I love giving tips on how to figure out if a guy is into you.
It's one of the world's most enduring questions—how can you tell if a guy likes you? At one time or another, it pops into most women's minds, usually when there's an attractive man at work, at school, or on public transportation.
You've both exchanged meaningful glances (were they?), sat closer than friends or coworkers sit (was it?), and there is so much that could happen between you if only you could tell if a guy likes you. But how, exactly, can you tell? Why is it so hard to judge your personal situation?
The short answer is that you're so close to the situation. You need an objective sign. You need a concrete way to tell if a guy likes you. You need to know how to tell if he has the potential to be the love of your life or has no romantic feelings for you at all.
Primary Signs: Body Language
When investigating how to get a boyfriend, body language is usually the best place to start. After all, you may not have even spoken yet. Or your conversations may have been so short that it's difficult to glean anything from them.
But there's an even better reason to start here: body language doesn't lie. It's one of the best ways to determine how a person feels. It's what intelligence agents use to discover whether or not a suspect is telling the truth. Check for key body language signs so you can use them to suss out the motives of your crush.
This isn't really a secret. Think about how you feel when you like someone. You just can't stop looking at them. You steal glances at lunch or whenever he walks by. If you find that many of your glances are returned, it is a good sign that he is into you too.
How do you tell for sure? The kind of glances he gives you is a big clue, and eyes can reveal or hide signs of attraction. Here are a few things to look for when and if you catch him making eye contact.
- His Eyebrows: If one of them lifts, even for a fraction of a second, that is a really good sign. That momentary lift is called a flash. It's largely a by-product of the hormonal whirlwind that activates the butterflies in your stomach when you see someone you like. He's probably not even aware that he's doing it. But his hormones are, and the flash is a great first step on the long journey that is how to tell if a guy likes you.
- The Direction of His Gaze: If a guy wants to sneak a peek at someone he likes without awkward eye contact, he'll look to the right of her face, sweep over her face with his eyes and then look to the left of her face. If his eyes are drawn to your mouth, it's doubly good.
- Look at His Pupils: If the guy you like has light-colored eyes, you may be in luck. They will be dilated when he talks to you if he's really interested.
- The Number of Glances: Not all guys exhibit overt signs of their interest. But if, more often than not, you catch him looking your way—even for a moment, even when he thinks you're not looking—it's a good sign that he is at least open to the idea of the two of you getting together.
One of the best ways to scan his face is to use a common method matchmakers recommend when instructing their clients on how to get a boyfriend:
- Catch his eye
- Hold his gaze and scan his face for four seconds. Count in your head if necessary.
- Look away for just a few seconds.
- Look back. Does he hold your gaze in response? Or does he look and then turn away in embarrassment? Those are both good signs. If he breaks eye contact and starts looking for somewhere else to look, he may not return your feelings.
- Also look for signs of how he acts around you.
There is a reason they call it magnetism. When a guy likes you, he invades your personal space: he sits close enough to make you feel a little flushed, chooses the seat next to you, and always manages to find himself close enough to touch you. This is such a powerful sign of affection that dating services use it when instructing their clients on how to get a boyfriend.
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When you next get a chance to be around or talk to your guy, check out the way he carries himself. If he slouches while he's around you, it might not just be bad posture. That's one of the many subconscious cues that a guy's body gives off when he has romantic feelings about a woman and is really in tune with what she has to say. But that's not the only sign.
Some guys swing toward the opposite end of the spectrum and improve their posture around the girl they like. He may also sit with his legs open or place his hands on his hips. This is a sign that he wants to impress you.
We've already talked about invading personal space and what a powerful sign it is when it comes to determining whether or not a guy likes you. It's so powerful, in fact, that some guys are too timid to make that bold a move. After all, sitting close comes with the risk that the object of your affection will reject you by scooting away.
Guys that are more reserved or have more to lose from the possibility of your rejection may be able to intellectually resist the urge to get near you. But if they like you, their bodies won't be able to resist. The next time you're around your crush, check the direction that his hands, feet, knees, pelvis, shoulders, or even elbows are pointed. If they are pointed towards you, it's a good sign that he wants to get closer.
They are his compass, and they'll always point toward what he wants. Even his face will be attracted toward you. A guy who likes you will rarely have his back to you. He may be too shy to make eye contact, but you'll regularly get a good look at his face, and that's no mistake.
Secondary Signs: Attire and More
If you're having trouble reading body language, and you've graduated to conversations and frequent interaction, you can investigate more of the signs that let you know ways to tell if a guy likes you.
One of those signs is his attire. Look at his clothing. Has the way he dresses changed recently, even slightly? One key to how to tell if a guy likes you is his grooming. Is he dressing better than usual? What about his hair?
Does he have a new cut, a little product perhaps? Maybe you've caught him running his fingers through it more often when he's talking to you. A guy who likes a girl will want to put his best foot forward in the hope that he'll catch your eye.
One of the clearest secondary signs that a guy is interested in you is his actions. If he's trying to impress you, he'll put his best foot forward and check to see if you're paying attention. For example, when you're in a group, he may boast or tell a joke and then look your way to see if you're impressed or laughing.
Unless, of course, your guy is shy. In that case, he may get flustered. He may have trouble getting his words out. Or, he may look flushed, clammy, or uncomfortable. These are all great signs that he likes you so much he's having trouble formulating sentences.
If your circumstances bring you close enough to talk regularly, it's tough to know whether or not he actually likes you. He may just be around you so much because you work or attend classes in the same building. You may just be colleagues that get along great.
Or, you may be in the friend zone. How do you know what's what? One great indicator that you are more than friends or colleagues is physical contact. Some touches are accidental. Others are just friendly. If he touches you in one or more of these ways, however, there is a good chance that he is interested in you in a romantic way.
- His leg or arm brushes against yours, and he doesn't move it—at least not immediately.
- He hugs you to say hello, celebrate a small victory, say goodbye, or for any excuse he can muster.
- He touches your arm or hand to emphasize a point he's making or to get your attention.
- He stands or sits close enough to touch you in the elevator, in class, or whenever the two of you are together.
Touch is a powerful sign of affection. If you think that he may be into you and you're interested in how to get a boyfriend as much as you are in finding out if he likes you, initiate some of the above touch indicators yourself.
You may find that this is the push he needs to ask you out already. Or it may bring things to a head, and you'll find out that he's not interested so that you can move on and use this list as a ways to tell if a guy likes you in more fertile fishing grounds.