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Why Do Older Women Like Younger Guys?
Why do women like younger men? Why would an older woman want to date a younger guy? Why do women become cougars, and what makes a woman fancy a boy toy who is younger than her by a decade? This article examines some of the deeper reasons why a woman in her 30s or 40s may seek a relationship with a man in his 20s.
10 Reasons Why Older Women Like Younger Men
- Men her age may not be as attractive.
- She has more relationship experience.
- She is able to take the lead in the bedroom.
- Many men her age are married or in a relationship.
- She wants to feel young again.
- She enjoys experiencing the thrill of dating a younger guy.
- She likes taking charge of financial matters in the relationship.
- Younger guys are more fun.
- The younger guy brings excitement back to the bedroom.
- She's feeding her ego and proving that she's still attractive.
Older women know who they are, and that makes them more beautiful than younger ones."
— Naveen Andrews
1. Men Her Age May Not Be as Attractive
Time is not kind to anyone. Wrinkles and beer bellies are just some of the obvious signs of aging that can add years to a man's look. A woman may date a younger man if she feels that men of her age are not as attractive or handsome anymore.
One might think this is usually only the case when an older man seeks out a younger woman, but this concept works both ways. Older women can be attracted to younger men because they are in their peak physical condition and may have a full head of hair, strong muscles, and more sexual stamina.
This applies especially to women who have not let the years take a toll on their bodies and remained motivated to work out and stay fit. They may feel that they are compromising by dating with a man who is their own age but looks at least a decade older. She would rather date a man who is a decade younger but looks almost her age, or even one who looks noticeably younger, depending on her reasons for selecting a younger lover or boyfriend.
2. She Has More Relationship Experience
An older woman will have more relationship experience than her young lover. This makes the woman feel more capable of handling the ups and downs of a relationship. This atypical power imbalance can be an alluring factor in these types of pairings.
A young guy without a lot of experience may also not mind the woman taking chargein the relationship as long as her behavior does not come across as annoying or nagging. This can be a win-win situation for the younger man and the older woman.
Her additional experience also includes bedroom experience, which can be an exciting draw for the younger man. He can learn a lot from her, sexually and in the relationship department, and she can benefit greatly from his stamina and willingness to learn.
3. She Is Able to Take the Lead in the Bedroom
A woman in her 30s or 40s could be married but living separately, divorced, or never married but been in and out of many relationships. In either of these situations, the woman is likely to have had much more experience in the bedroom than her boy toy lover.
Because of this experience, she already knows what she wants and can, therefore, be considered a wise and valuable teacher. Due to his inexperience, she can mold him into exactly the kind of lover she wants him to be, instead of having to conform to his previously established ideals of bedroom activities.
Dating gets increasingly difficult for women as they age. A woman may be able to confidently enter a relationship with a younger guy knowing that she has had more experience in the bedroom than him. There are no insecurities and the fear of not living up to expectations is transferred from the older woman to the younger guy. If the woman is wise, she is able to take those insecurities and transform them into learning experiences for both her and her younger lover.
4. Many Men Her Age Are Married or in a Relationship
Lack of choice can be a real hindrance for a woman in her late thirties and forties. Many older women date younger guys simply because most men of their age are either married, in a relationship, or not interested in dating.
People often enter romantic or sexual relationships out of convenience—they date their coworkers, classmates, or people they meet carrying out functions of their daily life. So when an older woman is looking for a new mate in this limited pool of men her age, she might not find any viable options and go looking for a younger guy instead.
An older woman may naturally start dating a guy who is younger than her for this reason; yet, she will be called a cougar because the term itself points to women who date men younger than them by many years.
5. She Wants to Feel Young Again
When a woman dates a younger guy, she is exposed to a life that she would have virtually forgotten about. The playful romance, romantic outings, and youthful love can make her feel like she is reliving her 20s.
The presence of a younger man will also keep a woman in touch with the latest trends and help her become swankier. He’ll help her keep up with the latest in music, movies, fashion, and media—something she may not have had a chance to focus on while juggling the responsibilities of marriage, children, and work.
To some women, this may seem like an exhausting aspect of a relationship with a younger man. But the reality is that our society celebrates youth and demonizes people—especially women—for aging. This is a two-sided coin though—while some women may be eager to learn about which hashtags are trending on Instagram and when the new Snapchat update is rolling out, others may find this unnecessarily draining on their already busy lives.
6. She Enjoys the Thrill of Dating a Younger Guy
Everyone likes to let off some steam after working hard or being stuck in a rut. There are many ways of doing this, and one of them is to do something taboo, like getting involved with a younger man. Society still expects women to “settle down” into their domestic roles by a certain age. What better way is there to “stick it to the man” than refusing to conform with society’s sexist and ageist stereotypes than to do the unexpected and get involved with a younger man?
The elusive nature of having a relationship with a younger man can attract an older woman who is looking for something that will thrill her and completely change her life. You often see older men dating or sleeping with younger women as a result of their “mid-life crisis,” so why should women be denied that luxury?
7. She Likes Taking Charge of Financial Matters in the Relationship
Cougars are typically depicted in popular culture as being more financially stable and independent than their younger male partners. This is because the woman presumably has worked for many years and is in a healthier financial situation.
This again goes back to the notion of taking the lead—she has more experience and power sexually, socially, and financially. A young lover or boyfriend can be a status symbol to an older woman, and being able to control financial matters further bolsters her self-esteem and empowers her.
She can buy her younger lover gifts, take him out on dates, and even take him shopping. This thrill of taking the lead in money matters may be quite an exciting and nurturing feeling for an older woman.
8. Younger Guys Are More Fun
Single men in their 30s and 40s can be burdened by many responsibilities. Mortgage payments, alimony payments, pressure at work, credit card debt, and children from previous relationships are just some of the things that can take the fun and freedom out of an older single man's life.
In comparison, men in their 20s have fewer things to worry about, which can make them more fun-loving and spontaneous. Younger men are more willing to go out for that midnight pizza without worrying about waking up early the next day (or getting heartburn), or they will eagerly party on a weekday without fussing about a hangover the next morning.
A younger man will also be relatively less occupied on a day-to-day basis, making him readily available for impromptu dates. All these factors make a relationship with a younger man a much less serious endeavor and a whole lot more fun, and sometimes, that’s exactly what an older woman is looking for.
9. The Younger Guy Brings Excitement Back to the Bedroom
Dating a younger guy can spice things up in bed. A woman who has just stepped out of a loveless marriage may feel the need to get her groove back in the bedroom.
It should be said that while it's true that sleeping with a significantly younger partner is a different experience, it's not necessarily always better. Younger men often have more stamina and may be more willing to experiment sexually than older men, who in turn have more sexual experience to offer.
While this is generally not the sole reason why older women like younger guys, rediscovering how it feels to be loved and cherished by a man can make a woman prolong her relationship with her boy toy.
10. She's Feeding Her Ego and Proving That She's Still Attractive
An older woman may look forward to dating a younger man because it passively feeds her ego and self-esteem. Knowing that she can easily attract a guy many years younger than her will make her feel more beautiful.
A woman in her late 30s or 40s will obviously feel flattered when a man who is a decade younger compliments her appearance. It’ll make her forget the age difference because she will feel like the prettiest woman in the world when a younger man in his sexual prime finds her attractive.
Rakgoes2nd on September 05, 2020:
what ever turns power into respect is fine as long as it's mutual.
Preston on July 18, 2020:
It's all about control. Young guys aren't hip to the game yet. Older, wiser and experienced men can see through her b/s. They've been there done that!
mark saniez on July 17, 2020:
Having lived in germayt a lot of years and in my twenties,and never having a real relationship with a woman,I was just back at my parents place InFrance and as it was hot I was wearing a lederhosen with suspenders on my bare skin!Then all of the sudden the lady from next door came over to see my mother and with her was her daughter about 20 years old too!.straight away she started looking at me and said how I looked good in my lederhosen with the leather suspenders on my skin !and mum talked with the neighbour,and nobody noticed that she was sitting next to me and starting to caresse my lederhosen suspenders and saying how wonderful it was ,then I got up and she followed me outside and she was asking me questions about how I got it I explained that in all of Germany,Austria ans Switzerland lots of shops sold them !and that they sold a lot for women too! she answerd Oh It's very good and how do you feel in it I said great !and she was allready with her hands running over my Lederhosen and my penis!I did'nt react and let her go on and as there was no flie on the pants she passed her hands on my underware and penis again ,telling me how good I looked and really I felt fine !then it is her who pushed me into the barn and said go on fuck me ,and at that point I just could'nt resist !.and did'nt even bother to get my pants and suspenders off,We were so both excited she shouted go on go on! bust me,and we both had an orgasm !Well I certainly did'nt expect to have such a day like that!Then she mopped up everthing she could with her handkerchief and I said thank you for her gest ! and that anytime she would feel like it she could come around ,and she said she would because I was not like the other boys and that's why she noticed me straight away!And this thing started very quickly to my surprise and It continued well after ,A matter of fact I went back afterwards to Germany to see my freins ans she came with ma this time ,and she even wanted a lederhosen with suspenders and I bought her a nice women's shinny red one with the matching suspenders ,,I showed her a lot of sight seeing places and she loved it !hen we came back inFrance and soon after we both found a job and ever since we're living happily together,when you come ti think of it " LIFE IS SOMETIMES STRANGE !
anonymous on May 25, 2020:
believe me nothing is like dating an old woman. m 20 she is 39 anonymous
George47 on December 27, 2019:
Interested I'm 47 frim AfricanLove to someone @50/60
mel telles on December 02, 2019:
my curiosity I am a very curious old man I am 77 I was born in 1942
Kingsley042 on October 01, 2019:
I lover older that's am here looking for one
Binu Nikhil on September 23, 2019:
I'm Binu age 30, and I would like to relationship with older women
Suzie from Carson City on August 31, 2019:
Princess....Dating, at this point in my life, is simply not of primary concern.........AT ALL. However, let me just say that if it were.......I would have no choice but to date "younger" men. The vast majority of men MY age or slightly older, are either already dead or close to it!! Don't laugh. Wait till you get here!!
Duane MacDonald on August 30, 2019:
I'm attractive to an older woman. She's 64 but looks like 44. Im
Mel on July 08, 2019:
Nothing like it! Older women are HOT!!!!
me on June 30, 2019:
im 19 and i like older women in their late 20s, mid 30s, and some what late 30s it depends
J on June 30, 2019:
mahtab on June 18, 2019:
age 24 i love older woman .......
Joe on April 25, 2019:
Here's a question, say you are younger man who isn't just looking for a roll in the hay with an attractive older woman, but instead want a genuine long-lasting relationship, how do you know when shw genuinely likes you, as opposed to just using you for sex, or if it's just to feed her ego, or whatever?
I mean think about it, because there is such a broad age gap, say by twenty years, what are you really gonna have in common?
You didn't grow up in the same era, so the style of clothes, to the music, to even simply the way people communicated to each other; from the expression they used to how simply acted ad thought, is gonna be vastly different from what you and your generation has grown up with, and therefore you can never truly relate to each other, even if your parents were from that era and raised you on that stuff to an extent.
And because you are younger and inexperienced, and can't relate to her on those levels, what the hell makes you think she wont just ditch you for an older guy she can relate to on the previous mentioned levels above?
So the point is, how do you win an older woman? How do you display qualities dhe can fall in love with, despite the age difference?
Elizabeth on April 12, 2019:
I am a 52 year old woman, divorced for 4 years and try hard to stay fit and slim. Younger men have flirted for years but I never took them serious, but since my divorce I have considered it all the more reason to keep myself in shape. Now, I am a changed woman and date all much younger! NEVER will get married again and totally enjoy men as young as in their late twenties !! Love it !!
Abdul Razzak on March 22, 2019:
Hello I am 28 can i get anyone from here?
Daria on February 28, 2019:
After being widowed at age 42, I became fast friends with a young man at work. Him being 22, I thought, what will people think? The only "Dates" we had, was for him to come to my house. We usually had sex, which was fantastic. After a time I realized that it could never work, just too much age gap. I now have a great fella a little closer to my age, he is 35 which is 10 years younger and very handsome ! He keeps me young !!
Edward on February 25, 2019:
Usually it's #5; ditto with men. When a mid-life crisis hits home, the best way of evading the truth (age and eventual death) is the escapism that comes with dating someone youthful.
Yentii on January 07, 2019:
I absolutely love older woman and I wish I had enough courage to hit on the in person!
Jagjeet mattu on December 22, 2018:
I love older women
Vicki on October 08, 2018:
I have always kept myself fit by going to the gym at least 4 nights a week , something my ex husband never did. After my divorce I started dating much younger and met several very handsome guys, some quite young. I have been dating different guys, all younger and life for me is very exciting! At 56 years old , I have an exciting sex life which helps me to keep fit and stay stylish.
Stormy on September 27, 2018:
I have been with my bf for one year now and he found me on a dating app. I am 50 and young for my age and he is 25 and old for his age, young soul and old soul go perfectly together. I had previously dated a mixture of ages and found the younger guys to be more playful and fun and appreciating me more than older men and men my age or near my age. Age really is just a number. My ex is a angry short Iranian man who I gave my love and four children and many wasted yrs to all for nothing, as he never appreciated me and was to controlling. My younger partner is not controlling. I have the main say in my life now and how the bills are paid and how the shopping is done where as before I never had a say in anything. He was never bothered by the fact that I don't yet have a job and am a late starter in life as dedicated yrs to my kids and grankid. He will have a job soon from the course he is doing now and will be able to support and help me with my teenage son who lives with us. I have many obstacles to face but he is their with me to face them and we have each others backs and love each other and I have cried at night when he is asleep when I think I will leave him one day and die but life is to short to dwell on negative things. One day at a time.
Telaney on August 22, 2018:
Iam 37, yesterday I saw a woman that looked about 60 in yoga pants. She looked amazing in those, I think that's so sexy when an older woman has a nice body.
Karen on August 01, 2018:
I am 49 and divorced for 21 years. I have always fitted better with younger men, therefore nearly all the guys that I go out with are younger. 10-12 years is ideal for me, most people guess that we are near the same age. I have noticed that men my age are much too controlling, not to speak of their problems with being in poor physical shape. I stay fit and trim with at least 4 times a week at the gym, something few men older than me does. I much prefer a fit young guy who has the energy to match mine!!
Joseph on July 11, 2018:
Being married to a younger woman - 14 yrs difference- does present some obstacles to learn to overcome. My wife is found attractive by other males - regardless of their marital status - We have never kept any "secrets" from each other and I have
learned to "live with it" No harm has occurred to our marriage.
Starla on July 02, 2018:
I am excited that women dating younger guys is becoming a commonplace. I am 46 but everyone guesses me at early 30's. I prefer to date guys 15 to 20 years younger, seems like a natural for me. The younger men are so eager to please and lovemaking lasts much longer, no wham bam, thank you mam ! Not interested in marriage, I would not want to limit myself to just one!!
Stormy on April 15, 2018:
I'm in a serious relationship with a guy who is 25 I,m going to 50 in July this year . He is the kindest most generous lover and nicest man I have ever known . He Doesn't want kids . He has bonded really well with my youngest child my son who is 15 and my three older girls . He has mental illness like me and we help each other through the rough times and support each other . He does not have a lot to offer in material things but makes up.for That in the bedroom to the point I wear him out. I don't have much to offer myself but myself even though we are poor we have our love for each other . He found me on a dating app after going through so many to find me. I have never looked back . I just now have to try to leave my past behind me and look forward to the future .one day at a time .
Regina on March 25, 2018:
My chronogical-age is over 50 and my spiritual-age is mid 30s. So, when I meet an attractive younger men, I feel very relaxed around them. I look forward to meeting my twin flame! I’m divorced, no kids and fun-loving!
Tyler on March 18, 2018:
I'm 24 and going on a date with a 35 year old. She seems really excited and looks beautiful. Can't wait
Bernard Sinai from Papua New Guinea on May 22, 2013:
Does stamina count?
Devika Primić from Dubrovnik, Croatia on May 22, 2013:
Good reasons for why women become cougars, well in detail and informative tips