Yes Men Are From Mars, but What Do They Want?

Updated on December 19, 2016

Women Want to Know

I've recently been reading a book manuscript that points to the differences between men and women. Not only has the manuscript been insightful, but it also offers great advice for women who are seeking or wanting a serious committed relationship.

Women seem to rack their brains when it comes to understanding men. For instance women want to know how to attract men, what men are thinking, how to act around men, how to get men to fall in love, etc.,etc.,etc. It's almost exhausting.

What is so humorous, in women trying so hard to figure out men, is that men are simple creatures. And for whatever reason, it seems that women have gotten so side-tracked in trying to figure out men, they have forgotten to just be themselves. Ironically, what many men want in a woman, is what many women already inherently possess.

About Men

For anyone interested in better understanding men, you'll want to check out the book written by Martin Daniels, entitled What I Learned About Women While My Wife Was In Jail.

The book's title might make it sound like just a personal story, however, Daniels candidly writes about both men and women. And in reality, the book uniquely offers great insight into what men are seeing, thinking, and feeling.

Some examples:

Men Are Visual Creatures

Whether women like it or not, men are extremely visual. Men are initially attracted to a women based on what they see. However, this does not necessarily mean that a woman should dress or look provocative. What is interesting is, men will see certain things in women that they find to be incredibly sexy, but a lot of times it's not at all what women think it is. For instance, most men like women who wear less make-up than more.

Personality Matters

A big turn off for men, is women who seem resentful. Men want women who are easy going, kind, and thoughtful. The last thing on earth a man wants, is to be with a harsh, bitter woman. Men are able to pick up on things about a woman's personality through her conversations and mannerisms. So it's not just totally about her physical appearance.

Men Want The Chase

Men don't like women who are too aggressive. Mind you, this does not mean that she can't be aggressive in seeking a career for instance. It just means that when it comes to being with a woman, the man wants to lead. A man will not feel like he is a man, if the woman is doing the pursuing.

Men Don't Want A Cling-On

Nothing is more sexy to a man than a woman who is happy with herself and her own life. A man doesn't want a woman who is clinging to his every thought, word, and action. Even if he loves a woman he will still need space, and have other interests outside of just being in a relationship.

Men Don't Necessarily Want Sex Right Away

If a man really likes a woman, he won't necessarily want to have sex with her right away. He will want to take the time to get to know her. As a matter of fact, quite often if a woman has sex with a man too soon he will pull away from her. Many times he will not only lose interest, but will feel more of a need to protect himself from her.

Men Want Peace

A man doesn't want to contend with a woman. He wants support from her. He doesn't want someone who is in his face, nagging him all the time or questioning him. From his perspective, he is out in the world contending with a million other things, so the last thing he wants is to contend with his woman.


The Take Away

So just what is the take away from reading What I learned About Women When My Wife Was In Jail ?

Its simple. The message after reading the book is this; men and women basically want the same things. At the end of the day, both sexes want to love and to be loved.

So yeah, men are from Mars and women from Venus, but the fact is we both exist here on earth. And for the most part want the same things from each other.

The book will be available on Amazon by the end of the year and will also be available to purchase in e-book form.

Questions & Answers


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      • Lauren Sabetta profile imageAUTHOR

        Lauren Sabetta 

        3 years ago

        Thanks for the comment Mel!

      • Mel Carriere profile image

        Mel Carriere 

        3 years ago from San Diego California

        Some philosopher said the path to a man's heart is through his stomach.

        Looks aren't everything for a man getting up in age, we fifty somethings. Looks are slightly important, but we enjoy a smart, witty and wise woman too, someone who laughs at our bad jokes. At least I am not looking for some vapid youngster who looks hot in a bikini but has nothing to say.

        Great hub.

      • Lauren Sabetta profile imageAUTHOR

        Lauren Sabetta 

        3 years ago

        Hi ladyguitarpicke! Glad you agree!

      • ladyguitarpicker profile image

        stella vadakin 

        3 years ago from 3460NW 50 St Bell, Fl32619

        Hi Lauren, Good to meet you. I can agree with most of what I have read. Men are very simple. Look forward to reading more.

      • Lauren Sabetta profile imageAUTHOR

        Lauren Sabetta 

        3 years ago

        Hi there! Thank you for your feeback! I am from Los Angeles and am a journalist currently living in Atlanta. I am editing the book described in the article for a very dear friend of mine so I highly appreciate your comment. Thank you!

      • word55 profile image

        Al Wordlaw 

        3 years ago from Chicago

        Hi Lauren, God has blessed you with wisdom, knowledge and understanding. You have a great idea of what men want in women. You hit the nails on the heads. My hat's off to you. Yes, the more natural and spiritual that a woman is, the better. thank you so much for sharing. By the way, can you explain more about yourself in your profile? Where do you hail from?

      • dashingscorpio profile image


        3 years ago

        I just might have to do that!

        Feel free to check out mine as well.

        My Cat Won't Bark! (A Relationship Epiphany)

      • Lauren Sabetta profile imageAUTHOR

        Lauren Sabetta 

        3 years ago

        A lot of what you said is very similar to what the book talks about. It also discusses women and gives insight into what they want deep down. It's a great book and is very entertaining to read. Look for it when it comes out ! I think you will enjoy the read!

      • dashingscorpio profile image


        3 years ago

        "Whether women like it or not, men are extremely visual. Men are initially attracted to a women based on what they see." - Very true!

        Unfortunately many women want to tell men what they should be looking for in a woman. That's like a hunter telling the prey what bait they should be attracted to! It simply doesn't work that way.

        Another thing women need to understand is a man's wants/needs changes with age. Very few women in their late teens through their 20s are going to find a guy in that age range who wants to get married or settle down!

        The very thought of marriage, signing a 30 year mortgage, having children is like watching their lives flash before their eyes!

        The average 20 something year old guy either just moved out of his parent's basement or left a dorm room. He wants to enjoy a taste of freedom, party with friends, watch sports, and get laid while establishing a career. Timing is a major thing when it comes to settling down.

        Most men don't truly start thinking about marriage until they're 30+.

        Therefore a woman in her 20s looking to get married might be better off dating single guys who are in their early 30s. Otherwise just date for fun and wait until guys her age reach the settling down phase of their life.

        "Men want the chase" - This is an old outdated myth!

        Men fear and hate rejection too!

        No one wants to play the role of stalker or possibly be viewed as one not in this day and age. If a guy can't detect (mutual interest) he'll move on. If he doesn't move on he could be accused of sexual harassment.

        "Men don't want sex right away"

        My guess is not many men will "turn down sex" with a hot looking woman! Generally speaking men pursue women whom they find sexually attractive. I've had long-term relationships with women I had sex with the first night. In fact the only "one-night-stands" I have ever had were with women when the sexual chemistry wasn't great or one of us was only in town for vacation and possibly dating someone else.

        Even with that if the sex was "mind blowing" no guy is going to throw away that phone number. He'll find a way to come back for "seconds".

        Here's something many women don't realize:

        Men want to feel desired too! (This is especially true after committing.)

        One of the main reasons so many guys watch Internet pornography and go to strip clubs is to enjoy the "fantasy" of being around women who act like they Love Having Sex , crave men, and can't get enough!

        Odds are their wives or girlfriends don't make them feel desired much. Only the rich/ famous male celebrities and sports figure get that kind of treatment from women who cross their paths. Some women NEVER (initiate sex) with their boyfriends or husbands.

        "Men want peace" - This one is absolutely true!

        There are enough "challenges" on the other side of his front door! When he comes home he wants "harmony". Even biblical scripture states this.

        Proverbs 21:19

        "Better to dwell in the wilderness, Than with a contentious and angry woman."

        Basically men are fairly simple. We want a woman who is attractive and finds (us) attractive, has a great sense of humor, intelligent but personable with an easy going personality and (natural compatibility).

        Like attracts like and opposites attract divorce attorneys!

        Having said that what we look for at age 21 is usually different from what we want at age 31. You could have been the "perfect woman" but if he's in his early 20s he most likely has NO desire to settle down.


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