Jana believes that the spice of life can be found in the exploration of other cultures, good food, and wine.
An Ancient Art Goes Digital
Tantra is truly one of the ancient arts. Born in the East, it was once exclusively the domain of royal couples. As time went by, it became accessible to anyone willing to be a student and today, the enduring art has a big footprint on the Internet. Cyber tantra includes information, online classes, forums, videos and of course, people who date or practice together as tantrics over the Internet.
A Better Chance to Learn
Cyber tantra has a big benefit over the “real-life” version. Neither is better than the other, but most newcomers to the art are disappointed to find that their neighbourhood offers no classes, nor is it financially viable for them to drive to the nearest teacher in the next town or city. Worse, for some there is no way a tantric community will ever bloom nearby. Despite that this practice is not wanton or a cult, many people still view tantra as such and easily condemn neighbours and friends who express an interest in it. Because of this, a person wanting to learn tantra often feel so ashamed and clouded by a conservative community, that they give up on the idea altogether.
Cyber tantra provides a way out. There is a smorgasbord for the novice to enjoy — teachers, groups, partners and so much more. Everything can be studied and practiced without being ostracized by those in one's family or social circle who are not willing to understand what tantra is truly about. In any case, tantra is a deeply personal and private practice. There's no shame in not sharing it with everyone around you.
How to Pick Your Crew
To get involved with strangers online is always risky. When it comes to cyber tantra, there are two very important issues that must be taken into account. Right off the bat, be weary of predators and people who don't know what they are doing. As an antidote to the latter, you will serve yourself well by first studying a few books or courses on your own. Read and digest as many articles as you can. Build your groundwork and a feeling for the art. Once you are no longer a raw novice, your ability to pick up on smelly eggs increases. Such hints can warn you that a specific teacher, group or forum have glommed together because they are just interested (but have no interest in serious study) or pretend to be legitimate as a way to milk people for money. Unfortunately, there are tantra teachers out there who are more interested in selling you stuff than passing on the art.
You can find fantastic and supportive communities online. Just be patient and specifically, don't jump into anything. Research a given group or teacher's background, credentials and references before committing to anything. You are going to be sharing personal growth and deep intimate moments with these people. For this reason, make sure that they are authentic tantrics.
Be Careful About What You Share
Stay Safe from Predators
The Internet can amazing and at the same time, unbelievably scary. Just as there are those who use it to spread knowledge, connect and do good, there will always be individuals who wield the Internet as a means to an end. Usually, somebody else's bad end. Tantra has an undeniable sexual element. When practiced in its proper form, couples discover deep happiness and even singles experience personal growth and bliss. However, due to the fact that it is a sexual art, tantra is a buzz word for predators seeking to gain a victim's confidence. They count on the fact that their target is not well-taught in the art and that the victim might be blinded by tantra's safe reputation.
Some of the bad guys are pretty obvious, especially if you've been surfing the net for years. They pop up in nearly every forum, make lewd suggestions or turn weird as soon as they have you on private chat. Not every creep comes with a neon sign. The most dangerous are very experienced in what they do, come with an uncanny ability to coerce others into a vulnerable position and do it while looking harmless.
Take it Slow and Sweet
Stick to Your Boundaries
The best way to stay safe online is to stick to your boundaries. Never let anyone make you do something uncomfortable. If you don't want to talk about private things or meet, then don't. A predator won't waste much time with somebody who has clear rules and won't break them. A true tantric partner respects another's personal do's and don'ts. Real tantra is not about pace but depth – getting to know your partner, not hooking up after three e-mails. There is of course, always the chance that somebody is willing to “woo” a victim for quite some time because once they gain their confidence, the rewards are greater. The victim might be more willing to meet, share intimate details or images with somebody whom they perceive as an authentic tantric partner. Be always weary of somebody who asks for nude or suggestive images of yourself. No real practitioner in their right mind will request this. Once those pictures are out of your hands, you are open to blackmail – which is sometimes the only reason a predator grooms anybody. Also, should you decide to meet, go to a public place and don't agree to leave together.
The Benefits of Cyber Tantra
The whole idea of cyber tantra is not a lost cause, plainly because bad people try to ruin a good thing. There are splendid benefits, as long as you stay true to your boundaries and remain safety conscious.
- Many people are shy in real life and fear embarrassing face-to-face mistakes. Cyber tantra offers a way to express oneself in a way that most cannot during a first meeting
- Frankly, you don't have to look your best for every “date”. After an exhausting day or recovering from the flu, when nobody resembles a beauty queen, you can engage with the tantric community online without worrying about looks
- When the pressure of perfection is removed, all that remains is conversation. Cyber tantra is a great way to get to know the deeper details of a prospective partner; their history, likes, favourite things and dreams
- You can attend seminars and classes in the comfort of your own home
- When you find someone and begin practicing tantra online, there is less embarrassment when accidentally stumbling across one of your partner's sexual no-go boundaries
- For those who prefer a degree of anonymity about their tantric practice, cyber tantra is perfect. Often, people fear prejudice and gossip in the workplace and family disapproval
What to Expect of Cyber Partners
Most people use cyber tantra in conjunction with real life classes and a partner. They share their world with like-minded individuals but won't disappear when the push comes to shove. However, there are tantrics who only want online relationships. A deep fear of commitment contributes to this preference and that's something you should define early in a new cyber partner. Will they ever be willing to meet? Assure them it won't be tomorrow or when they aren't ready. But if you want to find your soul mate and one day have a future together, it's not going to happen when strictly-cyber tantrics keep disappearing into the ether of the Internet whenever things get too involved for them. What kind of cyber partner do you want to be? Before joining a community, be clear on that too and be open about your preference should you be the one who just want online relationships for now.
© 2018 Jana Louise Smit