file your apology under “Pending Cases” for now. Just wait for a few days for the results.
13. What you have to say is important to me, but it’s getting lost in the way you are saying it.
14. It's okay, not everyone can be cool you see.
15. Uh-huh, I’m listening. Go on.
16. What is your best offer?
17. *Just stare with a silent, continuous eye contact*
18. This isn't over yet!
19. It’s okay, I am not angry at you. After all, I am always kind to animals.
20. Well yeah, it is your fault. You may stop farting now.
21. Don’t worry, I wasn’t offended. I’m just happy that you can construct sensible sentences now.
22. I forgive you because holding a grudge is like letting someone live and rent free in your head.
23. About what?
24. But I already reserved a room in hell for you.
25. No, you're not!
26. I’m sorry too for putting poop in your food.
27. Too late, I can’t cancel the contract with the hitman anymore.
28. I have no time to talk with you. Please send your apology at firstname.lastname@example.org.
29. I thought turtles were slow. Then I saw you.
30. Yeah, you're a sorry individual, that's for sure.
31. Tell that to my middle finger.
32. Explain that in jail.
33. Actions speak louder than words. I can’t hear you. Maybe a present or a hug will get my heart to open back up.
34. Earth has had enough of your lies. Go back to your planet.
35. I respectfully disagree.
37. It’s so easy to tell when you’re lying. Your lips are moving.
38. Don't be sorry, be better.
39. So, how are you going to make it right?
40.Cancel my subscription. I don't need your issues.
41. But you look 100% better when I don’t see you.
42. Waiting for you is like waiting for rain in the drought—useless and disappointing!
43. Prove it!
44. You were fake. I was great. Nothing personal.
45. Let me punch you in the stomach and I'll consider us even.
47. Don't be! It's the effect of your current circle of friends, you see.
48. Are you saying that because you are really sorry or you just want to make yourself feel better?
49. Kiss my butt!
50. Ain’t nobody got time for that!
51. Yeah, I can’t believe you did that.
52. Well, I’m not.
53. Good luck with finding someone who will put up with all your bullsh*t as well as I did.
54. You are learning fast, keep it up!
55. Why, did something bad happen to you? It’s karma!
56. Who am I, Buddha? Even Buddha can only forgive a person up to three times!
57.What entitles you to apologize for my feelings and emotions?
58. But I already flushed you down the toilet.
59. I can see why you would say that.
60. Do you get whiplash watching me surpass you in every way possible?
61. Save it for when I actually give a crap.
62. How about a simple F*CK OFF?!
63. Tell me more about how our new friendship could work.
64. Thank you for the non-apology, you liar!
65. I will accept your apology if you kiss me.
66. Apology not accepted!
67. I don’t receive apologies from those lower than me.
68. Apology denied!
69. Who are you again?
71. I don’t care if you are sorry. For me, it’s only two words, nothing else.
72. You are not even worth the calories I burn talking to you.
73. It’s okay. I wasn’t expecting anything from you anyway.
74. Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.
75. Too late! Death trap game begins in 3...2...1...0!
76. I know you are only sorry because you got caught.
77. How much are you going to pay me if I forgive you?
78. I'm still pouting from the things you did.
79. Sorry doesn't fix sh*t!
80. Why though? Are you burning with jealousy?
81. Lots of people are sorry for lots of different reasons in lots of situations, and this obviously isn't one of them.
82. Not today, Satan! Not today!
83. Sorry doesn't make a dead man alive!
84. By the time I'm done with you, you will be really sorry.
85. You can say sorry all you want, but that is not going to fix anything.
86. I’ve already replaced you.
87. Violence is always a good answer.
88. Why are you apologizing over this? Is there some kind of crazy plot where you got me into dealing with the devil or something?
89. No, you’re just afraid to fight me.
90. Nobody asked you.
91. I can smell your bullsh*t from half a mile away.
92. Well, condolences to you!
93. I only accept cash apologies.
94. Engjkk...enngk...bzzzt! Sorry, mobile reception is choppy!
95. You are already dead to me.
96. God may forgive you, but I wont.
97. I should spank you for that.
98. Only if you beg.
99. Well, nobody loves you.
100. If you’re going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty.