The Top 10 Things You're Doing to Sabotage Your Marriage Plans
So you're over 30, and your quest for a husband has not yet been fulfilled. "I'm a beautiful, smart, and caring person; why can't I find someone?" Well, ladies, I'm here to tell you that there may be certain behaviors that you're engaging in that make finding a mate more difficult. Here are some possible reasons:
10. You're Not in Your 20s Anymore
Do you remember what you were like in your early 20's when you were dating? You dated to have fun, go out, get some good food and relax. Now you're dating to find a mate. You're turning every date into an interrogation. You bring up marriage too soon and scare off potential men.
Make yourself 21 again. Plan "fun" dates at arcades, bowling alleys, and movie theaters. This will put men at ease, and you're likely to find the right person for you.
9. You Need a New Job
No, I'm not suggesting you quit your job. But for those of us who spend the majority of our days in the workplace, the chances that your Mr. Right will come from your office is great. Many women work in fields that are dominated heavily by women. Teaching, social work, administrative work, and nursing all fall into these fields.
Meeting your future husband is a numbers game. You need to be around men to meet men and eventually meet your husband. Don't quit your job; just make sure that you spend time outside of work doing social activities.
8. You're a Homebody
Many single women work all day and then go home in the evening, only to repeat the cycle the next day. If you want to meet people, you need to be around people. Make it a point to go out EVERY night of the week, even if you're tired. Go where the men are.
That means joining the gym (not a women's gym). Go to bowling alleys, golf ranges, batting cages, restaurants that have big-screen TVs during major sporting events. Go to a baseball game, join a biking club. Check out business networking events. It's a numbers game, so place yourself in the company of as many men as possible.
7. You Chose the Wrong Major
If you attended college, what was your major? Many majors, such as those in the liberal arts--communication, nursing, art, theater, are dominated by women. Certain majors have students that are overwhelmingly male. These fields include business, IT (Information Technology), engineering, mathematics, and science.
Looking to go back to college for an advanced degree? Select a male-dominated degree path. If none of these subjects suit your interests, select a college that has a higher male than female population. Technical colleges are a great example of this phenomenon.
6. Birds of a Feather . . .
When you go out socially, do you go alone or with a group? If you are always flocked by five of your closest gal pals, men may be too intimidated to approach you. I'm not saying to do everything solo, but just realize that most men don't want to walk up to a table of women to talk to you and risk rejection and humiliation. And furthermore, stop taking advice about men from your single female girlfriends. Go to your male friends and family members for the best advice.
5. You're Doing Too Much
I know I'm going to get a lot of negative backlash for this one, but it's absolutely true. You have three degrees, a home, and a BMW. Men are biologically hardwired to take care of and provide for their woman.
If you already have everything that you could ever need in life, he may think there is nothing he can do for you. Now don't go out and sell your house and get a Yugo. In order to make yourself attractive to your potential husband, you have to let him know that he will be able to provide for you.
4. You Don't Appear Feminine or Youthful
Scientifically and biologically speaking, men are more attracted to women who exude high fertility. They are looking for a woman that can help him pass along his genes, so to this end, he will subconsciously be attracted to youthful and feminine women.
This doesn't mean that you can't find a husband if you're older. Any woman can find a partner, but science draws us to partners who are most likely to help us reproduce. Which brings me to my next point . . .
3. You Don't Look Like a Wife
A man who is looking for a serious relationship wants a woman who looks like she would make a good wife. Are you half-naked in your social networking profile? Your man will subconsciously be afraid that you will be unfaithful. And how's your hair? Short hair may be cute and trendy, but long, flowing locks suggest youth.
Try wearing softer colors, dresses, and other feminine touches. (I know this is not politically correct, but if you're looking for a spouse and you're over 30, you don't need political correctness.) Wear a little makeup and earrings wherever you go.
2. You're Silent
Speak to every man you meet. Yes, I said that. Make it a point to smile and say "good morning" or "good afternoon" to every man you meet. Your friendliness can be just the ticket to invite him to start a conversation with you. Even if he's married, he may have a brother or a friend you may like.
1. You're Afraid
Men love confident women. So get out there, smile, and be friendly. Know that your Mr. Right is out there, no matter what your age. He's a lot closer than you think.