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The Anatomy of a Woman's Attraction

Updated on December 19, 2016

Although it has been known for women to be more verbal than men in communication, non-verbal signs still play a big part in successfully deciphering their thoughts. A glance or a stare can mean a thousand things. It can also mean she's simply checking you out.

Instances of females saying too many words can lead one astray from the true meaning of her message. A good listener is capable of filtering what's actually meant from what's not. For instance, the reason why the question "Is she attracted to me?" is often made a new thread in forums regarding relationships is because of the lack of understanding on how women act in dating.

The purpose of this article is to identify key points and cues on how women act, move and communicate their intentions through their body language. A word of caution before anything else though, this doesn't apply to every female.

Deciphering a Woman's Body Language

Compared to men, women can send 30 signals of different gestures and actions to show their attraction. This said, it's often not enough to rely on how they gaze at you or how their tone of voice changes.

The following are the most prominent signals that can help in determining what she's really thinking of.

By Veronidae (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons
By Veronidae (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons

1. Glances and Visual Fixation. In dating scenarios, eye contact is the first thing a man would usually check for to determine she's into him or not. Glancing occasionally or even getting visually fixated at her date can be a positive sign. On a man's perspective, this gaze can make him feel like he's the only person in the room.

In a public setting, repeated glances can indicate that she's inviting for an approach. Unfortunately, it can also be that she's looking at someone else in the crowd. It would be a lot easier if you're the only one in sight.

One of the oldest tricks in the book is to pretend to glance at your watch and see if she does the same. Women who are interested in men will most likely do the same in an attempt to figure out whether you're in a rush or have an appointment to get to. This, however, requires you to have a friend to see if she tracks your actions.

Fixation can be described by a woman who gazes at man she find appealing for long periods of time. And yet it can also be defined by frequent glances indicating an invite or an acknowledgement.

2. Preening. The term preening was coined to describe the process of a woman "cleaning" herself when she's close to someone she likes.

Preening includes but is not limited to the following:

  • She plays with her hair in a slow fashion or twirls it mindlessly.
  • She fidgets with her necklace or jewelries.
  • She puts on make-up or often vanishes to the ladies room to redo it to look her best.
  • She straightens her attire especially when she's about to do her approach.

By Poppy Love (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 or GFDL], via Wikimedia Commons
By Poppy Love (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 or GFDL], via Wikimedia Commons

3. Smiling and Laughing. One of the best indications of her interest is a smile or a comfortable laugh. A more obvious example is when she laughs at most of your comments that others don't usually find funny.

4. Facial Movements. What does her face say?

  • Dilated pupils are often observed from men and women who are attracted to their dates. It means that he or she is excited to have one another's company.
  • On a more serious note, sexually attracted women will most likely have flared nostrils. It is a very common sign of arousal.

By Shazeen Samad from Male`, Maldives (Flickr) [CC-BY-2.0], via Wikimedia Commons
By Shazeen Samad from Male`, Maldives (Flickr) [CC-BY-2.0], via Wikimedia Commons
  • Lip biting can mean two things; she's very nervous and biting it stops her lower lip from trembling or she's enticing you to notice her. Nibbling on the lower lip also usually implies her intent to showing you her attraction.
  • Lip licking. This is purely biological in nature. A woman's mouth becomes dry when she's excited. Licking her lips can either mean she's aroused or that she's consciously drawing your attention to them.
  • Hair flicking and hair tossing. In Biology, this has been described as a way for the female species to showcase their healthy physique. In addition to this, hair flicking exposes some erogenous areas of the body such as the neck and earlobes.
  • Head tilting can imply how relaxed and comfortable she feels when you're together.

By Michael Albov (Vienna Le Rouge) [CC-BY-2.0], via Wikimedia Commons
By Michael Albov (Vienna Le Rouge) [CC-BY-2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

5. Physical Signs. Not only will you be bombarded with facial signals, but her body will also start gesturing subtle ways to exhibit her allure.

  • Crossed legs while in a sitting position with the knees facing towards your direction means that her focus is on you.
  • Dangling the shoe on her feet is like the head tilt. It can subtlety communicate her level of comfort while being with you. Some have even described this action as a way to invite a man sexually.
  • Mirroring. There's a reason why dancing is regarded as a profoundly intimate act. Moving in unity with a partner signifies how both of you are connected or on the same wavelength.
  • Exposed wrists and palms is also a good sign. It's a suggestion for you to come closer.

By JustCurious at en.wikipedia (Transferred from en.wikipedia) [Public domain], from Wikimedia Commons
By JustCurious at en.wikipedia (Transferred from en.wikipedia) [Public domain], from Wikimedia Commons

6. Finger Movements. She can be stroking her wine glass or brushing her fingers on your shoulder. If she's initiated physical contact with you or has entered what is called your "personal bubble", then there's a big possibility she's interested.

Physical Signs of the Uninterested

These actions are mostly considered red flags. Generally, a woman who shows these signals isn't enjoying your company. So make sure to watch out for the following.

1. Speedy strokes of an item she is holding. It can be a clear sign of agitation.

2. Fidgeting her hair with quick or jerky motion. This can stand for being too nervous, embarrassed or even uncomfortable with your presence. Don't worry yet. Situations like this can be remedied by easing back a little and lessening the intensity of your advances to her.

3. Crossed arms. If she's not into you, she'll most likely be crossing her arms. Crossed arms can also indicate boredom.

Final Words

Understanding women can take years and years of research and firsthand experience. In fact, there is no exact science behind it. The bottom line is to be honest with your observations. There's no point on assessing her attraction to you if your judgment is being clouded by your own attraction to her.

Always remember to never assume. This can be fatal to attraction. Some men tend to overreact at women's gestures. Do not be one of those who no longer see things the way they exactly are for the desire to be successful in such a goal. Take the time to understand her personality and actions as it will save you a lot of effort on trying to figure out what she really means.

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