Top 5 Signs He's a Player, Cheater, and No Good Liar

Updated on January 10, 2017

The Crimson Mark Of Guilt

Sometimes it's just that obvious...
Sometimes it's just that obvious...

Infidelity is one of the biggest problems in relationships, behind money problems. Because being in love makes us so vulnerable, being cheated on is very painful. It's better to be aware of the signs and be honest with yourself from the beginning rather than let yourself fall into the trap of falling for a guy, and then falling for all his lies.

(Disclaimer: Not all men lie, not all men cheat, and not all women are sweet innocents themselves. Nothing written or imagined written herein should be taken to construe such an opinion.)

Sign Number One: He Has A Lot Of Female Friends - And They're Jealous.

When you're out with him women come up and put their hands on him possessively and give you that little smug look. I don't need to describe that look to you, we all know what that look is, and we've all seen this scene play out at some point even if it was just on the movie screen. If this sort of thing happens when you're out with your boyfriend, note his reaction. Does he look scared or smug? Is he enjoying himself a little too much? More importantly, do he and this woman have that intangible intimate connection? If so, he may be a player. On the other hand, if he doesn't disengage himself and align himself with you then he's just a jerk.

Sign Number Two: He Describes Himself As A 'Ladies Man' or 'Lady Killer' Or Something Equally Obnoxious.

Believe it or not, many men who cheat are dumb enough to telegraph the fact to their partners. If he often refers to himself as a ladies man, or is constantly proclaiming how much he loves the ladies, then there is a high chance that he will cheat when a willing one comes along, and an even higher chance that he'll be pretty horrid company most of the time.

Sign Number Three: His Friends Call Him 'Dog'

Whilst this might be a term of fraternal affection in many cases and cultures, be aware that this term carries with it other connotations which are not lost upon the males who use it. A fellow who beds many ladies and keeps them on the go is often the subject of great admiration by his peers, and the term 'dog' is traditionally applied to such a man. This fellow will find himself rewarded with free alcohol, hearty back slaps, and perhaps even several high fives when tales of his exploits are told. Unfortunately for women, other ladies tend not to be so supportive of them if they sleep around. Life's just full of strange ironies, isn't it?

Sign Number Four: You're Not Good Enough For Him

Seriously. This is a very important clue. Feeling that you're not good enough for him means that you feel bad about yourself. It's one thing if this issue stems from any self esteem issues you may have, but it is quite another if it is the result of the way he treats you.

This is sometimes the a sign of a cheater, but it's always the sign of someone you'd be better off without. Common techniques for making a woman feel bad involve criticizing her looks, calling her fat, suggesting she could lose a few pounds, or often insinuating that she is stupid. If he does any of these things, run, run away.

The only caveat I would put on this advice is that sometimes women feel bad about themselves without any help from outside sources. Try to look at the situation objectively. Is he engaging in destructive interaction with you? Are your feelings based on negative self talk, or is he actively trying to keep you down by treating you like a lesser person than he? In the first instance, some counseling may be in order, in the second, a break up.

Sign Number Five: Gut Instinct

Have a funny feeling in your tummy when it comes to him? Take some Tums, and if it's still there once they've taken effect, chances are that your body is trying to tell you something. Most women who haver been involved with cheating men say afterwards that they had a feeling something was wrong. You shouldn't necessarily leave him because you have a feeling something isn't right, but you should be aware and alert for other signs.

More from Hope at Hope Alexander

Questions & Answers


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      • profile image

        Sane Man 5 years ago

        There are different types of players, some of them are just charming/good looking and naturally gifted with women, their actions are basically just because they can, and they can't help themselves, like a child in a sweet shop who's been told he can try every sweet, would he try just one? This type of player is extremely rare though. The most common type is the insecure guy/loser guy with a lot of emotional 'issues'. Issues such as low self esteem, pride issues, no moral compass, repressed fear, not receiving unconditional love as a child, misogynistic world view, self centered, narcissistic, vain, heartbreak from a previous relationship, need for control, ect, or in some extreme cases they may even have a personallity disorder. Realistically the potential reasons players exist and behave the way they do is endless. These issues will be obscured from view because the player will appear confident or cocky or whatever, but trust me the players I know well are extremey insecure but hide behind a false bravado they try and create. The worst offenders, it's like almost everything they say or do is an attempt to make themselves appear impressive when judged by the framework of their belief system. A belief system that only losers and insecure people subscribe to (or teenagers who are young in life and don't know what matters haha. sorry), eg. the more women you shag the more impressive you are and the higher your worth is, the bigger muscles you have, the more money you have, better car, better job, the more you can drink etc etc etc, and of course because most of them don't have these things they act like complete douche bags to women to make themselve feel beter.

        Anyway, there is one thing that all players share, regardless of their type, and it's the number 1 sign that you women should look out for, they are always selfish and put themselves first most of the time. Self preservation and self gratificaion is their modus operandi, don't ever forget that, and to hide this and hide the fact that they don't genuinely care about you, they will get you with sweet talk, compliments, flirting, making themselves look good etc.

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        Thomas Erwin 6 years ago

        I am a client of -- for the simple fact -- that this spellcastor is very very good. Professional, accurate, sincere and very experienced. his lovespell wonderful

        Thomas Erwin, Birmingham

      • profile image

        g. 6 years ago

        i had a wonderfull boyfriend at first ..he was so sweet..and was very good to me..but then everything changed..he had never looked at another woman in front of me ..and then i started noticing he was doing it..i think it is very rude to do that infront of your girlfriend..and then he started looking at porn a little too much...and hiding i am stupid..and then when i would call him he would not answer or call back..again rude..and doesn't come home from work and spend time with me and his daughter ..when he is supposed to..he doesn't take us anywhere ever and does nothing with us..i found texts from girls in his phone ..and he swears he is so against cheating ..and says ..they are girls i work but i have that gutt felling he has cheated..i don't trust him at all..and he does make me feel bad about his actions...he sneaks of on me all the time...i can't take this anymore...

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        Katie 7 years ago

        My 17 year old boyfriend did used to be a player, he used, played, cheated, whatever, but then after dating him for 8 months he treats me so much better, also lets me have his phone and if he gets a test he doesn't care if I see it etc..., he really is different now, in the begining of us dating he acted just like that! and there was a lot of drama, but I put up with it and now he tells all his friends how i chnaged him, how he intended, even tried to stay a player but i changed him without even trying. He says he loves me, and were going to move out together and everything, but because of how he used to be a player im scared to love him completely, and a player will once and awhile take a timeout , but will he always return to the game??

      • profile image

        candy 7 years ago

        i have been with this gup for almost 5 months only.

        He lied at the beginning and i forgive and try to forget.Secondly, he did again....i almost lost my patience....eventually i caught him with other woman...he never admitted. Worst still he blame me and told me it was all my fault why he did that.

        He is totally when i asked to break..he insulted me and can giving a compliment about the new gf to me thou he supposed to say sorry. He is NOT. For me, player is mental disorder..

        I pray to God, there is a price to be pay.AMEN

      • profile image

        lovemyselffirst 7 years ago

        I have been married for only 5 months and before we got married are so called relationship. My husband is 20 yrs older then me an make sure I know tht he's smarter then me. I'm with him because? Yes I really don't no any more. He has given me and done nuthin 4 me. He gets in his moods wen he doesn't WANt 2 call are tex. I do bring this 2 his knowledge but makes no effort of makin are marriage better. Everything is a joke m2 him. He Makes no time 4 me. I use 2 question if he's cheating but I know he's not (I think) were always together,we call off work n stay home n so nothing. I jus dnt know wht 2 do. He says tht he's happy so wht am I 2 think r do. I'm young and I still hav the rest of my life. Wht am I 2 do?

      • profile image

        RAYNARAY 7 years ago

        We need to remember that respect is earned not just given. We need to first respect ourselves if we want people to respect us. Also, good things come to those who wait patiently, not to those who rush right in!

        Easy come and easy go! If you want an "A" on the test you must study first. Ladies we are enabling the men to be "dogs"!!! We do have options to say, " yay or nay".

        So if you choose to enable them then don't complain after. A good relationship takes time to cannot possibly know someone well enough over night , a week or even a month! Also, think about your actions! Are your actions attracting "DOGS"? Men can only be "DOGS" if we let them. ..if you know what I mean! Women have the power and need to remember to use it wisely! Aloha

      • profile image

        Adrianne 7 years ago

        I'm so upset right now. There is a girl who I always got a terrible vibe around, just that pit in my stomach, I could tell she liked my boyfriend and gave me a really rude cold vibe. This has been happening for over a year, and since my boyfriend are still dating, she's always coming into his shop she doesn't seem to mind if I'm there and parades herself in his shop. I feel like i can't trust him and my anger is towards him as well but for some reason I have this burning rage if I see her. I want to let go, I'm moving to another country soon, so my problem is solved there. But it still upsets me that someone would be disrespectful like that

      • profile image

        Adrianne 7 years ago

        I'm so upset right now.

      • profile image

        prettyreckless 7 years ago

        It's hard to find a good guy these days...same way go for guys too...nowadays its all about games. I don't want to play bc its not worth it and I don't want to get hurt but I will be aware of these signs bc they are pretty accurate

      • profile image

        Shana 7 years ago

        Love ur comment about raising without a mother

      • profile image

        keepittous 7 years ago

        I will make it simple. Players are not players intentionally or purposely set out to hurt a woman. Seriously no guy is that malicious or heartless unless they were raised with out a mother. Of course there is always the thrill of the chase and seeing if you can win that untouchable girl over. However women are the same way..always wanting what you can't's called desire. Then once you have what you want you lose interest and want the next thing you cant's all about creating a desire. So here is my take...The longer you don't give in the longer the desire..However you don't want to make him desire you to much or that is creepy and may fall in the stalker category. Now once you are ready to give him a chance you want to keep him under your spell don’t you…well this is not rocket science. This is what you need to do ..however it will have to wait until tomorrow’s late and I am going to bed now..

      • profile image

        Nancy  7 years ago

        I'm finally learning to play their's taking me a long time, but i'm learning... unfortunately - pay back is a bitch! And it feels great to be in the driver seat for once.

      • profile image

        Nathan 7 years ago

        Well ladies, for any of you who come across my comment remember this, sometimes it's you who makes the mistake of falling for that particular scumbag. Maybe instead of looking up posts like, "What are signs of a player?" you should be looking up posts like "What are signs of a true boyfriend."

        A true boyfriend will still be there even if all odds are against him and you. Those odds being your family hating him, his family hating you, problems with friends, personal issues, work issues, no matter what he will always be there for you.

        Real men, respectful men, men that will walk across a broken battlefield to fix a woman's heart are still out there. Sometimes young women, and young men fall into the category of hooking up with losers. All it really takes in a relationship is caring for the other person.

        My parent(single and all I got) hates my girlfriend. I've dealt with all of the bullshit. I faced the situation head on, but I never lost site of her. Through all of the bad I've always been there. When her abusive ex fiancé came to pick up his stuff from her house I was there.

        The more vulnerable a woman makes herself to give into assholes the more damage it does to the real men out there trying to make a difference. Please keep that in mind ladies.

      • profile image

        Lily 7 years ago

        Everywhere is liar and cheater how can find an honest man on this world? I met a French cheater,name Max from Rochester US. He always said to me he loved me so much, and i found out he was a cheater and liar. After that I can not trust in anybody. I am afraid of being hurt and be cheated on again.

      • Riptide profile image

        Riptide 7 years ago from Staatsburg

        This is very good advice, unfortunately love makes blind and we often don't see the signs until after the fact. Hopefuly your post though will open some eyes.

      • profile image

        feels bad 7 years ago

        i have z bf. i realli like him but he always makes me feel bad for like evrything! tells me stop being shy when im around his friends. told me i looked fat in a pic a had on my phone. tells me im the onlyy one for him. so i agreed to make him not made cuz i feel like i do like him. he doesn't like my friends and tells me not to hangout with them. but he kisses me in front of people and introduces me as his girlfriend to everyone. so idk its just kinda confusing

      • profile image

        slapped 7 years ago

        I met guys atleast had 3 bf's. the first one cheated, the 2nd one I'm aware of his lifestyle and how many girls she dated. lastly now i fell in love with a moron whom I thought will comfort me. He borrowed money from me and played with my emotion. It sucks till one morning I texted him and a girl claiming to be her girl friend as k who I am. I was slapped deep within me knowing I was betrayed. damn!

      • profile image

        Patricia 7 years ago

        And another thing is they don't change ss they get older.

        I'm just trying to free myself from a relationship with a 60 year-old player. They know how to charm whatever their age.

        I hate it when they tell you that you are different and special and all of a sudden they're unavailable or gone.

      • profile image

        wotevr 8 years ago

        gud one..

        he was a cheater and most of the sighns match..

      • profile image

        idk anymore 8 years ago

        ELO?.. ha ha um ya this thing was really helpful but.. im just cerious well im almost fifteen and theres a guy ive known for a long time since ive been 5? But here's the thing he's never really talked to me. But yet ik he likes me just by the way he stares, his comments to other people about me,and just by the way he acts it's "obvious"... yet i still wonder why he has not talked to me?! I mean he told my granfather to say hi to me and he says bye? Scratch that i say bye and he gives the sup nod u know the eyebrows raised, half smile, tilt of chin upward heck he's a fan of it on facebook! Anyways is he playing the game you want me come and get it, cause im here babe and while ur at it ill through a couple of commpliments at u so u don't run out on the game ;) or?.. the one im chosing to believe...the shy guy that really doesn't know what to do. May i mind u he's always been shy well the side ive seen it im shy ik i may come across as weird at times but thats just beacause idk how to act.. i like u? UM yep. Any advise would be very helpful About him- always keeps me wondering but here are some things im positive about! he told somebody i had nice legs, asked so so if i date and then said i like her.., looks nervious at times but cant tell for sure, stares at me a lot, always looks lonely at parties,and much much more....and theres other sides that i cant really explane but ya and his friends don't look all that good.. i hope this was helpful thx! please any advice is really appreatiated. last seen at teekie luow.

      • profile image

        Tired of being used 8 years ago

        I totally agree with ME. I dated a guy who lied to me for 12 months about being a player. He would always tell me I was the only one and he loved spending time with me. But he was always busy with his daughter. ha. ha. I met him on the first weekend of Jan 2009 and he texted me on Dec 30 2009 to tell me he had been seeing someone for sometime and he wouldn't be contacting me anymore. He is the bottom of scum of the earth. Actually, he doesn't deserve that good of a title. I'm the lucky one. I'm sure his relationship won't last. He lied to me and her, so again I'm the lucky one. Mr. Right is still out there for me. Good Luck to all who are still looking. There's scum and the good ones.

      • profile image

        Fay 8 years ago

        I went out with a guy for 18 months ( a married man), said his marriage was almost over, said he loved me every minute of the day, I was so taken in that I thought this was for real. Then he stopped contact with me just like that over night, we worked together so it was pretty hard to avoid each other, said he could no longer do it any more to his wife. Fair enough but speak to me and tell me properly, lets just stay friends but he could not do that, only to discover that he was also cheating on me with another girl from work and now he's on his third girl from work and he's getting away with this. God I fell for this bloke so bad that it has taught me a lesson. I have been through the worst year of my life trying to get over it. What makes a bloke act like this, one minute he loves you desperately the next he loves someone else. Are they sad or just plain losers in life.

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        Jena 8 years ago

        This sounds like the man I've dated for 5 years, he would shut off his cell phone at night and take it to the bathroom with him even! The thing never left his side, I would try to leave but he would beg me to stay but in my stomach I knew something wasn't right, he always had excuses for where he was always! Didn't want me to attend everything with him well women aren't invited! What are you kidding me! I'm happier now!

      • profile image

        i was a victim xD 8 years ago

        Yup, players are JUST AS DESCRIBED! The guy I liked a lot was a player and I never felt like I was good enough for him. But now this other guy is flirting openly with me and I think he's a player too.


      • profile image

        guys are pigs! 8 years ago

        i like the gut feeling instint sign b/c girls: if you have that bad feeling when you talk to him it means stay away b/c he is NO GOOD! trust me always go with your gut its usually right!

      • Ralph Braddock profile image

        Ralph Braddock 9 years ago

        I would just like to say that I appreciate the disclaimer.  I have a similar abhorrence not only for guys who use girls in a relationship but also guys who cheat on a girl they are dating if things aren't going well instead of talking to her about it.  I especially appreciate the disclaimer because usually (but not always) the girls who talk to me about guys having their own agenda are unaccountable and materialistic.

      • profile image

        high school crush 9 years ago

        Some can appear to be simply 'nice guys,' but it's what they DON'T TELL YOU that signals a problem. They can't admit to ever being wrong, and everything is always on their timetable and their agenda. Don't walk away---RUN AS FAR AS YOUR LEGS WILL TAKE YOU. THESE GUYS ARE TOXIC. THEY SEE WOMEN AS A CATEGORY NOT AS FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS. It's truly sad.

      • profile image

        airplane 9 years ago

        i am from guatemala, this commentarie is really nice, i said is nice for frustrated guys, those who try to be a venusian artist, those are the ones who makes the difference with women. sorry guys, it will be better if you do something different

      • profile image

        Veronica 9 years ago

        I agree with you "Me" im in the same boat oh well not anymore

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        Tia  9 years ago

        I have a lot of "player", friends and they all have these qualities in them and they are complete losers and they have been doing it for ages. Most guys are complete DOGS.

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        me 9 years ago

        I have been going with a gentleman for about 8 months and all of a sudden he is gone, ,I think there is a lot more to men cheating, then those 5 listed, such as he won't talk to you, he goes away for week ends with out telling you, Always has excuses and doesn't have time for you. most of the men now days make me quite sick , because they are not men, they are scavengers of the world.

      • profile image

        Mike Paahana 10 years ago

        u guys so stupid i would never let on that im cheating i just make up some kine of bs

      • J D Murrah profile image

        J D Murrah 10 years ago from Refugee from Shoreacres, Texas

        I liked your take on this topic.


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