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How to Win the Heart of Philippine Women - A Concise Guide to Dating a Filipina

Updated on November 12, 2015

Who do you think is the most beautiful?

Binibining Pilipinas 2008 contestants in their evening gown.
Binibining Pilipinas 2008 contestants in their evening gown. | Source

These days, communicating with someone you like is super easy. You have a lot of options. You can choose to send an email or text message, to call, or to chat. We even have what is called video chat or video call so you can see the person live while chatting or talking, which is very popular in online dating.

We also have social media networks where meeting new friends has been made easier and faster. The way of communication has indeed advanced in a way that no one has ever anticipated. It made the world flatter and flatter everyday with new innovations. It is just simply amazing.

However, most Filipina women desire more than this, more than communication. Although many are now using technologies to meet potential partners or lovers, they want a deeper relationship, a bond that will last forever. They are looking for someone who will genuinely value their worth as a woman, as an Asian woman, and as a Filipina.

So what are the qualities Philippine women look for a potential foreign partner or husband? I have listed as many of the top characters that many of us, Filipinas, are considering above anything else.

1) CHRISTIAN

The Philippines is largely a Christian country. The most recent record reveals that around 85 percent of the population is Christian either Roman Catholic (80%), Evangelical (1.8%, Iglesia ni Cristo (.7%), Aglipayan (1.1%), or others (2.2%).

Since most Filipinas grew up in a Christian family, they have been raised to find someone who shares the same faith. In fact, it is the number one requirement for most families. Believe it or not, but there are parents who will immediately dismiss a suitor if he is not a Christian. I tell you, it is rare to find a family who does not highly consider this quality.

But of course, if you are a Christian, you have a high chance to get the approval of her family and of course, the heart of your chosen lady. Some are even willing to disregard your past as long as you are a Christian.

Most Filipinos believe that a Christian faith guarantees a changed life so they feel confident of you dating their daughter. Faith and religion are two aspects that are very personal and of utmost importance to Philippine women.

Are you a Christian?

Christian faith.
Christian faith. | Source

Do you think your faith should be a requirement?

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2) WELCOMING

Generally, Filipinos are the shy type, especially when it comes to people coming from other nations. They are shy to talk or mingle with foreigners, whether you are an American, Australian, European, Japanese, Korean, or what. Primarily because of their English skill.

Although almost all Filipinos know how to speak English, it is not their native language so they feel uncomfortable using it, most especially if they are talking to someone who is a native English speaker. They are very concerned about their pronunciation and grammar. They're afraid you will laugh at them. But if you are very friendly to them by smiling and initiating a conversation, you will be amazed at how humorous they can be.

Another point is that Filipinos have a high regard to foreigners, especially American, Australian, and European. They think that they have lots of money or are very rich compared to them, who are struggling to get out from poverty. And so, there's a bit of intimidating atmosphere that can be expected. They feel inferior. That is why whenever they see a foreigner, they do whatever they can to please them or serve them. So break the ice. As much as possible, be very welcoming so they will not feel intimated.

It's also because of the difference in skin color. Filipinos in general have brown skin. So, whenever they see someone who have white or fair skin, they get struck. And then, they compare their brown skin. A fair skin person is actually highly attractive to them. Some even correlates fair skin with wealth. If you have fair skin, they automatically think you are rich or you come from a wealthy family. So be welcoming to them. Don't let them feel different from you. Let them feel at ease talking and mingling with you like you are one of them.

Your lady might be living in a mountainous province.

A hut or house in the middle of a field, surrounded with coconut trees.
A hut or house in the middle of a field, surrounded with coconut trees. | Source

3) RESPECTFUL

If you will go to Metro Manila, you will observe that the people there always use the words "po" at "opo". And, these are actually terms that show respect for Filipinos. They can immediately tell if someone is respectful or not through the usage of these words. Both of these are actually words of affirmation. So, for instance, if the parents will call you, "John, common here, let's eat." You will say, "Opo, cge po. Salamat po", which means, "Yes, okay sure.Thank you."

Respect is a topic that's also highly sensitive to Filipinos. In fact, you, as a foreigner, might even be considered disrespectful because of your frank and direct talk or expressions. Sir, ma'am, and madam are the most commonly used words to politely and respectfully call someone, especially to people of higher ranks or people who have finished college or have passed professional exams like Dr., Atty., Engr., and others.

If ever you have time, try to attend a political gathering and you will be amazed to hear Filipinos calling their leaders honorable, despite the fact that some of them are known for graft and corrupt practices as well as gambling.

And as far as I am concerned, I can really see that Filipinos feel inferior or intimated whenever they talk to someone or they are introduced to someone who has a college degree or a title. It's like you belong to the upper class of the society.

The kissing of hands of the elderly, mano po, handshake, and beso-beso (cheek to cheek greeting) are the commonly used respectful gestures in the Philippines. Whenever you see an elderly or someone who is older than you, you have to do mano po. Mano po is done by taking the right hand of a person and bringing it towards your forehead with the back portion touching your forehead. A handshake is done when you meet a new friend. The beso-beso gesture, on the other hand, are mostly done by the women. They do it as a greeting or as a goodbye gesture.

The Filipino tradition of mano po.

a son taking the hand of his mom and putting it to his forehead to show respect.
a son taking the hand of his mom and putting it to his forehead to show respect. | Source

Are Filipinos using respect in the wrong way?

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4) FLEXIBLE

The Philippines is a third world country so don't expect too much from the people or from the community when it comes to resources. If your lady lives in a small house, nipa hut, or in a squatter's area, don't let her feel that you are sorry about it or that you feel sad about it. And, most importantly, don't let her feel that you are disgusted of the area, of the surrounding, or what. Just go with the flow. If it is your first time to see poverty live, right before your eyes, then just imagine you are living or walking in a palace so you won't feel bad.

Only a small percentage of the family in the Philippines have their own cars. Most people commute when going somewhere. And, your lady might be one of them. So expect that you will ride a jeepney, a trisikad or tricycle, a habal-habal or motorcycle, and public buses, vans, and trains without seat belts.

Most Filipino families eat using their hands. They do not use spoon and fork. For them, the food tastes better when eaten using their hands. So whenever your woman does this, just go with the flow. Let her teach you how to do it properly. But of course, don't ever forget to wash your hands before taking something on your plate.

And, if your girl lives in an uptown area, be ready to walk in the mud barefoot to go to their place, especially during the rainy season in the Philippines. So just bring alcohol or anti-bacterial soap with you or perhaps wear regular barn boots.

Want a ride? Habal-habal transpo in the Philippines.

Riding a motorcycle or habal-habal in the Philippines.
Riding a motorcycle or habal-habal in the Philippines. | Source

The most popular mode of transport in the Philippines - jeepney.

An overload jeepney in the Philippines.
An overload jeepney in the Philippines. | Source

Ride a tricycle or trisikad.

Trisikad or tricycle in the Philippines.
Trisikad or tricycle in the Philippines. | Source

Do you think you can survive a ride in habal-habal, jeepney, and trisikad ?

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5) FAITHFUL

Filipinas are the most faithful partner you can ever have. They are very loyal to their partner. You can't even expect them talking with other men just so they can avoid temptations. They are stick to one women. And so, they also like their potential partner to do the same.

And take note, marriage is highly sacred to them. As much as possible, they aim to be with their husband forever. Marriage is therefore a lifetime commitment for Filipinas. So being faithful is highly important.

Whenever they have disagreements or disputes with their husband, they work hard or use all means to solve them so their union will continue or will be preserved, even to the point of becoming a battered wife or sacrificing their own happiness, freedom and worth as a woman.

Oops! Don't look the other way please!

A man looking at a girl.
A man looking at a girl. | Source

Do you think you can stay in a relationship forever?

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6) FAMILY-ORIENTED

Filipinos are highly family-oriented. It is not new to see an extended household. The grandfather, grandmother, parents, kids, cousins, and relatives may actually be found in one home. They love their families so much.

Blood is thicker than water for them. They are ready to do everything just for their family's welfare. And so, expect Filipinas to see if you love your own family or their family.

Do you love kids?

A dad with his daughter on the beach.
A dad with his daughter on the beach. | Source

Do you think having a kid is a must for married couples?

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7) HONORABLE

They are keen observers, especially when it comes to men. At the moment you get to talk personally, they look through you. They search for signs where you both can get along very well.

And, many of the best women around greatly welcome a man of honor. By this, you must be someone they can be proud of. Not just through your outside appearance but also by your gentle heart.

The point here is you show respect. You recognize that she deserves to be treated like a princess. If she says no, then don't force her. Instead, react in a formal and dignified manner. Remember, she might say no now, but who knows what will happen later. As the saying goes, love moves in mysterious ways.

Are you gentleman enough?

A soldier helping an Iraqi woman cross a water-filled street.
A soldier helping an Iraqi woman cross a water-filled street. | Source

8) NATURAL

Let her in without any reservations or so. Most Filipinas are actually very sensitive to this. They are able to identify whether you're untrue or not. They can read it on how you speak and react. They're able to detect if you are hiding your real self. And, this becomes a warning signal to them.

Because she observes you're not being real, she will do the same in the name of fairness. As a result, no healthy and enjoyable conversation can take place. And, because of this, the two of you will go home without finding any chemistry or connection.

So, let the conversation flow the way it should be. Just relax, be confident, and be happy. Oftentimes, a good humor creates a long lasting impression.

It's all about humor.

A happy couple.
A happy couple. | Source

9) DEMOCRATIC

Yes, there is democracy in communication. Both of you have the right to speak and be heard. You can talk anything under the sun with humor but with respect. You need to listen when she speaks, and let her finish before you give a comment.

And, make sure that you express your ideas in such a way that it will benefit both of you. Acknowledging the value of her idea before you start yours can be very effective to win her confidence.

Make her realize that you are one of the people who understand her, one who is able to value what she has to say about different matters. This way, you'll be able to draw her close to you, the start of your love story.

Give and take is important in a relationship.

A dating couple talking.
A dating couple talking. | Source

10) CONSISTENT

If you are really serious about her, then do not go out with other women. Your eyes should only be for her. Make the communication exclusive.

And, if she does something discouraging, do not mind it. She may just set it up in order to test you, so go on and continue to reveal your heart for her.

If she is experiencing a great problem, be ready to help in any way you can. Be there for her always. Become her knight in shining armor. And, she will never forget you, giving you a place in her heart.

Your love must be timeless.

A couple holding a heart-shaped balloon.
A couple holding a heart-shaped balloon. | Source

So?

Overall, the bottom line here is - you need to treat her as a human; one who deserves respect and real love. This is the key to win the heart of a Filipina.

Learn more about Filipino culture by watching this video.

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    • chateaudumer profile image

      David B Katague 21 months ago from Northern California and the Philippines

      I enjoy reading this hub. Voted up!

    • profile image

      Frank ike 21 months ago

      I understand and cope with the culture of the philipians and i respect them cos they are humble and respectful i lv them cos they are from a christain country, so am please to marry a philipian woman .

    • Evane profile image
      Author

      Aeva 21 months ago

      Hahahaha :) Yeah, it also puts a big smile on my face everytime I read this post of mine David B Katague. :D Hahaha

    • Evane profile image
      Author

      Aeva 21 months ago

      Hi Frank! It's Filipinos or Filipinas not Philipians :) Thank you for giving us the respect and treatment that we, Philippine women, deserve. It's great to know that you are a Christian and that you married a Filipina? :)

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 21 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Hello Evane. Thank you for following me. This is the first of your hubs I have read and I enjoyed it very much. Your writing style is easy to read and engaging. You offer very in-depth and helpful advice and insight into how to date and win the heart of a Filipino woman. One of my sons is married to a Filipino lady and they are very happy. She is a beautiful person and a cherished addition to our family. I also have known a few other Filipinos and they are wonderful and loyal people. I look forward to reading more of your hubs. Voted up.

    • Evane profile image
      Author

      Aeva 21 months ago

      Hi Jodah! Yeah, thank you so much :) I always make sure to write as simple as possible so everyone in the world can understand. :) I am happy to know that you can testify as to the veracity of the recommendations I listed above. :) You have lots of interesting and awesome hubs, keep it up! Looking forward to reading more of your hubs too :)

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 21 months ago

      Very interesting!

      In all honesty I believe most women at some point in time are looking for the same traits when they're ready to settle down and get married.

      As for the statement: "If you have fair skin, they automatically think you are rich or you come from a wealthy family." That's kind of ridiculous!

      In America there are lots of successful people from various races. Even the president of the United States is black. The CEO of American Express, Xerox, and Chairman of the Board for Microsoft are also black. We have Latino and other races that are senators, millionaires, doctors, lawyers, top sales people in real estate, investments, and so on.

      I believe the mistake a lot of women make in these countries is believing anyone who has the means to visit their country must be "rich"!

      Little do they know the traveler may have put the trip on a credit card or saved up for the trip over the course of a year. Anyone who makes $50,000 per year in the U.S. is far from rich! (However they could afford the trip).

      There is discount special now for a roundtrip ticket from Chicago to Manila for less than $750. That's well within the range for most people who live in the U.S. to afford if they had their heart set on going there.

      I guess what I'm saying is it may be in the best interest for Filipinos not to assume that everyone who visits while on vacation is rich because most them are not, at least not by American standards.

      They should also beware of foreigners who are come to just to get a beautiful bride with the hopes of controlling her in ways that no American or European woman would tolerate.

      Many men have bought into the stereotype of Asian women being docile and submissive to their husbands. They struck out with getting a beautiful woman at home so they flash a few hundred dollar bills and the promise of U.S. citizenship to lure a woman whose appearance would be considered out of their league back home.

    • profile image

      gallusci daniel 20 months ago

      Was amazing to read it ..... culture are different but in this case I think we have to learn about solid values from philippians people ... here family faithfulness .. etc disappeared . and it's wrong .. against what God teached us to be ... glad that some in the world keep bible values stil in her way to live ... I feel really respectful of all that i read and hope will not make any mistakes ... dont wanna hurt nobody .. thank you for that post be blessed ..

      Dan

    • chateaudumer profile image

      David B Katague 20 months ago from Northern California and the Philippines

      philippians people- a new word for me. Filipino people or Pilipino people or people of the Philippines, The Pnoys or Pinays( females) of the Philippines are other words used commonly. I liked philippians though, because it sounds like a biblical word. .

    • Evane profile image
      Author

      Aeva 20 months ago

      Hi dashingscorpio! Thank you so much for the response. I highly appreciate it! Yeah, I understand anyone can be rich and that not only white people are rich. But most Filipinos think that white people are rich. Many Filipinos, in fact, like to have this white, fair, skin, proven by the presence of a great number of whitening products. It is correct that Filipinos should not think that foreigners who are in vacation here are rich. And that we should be very careful because not everyone has this pure desire of marrying a Filipina. :)

    • Evane profile image
      Author

      Aeva 20 months ago

      Hi gallusci daniel! Thank you for taking time reading this hub of mine. Yes, faithfulness, biblical based values are highly important to Filipinos, Pinoys, Pinays or Philippians.

    • Evane profile image
      Author

      Aeva 20 months ago

      Hi chateaudumer! The people of the Philippines are officially called Filipinos. Filipinas for women and Filipinos for men if you want to be very specific. The terms Pinoys and Pinays (Filipinas) are Tagalog terms used to refer to Filipinos. It's actually the first time that I came across with the term Philippians for Filipinos and I think it's inappropriate so people should stop calling us by that name.

    • word55 profile image

      Word 20 months ago from Chicago

      Hi Evane, this was a beautiful article. My brother dealt with a Filipino woman while he was in the Vietnam war. He told me how interesting it was. Anyway, you make them sound like good marriage material. Way to tell it like it is. God bless!

    • Evane profile image
      Author

      Aeva 20 months ago

      Hi word55! Thank you for taking the time to read this hub particular hub :) Where is that Filipina now? I like the word interesting. They must have shared wonderful memories together.

    • Jack Burton profile image

      Jack Burton 20 months ago from The Midwest

      My lovely Filipina wife and I just came back from a 4 week stay in Luzon. After 41 years of being married together one would think we have pretty much worked out all the problems by now. But no... she was put in the middle between the expectations that her mother had about her and the expectations that I had. Some of the time it became painful for her to deal with that conflict. Good thing we are home now. :-)

    • Evane profile image
      Author

      Aeva 20 months ago

      Hi Jack Burton! That's quite intriguing. You can tell me more about it? :)

    • Jack Burton profile image

      Jack Burton 20 months ago from The Midwest

      It was one of those things that would normally be negotiated out with the wife and I and settled between us. We made plans to go to Baguio and do certain things while we were there. Unknown to me her mother changed the plans at the last minute and disrupted certain activities that I had been looking forward to doing for several months.

      My wife knew about the changes and didn't consult me because it was her "mother" who wanted to do things her way. When I eventually found out about it I was fairly upset, and it forced my wife into a position of just whom she was going to have to side with... me or her mother.

      She initially chose her mother but that didn't work real well with our relationship so she had to confront her mother and explain that we couldn't do things her way after all, we were going to do it the way she had first planned with me, her husband. It was a situation where no one really won.

      But... it did give me insight that a 61 year old Filipina who has been married for 41 years will still first defer to what her mother wants instead of what her husband wants. You can take the Filipina out of the country but you can't take the country out of the Filipina. :-)

    • word55 profile image

      Word 20 months ago from Chicago

      Hi Evane, I guess after the war was over and he came back home the relationship was severed. It seems it only lasted as long as the war. He couldn't bring her back to U.S. at that time I reckon.

    • Evane profile image
      Author

      Aeva 20 months ago

      Jack Burton, I think it because we Filipinos have strong family ties. Somewhat like, blood is thicker than water. That's really traditional for many here. But as for me, what she did is partly right and partly wrong. It's fine to ask her mother's suggestions before you because it's a way of respecting our parents, BUT it is not correct that she chose what her mother suggested more than yours. I think the new family that she has, that is with you, is more important. :)

    • Evane profile image
      Author

      Aeva 20 months ago

      Hi there! word55, I see. So there's love in war :) Hahahaha There's romance in the middle of a war :) Hahahaha Well, as they say, love moves in mysterious ways. But the girl wasn't pregnant?

    • Jack Burton profile image

      Jack Burton 20 months ago from The Midwest

      Well, it was not her mother's "suggestions". It was her mother's decision that she arbitrarily made that changed our plans with no input from either of us.

      We have set up new ground rules that we will both follow the next time we are in the PI. It's been 40 years since I was last there so that has not been much of a problem in our lives. :-)

    • Evane profile image
      Author

      Aeva 20 months ago

      Oh :) Yes, it's good that you have set up new rules with respect to that. Yeah, just a trivial matter though.. 40 years ago, wow... Hope you visit the country soon...

    • word55 profile image

      Word 20 months ago from Chicago

      Hi Evane, Personally, I don't think they had an intimate relationship -:).

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