Fresh perspective on dating issues compiled in consultation with friends in North America, Australia and African nations.
Recognizing the signs if a man is no longer interested in you will help you plan the next steps to take. (None of us want to be dumped and left heartbroken when least expecting it.) It is a blow to the ego and it seems so wrong. But when a man doesn't like you in the way you hoped, it is time to move on. Find someone new who will treat you better.
Here are five of the warning signs that confirm a man isn't interested in you:
- He rarely calls, texts or messages you.
- Doesn’t spend time with you.
- Never notices your new clothes or hairstyle.
- Keeps you away from his friends and family.
- You speak, but he doesn't listen.
He Doesn't Call, Text or Message You
1. The Phone Doesn't Ring
Unless you spend every hour by your boyfriend's side, he should have a reason to call you.
- To tell you his news
- To ask how you're doing
- Make plans for tonight
- Ask what you feel like for dinner
- Tell you he misses you
- Explain he's running late, or
- Ask you to meet him earlier.
In this modern age, texts and other technology often take the place of phone calls. However the effect is the same. You are waiting for him to contact you, but the phone doesn't ring.
If he doesn't call or text you as often as you'd like, you have to wonder why. Next time it happens, here's the questions you need to be asking yourself:
- Where is he?
- Why doesn't he call?
If there's no obvious and acceptable explanation, move onto:
- He knows I'm eager to hear from him.
- Why doesn't he care?
Which brings us back to:
- Where is he? And maybe even:
- Who is he with?
2. He Does Not Have Time For You
It’s natural that women love their men to be around them as often as possible. If a man is interested in you he will most likely have time for you but this isn’t the case when he isn’t in love with you.
Is he disinterested in spending time with you? Do you find him doing less important personal things while at the same time being 'too busy' to attend to what is important to you? For example, you are graduating, or it is your birthday. Or perhaps you're attending an important family function or party and when you invite him he gives excuses of not being able to attend.
Excuses are signs of a man's disinterest. Unless his excuse is a really good one, consider it a warning sign that your man doesn't like you as much as you'd hoped.
3. He Doesn't Look At You Or Notice Significant Changes
A man who doesn't look at you is not really interested in you. You want a man who can't take his eyes off you!
The biggest warning signs he is no longer interested (if he was before) include failing to notice significant changes. For example:
- You get a hair cut, and he doesn't notice.
- You dye your hair, but he doesn't comment.
- That new outfit you spent a small fortune buying doesn't attract a compliment.
- He never, ever says 'I like that!' or asks 'Is that new?'
You probably feel like you're often talking to the back of his head. He certainly doesn't gaze into your eyes or hold eye contact during conversations. Perhaps you haven't really noticed before now because he's always busy and engaged doing other things. But stop and think for a moment. If he doesn't look at you or notice significant changes you've recently made, he isn't interested in you.
Yes, it is natural to feel heartbroken when a man is not interested. But you can't heal a broken heart by subjecting yourself to more of the same. So if your guy isn't paying you attention and looking at you, don't waste your efforts on him.
Find someone new!
4. He Keeps You Away From His Friends and Family
Have you met his friends and family? Does he introduce you when you happen to cross paths? Or does he keep you at a distance from anyone he is close to? How he behaves towards you around his friends and family is a definite clue about whether or not a guy's genuinely interested.
If a guy is interested in you, he is likely to want to show you off. You know how it works. If you've been telling your friends and family about someone who has caught your attention, you are busting to say 'This is the one!' (You might not say it out loud, but that's your basic message.)
Yes, there could be a good reason why he is keeping you distant from friends and family. But that's generally because he's either embarrassed about you, or them. If he hasn't already shared stories with you about his dysfunctional family or his obnoxious friends, there's a good chance he's just not interested in you as a long term partner.
Don't Let Him Turn You Into Someone Who Nags
5. He Doesn't Talk Or Listen To You
If a man accuses you of nagging him when all you want is to have a conversation with him, he is definitely not interested in you. You shouldn't have to repeat yourself. If he is genuinely interested in spending time with you and making you happy, he would listen to you the first time.
Don't stay with a man who makes you feel like you have to nag him or manipulate him to get him to do anything. Life is too short. Even when life is difficult, you should feel happy in the presence of your partner. And he should feel happy with you.
If you catch yourself turning into someone who nags because he doesn't talk to you or listen to you, move on. If a guy is not interested in you, you are wasting your time trying to change him. Watch for the warning signs a man doesn't like you, and then find a man who does!
© 2012 Daniel Long