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How to Win the Heart of a Philippine (Filipino) Woman

These days, communicating with someone you like is super easy. There are so many options—you can choose to write an email or send a text message, to call or to chat. You can even make a video call so you can see the person you're talking to, which is very popular in online dating.

We also have social media networks where meeting new friends is easier and faster than ever before. Online communications have indeed advanced in a way that no one ever anticipated. New innovations have made the world increasingly interconnected, and it is simply amazing.

However, most Filipina women desire more than just online communication. Although many are now using technology to meet potential partners or lovers, some want a deeper relationship, a bond that will last forever. They are looking for someone who will genuinely recognize their worth as a woman, as an Asian woman, and as a Filipina.

Qualities That Can Help a Filipina Fall in Love With You

So what qualities do Philippine women look for in a potential foreign partner or husband? These most important values are:

  1. Approachability and open-mindedness
  2. Respectfulness
  3. Flexibility
  4. Faithfulness
  5. Being family-oriented
  6. Honorability
  7. Good communications skills
  8. Being true to yourself
  9. Consistency
  10. Likely, being Christian

Read on to find out more about the top characteristics in a potential partner that many of us Filipinas consider above anything else.

1. Be Welcoming and Approachable

Generally, Filipinos are the shy type, especially when they're with people from other countries. They might feel timid about talking or mingling with foreigners, whether they are an American, Australian, European, Japanese, or Korean. This is primarily because they are shy about their English-speaking skills.

Although almost all Filipinos know how to speak English, it is not their native language, so they might feel uncomfortable using it, especially if they are talking to someone who is a native English speaker. They are very self-conscious about their pronunciation and grammar, and they're afraid you will laugh at them. But, if you are very friendly to them—smiling and initiating conversations—you will be amazed at how humorous and personable Filipinos can be.

In addition, Filipinos have high regard for foreigners, especially Americans, Australians, and Europeans. They think that they have lots of money compared to Filipinos, many of whom are struggling to get out of poverty, so they might feel a bit intimidated. Because of this, Filipinos will do whatever they can to please a foreigner when they see them. Make sure to break the ice and be as welcoming as possible so that they will not feel intimidated.

In addition to the difference in financial situation, Filipinos might also feel intimidated by your difference in skin color. Filipinos, in general, have brown skin. When they see someone who has white or fair skin, they might get a little taken aback and start comparing themselves to you. This is because, in Filipino culture, fair-skinned people are considered very attractive. Some people even correlate fair skin with wealth, and they will automatically think you are rich if you have fair skin. So be nice and welcoming to them. Don't let them feel different from you. Talk and mingle with them as if you are one of them.

A hut or house in the middle of a field, surrounded with coconut trees.

A hut or house in the middle of a field, surrounded with coconut trees.

2. Be Respectful

If you go to Metro Manila, you will find that the people there always use the words "po" and "opo". For Filipinos, these are actually terms of respect. They can immediately tell if someone is respectful by whether or not they use these words. "Opo" and "po" are words of affirmation. So, for instance, if her parents call you, "John, come here. Let's eat!" You should say, "Opo, sige po. Salamat po", which means, politely, "Yeah, sure. Thank you."

Respect is a highly sensitive matter for Filipinos. You, as a foreigner, might even be considered disrespectful at times because of your frankness or facial expressions. Sir, ma'am, and madam are commonly used to politely and respectfully call someone, especially those of higher social ranking, people who have finished college, or people who have passed professional exams like Dr., Atty., Engr., and others.

If you have time, attend a political gathering—you will be amazed to hear Filipinos calling their leaders honorable, despite the fact that some of them are known for crass and corrupt practices, in addition to gambling.

From what I have observed, many uneducated Filipinos feel inferior or intimated when talking to someone who has a college degree or a title. It's as if you belong to a higher class of society.

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Gestures of Respect in the Phillippines

There are also a variety of gestures used to show respect, such as kissing the hands of the elderly, mano po, handshakes, and beso-beso (cheek-to-cheek greetings).

  • Mano po: Whenever you see someone older than you, you have to do mano po. Mano po is done by taking the right hand of the person and bringing it towards your forehead with the back portion touching your forehead.
  • Handshake: Like in many other parts of the world, this is used when meeting a new friend.
  • Beso-beso: This is mostly done by women as a greeting or as a gesture of goodbye.
A son taking the hand of his mom and putting it to his forehead to show respect. This is an example of the Filipino tradition of mano po.

A son taking the hand of his mom and putting it to his forehead to show respect. This is an example of the Filipino tradition of mano po.

3. Be Flexible

The Philippines is a developing country, so don't expect too many comforts and resources. If your lady lives in a small house, nipa hut, or in a squatter house, don't let her feel that you pity her or are sad about it. Most importantly, don't let her feel that you are disgusted. Just go with the flow. If it is your first time seeing poverty in real life, right before your eyes, then just imagine you are living or walking in a palace. You'll get used to it in no time.

Only a small percentage of families in the Philippines have their own cars. Most people take public transportation when going somewhere, and your lady might be one of them. Expect to ride a jeepney, a trisikad (tricycle), a habal-habal (motorcycle), and public buses, vans, and trains without seat belts.

Most Filipino families eat using their hands. They do not use utensils. For them, food tastes better when eaten with their hands. Whenever your woman does this, just go with the flow. Let her teach you how to do it properly. However, don't ever forget to wash your hands before eating something on your plate.

If your girl lives in a hilly area, be ready to walk in the mud barefoot to go to her place, especially during the rainy season. Just bring alcohol or anti-bacterial soap with you (or just wear regular barn boots).

4. Stay Faithful

Most Filipinas are some of the most faithful partners you can ever have. They are very loyal to their partners. You can even expect them to avoid talking to other men just so that they can avoid temptations. They expect their potential partner to do the same.

Take note: marriage is highly sacred to them. They usually aim to be with their husband forever. Marriage is, therefore, a lifetime commitment for Filipinas. Being faithful is very important.

Whenever they have disagreements or disputes with their husband, they work hard to solve them so that their union is preserved. Some will even come to the point of sacrificing their own happiness, freedom, and self-worth: You must make sure not to take advantage of or mistreat her.

5. Be Family-Oriented

Filipinos are very family-oriented. It is not uncommon to see an extended family—the grandfather, grandmother, parents, kids, cousins, and relatives—living in one home. They love their families very much.

For Filipinos, blood is thicker than water, and they are ready to do just about anything for the sake of their family. Expect Filipinas to check how much you love your own family or their family.

A dad with his daughter on the beach.

A dad with his daughter on the beach.

6. Be Honorable

Filipinas are keen observers, especially when it comes to men. When you start getting to know each other, they will search for signs that you both can get along very well.

Many women greatly welcome a man of honor. You must be someone they can be proud of—not just of your outside appearance, but also of your gentle heart.

The point here is that you must show respect and recognize that she deserves to be treated like a princess. If she says no, then don't force it. Instead, react in a respectful and dignified manner.

8. Be Democratic

There is democracy to found in communication. Both of you have the right to speak and be heard. You can talk about anything under the sun, but with respect. You need to listen when she speaks, and let her finish before you make a comment.

And, make sure to express your ideas in a way that will benefit both of you. Acknowledging the value of her ideas before you start yours can be very effective in winning her confidence.

Make her understand that you get her and value what she has to say about different matters. This way, you'll be able to bring her close to you, forming the start of your love story.

It is important for every relationship to have an element of give and take.

It is important for every relationship to have an element of give and take.

7. Be Yourself

Open up to her without any reservation. Most Filipinas are actually very sensitive to how open you are—they are able to identify whether you're being true to yourself or not. By how you speak and act, they'll be able to tell if you are hiding your true self or not. If you are, this becomes a red flag to them.

If she notices that you're not being honest, she will do the same. As a result, no healthy and enjoyable conversation will take place. This means that you'll go home without having found any chemistry.

So, let the conversation flow the way it should. Just relax and be confident and positive. Oftentimes, good humor creates a lasting impression.

9. Stay Consistent

If you are really serious about her, then do not go out with other women. Your eyes should only be for her. Be exclusive.

If she does something that is slightly discouraging, pay no mind to it. She may just have done it in order to test you—go on and continue to reveal your heart to her.

If she is dealing with a big problem, be ready to help her in any way you can. Make sure that you're always there for her. Become her knight in shining armor. You'll become unforgettable to her.

Christian faith.

Christian faith.

10. (Possibly) Be Christian

The Philippines is a majority Christian country. The most recent record revealed that around 85% of the population is Christian: either Roman Catholic (80%), Evangelical (1.8%), Iglesia ni Cristo (.7%), Aglipayan (1.1%), or other (2.2%).

Since most Filipinas grow up in a Christian family, many have been raised to find someone who shares the same faith. In fact, for most families, it is the number one requirement. Believe it or not, there are parents who will immediately dismiss a suitor if he is not Christian. It is rare to find a family who does not heavily consider this quality.

If you are Christian, you have a high chance of getting the approval of her family and of course, the heart of your chosen lady. Many Filipinos believe that the Christian faith guarantees a changed life, so they'll feel confident of you dating their daughter. Faith and religion are two aspects that are very personal and of utmost importance to Philippine women.

The Bottome Line

At the end of the day, you need to treat her as a human, as someone who deserves respect and real love. That is the key to winning the heart of a Filipina.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2014 Aeva Gono

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