Sean hails from Southern Oregon. He likes to explore the science of thought and physical matter.
Hot or Not?
What is it that we as human beings look for in a potential partner? Is it sexual attraction, physical ability, intelligence, parental skill, humor, or a combination of all of the fore-mentioned?
Well, the truth is that we all have our bag of tricks to attract the right mate for us, but sometimes we miss an opportunity to find that special someone just in the way we present and package ourselves when out searching for that Mr. or Mrs. Right. Here we explore those things we may not know are attractive to all of us.
You walk down the street, and you spot a hot guy or girl, so what is it that attracts your eye to them? Most of us find certain physical attributes attractive be it a slender build, accentuated body parts (large breasts), a cute behind, their height, their hair cut, their clothing . . . the list can go on and on but in truth, we all have individual likes and dislikes when it comes to attraction.
One of the most obvious attractive things about a person is in the way they carry themselves. What I mean is, do they portray themselves as confident? You can usually tell a person's confidence in their posture.
Are they standing tall, or are they slouched? Do they seem beaten and tired or awake and aware? Do they look healthy? Do they seem happy or upset? These things, believe it or not, will play very heavily on what a person sees as attractive!
Yes, they are emotional body cues that can tell us much more about a potential mate than the immediate physical attributes we all notice right away.
The next major tell is in the emotions of their face; do they seem happy or agitated? Agitated faces give people a feeling of uneasiness, and this will turn off someone right away if they feel uneasy around the person no matter how physically hot they may be.
Are they sad, or do they seem calm and approachable? All these factors play into whether or not we find someone attractive.
Style and Grooming
Next comes clothing, make-up (women), personal hygiene, and hair; We can tell if a person is going to be someone we want to talk to just by observing what they are wearing, what their hairstyle is like, and if they seem unkempt or dirty.
If you are a reserved Old Navy-type soccer mom, you probably won't be approaching a punked-out guy in his twenties with a spiked mohawk . . . but then again, maybe you will! But most people tend to be attracted to people of similar likes and ideas.
A dirty person is a major turn-off right away, so if you want to attract someone you should be clean! How many guys wonder why girls don't want to date them? The truth is it is because she thinks you smell or look gross all the time! Guys and girls at least try to smell good and be clean when out seeking potential romance.
A person may pass all the rest of these tests, but personality can be the one key thing that will either seal the deal or break it. A really self-absorbed person or an arrogant person that only talks about themselves is a major turn-off. Someone who talks all the time about old flings or problems in their lives is also a major turn-off.
When you first meet someone, you should focus on positive things like things you both have in common or interests that you have. Talk about places you've been or want to see.
These key things can really help break the ice and will score high on the other person's list of things they like as well. Stay away from negative or self-absorbed subjects.
To Be Considered Attractive, Remember These Things
We may find ourselves in the traps of what is socially accepted as being attractive and you may say to yourself negative things. Just remember these things!
- Posture (carry yourself with confidence)
- Emotion (be happy and positive)
- Clothing (wear something that will attract who you are looking to meet!)
- Hygiene (always be clean, well taken care of, and look healthy)
- Personality (be positive, stay away from negative talk and self-absorbed subjects)
In truth, we may all have different likes and dislikes! I happen to like women who are tall and of a larger build. Someone may find that unattractive and be more apt to like a thinner woman.
To me, the larger build of a woman (not fat) means she is healthy. But that is only physical attraction; on a deeper level, I need someone who can balance me and who brings me back to the ground from my flights of obsessive fancy.
We are all so different from one another, and that in itself is attractive. Attraction comes in many forms, and we should allow it the room it needs to breathe.