Rik is an engineer and history enthusiast who also enjoys contemplating and writing about relationships.
How to Show the Lady of Your Dreams You Really Love Her!
Women often find men’s behaviour exasperating and annoying. Ladies find smelly socks, breaking wind, drinking and lewd jokes really tedious. Fortunately, we men do have some attributes that women appreciate.
There are also things that we can do that most women crave. These include removing spiders from the bath, providing nurture and protection, mending things and doing intricate things in the bedroom (no, not fixing the bedside lamp!)
Women are wired up to find a mate and in many cases to raise a family. Your job is to convince the girl of your dreams that you are the right guy to do this.
Here are 10 ways to convince her of your true worth. But don’t just follow this list blindly. It is vital that you are honest and don’t try to deceive her. Women have built-in lie detectors and most women will smell male bullsh*t a mile off! Here's a brief rundown of the 10 things you'll learn:
- Cook her a meal
- Light a fire
- Like her girlfriends
- Take her shopping
- Invite her on a romantic weekend
- Clean her place
- Surprise her
- Give her presents
- Tell her you love her
- Make her laugh
1. Cook Her a Meal
Women appreciate a man that can not only cook but also look after all their needs. A great relationship builder is to ask her round for a meal or, if she already lives with you, offer to cook.
Don’t forget to put some thought into setting the table. Presentation is everything. Extras such as background music, lighting, flowers and candles are important in creating a romantic ambiance.
If you are not a wizard in the kitchen then consider something tasty that is pre-prepared or packaged or even a quality takeaway meal. Serve it up with a good wine. Remember, that it is not really about the quality of the food so much as the fact that she didn’t have to cook it in the first place!
Incidentally, if things go well you may find you can skip the planned dessert and offer yourself as the sweet instead. Think whipped cream, strawberries or some chocolate sauce!
2. Light a Fire
A real fire is amazingly relaxing and sitting in front of one can produce a deep state of calm and peace. The heat from the fire is also soothing and pleasurable. Lighting a fire for a woman is a way of demonstrating your wish to be her provider.
Once your fire is burning brightly, invite the love of your life to relax in front of it. Encourage her to put her feet up. Pamper her with her favourite drink.
If she is sleepy then encourage her to take a nap. You can be on hand to supply a blanket and cushions. But don’t forget that you need to make sure you have a proper working fireplace or a wood stove before lighting that gorgeous fire!
3. Like Her Girlfriends
Take an interest in her friends (the female ones) and their girly gossip. Hang out with your partner and her friends now and then (if invited).
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Politely admire their clothes and hair but don’t overdo the compliments, particularly if one of her mates is ‘hot’, or she’ll think you are hitting on her friend!
This may seem a bit of a chore but it will help you to understand how women think and behave and therefore help you to better understand your partner and her expectations.
4. Take Her Shopping
Take her out on a shopping trip and let her decide the agenda. OK, so this is really brave of you but this selfless act will demonstrate to her just how committed you are to the relationship.
Be warned however, that this may mean trailing around several department stores including the lingerie sections. Also, try not to be too interested in the underwear on display as she may find this creepy. Specifically avoid fingering knickers and bras!
Beware too the dreaded confrontation when she emerges from the changing rooms in something really unsettling like harem pants or dungarees, and asks brightly,
“So how do I look?” or “Does my bum look big in this?”
Be very careful how you reply! White lies are the best diplomatic approach. An honest answer may put your relationship back six months and result in a withdrawal of favours for the next few days!
5. Invite Her on a Romantic Weekend
Invite her on a romantic weekend. Chose a cosy, quiet hotel in a relaxing location, possibly with a pool or spa. Do avoid a family hotel/resort. All those kids may not be conducive to building a romantic atmosphere.
Make sure you already know each other pretty well before the invitation is offered. On no account invite her for a romantic weekend on your first date. She’ll (quite rightly) assume you are only after one thing!
6. Clean Her Place
Offer to clean her place or your shared abode. Do make it clear this is not a criticism of her own cleaning abilities. This is also a great excuse to tidy away all that girlie clutter that irritates you so much!
7. Surprise Her
Make sure she doesn't take you for granted. Surprises are therefore great but make sure they are pleasant. Dumping your parents on her or your best mate Tom, who has a drink problem, will not go down well!
Why not unexpectedly arrive with flowers or take her to a show? Offer her a surprise trip to an attraction she will enjoy, for example a rock concert or a theme park.
8. Give Her Presents
Buy her a surprise present that is unconnected with her birthday, anniversary or any public holiday. Try to choose things that she won't unexpect but avoid pitfalls such as pets.
Should you break up will she really want to keep the small monkey or parrot that reminds her constantly of your failed relationship?
Some tasteful lingerie may go down well and there may be a bonus for you in that she will try it on and then show you how it looks.
If you don’t know her well then avoid anything too tacky or that she wouldn't want her mother to see her in. Otherwise she may feel like a whore and that the gift is more for your pleasure than hers!
9. Tell Her You Love Her
If you really love her then you should tell her. However, “I love you,” can be the hardest 3 words for some guys to utter.
It is important to understand that girls need to hear you say you love them. Unspoken love is not enough. Try to demonstrate the depth of your adoration in some way, using some of the ideas in this list, for example.
Remember that the men who find it easiest to say “I love you” to every passing girl are almost certainly lying and are only after one thing.
What you need to do is convince her of your sincerity. Tell her exactly what it is that makes you love her, be it her lovely smile, her outgoing, engaging personality or her sense of humour.
In the unlikely event you are married but have a mistress (this advice is mainly for Frenchmen) then ditching your mistress forever will impress your wife no end!
10. Make Her Laugh
Make her laugh. Women really appreciate a man with a sense of humour. They also admire a guy who doesn't take himself too seriously. Being pompous and self-important is a huge female turn-off.
Try dressing up in a silly costume, for example, and then ringing her doorbell. But avoid playing tricks on her that make her look silly; particularly in front of her friends or family.
Beware too, of vulgar activities such as breaking wind or farting (releasing wind from the bottom) that men think are hilarious but women just don’t find funny. Sexist jokes in front of her friends will also go down like a lead balloon!
Here is hoping these 10 tips will help you to convince the girl of your dreams you are the Special One! Dare to tell her how much you love her and why.
Convince her that whether it's a spider in the bath, the toaster needs fixing or she has a more intimate job in the bedroom that you are the guy to call.
Remember be real with her. Dare to be vulnerable and above all make her laugh and she is bound to fall in love with you!