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The Perks of Dating a Shorter Man

Andrea has a background in Myers-Briggs and Western astrology. She mostly writes about relationships.

I ended up with someone who is the exact same height as me, so let me tell you: go for a shorter man. I'm happy, I'm married, and things are going pretty groovy.

I ended up with someone who is the exact same height as me, so let me tell you: go for a shorter man. I'm happy, I'm married, and things are going pretty groovy.

Don't Fixate on Height So Much

Let’s face it. There is way too much preference for height when it comes to dating. A large percentage of women refuse to date a man who is shorter than them. That’s pretty dumb, so get rid of the unnecessary stigma.

I ended up with someone who is the exact same height as me, so let me tell you: go for a shorter man. I’m happy, I’m married, and things are going pretty groovy.

I have a long list of reasons why you might want to try dating that cute, shorter man.

Check Your Old Notions at the Door

Just a reminder before we get to the list: tall isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be. Women tend to prefer taller guys — they like the comfort of walking into a room with a towering Adonis. It’s nice to hide behind someone who is tall — it comes with some physical security. Heck, sometimes it’s nice to be picked up, but other than that, why are we so height conscious? Because of the way our ancestors picked mates? Why should that matter? Why is this a norm that hasn’t been sufficiently challenged? A lot of women say they refuse to date someone shorter than them as if that has meaning.

Don’t make things awkward over who gets to be in the relationship. Don’t let prehistoric ideas about dating govern your choices. If you like a short guy, don’t make a big deal out of his height — and definitely don’t make height a deal-breaker.

You should look for a partner for other qualities than height. He should be able to connect with you, make you laugh, and impress you to some degree. I wouldn’t change my person out for anyone — and he just happened to be the same exact height.

17 Perks of Dating a Shorter Man

1. Shorter men tend to be more attentive to your needs, he doesn’t try to act like a god, and he is likely more focused.

2. It’ll be nice that in a pinch you can wear his jeans. With a shorter partner, you may have just expanded your wardrobe a touch.

3. You likely will eat about the same food portions — of course, his portion sizes could be bigger or smaller. But it’s nice to have an idea of how much food he’ll want for dinner that way you two cook the right amount.

4. My husband and I like the same preferences for the driver's seat. I never have to adjust my seat after he drives my car.

5. We can make decisions about what furniture to buy and not have to worry about one of us getting eaten up by the couch. It’s nice when you’re at eye level. It’s nice when you have the same preferences for when your feet hit the floor.

6. Certain things are a lot easier when he is shorter or closer to your height. For example, it’ll make it easier to be dance partners if your heights are closer. You’ll also find it’s easier to cuddle. It gives you more options, so to speak.

7. Short men who approach you and want to date you are often better at keeping commitments. They tend to be confident, that’s why he approached you. Studies actually show shorter men tend to stay in their marriages longer. (Study from New York University.)

8. It makes it easier to walk at the same pace. If you go on a long walk, it might get tiring for your long-legged friend. Also, sharing an umbrella is far easier when you’re dimensionally on the same plane.

9. You won’t have to fight over legroom. You’ll never get the excuse that he should have that one nice seat on the plane because of his legs. You’ll pick whatever seats the two of you like.

On that note, I went on a date once with a tall man, and he wanted a very certain seat in the movie theater because of his long legs. What was frustrating is that I love to watch movies from the center, but because of his preference we watched it from a crooked angle. As much as I liked the guy, now that we’re not dating, I have no problem complaining about this. ;)


10. Not only can you wear your boyfriend’s jeans if he is closer to your height, but also his T-shirts. I know this is basically the same point I made higher up on the list… but I just want to bring up that once just for fun I wore my not-yet-husband’s jeans just to see how long it would take before he noticed. He didn’t. I had to tell him. I don’t know why this was fun for me — but it was.

11. Also, not only have researchers discovered that shorter men tend to stay in their marriages longer, they also tend to have healthier lives. A shorter man will likely live longer. So essentially, you have more of an investment in a shorter man. Granted, I don’t know how much variance there is in these studies — so don’t get too excited here and start bashing the tall folks. Moral of the story: tall people can have long lives and long marriages too. (We’re just trying to give short men the love they deserve, ya dig?)

Side note: Ashley Madison did do a survey that found men 5'10 and taller were twice as more likely to cheat.

12. Other perks? You won’t have to strain your neck for a kiss with someone who is a foot taller than you. It might make kissing easier.

13. And if you are a little taller than him, you might feel like a model standing next to him, especially if you’re in heels. Who doesn’t want to feel like they’re gorgeous?

14. Shorter men tend to be more understanding. They know what it’s like to be looked over for petty and trivial things. He’ll get it when you’re not feeling your best and stare in the mirror and see a zit factory about to find the Industrial Revolution (girl, clean your face ASAP.)

15. You both need a ladder to get to places. He likely has a ladder. He also won’t put things out of reach. It’ll be nice not to have to ask for him to bring something down because he put it up too high. Again, you’ll be on the same plane of reality. You’ll both rely on ladders at the same percentage.

16. He’ll never use your head as an armrest. Why do tall men do that? Definitely not my favorite form of flirting. My head is not for your cup.

17. Also, he likely has a better perspective all around. Sometimes when you have tall genes, you also have a conceited god complex. Shorter men are more practical, loving, and according to these random studies and surveys — they’re better for the long term.

Stop Inventing Fears About Shorter Dates

So if you have an obsession with tall men and still can’t find someone, I have some advice for you. Consider that you might be limiting your choices. Start thinking about some of the shorter men who do impress you but maybe didn’t fit your wacky height goal. Give him a chance, especially if height was the reason that held you back.

Heck, I recommend you try dating someone tall and someone short in this lifetime. See what you like, figure these things out for yourself. It’s fun to see what happens in different relationships. It’s nice to know that when you date someone new it won’t be the same old song and dance, you’ve got a whole new person to study and figure out. I know a lot of women who worry they haven’t met the right guy and wonder where do you find him? Change your perspective. He might be closer than you think.

So if you’ve never dated someone short and are still looking for Mr. Right — date someone short, stat.

Also, every woman I know in my own personal circle that has ended up with a shorter man for the long term has said that she’s very happy. They don’t regret who they fell in love with. Those ladies found someone that cared about their needs. Some of those women even recommended to me to date someone shorter.

So now I’m sharing their sage advice.

Again, if you find someone who you like and you’re fretting over height — stop. No one cares. Dating and getting all focused on height is pretty stupid.

© 2020 Andrea Lawrence