9 Reasons Why Women Date Older Men

Updated on August 14, 2018
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Jenny is a girl who loves many things. She loves street foods, traveling, nature, music, cats, and dogs! She's crazy about purple & writing!

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Now, I have to spill a secret. I’ve always liked older men (not in a creepy way though). I always had crushes on my professors back in my college days. And, when I say "older," I mean guys who are 10-15 years older than I am and not the "old" type who are literally old and saggy.

I am always drawn to them; maybe it is their maturity or the way they express their opinions on difficult topics, or it is the way they carry themselves, or maybe it is because they are already self-sufficient.

Some people tell me that I may just be looking for a father-figure, but I am not. There are a lot of good reasons why some women like me prefer older men and I am going to enumerate some of them here.

Reasons Why Women Date Older Men

  1. They are more experienced and cultured.
  2. They are more financially stable.
  3. They are better at pleasing women.
  4. They are looking for more serious relationships.
  5. They have a more sophisticated taste.
  6. They are great cooks.
  7. They live a healthier lifestyle.
  8. They do not go out and party as often as younger men.
  9. Psychological and biological reasons

May—December Romance

There are many women out there who seek out and build relationships with older men, so much so that there is a term for it in the western world, the May—December romance. While many people may look down at couples that have a significant age gap between them, there are some very legitimate reasons why women seek out older men to have romantic relationships with.

Why Is It Called a May—December Romance?

The use of the term May—December romance to describe a younger woman dating an older man comes from European culture. The phrase makes use of metaphors of the seasons, with May representing springtime when a woman is her youthful best and December representing the start of winter when the man is past his prime.

1. More Experienced and Cultured

Men are like wine: they get better with age. Their experiences in life, at work and in previous relationships have taught them a lot of life lessons to make their situation better than before. They are more mature now to understand that things don’t always happen the way they want them to and so they are more understanding and patient with their partners.

They know what they want and they go for it. They are very confident and so they carry themselves very well, especially in public. They are generally well-mannered. They have been to several places in the past and so they know a lot of things about other cultures.

Source

2. Older Men Are More Financially Stable

Let’s face it; most women look for men who can support them financially. It is not about being a gold-digger or a social climber. It is all about practicality. When you start a family, for example, it is important that the man is able to provide security. A self-sufficient woman will not easily settle for anyone who earns less.

Now, from a logical perspective, a typical guy in his late 20s will have fewer savings, less wealth, and fewer assets accumulated compared to what he'll become 20 years later. That is considering that he continued to work and save as he gets older.

I know a lot of people like to dispute this by saying that money isn't everything and that money can't buy you happiness, but there is a certain level of wealth that you need to get to that will allow you to have freedom and stability.

In this regard, an older man has enough assets and money in the bank to support a family. This is why women go for financially-stable men instead of those who are still generally starting with their career.

I am not saying that women should depend on their partner financially, but some societies consider it ideal for women to stay at home and take care of the kids and for the husband to work to support the family. And women date in order to find a man whom she can live with all her life and start a family with. Women don't date just for the sake of dating; they are also thinking of the future.

3. Older Men May Be Better in Terms of Pleasing and Handling Women

In my opinion, older men have had their fair share of both short-lived and more stable relationships, and this gives them a bit of an advantage when it comes to handling relationships. Their previous experiences have helped them learn what women generally want and what makes women happy.

Not only do they know more in bed, but they also understand women a little bit better. They are also more sensitive to their partner's needs. Older men tend to be more romantic as well. They have a good sense of humor that does not involve shaming their friends or other destructive behavior.

Just think about it for a second: older men have had the time to develop and practice their skills at pleasing women. This experience makes a big difference in comparison to younger men who have not put in the same amount of work when it comes to pleasing women.

Source

4. Older Men Generally Look for a Serious Relationship

Men mature much later than women, and normally middle age in men is the age of maturity. This is where they seek a more stable and healthy relationship. This is the age where they usually have pieced their life altogether, and they are now ready for a more serious and deeper commitment.

Women who are tired of short-lived and immature relationships can find a more satisfying and more stable relationship with an older guy than a guy in his late 20s for example. Younger men are still at an age where they love to explore and try different things before settling on something more serious.

So, if a girl feels that she is ready to tie the knot, or if she is ready for a serious commitment and ready to start a family, a younger man is just not the right person for her.

5. Older Men Have More Sophisticated Tastes

When it comes to the finer things in life like wine, food, beer, traveling, and clothes, older men tend to choose the more sophisticated ones. First, they can afford it and second they just know that it is better quality.

They also know, however, that when it comes to food and drinks, quality does not always come with a hefty price. You don’t need to eat at a 5-star restaurant to be able to enjoy your food. You can find an affordable place that serves 5-star quality food and drinks with much better service as well.

An older man is less insecure about his position in life, so he does not feel the need to go out for expensive and lavish meals. Instead, he has found his rotation of affordable and quality dining options, and he knows what he wants.

When traveling, older men avoid touristy places because they know that they won’t get authentic products for the right price and they won’t be able to enjoy the scenery with the entire crowd roaming around. They are happy to sit in one corner where you can have all the views for yourself. Now that takes careful planning, timing, and experience, and older men as experienced travelers, know that.

Source

6. Older Men Are Pretty Good in the Kitchen as Well

I love to cook and I am very good at it, but I am still always amazed at my partner because he can cook very well. I find it very sexy when a man knows how to cook and not just a simple dish like boiled potatoes and fried eggs. I mean some dishes like beef bourguignon, potato au gratin, Indian curry, lasagna, and stuff like that.

I really admire men who can cook and tend for themselves. It is quite seldom for younger guys these days to be self-sufficient, especially in my own country. They always rely on their mothers to cook for them and take care of all their needs, and that is not my cup of tea.

7. Older Men Generally Live a Healthy Lifestyle

They love to drink wine and beer and yes some of them smoke as well, but they know their limitations. The only time this is not the case is when they are having difficulty coping with their own problems which I believe is an exception because older men can generally handle their issues because they are mature enough to solve them.

Older men also tend to have at least one or two sports that they really enjoy doing. They maintain an active lifestyle apart from the office. They like spending their money on things like travel and spare parts for their car or bike and not on gadgets and game consoles which the younger men are more inclined to buy.

They also understand the need for relaxation time, and they do not feel the need to constantly push themselves into exhaustion like so many younger men. Instead, they take a more focused, laid-back approach.

8. Older Men Are Less Focused on Partying

I am not a party girl, and I never liked parties and big crowds in the first place. Even in my teenage years, I was like an old woman in a young woman’s body. Younger men tend to like parties, booze, and loud music and I just can’t bring myself to relate to them even if I force it. I just don’t like it.

I also don’t find myself enjoying the company of younger men and talking to them endlessly because their choice of topics does not jive with my interests. I find their topics a little bit shallow for my taste. Younger men usually talk about girls, cars, technology, and gadgets. Older men, on the other hand, can talk about politics, religion, sexuality, economy, relationships, food, and travel which are exactly my interests.

Older men also tend to realize that the kind of party-heavy lifestyle many young men focus on is unsustainable and not good for one's health. This goes hand-in-hand with their focus on living a healthy lifestyle. Instead, they tend to enjoy the company of their good friends, in social settings where everyone can be heard and interesting conversations can take place.

What Do You Think Is the Greatest Challenge When Dating an Older Person?

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9. Psychological and Biological Reasons

There are a few psychological and biological reasons why women are attracted to older men, particularly women on the younger side who are still in their 20s or early 30s. From an evolutionary perspective, men can remain fertile longer, and thus an older man who has survived has accumulated more resources than a younger man.

The fact that the man has made it that far in life also is a clue that he has good genetics and robust health, making him a desirable mate. Remember, that in prehistoric times men would not live all that long, so the ones that did were more likely to pass on their genes.

Dating Older Men

In my experience, once you start dating an older man the guys within your age bracket becomes either immature or too dumb for you.

Some of my friends do not understand why I like older men. Some people think I am a gold-digger. But no matter what people say, I just can't force myself to have a fulfilling and healthy relationship with a guy close to my age. Either they are too immature for me, too boring, or too serious for my liking.

I find older men to be perfect for me. My partner right now is 15 years older, and I am so happy. He is constantly supportive, and he encourages me to be the best version of myself.

Although it may be a bit difficult to keep up with his pace sometimes, I believe I am where I should be. I don't need to make people understand, but I want to make things clear: some women are just too smart and mature for younger men to handle.

Potential Issues Dating Older Men

While I love dating older men, there are some potential downsides to be aware of. Older men can be insecure about their age, and so they try to date younger women to make themselves feel younger. This type of behavior is apparent right from the beginning so use some caution when you're first getting to know an older guy.

Make sure that you are able to maintain your independence and don't let him control you. This is another issue that older men may have: the need for control and power. Since they are used to doing things their way, they may struggle with having to give up some of their decision-making to you.

A healthy relationship requires mutual respect, and some older men may not be willing to give that to you. Instead, they just see you as a prize or an object. Make it clear from the beginning that you will not tolerate that type of treatment.

Another potential issue is the generation gap that exists between you and an older man. Having a large age gap of ten years or more could make it difficult to connect over shared cultural values, but don't let that discourage you! There are plenty of great older guys out there.

Questions & Answers

  • I am a sixteen-year-old girl, I got my period at ten and matured real quick. Is it normal that I haven't liked anybody under the age of thirty-five since I was about twelve? I have always imagined myself to live with someone much older; someone who can make me feel safe at night and happy in the morning. Both parents neglected me as a child when my sister was born; I have suspicions that it is just daddy issues.

    Yes, it could be daddy issues indeed. It is normal for a girl to have a crush on boys that are a little bit older but older than thirty-five? No, that is not normal. I remember I had a crush on a boy two years older than myself when I was in Elementary. I had my period at 9, and I also matured real quick, but I still had a crush on boys that are close to my age. I only started liking older people like my professors when I was in college. But that was because I found most men my age to be boring and uninteresting.

  • Is it practical for a 60 year old to date a 32 year old?

    By the age of 30 and above, people often have their own jobs and have been able to organize their lives somehow. They are usually self-reliant and independent, so dating a person older than 30 means that you are dating someone who has already figured out what he/she wants in his/her life. Dating someone who is self-sufficient and independent is way more practical than dating an 18-year-old who is still in school.

  • Is it practical for a 60-year-old man to date an 18-year-old girl?

    Although a 60-year-old guy dating an 18-year-old girl is not violating any laws, I don't believe it is practical, and most importantly, I don't think it is healthy. The guy should know that the girl is not mature enough to really think of the repercussions of being in a relationship with a man old enough to be her grandfather. There will be a lot of issues concerning the age difference, like mental capabilities and behavioral differences. This huge age gap in a relationship is really difficult to handle and does not work out very well most of the time. I don't think it is very healthy to invest in such a relationship.

  • Am i weird because I like older men?

    No, but it still depends on how old the man is.

  • I am fifteen. Is it weird that I like men in their late twenties and early thirties?

    We are from different cultures, and I don't think it is weird if you only like someone. But if you are dating, I think that is a different story. If it is just a crush, then it is totally okay, but older men aren't supposed to date girls younger than eighteen. So dating when you are only fifteen is really too young.

Comments

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    • poppyr profile image

      Poppy 

      6 weeks ago from Tokyo, Japan

      My fiancé is 21 years older than me and I love it. No silly jealousy or drama, he is calm and sensible and doesn’t go out clubbing. He also wants to have a family.

      One thing that is difficult though is interacting with his friends, though they are very kind and respectful. Good article!

    • profile image

      itrose4 

      2 months ago

      ' I mean some dishes like beef bourguignon and potato au gratin and stuff like that'...lol!

    • profile image

      Jc 

      2 months ago

      I have been attracted to older men a few times over the years but I avoided it. I am in my 30s now and recently met someone. Single, older, handsome but still unusual features, different race, other side of the world. I don't know if anything will happen or if we will just be friends. I don't know what to tell my mother about him. I just know sometimes he is the only person I want to talk to or see. I worry about the age gap and what people will think. But I am also the kind of person to say "to hell with what people think". I agree with the author. I am not a party girl and I do find a lot of men in my age group immature. Also most older men are more romantic, attentive and encouraging.

    • profile image

      Tony 

      3 months ago

      I can only speak about me. But I'm a 56 year old male and my fiancee turning 38 soon. I lost my 1st wife last year due to a terrible surgery with having A Fib and the anesthesia she was not able to recovery medical examiner has her case as pending almost a year. My fiancee went thru a horrible car accident spent 8 months in the hospital recovering while her ex spent all their life savings on gambling. Totally leaving her cleaned out over $50,000 in debt over $200,000 in medical bills. Durning this time. I met her. Strangest place we met was thru online she was an administrator for a group she created. Just a simple chat met for lunch quickly we feel in love. A year later we got engaged. Not plans getting married yet. But we love each other. I don't think age enters an equation. Because love conquers all. And while I head over heels about her. I think she is incredible, amazing not to mention very beautiful she loves how I'm very positive. We been thru alot. I totally understands. But I would do anything for her. Always want to take good care of her. And she knows it. Never thought be in a relationship like this. But it happened. My 1st wive was older than me by 4 years so it's not the age but it's how we feel about one another. This new relationship I'm very happy so is she. I love her very much. And I tell her everyday and every chance I have. But she is truly amazing. That's my story.

    • profile image

      Response 

      3 months ago

      2 butterflies kisses:

      I would advise to at least take your time. In general anyone over the age of thirty that rushes things gets the side eye. Besides - if it’s perfect love then what is time anyway?

      But for real- do not get married until it’s been at least 3 years.

    • profile image

      jj 

      3 months ago

      I am dating with a 32 year female, happy with her, but several of her females friends are asking questions if I wanted more children from them. However, my girl friend has not asked about the question. I do not rock the boat.

    • profile image

      ButterflyKisses 

      4 months ago

      Im dating a man 25 years my senior at this point. i have never met a man who is more kind and loving than this man, we can laugh together and when life gets alot for me i can cry on his shoulder he wipes away my tears and tells me to relax itll all be okay baby. The most difficult thing we are dealing with is the opinions of my mother, she doesnt approve at all and judges because he was married twice. the first wife was a mutual agreement to divorce because they both agreed it wasnt working out, the second marriage she was cheating on him with more than one man, he tried to salvage the marriage but quite frankly i dont blame him for walking away.

      we talk about our future together and he was the first one who told me he loved me, when he works night shifts he listens to the radio and sends me voice notes with love songs.

      You never know how badly youve been treated until someone starts treating you right.

      Love is not about Age or Distance, Its about a man giving his loyalty to his woman and his woman being loyal to her man

    • profile image

      lol 

      4 months ago

      Most old men probably aren't that good looking and are probably creepy....

    • purpleshadow13 profile imageAUTHOR

      Jennifer Gonzales 

      4 months ago from The Hague, Netherlands

      Hi George,

      Thank you so much for your comment. I am glad that you liked the article. Cheers!

    • profile image

      George 

      4 months ago

      Sarah, thanks for your opinion.. but it sounds as though you are still living in the past... I noticed a couple of personal comments that might have reflected your experience which is okay but it sounds like you're still holding a lot of anger and that anger is going to limit you in your decisions. I as a man apologize for whatever show called man has hurt you or changed your views... on to the article. I am 51 and my fiance is 31 we just read the article together and we totally agree. This isn't me influencing her this isn't me telling her what to do... We read this together we talked about each section and came to a unanimous decision that this article is true and correct. Well at least it applies to our life and our opinions in general. To the author of this article... Thank you we appreciated this article very much we thank you for your Insight in your experiences, this is something that we both enjoyed and it has opened our eyes in more ways... Good luck and thank you very much

    • profile image

      Gina 

      6 months ago

      Erm to be honest older men are more reliable and less immature arseholes

    • profile image

      Sarah 

      6 months ago

      This article is geared so men can exploit girls and the reasons are 75 percent not true about older men, as you cannot change a person character. You women are only going to find yourselves alone one day as you are going to get past thirty very soon! Then what are you going to do? Do you really fashion your ignorance on thinking because you are so much younger that he will stay with you and not leave you for someone younger too? Women need to turn the tables because if you do not you will pave the way for your female children, sisters, etc. Do not tell me that you are not attracted the individual who can just really love you. No it is because you want him to financially support you or want a father figure. Keep it up and you will sabotage your happiness. Women you will get old and it will happen fast, or he has already abused his wife and tells you it is all her fault, do not believe that. I am a very young beautiful 50 year old woman, and it is very sick of a man who is insecure and if it was his daughter he would get very angry. If you do not stand your ground now you will ruin all opportunities a woman deserves.

    • profile image

      The Don 

      7 months ago

      As a guy, almost all of these are the reasons why I only date older women.

    • profile image

      Nope 

      9 months ago

      Biologically most of these are wrong

    • profile image

      Becky 

      11 months ago

      Great article. I am not in any serious relationship at the moment, but I do casually date. I see mostly older men, the oldest being 26years my senior. I have always found older men attractive. And now that I'm casually dating older men ive realised many things about myself and the misconceptions of sex that I was always given as a teen. My casual lover who is 53, is one of the most caring and gentle men I have ever met. He listens and he enjoys a good mature conversation. And he is also very sensual and playful too, his mannerisms and way of speaking very erotic and interesting. Physically fit and fairly classy, he is so good in the bedroom too, if not the best I've ever been with. It is a pleasure to send time with him eating good food and conversation, while mixing in some sensual banter and flirting. This is my experience, a I totally relate to this article.

    • profile image

      Keri 

      11 months ago

      Helped with understanding why people make hurtful comments, age is no barrier as I see it, it just hard when you work in the same company and people watching all the time and dealing with his previous baggage can be difficult at times and the feeling that you are being used for his own gain

    • profile image

      Finn99 

      12 months ago

      Older man 40 years older than myself love conquers all .

    • profile image

      Aaron 

      12 months ago

      Great article. I agree 100%

    • purpleshadow13 profile imageAUTHOR

      Jennifer Gonzales 

      13 months ago from The Hague, Netherlands

      Hmmmmm even before the age of technology, men are already seen as providers for the family. Most of successful societies today at some point had a patriarchal system and even now a lot of societies are still using this system. You cannot blame a woman who wants to ensure a good future for her children by choosing a man who is very much capable of providing for the family. For me, men who treat women as sex objects and nothing more is worse than a woman who treat men as "vehicles for procreation and financial resources".

    • profile image

      Trawler 

      13 months ago

      So to speak Zaratustra was right: women treat men as vehicle to give them kids and financial resources.

    • profile image

      Juanita Fuentes 

      13 months ago

      I agree it is why I married a 55 year old I am 34 and very happy I made this choice.

    • profile image

      Mr jeff 

      13 months ago

      Hello .I am one of your mature Welsh British. GENTLEMAN .

      WHO has matured like good wine and fine Brandy . I dress immaculately

      And have a passion for good quality cars and live by the sea.

      Yes I have had the wife the kids and

      Now on my own .

      I also cook exstreamly well and have good taste in things in general and yes

      I am solvent .I am well traveled And yes I am and have always been Romantic young at heart but nobody s

      Fool.

      I know women realy well!

      And yes I prefer younger women

      5 to 30 years younger than my self .

      But someone who not stupid and

      behaves like a silly child .!

      But who is intelligent and fantastic company mature and wise with a good true heart and would not play about with other men .

      Hard to find in this day and age as alot of them are gold diggers !

      A Genuin person all through is like gold dust .

      But I agree with your comments in your video Clair .

      Yours Sincerely

      The prince of the Oceon.

      . "Taxi!Taxi!" Mr Jeff.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 

      18 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Jennifer, This is a wonderful and well-written hub. I agree with the reasons you have stated why young women prefer older men. In my youth, I was very much attracted to older men, mainly because I felt men closer to my age bracket were quite immature.

      However, now at my age??? I'm afraid any men much older than I.....are dead!! How sad is that? I'm now zeroing in on the cuties younger than myself! LOL Why not? Peace, Paula

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