Why Older Women Like Younger Men: Reasons Why Women Become Cougars

Updated on December 28, 2016

Why do women like younger men? Why would an older woman want to date a younger guy? Why do women become cougars and what makes a woman fancy a toy boy who is younger to her by a decade?

Answering these questions is not necessarily as direct as answering - 'why do older men like younger women?' This post looks at some of the deeper reasons why a woman in her thirties or forties may seek a relationship with a man in his twenties.

Still wondering why women like younger men?
Still wondering why women like younger men? | Source

1) Men of their age may not be as attractive and handsome

Age is not kind to anyone. Wrinkles and beer bellies are just some of the obvious signs of ageing which add years to a man's look. A woman may date a younger man if she feels that men of her age are not as attractive or handsome any more.

This applies especially to women who have not allowed the years take toll on their bodies by being motivated to work out and stay fit. They may feel that they are compromising by going out with a man who is their age, but looks at least a decade older. She would rather date a man who is a decade younger but looks almost her age.

2) Being in charge: Advantage of increased relationship experience over her toy boy lover

An older woman will have more relationship experience than her young lover. This makes the woman feel more capable of handling the ups and downs of a relationship. She will derive pleasure in knowing that she is in charge of the relationship.

A young guy may also not mind the woman taking charge in the relationship as long as her behavior does not come across as annoying or nagging. This is a win-win situation for the younger man and the older woman.

3) Advantage of taking the lead in the bedroom

A woman in her 30's or 40's could be married but living separately, divorced, or never married but been in and out of many relationships. In either of these situations, the woman is likely to have had much more experience in the bedroom than her toy boy lover.

Dating gets very difficult for women as they age. A woman may be able to confidently enter a relationship with a younger guy knowing that she has had more experience in the bedroom than him. There are no insecurities and the fear of not living up to expectations is transferred from the older woman to the younger guy.

4) Men of their age are generally married or in a relationship

Lack of choice is a real hindrance for a woman in her late thirties and forties. Many older women date younger guys simply because most men of their age are either married, in a relationship or not bothered at all.

An older woman may naturally start dating a guy who is younger than her because of this reason. Yet, she will be called a cougar because the term itself points to women who date men younger than them by many years.

The rut of life can frustrated any individual after some years. Dating a younger man could be a way of letting off some steam.
The rut of life can frustrated any individual after some years. Dating a younger man could be a way of letting off some steam.

5) To get the feeling of being young and youthful again

When a woman dates a younger guy, she is exposed to a life that she would have virtually forgotten about. The playful romance, romantic outings and youthful love can make her feel like she is reliving her twenties.

The presence of a younger man will also keep a woman updated with the latest trends, helping her become trendier. She will get to keep up with the latest in music, movies, fashion and media – something which she never had a chance while being burdened by the responsibilities of marriage, children and work.

6) Experiencing the thrill of dating a younger guy

Everyone likes to let off some steam after working hard or being stuck in a short rut. There are many ways of doing this and one of them is to do something that others don't approve of. This concept is similar to the mentality of a child or a toddler, who will always go for the candy that he or she is not allowed to eat.

The elusive nature of having a relationship with a younger man can attract an older woman who is looking for something that will thrill her and completely change her life.

7) The feeling of dictating matters of finance in the relationship

Cougars are typically shown in popular culture as women who have more money than their younger male partners. This is because the woman presumably has worked for many years and is in a very healthy financial situation.

She can buy her younger lover gifts, take him out on dates and even take him shopping. This thrill of taking the lead in money matters may be quite an exciting and nurturing feeling for the older woman.

8) Younger guys are less serious and more fun

Single men in their thirties and forties can be burdened by many responsibilities. Mortgage payments, alimony payments, pressure at work, credit card debts and children from previous relationship are just some of the things that take the fun out of an older single man's approach to life.

In comparison, men in their twenties have fewer things to worry about. This makes them more fun-loving and spontaneous. Younger men will be willing to go out for that midnight pizza without worrying about an early morning the next day or they will happily party on a weekday without fussing about a hangover on the next.

A younger man will also be relatively less occupied, making him readily available for impromptu dates. All these things make a relationship with a younger man a lot less serious and a lot more fun.

A relationship with a younger guy may be seen as a way of bringing the spark back in the bedroom.
A relationship with a younger guy may be seen as a way of bringing the spark back in the bedroom.

9) Bringing the excitement back in the bedroom

Dating a younger guy can spice things up in the bedroom. A woman who has just stepped out of a loveless marriage may feel the need to get the groove back in the bedroom.

While this is generally not the sole reason why older women like younger guys, rediscovering what it feels to be loved and cherished by a man can make a woman prolong her relationship with her toy boy.

10) To feed the ego and self-esteem: Proving that she still looks attractive

An older woman may look forward to dating a younger man to passively feed her ego and self-esteem. Knowing that she can easily attract a guy many years younger to her will make her feel more beautiful.

A woman in her late thirties or forties will obviously feel smitten when a man who is a decade younger compliments her for her looks. It will make her forget the age difference because she will fell like the prettiest woman in the world when a younger man finds her attractive.

Questions & Answers

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      • profile image

        Vicki 

        5 weeks ago

        I have always kept myself fit by going to the gym at least 4 nights a week , something my ex husband never did. After my divorce I started dating much younger and met several very handsome guys, some quite young. I have been dating different guys, all younger and life for me is very exciting! At 56 years old , I have an exciting sex life which helps me to keep fit and stay stylish.

      • profile image

        Stormy 

        6 weeks ago

        I have been with my bf for one year now and he found me on a dating app. I am 50 and young for my age and he is 25 and old for his age, young soul and old soul go perfectly together. I had previously dated a mixture of ages and found the younger guys to be more playful and fun and appreciating me more than older men and men my age or near my age. Age really is just a number. My ex is a angry short Iranian man who I gave my love and four children and many wasted yrs to all for nothing, as he never appreciated me and was to controlling. My younger partner is not controlling. I have the main say in my life now and how the bills are paid and how the shopping is done where as before I never had a say in anything. He was never bothered by the fact that I don't yet have a job and am a late starter in life as dedicated yrs to my kids and grankid. He will have a job soon from the course he is doing now and will be able to support and help me with my teenage son who lives with us. I have many obstacles to face but he is their with me to face them and we have each others backs and love each other and I have cried at night when he is asleep when I think I will leave him one day and die but life is to short to dwell on negative things. One day at a time.

      • profile image

        Telaney 

        2 months ago

        Iam 37, yesterday I saw a woman that looked about 60 in yoga pants. She looked amazing in those, I think that's so sexy when an older woman has a nice body.

      • profile image

        Karen 

        3 months ago

        I am 49 and divorced for 21 years. I have always fitted better with younger men, therefore nearly all the guys that I go out with are younger. 10-12 years is ideal for me, most people guess that we are near the same age. I have noticed that men my age are much too controlling, not to speak of their problems with being in poor physical shape. I stay fit and trim with at least 4 times a week at the gym, something few men older than me does. I much prefer a fit young guy who has the energy to match mine!!

      • profile image

        Joseph 

        4 months ago

        Being married to a younger woman - 14 yrs difference- does present some obstacles to learn to overcome. My wife is found attractive by other males - regardless of their marital status - We have never kept any "secrets" from each other and I have

        learned to "live with it" No harm has occurred to our marriage.

      • profile image

        Starla 

        4 months ago

        I am excited that women dating younger guys is becoming a commonplace. I am 46 but everyone guesses me at early 30's. I prefer to date guys 15 to 20 years younger, seems like a natural for me. The younger men are so eager to please and lovemaking lasts much longer, no wham bam, thank you mam ! Not interested in marriage, I would not want to limit myself to just one!!

      • profile image

        Stormy 

        7 months ago

        I'm in a serious relationship with a guy who is 25 I,m going to 50 in July this year . He is the kindest most generous lover and nicest man I have ever known . He Doesn't want kids . He has bonded really well with my youngest child my son who is 15 and my three older girls . He has mental illness like me and we help each other through the rough times and support each other . He does not have a lot to offer in material things but makes up.for That in the bedroom to the point I wear him out. I don't have much to offer myself but myself even though we are poor we have our love for each other . He found me on a dating app after going through so many to find me. I have never looked back . I just now have to try to leave my past behind me and look forward to the future .one day at a time .

      • profile image

        Regina 

        7 months ago

        My chronogical-age is over 50 and my spiritual-age is mid 30s. So, when I meet an attractive younger men, I feel very relaxed around them. I look forward to meeting my twin flame! I’m divorced, no kids and fun-loving!

      • profile image

        Tyler 

        8 months ago

        I'm 24 and going on a date with a 35 year old. She seems really excited and looks beautiful. Can't wait

      • bernard.sinai profile image

        Bernard Sinai 

        5 years ago from Papua New Guinea

        Does stamina count?

      • DDE profile image

        Devika Primić 

        5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

        Good reasons for why women become cougars, well in detail and informative tips

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