Yves has met many good men who love women and it is her mission to help them understand what sets them apart from the crowd.
She Wants to Feel Wanted
Regardless of changing times, a woman still wants the same things from men that she has wanted since the beginning of time. Ultimately, she wants and needs to feel cherished and protected by the man she desires. Quite simply, her woman's heart requires that she feel cared for. There is no other way around it, nor should there be.
Secondly, a perceptive woman will hold back a part of herself if she believes a man is only nominally interested in her—she may even discontinue the "relationship" before it truly has a chance to grow if she senses the male is only killing time with her until someone "better" comes along.
Thirdly, the man who fully embraces his maleness and who also has that wonderful juxtaposition of virility and tenderness is a highly desirable and attractive male. When all is said and done, strength, tenderness and authenticity combined, are the three traits that women find most attractive in a man.
Once a woman realizes her man is the real deal, wild horses couldn't drive her away. She feels safe with a man who maintains high standards for living and loving. Needless to say, disingenuous behavior such as lying, cheating, and/or breaking promises will tarnish and ultimately destroy any relationship.
You Do Not Have to Be Rich and Powerful to Be Attractive
Unfortunately, too many men have bought into the notion that women only want men who are "hot," rich, and powerful. It is true that some women are gold diggers, but those women are not quite as common as some men might fear.
On a superficial level, wealth and power can be attractive, but believe me when I say that a worthwhile woman is much more concerned with whether a man shows her some respect and maturity. Wealth and power are all well and good, but a truly decent woman isn't interested in making love to your bank account. She wants a flesh and blood man who will be there for her through the hard times as well as good times. Only a cynical man believes that all women want is half of his hard-earned assets. Such men truly miss the point of marriage and its' noble purpose, which is to love, cherish and provide stability for the family and thus, society.
How to Turn Her Off Really Fast
Sadly, many women have come to believe that the good man is a dying species. More and more dating women are complaining about how men are acting out in strange ways. For example, some guys somehow believe that sending half-naked pictures of themselves to a woman they hardly know, via text or by making sexually suggestive comments on a first date, is a turn-on for her. It isn't. Not even remotely.
Men who act this way will never have the attention of a quality woman. Such immature and foolish behavior is highly insulting and disrespectful. Also, being a real man and displaying aggressive machismo techniques are at opposite ends of the "manliness" spectrum. Any male who confuses the two will never sustain a meaningful relationship with a loving woman who actually likes herself. The type of man who texts a woman at 11pm to find out if she wants to “do something” is not only on the wrong track, he has actually missed the train altogether. This should be obvious, but apparently some things need to be stated.
On the other hand, the world is full of decent men who are able and willing to treat women well. And some of you, who have been fortunate enough to find the woman of your dreams, are usually more than happy to let your best friend know he’s acting like an idiot if he thinks a good date consists of turning every conversation around to sex, sex, and more sex. Women want to be seen as a whole human being, not a combination body parts.
Improving Yourself Will Improve Your Love Life
Any reasonably intelligent man is perfectly capable of choosing to develop some attractive characteristics, that is, if he sincerely wants to draw a desirable woman into his life. However, in order to find the right woman in the first place, he must commit to working on becoming the right man. The rest will actually take care of itself. Consequently, it helps to develop some self-discipline.
No doubt, men also feel frustrated about dating. Some of the angst has to do with women wanting equal rights, yet also wanting to be treated in a "special" way. But what men need to understand and accept is that her desire to be treated special is a perfectly normal and healthy feeling. Even men have this feeling, and it has nothing to do with equal rights.
Perhaps some of you guys out there believe you are walking an emotional tightrope in trying to figure out what to do to please a woman. You don't have to feel that way. Most women do not believe that chivalry is sexist. Normal women love gentleman. However, given today's attitude of political correctness, some women are afraid to admit how much they enjoy chivalry because they fear being viewed as "unfair", old fashioned, or even elitists.
On the other hand, any man who throws the equal rights argument in a woman's face to get out of acting like a gentleman is bad news. All of his relationships will be sub-standard because he has chosen to manipulate "equal rights" to his advantage by stating that women no longer have the right to be treated well, since they have demanded equal rights. Huh? That's just plain wrong. Such men are not worthy of a good woman's time.
Little Things Mean a Lot
One of the most important things any male can do to please a woman is to first, pursue her and to then make her feel as if she is the most beautiful creature on the face of the earth. If that means writing her a sweet note or giving her a cute bouquet of flowers or a single pink balloon, then so be it. Women love these little acts of kindness and the more creative they are, the better. But keep in mind---timing is everything. You never want to go over-the-top too soon. Too much too soon really isn't wise or necessary. Overwhelming her with too much attention or gifts will actually work against you. The reason for this is because women need to feel safe. If she feels overwhelmed, she might question your intentions.
The good news is that whether you're the extroverted jock or the bookish professor, you have something to offer a woman. One type does not fit all. One woman may be intrigued by the kindly man who is reserved and philosophical while the other woman seeks the extroverted guy who can make her laugh until tears stream down her face. The point is that each man has unique and wonderful attributes to bring to the table.
Best Not to Put the Cart Before the Horse
If you really want a woman to find you attractive, you've got to do some good old-fashioned courting before you even attempt to get her into your bed. Furthermore, it is appropriate for the man to do the courting, and not the other way around. Committing to doing little things like pulling out chairs and opening doors are nice ways to say, "I like and respect you." I cannot stress the importance of these small chivalrous gestures. Women who are secure in their femininity especially appreciate being treated like the ladies they are.
And for those of you who already have a special woman in your life, you would do well to tell her she is beautiful, hold her hand in public and in private, and leave the occasional love note lying around where she can find it easily before she heads out to work in the morning. And at the end of each night, be sure to tell her how much you love her. Such simple, loving gestures cannot be underestimated. I mention this only because it is easy for married couples to take each other for granted as time goes on. However, neglecting small kindnesses is a sure-fire way to kill romance over the long haul. It is always best to keep the home fire burning. I am sure you already know why!
A Woman Must Feel Desired
If you learn nothing else from this article, learn this: A woman must feel desired by the man in her life. She may already know she is physically attractive but if she does not hear it from you, she is not going to feel very desirable after all.
Consequently, one of the most important things a man can do is to tell a woman how much he appreciates her. Just speaking those words out loud and from your heart is one of the most romantic ways to show her that you care. Simple compliments are so easy to give and the rewards are great.
"A woman must feel desired by the man in her life."
Qualities That Women Find Highly Attractive in Men
You don’t have to have all these traits, but you must develop some of them if you want to pull women toward you instead of away from you.
- Kindness (Rated #1 all over the world)
- Good Grooming
- Good Lover
- Moral Character
- Emotionally Stability
- Economically Responsible
- Generosity of spirit
Character Still Counts
If you will notice, I did not include one word here about the need for extreme wealth and “abs like steel.” True, some women do care about wealth and good looks alone. These are the same women who wonder what went wrong when, out of the blue, their husbands unexpectedly announce, "Sorry dear, I’ve fallen in love with my secretary." Long story short, it takes more than wealth or good looks to keep a relationship intact.
If you want real affection in your life, you have to develop character. Owning trendy "stuff" and expensive cars is fine, but those things are not enough when it comes time for some serious lovemaking. You can't lug the car into bed with you. If a male hasn't learned how to make a woman feel valued, he can forget about having a satisfying and meaningful love life with a desirable woman.
The ladies do not get a "free-get-out-of-jail card" either. Women must step it up by becoming a classy woman who has self-respect. Being a lady doesn't make a woman a prude. If anything, her confidence in knowing when to move forward and when to wait is actually very sexy, not to mention... incredibly smart.
Just know that once you become the authentic man you were meant to be, you'll have no problem finding a woman who would like nothing better than to stay warm and cozy with you all night long---not just for one night, but every night.
Remember, your passion and virility is the glue that holds your love together, but your tender loving care is the reason she wants to stay.
Questions & Answers
Question: How do I make my fiancee attracted to me?
Answer: Given that she is your fiancee, my deepest hope is that she is already attracted to you. If you feel she is not, then you may need to consider whether you are engaged to the right woman. As they say, "There's a lid for every pot." In other words, two people either fit or "get" each other well enough to commit to marriage or they are marrying for the wrong reasons. I don't know anything about your particular circumstances. I do know that women need to be reassured of a man's love for them from time to time and; to know her husband will be there for her during tough times as well as the good times. On the other hand, you don't want to be too "clingy."
That being said, please do not marry anyone who doesn't love you. There are unique situations in which the woman is pregnant and you may feel compelled to marry. But if she doesn't love you, the marriage will ultimately break-up. FYI: If there is a pregnancy, find out how you can best secure your right, legally, to see the child. Do what you have to do.
Question: Does having hair matter to women?
Answer: It all depends on the woman's tastes. For example, I am perfectly fine with baldness, but my sister says she "can't get into it." For younger men who are balding prematurely, I recommend shaving the head altogether or having a close cut. Personally, I think a shaved head is a good look for a man If he also dresses well and carries himself with a certain amount of confidence.
But, I will say that no hair on top with hair only on the sides is not particularly sexy, but it is still totally acceptable for a guy who is 65 or older. After all, mother nature does what mother nature does... for males and females alike. None of us escape the ravages of time, nor should we have to.
Long story short, I wouldn't worry about hair too much. I've met very attractive bald men. Didn't phase me one bit that they didn't have a full head of hair. I was more interested in how they treated me, their intelligence, and whether they took care of themselves, in general.
Question: How do I dress well as a man, and what kind of clothes do I wear to be well-groomed for a lady?
Answer: If you are unfamiliar with current trends, the easiest way to figure out how to dress is to go into men's clothing shops and look at the mannequins. The Gap, for example, has nicely dressed male mannequins in their stores, The same goes for other higher-end men's shops, such as Dillards or Banana Republic. They make it easy for you. If you like the way a mannequin is dressed, just ask the clerk to help you find all those items in your size, including the shoes and belts. And by the way, a good pair of black and brown dress shoes are a must for your wardrobe. Be prepared to spend about $100 each on good looking shoes. You also want to get a really good haircut with a stylist or barber that knows what they are doing. If you do all those things, you will be a well dressed, well-groomed man. Best of luck to you!
Question: Do you, the writer of this article, have any tips on being more romantic?
Answer: Romance is achieved through all the small, thoughtful things we do. For example, if I am having car trouble, I would like the man I am dating to come with me to the garage and speak with the guy who is on the other side of the counter. I haven't the faintest idea what goes on underneath the hood of my car, and if it's going to cost $700 to fix, I want to know I'm not getting ripped off. Having a guy there that I've only dated a few times take the time to 'hold my hand' so to speak, will make me feel much more romantic toward him. That may seem like a no-brainer, but you'd be surprised at how many men pass on this opportunity to help.
Another nice thing to do is bring him or her some breakfast to work. It takes time to go to a good coffee shop and then go to another specialty store where they make great breakfast croissants or chocolate pastries. Taking the time and trouble to do little things like that is extremely romantic. Thoughtful gestures make the receiver feel loved and consequently, more loving! By the way, the gestures do not have to be big expensive gifts. Rather, they are generally more meaningful when they are small, thoughtful, and personalized.
© 2013 savvydating