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How to Win the Heart of a Philippine (Filipino) Woman

These days, communicating with someone you like is super easy. There are so many options—you can choose to write an email or send a text message, to call or to chat. You can even make a video call so you can see the person you're talking to, which is very popular in online dating.

We also have social media networks where meeting new friends is easier and faster than ever before. Online communications have indeed advanced in a way that no one ever anticipated. New innovations have made the world increasingly interconnected, and it is simply amazing.

However, most Filipina women desire more than just online communication. Although many are now using technology to meet potential partners or lovers, some want a deeper relationship, a bond that will last forever. They are looking for someone who will genuinely recognize their worth as a woman, as an Asian woman, and as a Filipina.

Qualities That Can Help a Filipina Fall in Love With You

So what qualities do Philippine women look for in a potential foreign partner or husband? These most important values are:

  1. Approachability and open-mindedness
  2. Respectfulness
  3. Flexibility
  4. Faithfulness
  5. Being family-oriented
  6. Honorability
  7. Good communications skills
  8. Being true to yourself
  9. Consistency
  10. Likely, being Christian

Read on to find out more about the top characteristics in a potential partner that many of us Filipinas consider above anything else.

1. Be Welcoming and Approachable

Generally, Filipinos are the shy type, especially when with people from other countries. They might feel timid about talking or mingling with foreigners, whether they are an American, Australian, European, Japanese, or Korean. This is primarily because they are shy about their English-speaking skills.

Although almost all Filipinos know how to speak English, it is not their native language so they might feel uncomfortable using it, especially if they are talking to someone who is a native English speaker. They are very self-conscious about their pronunciation and grammar and are afraid you will laugh at them. But, if you are very friendly to them—smiling and initiating conversations—you will be amazed at how humorous and personable Filipinos can be.

In addition, Filipinos have high regard for foreigners, especially Americans, Australians, and Europeans. They think that they have lots of money compared to Filipinos, many of whom are struggling to get out of poverty, so they might feel a bit intimidated. Because of this, Filipinos will do whatever they can to please a foreigner when they see them. Make sure to break the ice and be as welcoming as possible so that they will not feel intimated.

In addition to the difference in financial situation, Filipinos might also feel intimidated by your difference in skin color. Filipinos, in general, have brown skin. When they see someone who has white or fair skin, they might get a little taken aback and start comparing themselves to you. This is because, in Filipino culture, fair-skinned people are considered very attractive. Some people even correlate fair skin with wealth, and will automatically think you are rich if you have fair skin. So be nice and welcoming to them. Don't let them feel different from you. Talk and mingle with them as if you are one of them.

A hut or house in the middle of a field, surrounded with coconut trees.

A hut or house in the middle of a field, surrounded with coconut trees.

2. Be Respectful

If you go to Metro Manila, you will find that the people there always use the words "po" and "opo". For Filipinos, these are actually terms of respect. They can immediately tell if someone is respectful by whether or not they use these words. "Opo" and "po" are words of affirmation. So, for instance, if her parents call you, "John, come here. Let's eat!" You should say, "Opo, sige po. Salamat po", which means, politely, "Yeah, sure. Thank you."

Respect is a highly sensitive matter for Filipinos. You, as a foreigner, might even be considered disrespectful at times because of your frankness or facial expressions. Sir, ma'am, and madam are commonly used to politely and respectfully call someone, especially those of higher social ranking, people who have finished college, or people who have passed professional exams like Dr., Atty., Engr., and others.

If you have time, attend a political gathering—you will be amazed to hear Filipinos calling their leaders honorable, despite the fact that some of them are known for crass and corrupt practices, in addition to gambling.

From what I have observed, many uneducated Filipinos feel inferior or intimated when talking to someone who has a college degree or a title. It's as if you belong to a higher class of society.

Read More From Pairedlife

Gestures of Respect in the Phillippines

There are also a variety of gestures used to show respect, such as kissing the hands of the elderly, mano po, handshakes, and beso-beso (cheek-to-cheek greetings). Mano po: Whenever you see someone older than you, you have to do mano po. Mano po is done by taking the right hand of the person and bringing it towards your forehead with the back portion touching your forehead.

  • Handshake: Like in many other parts of the world, this is used when meeting a new friend.
  • Beso-beso: This is mostly done by women as a greeting or as a gesture of goodbye.
A son taking the hand of his mom and putting it to his forehead to show respect. This is an example of the Filipino tradition of mano po.

A son taking the hand of his mom and putting it to his forehead to show respect. This is an example of the Filipino tradition of mano po.

3. Be Flexible

The Philippines is a developing country, so don't expect too many comforts and resources. If your lady lives in a small house, nipa hut, or in a squatter house, don't let her feel that you pity her or are sad about it. Most importantly, don't let her feel that you are disgusted. Just go with the flow. If it is your first time seeing poverty in real life, right before your eyes, then just imagine you are living or walking in a palace. You'll get used to it in no time.

Only a small percentage of families in the Philippines have their own cars. Most people take public transportation when going somewhere, and your lady might be one of them. Expect to ride a jeepney, a trisikad (tricycle), a habal-habal (motorcycle), and public buses, vans, and trains without seat belts.

Most Filipino families eat using their hands. They do not use utensils. For them, food tastes better when eaten with their hands. Whenever your woman does this, just go with the flow. Let her teach you how to do it properly. However, don't ever forget to wash your hands before eating something on your plate.

If your girl lives in a hilly area, be ready to walk in the mud barefoot to go to her place, especially during the rainy season. Just bring alcohol or anti-bacterial soap with you (or just wear regular barn boots).

4. Stay Faithful

Most Filipinas are some of the most faithful partners you can ever have. They are very loyal to their partners. You can even expect them to avoid talking to other men just so that they can avoid temptations. They expect their potential partner to do the same.

Take note: marriage is highly sacred to them. They usually aim to be with their husband forever. Marriage is, therefore, a lifetime commitment for Filipinas. Being faithful is very important.

Whenever they have disagreements or disputes with their husband, they work hard to solve them so that their union is preserved. Some will even come to the point of sacrificing their own happiness, freedom, and self-worth: You must make sure not to take advantage of or mistreat her.

5. Be Family-Oriented

Filipinos are very family-oriented. It is not uncommon to see an extended family—the grandfather, grandmother, parents, kids, cousins, and relatives—living in one home. They love their families very much.

For Filipinos, blood is thicker than water, and they are ready to do just about anything for the sake of their family. Expect Filipinas to check how much you love your own family or their family.

A dad with his daughter on the beach.

A dad with his daughter on the beach.

6. Be Honorable

Filipinas are keen observers, especially when it comes to men. When you start getting to know each other, they will search for signs that you both can get along very well.

Many women greatly welcome a man of honor. You must be someone they can be proud of—not just of your outside appearance, but also of your gentle heart.

The point here is that you must show respect and recognize that she deserves to be treated like a princess. If she says no, then don't force it. Instead, react in a respectful and dignified manner.

8. Be Democratic

There is democracy to found in communication. Both of you have the right to speak and be heard. You can talk about anything under the sun, but with respect. You need to listen when she speaks, and let her finish before you make a comment.

And, make sure to express your ideas in a way that will benefit both of you. Acknowledging the value of her ideas before you start yours can be very effective in winning her confidence.

Make her understand that you get her and value what she has to say about different matters. This way, you'll be able to bring her close to you, forming the start of your love story.

It is important for every relationship to have an element of give and take.

It is important for every relationship to have an element of give and take.

7. Be Yourself

Open up to her without any reservation. Most Filipinas are actually very sensitive to how open you are—they are able to identify whether you're being true to yourself or not. By how you speak and act, they'll be able to tell if you are hiding your true self or not. If you are, this becomes a red flag to them.

If she notices that you're not being honest, she will do the same. As a result, no healthy and enjoyable conversation will take place. This means that you'll go home without having found any chemistry.

So, let the conversation flow the way it should. Just relax and be confident and positive. Oftentimes, good humor creates a lasting impression.

9. Stay Consistent

If you are really serious about her, then do not go out with other women. Your eyes should only be for her. Be exclusive.

If she does something that is slightly discouraging, pay no mind to it. She may just have done it in order to test you—go on and continue to reveal your heart to her.

If she is dealing with a big problem, be ready to help her in any way you can. Make sure that you're always there for her. Become her knight in shining armor. You'll become unforgettable to her.

Christian faith.

Christian faith.

10. (Possibly) Be Christian

The Philippines is a majority Christian country. The most recent record revealed that around 85% of the population is Christian: either Roman Catholic (80%), Evangelical (1.8%), Iglesia ni Cristo (.7%), Aglipayan (1.1%), or other (2.2%).

Since most Filipinas grow up in a Christian family, many have been raised to find someone who shares the same faith. In fact, for most families, it is the number one requirement. Believe it or not, there are parents who will immediately dismiss a suitor if he is not Christian. It is rare to find a family who does not heavily consider this quality.

If you are Christian, you have a high chance of getting the approval of her family and of course, the heart of your chosen lady. Many Filipinos believe that the Christian faith guarantees a changed life, so they'll feel confident of you dating their daughter. Faith and religion are two aspects that are very personal and of utmost importance to Philippine women.

The Bottome Line

At the end of the day, you need to treat her as a human, as someone who deserves respect and real love. That is the key to winning the heart of a Filipina.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2014 Aeva Gono


Rezeik on June 29, 2020:

Filipino women are NOT some of the most faithful. My Filipino wife of just 6 years, with whom I have a beautiful 4 year old daughter cheated on me within a few months of starting a job that she wanted. She started in February 2019, and within a month was already flirting with and texting another married man. By June she had sex with him and the relationship continued for a year until the man died and his wife found all my wife's love notes to him. All the time she told me each day she loved me, texted me each day during her work dinner break, and told me she loved me. Now she claims she didn't really love him that she just got caught up in someone else wanting her. Her love notes expressed deep love and a desire to be with him forever. He was already married to an Asian woman and yet pursued my wife, and clearly she was quite willing, lying to my face, and taking many very clever steps to cover everything. She was even almost exposed in September 2019 when a former friend and coworker of her told me something was up between my wife and the other man. I foolishly trusted my wife and believed her when she said her former friend was just jealous of her that more people at work like her. My wife even deleted all her texts so I couldn't see what was being said between her and her lover. I was quite blind but at that point I later learned they had already had sex. Much to my pain I still love her but don't know how I can ever trust her again.

Javier on December 31, 2019:

Excellent and extremely accurate article.

Salamat and well done!

Paul Lee on December 12, 2019:

I first started writing to my Philippine wife in 1981 where she was working as a Nanny from 1979 to 1984 in Tokyo, Japan (Roppongi) but she was 33 (single) and I was 40 (divorced)~we wrote the slow mail until I told her I would fly to Tokyo Japan July 1, 1984. After four years of being a PEN PAL she said she would marry me~so I flew to Tokyo Japan and stayed at the Asian Center Hotel in Roppongi Japan~we got married July 12, 1984 in the Japanese embassy. We had a month long honey moon and after five months she joined me in the United States~after five years she became an American citizen. But when i met my Philippine asawa (wife) she was better then I had hoped for and for almost 35 years she has retired with me in 2006 from our respective jobs at Diamond Electric and the Ford Motor Company. We do not have any children and although she was not happy with this she thought I would change my mind about children~I can't have children. Period. So sadly she accepted her lot to be childless but marriage is about communications and as long as the object of matrimony is mutal happiness~then you should have a greater chance of a happy and long marriage. Since we married I bought 3 homes and one of them is Sumat~Negroes Occidental where her brother Bebing Edgar Rosquillo lives with his five daughters and his asawa (wife) Emily. Although I prefer Manilla living compared to the Negroes Occidental ~Bacolod City? we go back and forth but prefer to stay in Makati, Manilla, Philippines...Now my wife is almost 68 and I am almost 70~I have no regrets in marrying my Filipino wife (Louella Olvida Rosquillo Yoas~but you never know a person until you live with them and you should never take anything for granted as in life~~people change. Its best if you find a person who you can talk to in your own language (English) and also if you are Christian..your wife should be a Christian also~~life is easier if you both have FAITH in God. So research the website and there is a Philippine book called "Culture Shock" and you can expect a culture shock whenever you go into another country that is not the U.S.A. Good luck and if you have a friend that already knows some Philippine women or men..then this could bridge the gap to finding a candidate for marriage. God Luck

salamat all on May 14, 2019:

Hey all...interesting reading here. I strictly by chance met a lovely woman online..which a ldr has blossomed much. Met her in June of 2018 and paid my first visit to her in Taguig City in Oct/Nov same year. I am a 57yr white American male..and she a 47yo true blood Filipino lady. She actually seemed to be the one most shy and reserved at first...and I thought it would have been From day one she would always turn to me after leaving my Condo,,and allow me to kiss her on cheek only. Later heard from her friends that this is actually a good sign and an honor to allow this so soon. Wow...I never even expected that! Day before I was to leave I could tell she seemed a little saddened..But finally came uo to me a gave to me a quick smoochy wet kiss on the lips...I thought I saw fireworks...haha. I respectfully asked her what that was for...and her answer was "YOU". You see...after all I was not there for sex or nothing of the sort...but to find someone special...and I feel she sensed this, She told to me she for the first 2 weeks were to feel me out to see if all I had said to her in past was the truth about me. I always stated I was an honorable..honest...sincere..and loyal man...that this was not a game for me at all. This was all she was looking for in just be honest. She is no scam...she showed me all about herself..and even gave to me a background check of herself since she works at City Hall nOw nearly a year later..we are inseperable online and in Facebook...hehe. We have proven to each other many things for this to happen...most of all pure honesty. Hec I am not the best looking man around by FAR...and just make a modest average income. But with her and I looks are not is what lies within the person and their soul. We feel God has brought us together for a reason...and a good enough of one to explore this further. Either she will be coming here for 3 weeks in fall..if she can get a visa...or I shall go to her again...either way it needs to happen to maybe take the next step. I am even right now making tentative plans to retire there,,,hopefully with her at my side...God willing. Sorry to ramble but just wished to make a point here,..Not all Filipinos are scams or bad..just feel them out honest and sincere,,this will take you a long way with them....then go from there. Praying to God as she is bring us together again plan for future. Take care all..God Bless

gerard on March 20, 2019:

hello i have question, my girlfriend is filipina, im german, most of the time im there but so now and then i hav to go home to settle things, she has a friend (man) and she went out with him to another island, when im not around, is that ok? for me it isnt, i dont like that kind of things,

david katague on October 14, 2018:

Buster, not all filipino women are gold diggers. 90% is too high a figure. Like all cultures, there are bad ones. So you must be careful in your selection of Filipino women, test a woman first before you commit a permanent relationship.

Steve Fisher on June 09, 2018:

I met a Filipina woman on line we have gone out 2 times I really have falling for her but she is playing hard to get, I know already I want to spend my life with her,

Can any one tell me how can I win her heart

Thank you

Jack Burton from The Midwest on October 19, 2017:

Well, our last visit to the family in the PI has come and gone and it worked out better for all. There was a clear understanding between my wife and I over what was expected and what would be tolerated -- and not tolerated.

When clear lines are understood by all it makes the experience better. Sometimes those lines need to be clarified in the midst of social interaction, and sometimes they can be worked out beforehand.

Al Wordlaw from Chicago on August 17, 2015:

Hi Evane, Personally, I don't think they had an intimate relationship -:).

Aeva Gono (author) from Philippines on August 12, 2015:

Oh :) Yes, it's good that you have set up new rules with respect to that. Yeah, just a trivial matter though.. 40 years ago, wow... Hope you visit the country soon...

Jack Burton from The Midwest on August 12, 2015:

Well, it was not her mother's "suggestions". It was her mother's decision that she arbitrarily made that changed our plans with no input from either of us.

We have set up new ground rules that we will both follow the next time we are in the PI. It's been 40 years since I was last there so that has not been much of a problem in our lives. :-)

Aeva Gono (author) from Philippines on August 12, 2015:

Hi there! word55, I see. So there's love in war :) Hahahaha There's romance in the middle of a war :) Hahahaha Well, as they say, love moves in mysterious ways. But the girl wasn't pregnant?

Aeva Gono (author) from Philippines on August 12, 2015:

Jack Burton, I think it because we Filipinos have strong family ties. Somewhat like, blood is thicker than water. That's really traditional for many here. But as for me, what she did is partly right and partly wrong. It's fine to ask her mother's suggestions before you because it's a way of respecting our parents, BUT it is not correct that she chose what her mother suggested more than yours. I think the new family that she has, that is with you, is more important. :)

Al Wordlaw from Chicago on August 11, 2015:

Hi Evane, I guess after the war was over and he came back home the relationship was severed. It seems it only lasted as long as the war. He couldn't bring her back to U.S. at that time I reckon.

Jack Burton from The Midwest on August 11, 2015:

It was one of those things that would normally be negotiated out with the wife and I and settled between us. We made plans to go to Baguio and do certain things while we were there. Unknown to me her mother changed the plans at the last minute and disrupted certain activities that I had been looking forward to doing for several months.

My wife knew about the changes and didn't consult me because it was her "mother" who wanted to do things her way. When I eventually found out about it I was fairly upset, and it forced my wife into a position of just whom she was going to have to side with... me or her mother.

She initially chose her mother but that didn't work real well with our relationship so she had to confront her mother and explain that we couldn't do things her way after all, we were going to do it the way she had first planned with me, her husband. It was a situation where no one really won.

But... it did give me insight that a 61 year old Filipina who has been married for 41 years will still first defer to what her mother wants instead of what her husband wants. You can take the Filipina out of the country but you can't take the country out of the Filipina. :-)

Aeva Gono (author) from Philippines on August 10, 2015:

Hi Jack Burton! That's quite intriguing. You can tell me more about it? :)

Jack Burton from The Midwest on August 10, 2015:

My lovely Filipina wife and I just came back from a 4 week stay in Luzon. After 41 years of being married together one would think we have pretty much worked out all the problems by now. But no... she was put in the middle between the expectations that her mother had about her and the expectations that I had. Some of the time it became painful for her to deal with that conflict. Good thing we are home now. :-)

Aeva Gono (author) from Philippines on August 09, 2015:

Hi word55! Thank you for taking the time to read this hub particular hub :) Where is that Filipina now? I like the word interesting. They must have shared wonderful memories together.

Al Wordlaw from Chicago on August 09, 2015:

Hi Evane, this was a beautiful article. My brother dealt with a Filipino woman while he was in the Vietnam war. He told me how interesting it was. Anyway, you make them sound like good marriage material. Way to tell it like it is. God bless!

Aeva Gono (author) from Philippines on August 08, 2015:

Hi chateaudumer! The people of the Philippines are officially called Filipinos. Filipinas for women and Filipinos for men if you want to be very specific. The terms Pinoys and Pinays (Filipinas) are Tagalog terms used to refer to Filipinos. It's actually the first time that I came across with the term Philippians for Filipinos and I think it's inappropriate so people should stop calling us by that name.

Aeva Gono (author) from Philippines on August 08, 2015:

Hi gallusci daniel! Thank you for taking time reading this hub of mine. Yes, faithfulness, biblical based values are highly important to Filipinos, Pinoys, Pinays or Philippians.

Aeva Gono (author) from Philippines on August 08, 2015:

Hi dashingscorpio! Thank you so much for the response. I highly appreciate it! Yeah, I understand anyone can be rich and that not only white people are rich. But most Filipinos think that white people are rich. Many Filipinos, in fact, like to have this white, fair, skin, proven by the presence of a great number of whitening products. It is correct that Filipinos should not think that foreigners who are in vacation here are rich. And that we should be very careful because not everyone has this pure desire of marrying a Filipina. :)

David B Katague from Northern California and the Philippines on August 08, 2015:

philippians people- a new word for me. Filipino people or Pilipino people or people of the Philippines, The Pnoys or Pinays( females) of the Philippines are other words used commonly. I liked philippians though, because it sounds like a biblical word. .

gallusci daniel on August 08, 2015:

Was amazing to read it ..... culture are different but in this case I think we have to learn about solid values from philippians people ... here family faithfulness .. etc disappeared . and it's wrong .. against what God teached us to be ... glad that some in the world keep bible values stil in her way to live ... I feel really respectful of all that i read and hope will not make any mistakes ... dont wanna hurt nobody .. thank you for that post be blessed ..


dashingscorpio from Chicago on August 04, 2015:

Very interesting!

In all honesty I believe most women at some point in time are looking for the same traits when they're ready to settle down and get married.

As for the statement: "If you have fair skin, they automatically think you are rich or you come from a wealthy family." That's kind of ridiculous!

In America there are lots of successful people from various races. Even the president of the United States is black. The CEO of American Express, Xerox, and Chairman of the Board for Microsoft are also black. We have Latino and other races that are senators, millionaires, doctors, lawyers, top sales people in real estate, investments, and so on.

I believe the mistake a lot of women make in these countries is believing anyone who has the means to visit their country must be "rich"!

Little do they know the traveler may have put the trip on a credit card or saved up for the trip over the course of a year. Anyone who makes $50,000 per year in the U.S. is far from rich! (However they could afford the trip).

There is discount special now for a roundtrip ticket from Chicago to Manila for less than $750. That's well within the range for most people who live in the U.S. to afford if they had their heart set on going there.

I guess what I'm saying is it may be in the best interest for Filipinos not to assume that everyone who visits while on vacation is rich because most them are not, at least not by American standards.

They should also beware of foreigners who are come to just to get a beautiful bride with the hopes of controlling her in ways that no American or European woman would tolerate.

Many men have bought into the stereotype of Asian women being docile and submissive to their husbands. They struck out with getting a beautiful woman at home so they flash a few hundred dollar bills and the promise of U.S. citizenship to lure a woman whose appearance would be considered out of their league back home.

Aeva Gono (author) from Philippines on August 04, 2015:

Hi Jodah! Yeah, thank you so much :) I always make sure to write as simple as possible so everyone in the world can understand. :) I am happy to know that you can testify as to the veracity of the recommendations I listed above. :) You have lots of interesting and awesome hubs, keep it up! Looking forward to reading more of your hubs too :)

John Hansen from Gondwana Land on August 04, 2015:

Hello Evane. Thank you for following me. This is the first of your hubs I have read and I enjoyed it very much. Your writing style is easy to read and engaging. You offer very in-depth and helpful advice and insight into how to date and win the heart of a Filipino woman. One of my sons is married to a Filipino lady and they are very happy. She is a beautiful person and a cherished addition to our family. I also have known a few other Filipinos and they are wonderful and loyal people. I look forward to reading more of your hubs. Voted up.

Aeva Gono (author) from Philippines on August 02, 2015:

Hi Frank! It's Filipinos or Filipinas not Philipians :) Thank you for giving us the respect and treatment that we, Philippine women, deserve. It's great to know that you are a Christian and that you married a Filipina? :)

Aeva Gono (author) from Philippines on August 02, 2015:

Hahahaha :) Yeah, it also puts a big smile on my face everytime I read this post of mine David B Katague. :D Hahaha

Frank ike on August 02, 2015:

I understand and cope with the culture of the philipians and i respect them cos they are humble and respectful i lv them cos they are from a christain country, so am please to marry a philipian woman .

David B Katague from Northern California and the Philippines on August 01, 2015:

I enjoy reading this hub. Voted up!

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