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5 Dating Lessons From Giacomo Casanova, the Greatest Lover in History

Ravi is a traveler and foodie who loves to visit off-the-beaten-track places and understand the culture, history and customs behind them.

The Michelangelo of Love

The 18th-century Venetian Giacomo Casanova was undoubtedly the Michelangelo of love. Despite having an unremarkable appearance, no man has played the dating game as well as he did before him or even two centuries after him now. During his 73 years, he romanced noblewomen, actresses, dancers, chambermaids, Greek slave girls, a priest's niece, a farmer's daughter, five sisters (plus their mother), a transvestite, a nymphomaniac, and two unrepentant nuns—132 ladies in all. In a nutshell, he was simply irresistible.

Who Is Giacomo Cassanova?

It is no surprise that even today, women everywhere giggle at the sound of Casanova’s name. And men? Men everywhere either hate him or ignore him… mostly out of jealousy that they can never replicate his stupendous feats. But they still dream of being a Giacomo Casanova at one time or the other.

But that brings us to a question. Was Casanova just a glorified pick-up artist, a depraved sex maniac who took advantage of women? No. He wasn’t that.

As Ted Emery, Ph.D., an assistant professor of Italian at Dickinson College and a noted Casanovist, rightly says.

"Unlike the fictional Don Juan or the Marquis de Sade, Casanova wasn't a sexual predator. He was very much in love with most of these women, and they with him. He frequently mentions the multiple orgasms he gave them. This is certainly flattering, but the fact that he even thought about their pleasure makes him different and admirable."

A true self-made gentleman in every sense of the word, Casanova’s relationships with the ladies went beyond just sex. Casanova himself wrote that the best way to romance a woman is to offer her dignity and attentiveness.

He offered them a world much better than the dreary world of 18th -century women. He disdained alcohol and violence and believed that the way to a woman’s heart is through a man’s words. It is a man’s skill with words that will conquer a woman. Love always needs to be based on mutual consent only.

And in his unfinished memoir, The Story of My Life, Casanova writes about his exploits and important life lessons that he lived by. He also offers us an insight into his world and reveals his secrets to talk to women, seduce them and make them crave his presence.

Lessons Men Can Learn From Cassanova

  1. Make Her Feel Special
  2. Privacy is Important
  3. Admire Her
  4. Ask Her What She Thinks
  5. Love Has No Barriers

1. Make Her Feel Special

For a date, Casanova used to rent an elegant 5-bedroom apartment. He welcomed her as she boarded off the gondola and plied her with the best of liquor, smoked meats, and sweet delicacies. Of course, she was bound to be impressed.

Casanova always used to make any woman feel special and he called it “la jouissance” or climax. His reasoning was simple; if she feels secure and special in his arms, she will undoubtedly see him again and it worked every time for him like a charm.

So, if you planned to go on a date, never ask her “What do you want? Instead, like a true Casanova, take charge. Remember, every woman likes if an effort, however small, has been made to make her feel comfortable and special. Devise a plan and aspire to make the occasion so memorable for her that she can never forget you in her lifetime.

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2. Privacy Is Important

Every woman likes privacy and Casanova calls it one of the most important commandments of dating.

When Casanova set out to date a particularly sexy nun with a reputation to protect, he warned his apartment staff not to disturb them. Dinner was served through a pass-through, allowing the waiters to deliver the food without being seen or heard. He allowed nothing to distract the two lovers. Casanova gave her his undivided attention, and the nun felt comfortable and secure in his arms.

The lesson here is that dating is an intimately private affair and most women do not like it to be shouted all over the world, including on social media. Create an intimate atmosphere as much as you can and make sure that you continuously search for moments of intimacy away from the crowd when you both can linger and connect with each other.

Remember the key is attention. The best compliment you can give to any woman is to give her your undivided attention.

3. Admire Her

I know this sounds cliché, but Casanova knew that all women like to be admired.

Casanova's rented apartment was full of mirrors and candles. He wanted his love to be "reflected a thousand times" and he wanted her to enjoy the woman looking at her own body from different angles. He knew that a beautiful woman enjoys looking at herself and she feels more confident and sexier doing that, so he makes sure the mirrors always compliment her in the best possible way.

There's a magical quality to a man's open, insightful admiration that women find equally enchanting. All women like to be admired and gushed upon and there is nothing old-fashioned in doing just that. Admire her not only for her beauty but also for her intelligence and grace.

This is often the easiest way to win her heart.

4. Ask Her What She Thinks

Casanova used to spend most of his dating time asking questions and listening to his women carefully. In an age where women were considered inferior to men, this trait of asking questions made him immensely irresistible to women.

He treated every woman equally and was keenly interested to know her perspective on any topic of discussion. He made her feel valued which not only broke the ice but also was highly flattering. Thus before he conquered her body, he touched her heart.

The lesson to be learned here is the way you treat your girl. The moment you start thinking about her as an object, you are just being plain selfish and only thinking about yourself. The key to a woman’s heart is to make her feel valued beyond her body by genuinely engaging with her in a stimulating conversation.

Remember, the key to success is to touch her heart first before venturing anywhere else.

5. Love Has No Barriers

In an age where race, religion, and sexuality were considered so important, Casanova was different. His non-acceptance of any artificial barriers made him so attractive to women.

Casanova was obsessed with women from every walk of life. He not only unabashedly dated both younger and older women, but he also cared least about religion and race. Casanova dated Turkish, Greek, Dutch, German, Austrian, Spanish, and French women… and even a lot of Muslim women at a time when this was considered immoral and heretic. Religion or not doesn’t matter. Casanova knew this and only beauty and attraction existed in his book of love.

The moral here is to truly free your love of all barriers. Don’t let society dictate to you, whom you can love and whom you cannot. Love is pure and eternal, and it can just happen with anybody irrespective of race, creed, or religion. The fact that society, your neighbors, or even a freaking law says that there is a constraint to love somebody does not make it forbidden.

Stop caring and just flow along wherever the love takes you. Your task is just to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it and overcome them once and for all.

As Maya Angelou has rightly said.

“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.”

Sources

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2021 Ravi Rajan

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