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Dealing With a Friend Who Won't Stop Talking About Her Boyfriend

Stephanie is a graduate Pony Clubber, a rock climber, hiker, poet, writing tutor, belly dancer, yoga student, and gymnastics teacher.

You love your friend, but she just. Won't. Stop. Talking. About. HIM!

You love your friend, but she just. Won't. Stop. Talking. About. HIM!

How to Handle a Friend Who Talks About Her Boyfriend Too Much

I have a confession—I'm often the girl who won't stop talking about her boyfriend! I mean, he's just so sweet, and handsome, and everything reminds me of him so I just can't help it . . .

Well, I've also had a lot of friends who would not stop talking about their boyfriends, and I know firsthand how annoying it can be. The thing to remember is that the boyfriend thing is temporary. You might find that the worst stage is after she and the boyfriend break up and you get to hear all about how much of a jerk he really was. Anyway, here are some suggestions for surviving, and diverting, the numerous stories and references to your friend's boyfriend.

Tips for Dealing With a Friend Who's Obsessed With Her Boyfriend

  1. Change the Topic
  2. Take the Direct Approach
  3. Invent Your Own Crush
  4. Do Something Fun Together
  5. Listen to Her, but Let Her Know When You've Had Enough

1. Change the Topic

Bring up another topic in which both you and your friend are interested. She may realize that this reminds her of something that her boyfriend did or said, in which case, you will have to again divert the conversation until she hopefully gets the point. You could ask her how her classes are going, or about a TV show that you both watch.

You may need to bring up the topic directly if your friend just doesn't realize that she talks about her boyfriend non-stop. Remember to use "I language" to express yourself!

You may need to bring up the topic directly if your friend just doesn't realize that she talks about her boyfriend non-stop. Remember to use "I language" to express yourself!

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2. Take the Direct Approach

Your friend probably doesn't realize that she talks nonstop about her man. The problem may be solved by gently bringing it to her attention.

You can tactfully address the situation without starting a conflict by stating how it makes you feel when she talks about her boyfriend. Don't accuse her of being obsessed—use "I language" to express your own feelings and avoid confrontation.

Examples:

  • "I feel frustrated when you change the topic of conversation back to your boyfriend. I'd like tell you about what's going on with me and my crush/boyfriend."
  • "I feel like you don't care much about me and the friendship I have to offer because you are always talking about [boyfriend's name] when we are together."
  • "I'm happy that you have found a wonderful boyfriend, but I was hoping we could spend some quality time together, without talking all about [boyfriend's name]."
  • "I feel a little jealous when you talk about all the cute things you and your boyfriend do. I'm happy for you but can you please be a little more sensitive to my feelings?"

3. Invent Your Own Crush

You could always give your friend a taste of her own medicine, and start gushing about a real or imagined crush or boyfriend of your own. She may get the hint, but I've had a few gullible friends, and an imaginary crush would only fuel her stories.

4. Do Something Fun Together

Go somewhere fun that will take her mind off of her boy. You could go to a movie, a theme park, a café, a park or nature trail, a dance club, a sports event, a play or musical, a bookstore, a museum, a vacation home for a weekend trip—really anywhere!

Listen to your friend, but gently let her know when enough is enough.

Listen to your friend, but gently let her know when enough is enough.

5. Listen to Her, but Let Her Know When You've Had Enough

Remember, the most important function of a friendship is listening. As a friend, you have a duty to listen openly, but sometimes it's you need to remind your friend that there are other things out there. Use discretion, and let your friend know when enough is enough. Good luck getting your friend back to normal!

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