Jeff is a 65-year old American widower seeking friendship and love on senior citizen internet dating websites.
Don't Blame the Internet Dating Sites for Seniors' Failure to Connect
Seniors' dating shares a lot in common with teenagers' dating.
Of utmost importance to seniors and teens—as in all age brackets—is personal appearance and sexual attractiveness. Next in desirability is social status and financial wealth. Add in the ability to to make people smile or laugh, plus carry on an interesting discussion and tell lively stories, and you have pretty much every important asset that other people will find attractive in a potential date and mate!
You will notice that the above personal abilities can only partially be conveyed by an internet dating website's information on potential matches. Much of this information is never provided by the potential dating matches.
Probably the most important information is provided by one (or more) personal photographs of the matches' personal appearance and sexual attractiveness. Depending on the photo's quality and how recently it was taken, these images can impart a lot of appearance information about potential matches.
Social status can only be inferred, but is probably correlated with (1) a person's current or previous employment and (2) furthest advancement in their formal education (such as high school diploma, associate's degree, bachelor's degree, master's degree and doctoral degree). Occasionally, a match will state that they are the Secretary/Treasurer of the local Softball League or the President of the County Ditch Beautification Association, but this type of useful information is usually missing.
Financial wherewithal can also be inferred by a match's (1) current or recent employment and (2) by their highest educational attainment. But this can be pretty ambiguous and can be seriously inaccurate. For example, I have a master's degree, but every month I pay the mortgage by selling the pelts of the dead animals that my cats abandon by my front door.
Finally, the ability to make the opposite sex smile or laugh is over-rated by everyone, in my opinion. For example, senior citizen women matches almost all claim that a man should have a great sense of humor. But every day, I email out jokes to my matches that I have memorized from my well-worn old copy of Penthouse Magazine's Naughty Jokes for Hip Couples and I almost never get a positive reply from my female correspondents. Clearly, a sense of humor is over-rated by women!
Read More From Pairedlife
Where Senior Dating is Actually Different than High School
In high school, teenagers can be pretty certain that their dates are not suffering from debilitating diseases or disabling health conditions. (Plus, as television shows usually teach us, when younger people do have disabilities they always end up in wheelchairs ... so they can be easily recognized and shunned.) But senior citizens can be suffering from everything from hangnails to terminal cancer and it doesn't usually show up in photographs! A potential senior match must be carefully questioned for any sign of disease, deformity or disability.
Sex and the Single Senior
There are several ways that senior citizen sex differs from high school and college sex. Some we don't need to discuss (thank heavens!), but a couple of distinctions should be made.
First of all, the personal appearance of a potential match is actually not so important as it was back in your teens, twenties and thirties. Remember, menopause begins in American women at the average age of 51-years old. Both women and men older than 51 years of age, should not be worried about how attractive and intelligent their next offspring will be! If you are older than 51, you should not be having any more children! Your next senior boyfriend or girlfriend may be a genetic mess - or as homely as a goat - but that will have no effect on you or your very unlikely future offspring. So, relax about your matches' appearance, as finding a good-hearted and interesting person is the most important quality about your senior citizen matches!
As long as he or she don't appear to be a toothless alcoholic derelict ... or look weird enough to terrify young children ... you should date whoever appeals to you in other ways! Remember the nerdy boy or girl you liked in high school, but couldn't date because you were afraid everyone would mock you? Well, social pressures or fear of genetic mutations shouldn't scare you now. You can date whoever the hell you want to!
The second point that needs to be made about senior citizen dating sex is that you shouldn't get your expectations too high! Neither of you are 16, 26 or 36 anymore. Older age has its advantages but, sadly, it also has its disadvantages.
For men, this means that you aren't dating those hard-bodied 16-year old (or 26-year old) girls any more. The women you have received as matches have probably birthed and raised one or more children, plus older aged human bodies simply sag with gravity over the years. (That's why clothes were invented.) Your female match has had a lifetime of interesting experiences, but one of her experiences has been living many years on an Earth with 1G of constant gravity. Few women can realistically have hard, shapely bodies after age 50, so be understanding and accept that fact. No woman likes a rude, complaining jackass—so don't be that guy!
For women, this means that you aren't dating those hard-bodied 16-year old (or 26-year old) boys any more. The men you have received as matches have probably made and raised (well, at least, he may have supervised) one or more children, plus older aged bodies simply sag with gravity over the years. (That's why clothes were invented.) Men often suffer the unwanted debility of vanishing head hair, too. (That's why hats were invented.) Your male match has had a lifetime of interesting experiences, but one of his experiences has been many years of living on Earth with 1G of constant gravity. Few men can realistically have hard, taut bodies after age 60, so be understanding and accept that fact. No man likes a rude, complaining jackass—so don't be that woman!
Sexually, your male match may also have another sexual problem that he will probably be reluctant to discuss with any woman: male erectile dysfunction. Unfortunately, as men get older, their masculine equipment probably won't work as well—nor as often—as it used to work. This has several causes, such as simply being elderly, diabetes, prostate problems, etc. In fact, according to this 2007 study by three medical researchers, about 34.6% of men age 40–59, 71.2% of men age 60–69 and 85.0% of men age 70 and older, suffer from occasional, frequent or continuous erectile dysfunction problems. Obviously, older men can still perform many sexual acts, but it is unrealistic to expect older men to always be performing at their peak and pinnacle!
- Senior Citizen Dating Is Like High School Dating
Do you remember your high school and college dating experiences with fondness? After the age of 60, you can relive your high school dating action on internet dating websites for senior citizens!
- A Widower's Commentary on Internet Dating
I have now received over 1,360 female matches from the internet dating sites, SilverSingles.com and Match.com. Although the two websites operate in similar ways, there is a single advantage and a single disadvantage to internet dating that neither da
- "No Drama Wanted" Relationships
A common feature in almost 1,800 female matches on two American internet dating sites is the women's demand, "No Drama" or "No Drama Wanted". This is probably a common demand from men on dating services, also. What does "No Drama" really mean and how