"Good guys finish last." Are you one of them? Are women constantly turning you down even though you know you have everything to make them happy? Why would they rather choose a man who understands nothing about their feelings over a good, sensitive guy like you?
First off, you must understand this: a woman doesn't reject you because you're too much of a "good guy", they do so because they don't see in you the traits they are looking for in a mate. Of course, you and I both know that you do have all the qualities a truly good partner should have: respectful, loyal, caring, attentive. So why for Christ's sake would a woman NOT want this?
Three Fundamental Things That Make Women Want To Be With You
Here are the three most important things for a woman when it comes to deciding whether she wants to be in a relationship with a guy or not. Because you must be aware of what women really want, before you can give it to them.
1. Reputation. Image. Self-worth.
Ask yourself: How do others perceive me? Do I have a good reputation in my circle? Would a woman be proud to be with a guy like me?
The amount of respect you get from your peers is very important to a woman. Why? Because that respect will transfer to her once she is in a relationship with you. Of course this works both ways. You want a good, respectable woman, so that together, you make a respectable couple. And that's exactly what a woman dreams of: She wants to be part of a power couple (a la Brangelina), a relationship that will make everyone envious of her. The quality, image, strength of her relationship define everything that she is. Every woman's top priority in life is to find and build such a relationship.
So yes, respect is a major turn-on for women. Being with a well respected man makes a woman feel confident, valued, safe, and important, all at once.
Remember this: a woman does not want to be loved by a man she does not admire, but she would sacrifice everything to be with a man she does. Hence the reason why women are generally attracted to men who are somewhat popular. Like it or not, popularity often comes hand in hand with respect, and, even when it doesn't, some women do tend to confuse the two.
So how do you become a respectable man any woman would desire? In a nutshell: you don't need to try to turn yourself into the social guru here. Just work on your social skills and improve them, excel at your job, look presentable, don't smell bad. All of this will automatically make you gain other people's respect, including that of the Cleopatra you wish to conquer.
Women smell desperation from a mile away. So don't act like you're ready to give her the world just because you like her. Don't elevate her to some divine level of worship -- don't give her presents, don't buy her drinks, don't give her rides in your car, don't massage her feet. You think all of these will make her see what a "good guy" you are because you can spoil her more than anyone else can, but trust me, this only screams desperation and can bring even the sweetest girl to take advantage of your good heart. Don't be naïve. Don't give too much right away and expect her to give back... because she won't. And you'll be heartbroken (and we don't want that).
Your time and attention are valuable things that must be earned, even by the hottest women. She won't want your love if she knows it's already been handed out to every other girl out there. But if she thinks it's not something you just give out to the common mortal, she will (consciously or not) become competitive against other women and she will want to be that special someone who gets your attention. Yes, that means she will actually make efforts to earn your love. But for her to start doing this, you must believe it yourself: she must prove to you that she's special enough to deserve your love. See it as a fair trade -- she's gotta give for you to give. Of course this doesn't mean you should be a selfish jerk -- there's a fine line between being fair and being cheap. Treating her dinner is common courtesy (at least the first one). Just make sure you start off as equals. Any woman will admire you for it.
So, how must you act when facing the oh almighty queen of your heart? Well it's quite simple. All you have to remember is the following. Act like you do not care about your outcome with her, that you have plenty of choices (because you do after all), and that you are a picky guy. Trust me. This is the attitude that will make you the most powerful chick magnet ever.
Of course, you have to let these things come naturally to you. Don't try too hard and don't start playing mind games; this can be picked up very well by women and they will just see you as a vicious manipulator and run away. Start off slowly; you have to believe in yourself first before women start believing you. If you play your cards right, in a matter of weeks, you will have more than a few women fighting for your attention.
I cannot tell you how an important role timing plays in the game of love. It's all about it. Know this: there is always a time in a woman's life when she will be more inclined to give a chance to a guy. If right now for instance the woman you've got eyes for is being pursued by a million other guys and getting whatever she wants from them, well, your chances are slim to impossible. All you can do is stick around, be her friend, don't be clingy, and mostly don't let her put you in the same basket as all those other men who are kissing her feet. In fact, don't give her any attention; this will leave her wondering why she is attracting everyone else but you, and she will actually remember you for it.
Now, when is the good timing? It's rather simple. The right time is the time of need. You need to be there when she needs it. And I don't mean when she needs a ride or a free drink. You need to be around when she is feeling lonely, vulnerable, weak. Every woman has those moments and they will open up to just anyone. I cannot tell you how many times I've seen average joes score a dream girl just by being at the right place at the right time... And by scoring, I don't mean banging, but having a real, solid, long-term relationship with them.
So, at last, my good man...
It's time for you to get rid of that curse that's been following you for too long, make a great man out of yourself, work your way to the top and get that woman you've only dreamed of until now. You deserve her and you know it... Ya just gotta smarten up and earn it through some hard work, like anything else in life.
Want something you've never had? Do what you've never done.
Remember... Girls don't want a good guy, they want A GREAT GUY ;)
Jessica on January 14, 2020:
Hey guys- Woman speaking here... this has got to be one of the most ridiculous and contradict I’ve things I’ve read in a while. Women don’t want these games, they want security. They want a safe place they can trust will always be there.
Don’t get me wrong, the dating thing can be tricky when it comes to being too clingy but this is NOT the way to do it
Kyle on September 09, 2018:
What to do if you already made the mistake of going to fast with her how do I fix that mistake so we can be together?
John on September 04, 2018:
How about three reasons why I should want to be with a woman? Or even one? I won't be holding my breath ...
gijoe on August 21, 2018:
good men have no timing only patience and persistance... that can go out if a woman forgets about the man bc she thinks that always the right one will be somewhere there... sometimes he waits but better check before you plan a life for both of you.
JimBob on June 21, 2018:
I believe this is really how things go when it comes to meeting women. Desperation is cute for women not for guys. You will come across as a tool and that's no bueno!!!!!
Marcupooh on June 06, 2018:
Ain’t this the truth. The sad truth is the second one
Tedkpoland on April 23, 2018:
I am a single man who has a heart of gold I will be at my best to find my soul mate I'm looking for a long time girl friend who is a hottie and a goddess
John on April 09, 2018:
Please explain why I'd want to be with a woman
S-- on February 20, 2018:
Laughably wrong and generalized article. Typical feminist. Obviously she doesn't have positive experience with men.
A lesbian on December 07, 2017:
This is accurate!
Wangai Gitahi from Nairobi, Kenya on May 06, 2015:
the article is a great one. the three key rules in this games to remember.......
Nicholas on December 13, 2014:
The Truth on September 02, 2014:
It is very hard just to meet a good woman to have a relationship with nowadays.