Rox has had her share of romantic highs and lows, and she's learned how to read when a crush is just a crush or has potential for more.
Does My Crush Like Me Back?
When you have a crush on someone, it’s easy to read into everything they do for significance. “She looked at me and smiled twice in five minutes—she must really like me!” Or “He’s yawning and looks bored. He must hate me!” Trying to figure out whether your crush reciprocates your feelings or not can drive you crazy.
If you are wondering if your crush likes you back, this article will cut through the confusion and give you some signs you can look for.
15 Signs That Your Crush Likes You
- They can't take their eyes off you
- They're nervous around you
- They find excuses to touch you
- They have open body language
- Their friends act weird around you
- They find excuses to call or text
- And they respond to your messages right away
- They make an effort to be around you
- They remember important dates and details
- They try to look their best around you
- They don't like seeing you with other people
- They open up to you
- Everything seems to remind them of you
- They know things about you that you never told them
- They admit to liking you!
On its own, any one of the signs on this list (apart, of course, from the last!) is not a concrete indication that your crush likes you as anything more than a friend. If, however, you notice that many of these signs ring true, your crush may well be crushing on you!
Best of luck!
1. You Often Catch Your Crush Looking at You
Do you notice him or her looking at you when you’re in a group together, or does your crush look directly in your eyes when talking to you? If you notice your crush staring at you, but they quickly look away or pretend to be looking at something else when you make eye contact, it might mean that your crush is shy and you'll have to make the first move!
2. Your Crush Is Nervous Around You
Sometimes being around someone you like can make you act strangely—suddenly the words won't come out right, your brain doesn't seem to work, and you fall all over yourself.
If your crush seems as nervous around you as you are around them, it may mean they like you and really want to impress you. Oftentimes, we’re so nervous around the people we have crushes on that we’re too focused on ourselves to even pay attention to our crush’s behavior or body language.
Next time you're around your crush, take a deep breath and try to notice how they act around you instead of agonizing over how you act around them.
3. Your Crush Finds Excuses to Touch You
Your crush might touch your arm while telling a story or "accidentally" bump into you while reaching for something nearby. While these instances could certainly be innocent, they might also be a sign that your crush is crushing on you right back.
If your crush always seems to find a way to initiate contact, you might want to try doing the same. Next time you tell a funny story, give their arm a squeeze and see how they respond. These subtle clues can be surprisingly powerful!
4. Your Crush Has Open Body Language
Another good sign is if your crush has open body language. They say actions speak louder than words, and I agree. Here are some body language clues to look out for.
Open vs. Closed Body Language
sustained eye contact
avoidance of eye contact (e.g. looking away or at their phone)
smiling and nodding
blank facial expression
body turned toward you
body turned away from you
leaning toward you
leaning away from you
keeping arms and/or legs uncrossed
crossing arms and/or legs
feet pointing toward you
feet pointing away from you
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The next time you talk to your crush, keep the body language clues above in mind. Are your crush's eyes are laser-focused on you when you talk? Is their body leaning in your direction? Do they participate in your discussion not only verbally but also by smiling, nodding, etc.? These are signs they might like you back! (That said, your crush might also just be a really good listener, in which case they're worth keeping around even if nothing romantic develops!)
If, on the other hand, they appear visibly bored and closed off, these might be signs that your crush doesn't like you that way. But before you write someone off completely because they crossed their legs when you were hanging out, consider this snippet from The Definitive Book of Body Language.
One of the most serious errors a novice in body language can make is to interpret a solitary gesture in isolation of other gestures or circumstances. [...] Gestures come in 'sentences' called clusters and invariably reveal the truth about a person's feelings or attitudes. A body language cluster, just like a verbal sentence, needs at least three words in it before you can accurately define each of the words. The 'perceptive' person is the one who can read the body language sentences and accurately match them against the person's verbal sentences. (Pease 21)
5. Your Crush's Friends Act Weird Around You
If your crush tells his or her friends about you (which—let's face it—is basically guaranteed), they may start acting a little weird when they see you, giggling, or whispering back and forth to each other. They might even ask you point-blank how you feel about your crush!
Comments like, "Why don't you sit next to so-and-so?" or "I'll let you two be alone" (often accompanied by a knowing look or giggle) might indicate that your crush said something about crushing on you.
6. Your Crush Finds Excuses to Call or Text
Does your crush often call or text with questions or comments that aren't urgent . . . at all? "Hey, did you hear Katie got a puppy?" "Do you remember the name of that song we were listening to after class last week?"
If you’re getting questions like this—especially at odd hours of the day and night—there's a good chance your crush is really just looking for a reason to talk to you. This is especially true if the answer to the question can easily be found with a quick Google search or by asking someone else.
If your crush stays on the phone or continues your text convo longer than it takes to answer the question, you’re golden!
7. And They Respond to Your Messages Right Away
Does your crush get back to you immediately, even when you text them at odd hours? This is a good sign that you're on their mind as much as they're on yours! Bonus points if they use cute emojis in their messages to you.
8. Your Crush Makes an Effort to Be Around You
Is your crush always available when you ask them to hang out? If they prioritize spending time with you over seeing their other friends, it's a good indication that they're romantically interested in you.
Does your crush always seem to end up near you even when there are lots of other people around? If every party ends with your crush gravitating in your direction, they may have feelings for you too.
What If Your Crush Is a Close Friend?
Many people start spending time together before officially "dating." Maybe you're part of the same friend group and you start hanging out just the two of you. Maybe you have a regular meet-up time to study together or grab coffee. If you start seeing each other solo on a regular basis, your friendship might be turning into something more.
From my experience, the best relationships start as friendships. Granted, this can make it hard to tell if your crush likes you or like likes you, and the risk of losing a good friend can be scary, but if you start picking up on signs that your friend has a crush on you, it might be worth making a move!
9. They Remember Important Dates and Details
When someone cares about you, they tend to remember important things that others might forget. They'll wish you luck before a big exam, ask how your interview went, and wish you a happy birthday. They'll remember which foods you enjoy most, what your favorite song is, and how much you hate that stupid nickname (which naturally, they'll never use).
10. They Make Sure They Look Good When You're Around
Preening isn't just for the birds! We tend to want to look our best around the people we're romantically interested in, from putting on the outfits we feel most attractive in to making sure our hair looks perfect and our clothes are wrinkle-free.
If your crush fixes their hair and smooths out their clothes as soon as they see you enter a room, there's a good chance they want you to see them in the same way they see you—as a total catch!
11. They Don't Like Seeing You With Other People
Does your crush's mood darken when they see or hear about you hanging out with someone else? This might be because they'd rather be the one spending time with you!
Note: A little jealousy can be a good thing, but be wary of someone who gets upset whenever you spend time with someone else. Possessiveness is a huge red flag!
12. They Open Up to You
It takes courage and trust to tell a secret or embarrassing story about yourself, so it's a good sign if your crush does so with you. This shows you've gained their trust and that they care deeply about you.
When your crush opens up to you, listen carefully and show them you're worthy of their trust.
13. Everything Seems to Remind Them of You
"Hey, I went to the bookstore the other day and picked up that biography you were telling me about!" "I saw this movie last week that you would've loved!"
If your crush is constantly telling you about things they've seen or done that remind them of you, the implication should be clear—they simply can't get you off of their mind!
14. They Know Things About You That You Never Told Them
If your crush has been crushing on you, chances are they want to know as much about you as possible. This means they might ask your friends about you or try to learn more about you on social media.
So if a detail about you slips out in conversation that you've never shared with them, it's a pretty good sign they like you enough to have done some digging of their own.
15. Your Crush Admits to Liking You!
This is, of course, the strongest sign of all. If you've been noticing some of the hints above, then why not muster up the courage to tell your crush how you feel? Sometimes they might just need an extra push—particularly if they're shy.
Though opening up about your feelings can be scary, it can also be really worthwhile. If your crush likes you back, great! If not, you can stop agonizing over whether they like you and start moving on with your life. What have you got to lose? Go ahead and ask!
© 2019 Roxanne Robbins