Lanablackmoor has a degree in psychology and personal experience with the topic.
Let's face it—online dating is hard no matter who you are. For lesbians and bisexual women interested in dating other women, finding the right person online is even more difficult. In a world catered to straight couples, finding a safe place for online lesbian dating can feel like looking for a needle in a haystack. Fortunately, these sites have a lot to offer women seeking women online.
Disclaimer: The online dating websites mentioned in this article are intended for use by mature adults only. The author makes no claim for the safety of any individual website and I have not been sponsored by any of these websites. This article contains personal opinions and experience. Use at your own discretion.
The Top 6 Best Lesbian Dating Sites
- OkCupid for Lesbians
- Match.com for Lesbians
1. OkCupid for Lesbians
OkCupid is by far one of the most gay- and lesbian-friendly dating sites out there. While this website is not specifically geared towards lesbians, it is tailored to provide a safe and comfortable online experience for LGBT users.
OkCupid even allows users to choose from a variety of gender markers, going beyond the usual dating site binary of male and female. Gender identity options include cis woman, genderfluid, genderqueer, androgynous, transfeminine, and bigender, among others.
In addition to gay, straight, and bisexual, you can also list your orientation as asexual, demisexual, homoflexible, lesbian, queer, and more. These options demonstrate the overall atmosphere of OkCupid, which places an emphasis on welcoming everyone. While sites like Match are open to gay and lesbian users, it's easy to feel like an afterthought. OkCupid makes a legitimate effort to accommodate its LGBT users.
One of the main reasons lesbians are hesitant to use more mainstream dating websites is, understandably, being a minority in the midst of a heterosexual dating community. From couples trolling lesbian and bisexual profiles to offer unsolicited encounters to outright harassment, there are a variety of issues that come with using a mainstream dating site.
Fortunately, OkCupid has heard us and responded! Any user can choose not to see or be seen by straight people. It's as simple as checking off a box in your profile settings, and you do not have to be a paid A-list user to use this feature. This means that you will only be seen by other people who have marked a non-straight orientation on their profiles, effectively creating a gay dating site within OkCupid.
Lesbotronic is one of the lesser-known lesbian dating sites, but it really has a lot to offer. Besides, who doesn't love the name? Lesbotronic is a free website, and I mean completely free. There are no premium options; what you see is what you get. With that convenience comes a rather dated web design, unfortunately.
This is not the Rolls-Royce of lesbian dating sites. If you can get past the lackluster user interface and often roundabout site directory, this is one of the hidden gems of online dating. The best part is Lesbotronic.com is 100-percent lesbian-owned and operated.
The downside of Lesbotronic is that you have to contact members through email. For this reason, I wouldn't recommend using your primary email for your Lesbotronic account. On the other hand, it does give the whole online dating process a more personal appeal. Matches are sorted based on compatibility between your profile information and hers.
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Another downside is that many of the profiles on Lesbotronic are inactive and there is no way to tell when a user was last online, which makes it difficult to tell if that heartfelt icebreaker you just typed up is just going to end up sitting in the bottom of someone's spam folder for the remainder of the time.
LDate is another one of those lesbian dating sites with a very dated layout (no pun intended). Despite the questionable layout, LDate is definitely not a scam site. It offers a reasonably secure member sign-up process, and as a member for several years, I can say that I've never received spam emails from them or their partners. Once you get past the front page, the user layout is very similar to PlentyOfFish and Match, offering a straightforward profile setup and match selection process.
The main downside of LDate is that many of the match options in its extensive search system are only offered to paid members. Free members have access to a limited search that makes it harder to find lesbians who match your interests and preferences.
The good news is that LDate, unlike Lesbotronic, allows you to sort users by their last login as well as distance and age. The "About My Match" section offers plenty of room for profile customization, and you can even add users to your favorites or block them if you never want to see their profiles in search again.
Looking for something casual rather than a long-term relationship? LesbianPersonals.com is more or less the lesbian version of Grindr, offering a vast user database second only to the likes of Match. Be warned that most of the profiles are very adult in nature, and this is probably not the website to visit if you're looking for a lasting connection.
Despite the name, the large user base also means that there are plenty of mixed-gender couples on LesbianPersonals, which means weeding through more spam messages than your average lesbian dating site.
5. Match.com for Lesbians
Despite—or possibly because of—the fact that Match is the largest and most popular dating site in the world, it is also one of the best sites for lesbian dating. Match has millions of members, and online dating is, after all, a numbers game. Unless you live in a large urban area, mainstream websites like Match and OkCupid are your best chance at casting a wide net and finding more lesbians in your area.
To find lesbians on Match, simply select "I am a woman looking for women" when conducting a search and mark your orientation as "lesbian" in your profile. Over the years, Match has made a significant effort to make the lgbt community feel welcome and accommodated on the site. From ads featuring happy lesbian couples who met through Match to search options geared towards finding and being seen by other lesbians, this is a great option to have in your lesbian dating arsenal.
PinkCupid.com is a boutique lesbian dating site, meaning that it makes up for what it lacks in millions of users by offering specialized lesbian dating. The features are what truly makes PinkCupid unique as a lesbian dating site. Free members get access to a large portion of the website, including the ability to sort members by looks, age, and distance. You can even search for identifiers like chapstick, soft butch, femme, and androgynous if you want to get specific.
What I find most appealing about PinkCupid is that, out of all the popular lesbian dating sites out there, this one seems to "get" women who love other women the most. Hopefully, as the site continues to gain recognition, the user base will grow, providing more options for lesbians in rural areas.
Always Be Safe and Cautious
These websites should offer all you need to get started in the wonderful world of online lesbian dating! Remember, no matter how safe a lesbian dating site seems, always exercise caution before meeting someone in person.