Bible Principles For Dealing With Criticism

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.


Have you ever said that? I certainly have. I was taught that little adage as a child, and can dimly remember the kids in my neighborhood, myself included, chanting it to one another.

But my naive confidence that negative words about me wouldn’t hurt didn’t last long. Over the years I have had it impressed on me, definitely, forcefully, and conclusively, that words can hurt me – because they’ve done it so many times.

We call those words that hurt, criticism. The dictionary defines it as finding fault with someone, judging them disapprovingly. And nobody escapes it.

Expect to be criticized!

It doesn’t matter how wonderful a person you may be, or how upright and wise in handling the issues of life. The fact is that somebody is not going to like what you do or how you do it. You could be absolutely perfect and you would still get criticized. Look at what the critics said about Jesus and John the Baptist:

Luke 7:33-34 For John the Baptist came neither eating bread nor drinking wine, and you say, 'He has a demon.' 34 The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and you say, 'Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and "sinners."'

Note: All Scriptures are from the New International Version of the Bible

If Jesus Christ, the perfect Son of God, couldn’t escape being criticized, there’s not much chance any of the rest of us will!

In fact, I don’t even want to be the kind of person who is never criticized, because I recognize this fact of life:

If I am having enough impact in the world for people to notice me, they will talk about me!

And people being people, some of that talk will be negative.

Our normal reaction to criticism is to become defensive and antagonistic

Often when we receive criticism, we experience it as an attack deliberately and maliciously launched against us. And being attacked usually provokes two immediate and automatic reactions:


The first is to defend ourselves against the attack so that we won’t be further hurt. That often means putting up a wall of denials, explanations, and excuses designed to show that the criticism is totally off base and has no validity.

Next comes the counterattack! We lash out at our attacker with whatever harsh accusations we can think of regarding their motives, knowledge, and competence, hoping to put them on the defensive, and at the same time punish them for daring to attack us in the first place.

Yet the Bible teaches that the knee-jerk defensive reaction we all so easily fall into is counter productive.

Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Instead of blindly reacting to criticism, we should thoughtfully respond to it

Rather than allowing criticism to provoke an automatic defensive and antagonistic reaction, we’ll get much better results when we carefully consider the criticism, and then respond appropriately.

The three types of criticism

Any criticism we receive will ultimately fall into one of three categories, and each type requires a different response:

(1) ACCURATE criticism – it is essentially valid, although it may not be 100 percent correct.

(2) INACCURATE criticism – it is essentially incorrect, although there may be some truth in it.

(3) MALICIOUS criticism – it is motivated by anger, frustration, jealousy, envy, or some other agenda on the part of the critic.

Let’s look at what Scripture teaches about responding appropriately to each of these types of criticism.

1. Use ACCURATE criticism as an opportunity to change

Proverbs 15:31-32 He who listens to a life-giving rebuke will be at home among the wise. 32 He who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding.

Criticism can be a God-given instrument of needed correction!


Unless you make the unlikely claim of being perfect in all you do, there will be times when negative judgments about how you handle some situations are entirely appropriate.

That’s why, for example, a well run company is likely to have yearly performance reviews for its employees. Those assessments provide an opportunity not to tear a worker down, but to make mid-course corrections that will help the worker be more effective on the job.

And that’s exactly how we ought to view the accurate criticism God allows to come into our lives – it’s an opportunity to make corrections and get better.

But when it comes to criticism, what, exactly, does “accurate” mean?

Criticism need not be 100 percent true in order to be “accurate”

No human being judging our actions can possibly know all the circumstances and potentially mitigating factors we could cite in our own defense. So, it will always be possible to punch holes in someone’s assessment of our performance. That’s why “100 percent correct” is not an appropriate standard of accuracy. Instead, a standard of “substantially correct” is the one we should apply.


For example, if my boss criticizes me for “always” overstaying my lunch hour, it would be easy for me to cite all the times I got back from lunch on time, or even ahead of time. But that would miss the point. Although I’m not late 100 percent of the time, the observation that I have a pattern of being late getting back from lunch is substantially correct. I need to listen to it, and allow it to provoke me to change.

2. Use INACCURATE criticism as an opportunity to teach

2 Timothy 2:24-25 And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. 25 Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth.

Criticism that is sincere but inaccurate is usually based on ignorance or misperceptions of the facts. That’s what happened to the apostle Peter after a vision from God sent him to share the gospel in the house of a Roman Centurion named Cornelius. When Peter reported back to the church at Jerusalem, he drew some strong criticism:

Acts 11:2-3 So when Peter went up to Jerusalem, the circumcised believers criticized him 3 and said, "You went into the house of uncircumcised men and ate with them."

Obviously the critics didn’t understand that Peter had done what he did by the direct command of God. In other words, they were ignorant of the facts.

But instead of getting on his “how dare you criticize me for doing God’s will” high horse, Peter responded with humility:

Acts 11:4 Peter began and explained everything to them precisely as it had happened:

In other words, Peter used the occasion to “gently instruct” his critics. An episode that could have led to great strife in the church, instead became an opportunity for Peter to teach Jewish believers that God loves Gentiles too.

Acts 11:18 When they heard this, they had no further objections and praised God, saying, "So then, God has granted even the Gentiles repentance unto life."

How do you usually react when someone criticizes you?

  • I usually get angry and strike back.
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  • Nobody ever criticizes me - I'm perfect!
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Peter turned inaccurate criticism into a teachable moment simply by giving his critics the facts, and doing it without attitude! If he had allowed himself to become defensive and antagonistic because of the inaccurate and unjust criticism hurled at him, that lesson would have been entirely lost.

3. Use MALICIOUS criticism as an opportunity to minister grace

Grace is defined as “unmerited favor,” and that’s exactly what Scripture enjoins us to give to those who criticize us maliciously.

Matthew 5:44-45 But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.

When people criticize us out of their anger, jealousy, frustration, or even hatred, Jesus commands that we not only forgive them, but that we pray for them and seek to bless them.

“But they don’t deserve to be blessed!” our outraged feelings scream.

True, but that’s exactly what grace is all about. And by giving that grace to people who have deliberately and maliciously attacked us with their criticism, Jesus says we become more like God Himself.

Something wonderful happens when we take on an attitude of grace toward people who have been malicious or judgmental or spiteful toward us: their criticism can’t touch us! We understand that the problem is with them, and not with us. So, instead of being offended and hurt, we are free to joyfully minister forgiveness and grace into that person’s life. The result is that instead of the unfair criticism succeeding in tearing us down, it actually serves to build us up, spiritually and emotionally, as we follow in the redemptive footsteps of Christ.

The 2 percent rule

In reality, most of the criticism we receive can be turned into a positive instrument of change in our lives. Even if it’s basically inaccurate or totally malicious, it may contain some small nugget of truth that is valid, and which we should not ignore. That was David’s attitude:

Psalms 139:23-24 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

David asked God to search his life to see if there was any offensive way in him. Any at all. And if God showed him something that was out of order in his life, however trivial it might seem, David was committed to cleaning it up.

That request of David’s led me to what I call my 2 percent rule:

If someone’s criticism of me is even 2 percent accurate, I need to recognize and correct that 2 percent.

We can be triumphant over criticism!

For many of us, just hearing that someone said negative things about us can trigger acute emotional distress. It’s as if that accusation, whatever it’s actual merit, immediately penetrates our defenses, causing substantial damage to our self esteem.

But when we respond to criticism biblically, we need no longer be victimized by it. We can experience first hand one of the great promises God gives us in Scripture:

Isaiah 54:17 no weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and this is their vindication from me," declares the LORD.

To me, that's good news!

© 2014 Ronald E. Franklin

More by this Author


Ericdierker profile image

Ericdierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

Wonderfully done. I think that I am glad that I am not so perfect at this yet. It reminds me that God is not done with me yet. Thank you also for that armor of the Word you included here, your scripture provides and good breastplate.

Carola Finch profile image

Carola Finch 2 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Just to let you know - it is always a good idea to do a search on HubPages on a topic before tackling it - lol. I have already done a hub on this topic with the exact same picture on top. Of course, you are free to write about whatever you want but it is better to know what is actually out there first. Please find another picture to use so people don't confuse our hubs.

RonElFran profile image

RonElFran 2 years ago from Mechanicsburg, PA Author

Thanks, Ericdierker. I think we are all works in progress in this area!

Carola Finch profile image

Carola Finch 2 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Your hub is really well done. Sorry about the comment, I was mistaken.

MsDora profile image

MsDora 2 years ago from The Caribbean

Hi Ron, I agree that criticism can hurt, and it can also help us improve. You have given us instructions on how to make it help. We really have to find refuge in the word of God, because these are not easy situations. Thank you.

RonElFran profile image

RonElFran 2 years ago from Mechanicsburg, PA Author

Thanks, Carola. No offense taken.

RonElFran profile image

RonElFran 2 years ago from Mechanicsburg, PA Author

Thanks, MsDora. And you are exactly right - handling criticism gracefully is tough! But, as with everything else in life, God's word shows us the way. The hard part is actually doing it that way when our feelings just want to kick and scream!

Ann1Az2 profile image

Ann1Az2 2 years ago from Orange, Texas

I love your use of Scripture throughout this and you hit on one of my favorite men in the Bible - David. Well done because he certainly humbled himself and was always asking for God's instructions.

I do take issue with one thing (since you are writing about criticism, I hope you won't take this wrong). I would hesitate in using the word "grace" for those who maliciously criticize. In an article that quotes so much Scripture, grace should be reserved for the only one who can give it and that is Christ. A better word choice might be forgiveness or as the Scripture says, love, since all Christians are called to love their enemies and forgive. But by the Biblical definition, only God can give grace.

RonElFran profile image

RonElFran 2 years ago from Mechanicsburg, PA Author

Thanks, Ann1Az2, for reading and commenting, and for reminding me to be careful in my use of the word "grace." The sense in which I am using it is, to my mind, almost exactly what is expressed in Colossians 4:6, which says in the NKJV, "Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one." I totally agree with you that the grace with which we "ought to answer each one" ultimately comes only from God. We certainly don't have any to give on our own!

Mel Carriere profile image

Mel Carriere 2 years ago from San Diego California

Very wise and meaningful words. The world's best self help book is already on most of our bookshelves, mostly gathering dust. Fantastic hub!

RonElFran profile image

RonElFran 2 years ago from Mechanicsburg, PA Author

Thanks, Mel. And you are so right. The Bible says of itself that the knowledge it provides gives us "all things that pertain to life and godliness." How foolish to neglect it!

Inspired Heart profile image

Inspired Heart 2 years ago from Jamaica

Thanks for your informative and inspiring hub. While we might not like criticisms, we could find that some are useful for our growth and even achieving set goals in our lives.

Also, I love your instructions to, "use malicious criticism as an opportunity to minister grace". Yes, as we have freely received God's grace, let us pass it on!

RonElFran profile image

RonElFran 2 years ago from Mechanicsburg, PA Author

Thank you, Inspired Heart. Learning to respond properly to criticism isn't at all easy, but as you say, it's really necessary for our growth.

Jack Hansen profile image

Jack Hansen 13 months ago from Fort Myers, Florida

I am taking a course with my Men's Ministry, The Way of the Master: Seek and save the lost the way Jesus did. Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort present a course about being compassionate rather than argumentative as one develops the ability to engage in gospel conversations guided by the Holy Spirit. Overcoming fear is paramount with deep faith and perseverance. Pointing out that people are sinners when the 10 Commandments, God's law, are used to shine on one's truth about their behavior. This opens up the opportunity to talk about repentance at the foot of the cross so that Christ may judge them righteous and, by the grace of God, they may be saved for eternity in heaven rather than burn in the river of fire because their sins caused them to remove themselves from God. The fear of God is stressed because people are indifferent to God and feel they are "good." The devil wins with a complacent attitude about this most important issue. Always converse with love rather than competitive debate.

RonElFran profile image

RonElFran 10 months ago from Mechanicsburg, PA Author

Jack, I'm not familiar with that particular course, but the teaching of being compassionate rather than argumentative is sorely needed in today's world. May that teaching have an impact on the men!

mathursunil profile image

mathursunil 7 months ago from Allahabad, India

You have explained very lucidly and philosophically how to deal with various types of criticism. The article is spiced with valuable and interesting references from the Bible.

RTalloni profile image

RTalloni 7 months ago from the short journey

Congratulations on your Hub of the Day award for this look at dealing with criticism. Expecting it is indeed the first step to dealing with it! Though unbelievers would not be depending on the power of God to help them through Jesus the Christ, the principles you note here offer wisdom to anyone responding to criticism.

I'm not able to agree that criticism can't touch us if we respond as the Bible instructs. It can be quite painful, but we can have peace in the midst of the storm. Have you ever read Unpacking Forgiveness by Chris Brauns? If not, you would probably enjoy learning from its thorough look at what Christians need to understand about forgiveness.

Learning to value our critics is critical to living victoriously. Thanks for a neat read.

Kristen Howe profile image

Kristen Howe 7 months ago from Northeast Ohio

Ron, congrats on another HOTD. This was spot on for this hub to focus on their own Christian beliefs on what to do with criticism from others and even their family. This was real gripping and inspirational, even motivational, to read.

gerimcclym profile image

gerimcclym 7 months ago from Colorado

Thank you for an excellent article on how we should respond to criticism from a Christian standpoint.

swilliams profile image

swilliams 7 months ago from Arizona

Thank you for providing this insightful article that is helpful in a world where everyone is trying to stick up for their personal beliefs. Very useful.

PegCole17 profile image

PegCole17 7 months ago from Dallas, Texas

What a valuable, insightful lesson that you've shared here. I really needed this. Thank you so much. I can see now where criticism can actually help guide me in the right direction.

RonElFran profile image

RonElFran 7 months ago from Mechanicsburg, PA Author

Thank you, mathursunil. I'm glad it was helpful to you.

RonElFran profile image

RonElFran 7 months ago from Mechanicsburg, PA Author

Thanks, RTalloni. In saying that if we respond biblically, criticism can't touch us I didn't mean to imply that it won't be painful, but that it can't defeat or control us or deflect us from our God-ordained course. We can be victorious over "every tongue that accuses" us!

RonElFran profile image

RonElFran 7 months ago from Mechanicsburg, PA Author

Thank you, Kristen. This is a lesson we all need to be reminded of, because criticism can rock our boats at any time!

RonElFran profile image

RonElFran 7 months ago from Mechanicsburg, PA Author

Thanks, gerimcclym. It's so easy for Christians to act out rather than respond in a godly way when criticism hits, but it doesn't have to be that way.

RonElFran profile image

RonElFran 7 months ago from Mechanicsburg, PA Author

Thanks, swilliams. I'd be very happy to know that some readers have been better equipped to handle inevitable criticism by what's shared here.

RonElFran profile image

RonElFran 7 months ago from Mechanicsburg, PA Author

Many thanks, Peg. I'm very glad it was helpful. Whenever I'm reminded of these principles, it certainly helps me!

RTalloni profile image

RTalloni 7 months ago from the short journey

That it does not have to defeat or control us is indeed a wonderful thing!

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