Stop Getting Hurt by Men
I once got a confession from a girl who told me that “My heart is open and ready to receive but I keep getting hurt by men. Why is this happening?” And what can you advise me to do? I am about to lose my trust and openness in men!”. Wow what a mouthful right? Don’t give up on men you just need to know the popular reasons why women keep getting hurt by men.
The first reason lays in the way a woman shows, and acts upon, her feelings and thoughts. We are all capable of producing different responses when we are put in certain situations. Women, therefore, carry a huge responsibility in the display of those emotions. Just picture it for a second….No one is able to force happiness from you just in the same way no one is able to force sadness from you. You decide when you are happy or sad. This is the ultimate power that a woman can carry; you can have ownership of your feelings. The minute you give this away, someone else can easily manipulate them to their own use.
You will find that pure happiness radiates from within. It is therefore useless to expect it from external sources. Worse, a great guy can sense your lack of happiness and will disappear from you (no matter how attracted he was to you in the begging). When a man disappears, he knows that he can’t possibly solve all that emotional baggage for you. But you would say “I thought a great guy is supposed to stick with me through thick and thin?” It really does damage any partner’s self-esteem if they constantly have to re-assure you. Most men hate it when a woman takes to blaming her feelings on him. Men are problem solvers and when they can’t solve it, they feel like a failure because you can not be happy.
That second reason on why a woman keeps getting hurt by men is due to the fact that she has not taken responsibilities to set her expectations. She has not only not set her expectations but also, failed to communicate them clearly to a man in a way that he can understand. Too many women are led to believe that the only way a man can stay with them is if they give in to him completely. They believe that giving in means letting a man have his way when never and wherever. This is the “whatever” attitude. Any person who is a “whatever” type is easily able to bore anyone. It looses the challenge and excitement needed in a relationship. This type of non-caring behavior will only lead you to getting hurt here is why….
1. A man will not know what she wants so he is going to end up doing whatever he pleases without remorse.
2. There will be no consequences for his behavior so, to him, there is no reasons to change any bad behavior!
Men are not mind-readers so they can not automatically make women happy. They also are wired to think differently so if you expect a man to know what your wishes are, without conveying that to him, you are setting yourself up for grief. Be responsible for your communication in an assertive way that won’t make you seem like the overly emotional woman or the pushy lady.
Are you confused by a man's actions and words?
What if you were able to dissect those little perplexing things that men do that leave you wondering why? Wouldn’t if be great if you were able to have an insight into the things that make many men leave women that they were so intensely attracted to begin with?
I encourage you to learn the Real Truth about men and stop getting hurt by them now!
Hannah Qua from San Francisco, CA on September 14, 2012:
This is a useful hub, thanks for the information!
Also totally agree with dashingscorpio - an important component in not getting hurt by men lies hugely in selecting wisely. Although it's not very comforting to hear if you've just been hurt by someone, we are all adults and can take responsibility for our own choices. Especially the choices we make in relationships.
dashingscorpio from Chicago on August 08, 2011:
I think it's important for both women and men to keep the following in mind. (Each of us selects our own friends, lovers, and spouse.) If you go to the store to buy an apple but purchase an onion instead...Whose fault is that? You are responsible for your own happiness. When we say I don't trust men or women, what we really are saying is we don't trust ourself to select the "right" person for ourselves. It's been said, "Women fall in love with their ears and men fall in love with their eyes." With time and experience comes wisdom. Women learn that "actions" speak louder than words and men learn all that "glitters" ain't gold. One man's opinion! :-)