How to Win the Heart of Philippine Women - A Concise Guide to Dating a Filipina
Who do you think is the most beautiful?
These days, communicating with someone you like is super easy. You have a lot of options. You can choose to send an email or text message, to call, or to chat. We even have what is called video chat or video call so you can see the person live while chatting or talking, which is very popular in online dating.
We also have social media networks where meeting new friends has been made easier and faster. The way of communication has indeed advanced in a way that no one has ever anticipated. It made the world flatter and flatter everyday with new innovations. It is just simply amazing.
However, most Filipina women desire more than this, more than communication. Although many are now using technologies to meet potential partners or lovers, they want a deeper relationship, a bond that will last forever. They are looking for someone who will genuinely value their worth as a woman, as an Asian woman, and as a Filipina.
So what are the qualities Philippine women look for a potential foreign partner or husband? I have listed as many of the top characters that many of us, Filipinas, are considering above anything else.
The Philippines is largely a Christian country. The most recent record reveals that around 85 percent of the population is Christian either Roman Catholic (80%), Evangelical (1.8%, Iglesia ni Cristo (.7%), Aglipayan (1.1%), or others (2.2%).
Since most Filipinas grew up in a Christian family, they have been raised to find someone who shares the same faith. In fact, it is the number one requirement for most families. Believe it or not, but there are parents who will immediately dismiss a suitor if he is not a Christian. I tell you, it is rare to find a family who does not highly consider this quality.
But of course, if you are a Christian, you have a high chance to get the approval of her family and of course, the heart of your chosen lady. Some are even willing to disregard your past as long as you are a Christian.
Most Filipinos believe that a Christian faith guarantees a changed life so they feel confident of you dating their daughter. Faith and religion are two aspects that are very personal and of utmost importance to Philippine women.
Are you a Christian?
Do you think your faith should be a requirement?
Generally, Filipinos are the shy type, especially when it comes to people coming from other nations. They are shy to talk or mingle with foreigners, whether you are an American, Australian, European, Japanese, Korean, or what. Primarily because of their English skill.
Although almost all Filipinos know how to speak English, it is not their native language so they feel uncomfortable using it, most especially if they are talking to someone who is a native English speaker. They are very concerned about their pronunciation and grammar. They're afraid you will laugh at them. But if you are very friendly to them by smiling and initiating a conversation, you will be amazed at how humorous they can be.
Another point is that Filipinos have a high regard to foreigners, especially American, Australian, and European. They think that they have lots of money or are very rich compared to them, who are struggling to get out from poverty. And so, there's a bit of intimidating atmosphere that can be expected. They feel inferior. That is why whenever they see a foreigner, they do whatever they can to please them or serve them. So break the ice. As much as possible, be very welcoming so they will not feel intimated.
It's also because of the difference in skin color. Filipinos in general have brown skin. So, whenever they see someone who have white or fair skin, they get struck. And then, they compare their brown skin. A fair skin person is actually highly attractive to them. Some even correlates fair skin with wealth. If you have fair skin, they automatically think you are rich or you come from a wealthy family. So be welcoming to them. Don't let them feel different from you. Let them feel at ease talking and mingling with you like you are one of them.
Your lady might be living in a mountainous province.
If you will go to Metro Manila, you will observe that the people there always use the words "po" at "opo". And, these are actually terms that show respect for Filipinos. They can immediately tell if someone is respectful or not through the usage of these words. Both of these are actually words of affirmation. So, for instance, if the parents will call you, "John, common here, let's eat." You will say, "Opo, cge po. Salamat po", which means, "Yes, okay sure.Thank you."
Respect is a topic that's also highly sensitive to Filipinos. In fact, you, as a foreigner, might even be considered disrespectful because of your frank and direct talk or expressions. Sir, ma'am, and madam are the most commonly used words to politely and respectfully call someone, especially to people of higher ranks or people who have finished college or have passed professional exams like Dr., Atty., Engr., and others.
If ever you have time, try to attend a political gathering and you will be amazed to hear Filipinos calling their leaders honorable, despite the fact that some of them are known for graft and corrupt practices as well as gambling.
And as far as I am concerned, I can really see that Filipinos feel inferior or intimated whenever they talk to someone or they are introduced to someone who has a college degree or a title. It's like you belong to the upper class of the society.
The kissing of hands of the elderly, mano po, handshake, and beso-beso (cheek to cheek greeting) are the commonly used respectful gestures in the Philippines. Whenever you see an elderly or someone who is older than you, you have to do mano po. Mano po is done by taking the right hand of a person and bringing it towards your forehead with the back portion touching your forehead. A handshake is done when you meet a new friend. The beso-beso gesture, on the other hand, are mostly done by the women. They do it as a greeting or as a goodbye gesture.
The Filipino tradition of mano po.
Are Filipinos using respect in the wrong way?
The Philippines is a third world country so don't expect too much from the people or from the community when it comes to resources. If your lady lives in a small house, nipa hut, or in a squatter's area, don't let her feel that you are sorry about it or that you feel sad about it. And, most importantly, don't let her feel that you are disgusted of the area, of the surrounding, or what. Just go with the flow. If it is your first time to see poverty live, right before your eyes, then just imagine you are living or walking in a palace so you won't feel bad.
Only a small percentage of the family in the Philippines have their own cars. Most people commute when going somewhere. And, your lady might be one of them. So expect that you will ride a jeepney, a trisikad or tricycle, a habal-habal or motorcycle, and public buses, vans, and trains without seat belts.
Most Filipino families eat using their hands. They do not use spoon and fork. For them, the food tastes better when eaten using their hands. So whenever your woman does this, just go with the flow. Let her teach you how to do it properly. But of course, don't ever forget to wash your hands before taking something on your plate.
And, if your girl lives in an uptown area, be ready to walk in the mud barefoot to go to their place, especially during the rainy season in the Philippines. So just bring alcohol or anti-bacterial soap with you or perhaps wear regular barn boots.
Want a ride? Habal-habal transpo in the Philippines.
The most popular mode of transport in the Philippines - jeepney.
Ride a tricycle or trisikad.
Do you think you can survive a ride in habal-habal, jeepney, and trisikad ?
Filipinas are the most faithful partner you can ever have. They are very loyal to their partner. You can't even expect them talking with other men just so they can avoid temptations. They are stick to one women. And so, they also like their potential partner to do the same.
And take note, marriage is highly sacred to them. As much as possible, they aim to be with their husband forever. Marriage is therefore a lifetime commitment for Filipinas. So being faithful is highly important.
Whenever they have disagreements or disputes with their husband, they work hard or use all means to solve them so their union will continue or will be preserved, even to the point of becoming a battered wife or sacrificing their own happiness, freedom and worth as a woman.
Oops! Don't look the other way please!
Do you think you can stay in a relationship forever?
Filipinos are highly family-oriented. It is not new to see an extended household. The grandfather, grandmother, parents, kids, cousins, and relatives may actually be found in one home. They love their families so much.
Blood is thicker than water for them. They are ready to do everything just for their family's welfare. And so, expect Filipinas to see if you love your own family or their family.
Do you love kids?
Do you think having a kid is a must for married couples?
They are keen observers, especially when it comes to men. At the moment you get to talk personally, they look through you. They search for signs where you both can get along very well.
And, many of the best women around greatly welcome a man of honor. By this, you must be someone they can be proud of. Not just through your outside appearance but also by your gentle heart.
The point here is you show respect. You recognize that she deserves to be treated like a princess. If she says no, then don't force her. Instead, react in a formal and dignified manner. Remember, she might say no now, but who knows what will happen later. As the saying goes, love moves in mysterious ways.
Are you gentleman enough?
Let her in without any reservations or so. Most Filipinas are actually very sensitive to this. They are able to identify whether you're untrue or not. They can read it on how you speak and react. They're able to detect if you are hiding your real self. And, this becomes a warning signal to them.
Because she observes you're not being real, she will do the same in the name of fairness. As a result, no healthy and enjoyable conversation can take place. And, because of this, the two of you will go home without finding any chemistry or connection.
So, let the conversation flow the way it should be. Just relax, be confident, and be happy. Oftentimes, a good humor creates a long lasting impression.
It's all about humor.
Yes, there is democracy in communication. Both of you have the right to speak and be heard. You can talk anything under the sun with humor but with respect. You need to listen when she speaks, and let her finish before you give a comment.
And, make sure that you express your ideas in such a way that it will benefit both of you. Acknowledging the value of her idea before you start yours can be very effective to win her confidence.
Make her realize that you are one of the people who understand her, one who is able to value what she has to say about different matters. This way, you'll be able to draw her close to you, the start of your love story.
Give and take is important in a relationship.
If you are really serious about her, then do not go out with other women. Your eyes should only be for her. Make the communication exclusive.
And, if she does something discouraging, do not mind it. She may just set it up in order to test you, so go on and continue to reveal your heart for her.
If she is experiencing a great problem, be ready to help in any way you can. Be there for her always. Become her knight in shining armor. And, she will never forget you, giving you a place in her heart.
Your love must be timeless.
Overall, the bottom line here is - you need to treat her as a human; one who deserves respect and real love. This is the key to win the heart of a Filipina.