The Dating Bait Bucket: Baits and Lures

Updated on August 23, 2016
H Andelsmen profile image

H. Andelsmen realized her girlfriends were asking advice, often, because she herself has been through so much, so she decided to share.

Types of Bait

Basically there are two types of bait: natural bait and artificial bait. One can say this a lot like people, some are natural and real, and some are fake as muck. Natural baits are things like worms, insects or shrimp and can be alive or dead. Artificial baits can be plastic or rubber versions of natural baits or they can be lures, which are designed to present a movement or to attract. Enough technicalities, how does this relate to dating? Well, let me tell you.

Natural Bait

When we are dating, there are plenty of instances of when we bait each other. What we must learn is how to determine when we are being baited, when we are being lured, and how to react. One chooses what type of bait to use based on what type of fish they are trying to catch.

What I consider natural bait, is flirting. Bait after all is a substance on the end of a hook. As long as the other party is receptive and participating, it happens naturally, is unforced, and after a while it dies out or is no longer usable. Most of us can tell when someone is flirting with us and we choose how we react based on several factors. Whether we find them attractive, if they are funny, or we are just a big flirt ourselves.

Now, let's break this down a little further, specifically by the previously identified types of fisherman.

The Commercial Fisherman we know is the guy fishing for his livelihood. He is dedicated and dependable. His flirting will be cautious and unaggressive. It will be subtle, yet obvious. He is not afraid to try and he is loyal to what works. He will spread a wide net to ensure he gets a catch. He uses bait he knows will work and he is always fishing for the same type of fish.

The Recreational Fisherman is the guy fishing for the simple joy of it. He is the fun loving adventurous guy. His flirting will be swift and little more risqué. It will be obvious and contagious. He loves to try and he will try a variety of ways. He may tell you, "One time this girl..." He will cast anywhere, anytime. He will change his bait often until he finds what they are biting.

The Sports Fisherman is the guy who fishes for the trophies. He is boastful and masterful. His flirting will be direct and unique. It will be delightful and irresistible. This could be his profession, but it won't be from the big haul, it from the big prize fish. The struggle is real. If he wants you, he will get you. He may say, "I've always dated beautiful women." His buddies will worship him and they always want him as their wingman.

We will all react differently to each, but what we must remember is that this is all bait. To get us hooked. Just never forget what kind of fisherman you are dealing with and who they really are. Don't be distracted by what they are dangling out there.

Daters Be Aware

Artificial Bait

Artificial bait is manmade. Plastic replicas of natural bait and things designed to attract attention through movement and flash. To lure. There are a vast array of lures. But what I am going to talk about is how to identify it is in fact a lure. Sometimes it isn't as apparent as that used car salesman on the commercial trying to lure you with a low price or a low interest rate for a limited amount of time.

Sometimes we lure by using movement or actions. This is identifiable through body language, touch, or what is performed. You shake hands and there is a lingering shake. If they have their arms crossed while talking to you, they are undecided and not open to you just yet. Their voice may be tender and gentle while talking to you if they are trying to persuade you.

Now let me show how each type of fisherman may use movement based lures.

The Commercial Fisherman is a simple, salt of the earth type man. He will keep eye contact and offer a warm smile. He will not touch you physically unless you initiate. He could be a bit bashful and may even blush. His actions are genuine. His flirting will be verbal, his body language will be open but nonaggressive. He will turn to face you and his arms will be at sides or he may lean back against something. His voice will be steady and have a low tone. He will say things like, "It has taken me a while to get the nerve up to talk to you."

The Recreational Fisherman is carefree and spontaneous. He will come up to you. He will smile and make sure you see him. He may put two hands on your one hand when he shakes it. His flirting will both verbal, physical, and aggressive. He may come out of nowhere and grab your arm in a crowd. As your speaking he may rub your hair as he is complimenting it. He will be in your face, his arm may end up on the back of your chair as he is leaned into you. His voice may be a little rushed and his tone is heightened. He will say things like, "I have this thing I have to do, but I want you to make some time for me."

The Sports Fisherman seeks acknowledgement. He will come to you as well. He is smiling and laughing and purposefully noticing. He will take action and grab you by the hand and lead you. His flirting is verbal, physical, aggresive, and tactful. He is the guy who will come up in the club and grab your foot and caress your ankle. He will put his arm around your back and pull you into him. His voice will be steady, calm and persuasive and his tone will be low. He will have you do most of the talking, but he will lead you into it without you realizing it. He will say things like, "I am going to boo you up."

Here is how each type of fisherman may use flash based lures .

The Commercial Fisherman is by nature, non-flashy. But where he will show some flash is in his gestures to you. He will be consistent. His flashy flirt will be animated kissy faces. He may say, "I think we look really good together."

The Recreational Fisherman is all flash. He will come up at the club and say, "Let's go dance." Then he will be a great dancer. He will be dressed well. His flashy flirt will be vocal and he will have you on a date before you know it and it will not be a meet and greet at the coffee shop, it will be a trip or an event. He may say, "Everybody is looking at us, we are such a good looking couple."

The Sports Fisherman is selectively flashy. His flash is in his charm. He seeks the prize. He will entertain you and make you feel on top of the world. His flashy flirt will be embellishments. If you are at a bar, he will buy you and your girlfriends drinks all night. He too will have you on a date before you know it, but it will be an unforgettable one. He will have it planned out based on something of interest to you. He will say, "Next time, we are going to do this..."

Bite or Not to Bite

Nobody can tell us when we should bite and when we shouldn't. But what we can do is educate ourselves about the type of person we are dealing based the type of bait they are dangling in front of us. Deciphering intent is key. Intent of natural bait is to catch utilizing realness. Intent of artificial bait is to lure you based on presenting the illusion of being real. Know the difference.

© 2016 HanDelsmen

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