I am a relationship counselor that loves giving advice to others.
Is there a guy you like and you're wondering if he likes you back? This article highlights some of the surefire signs that a guy is into you. While some guys are so confident that they'll just go up and ask a girl out, not all guys are that brave. If you want to know whether he's working up the courage or thinking of you as one of the guys, you can examine his behavior for any of the following signs that he's into you.
1) You Catch Him Looking at You
Many guys start off just by looking at you. You may even have caught him looking over you. He may have responded by quickly looking away, or by making eye contact and smiling at you. If you see a guy staring at you, he's more likely than not working up the initiative to come up and talk to you.
Likewise, a guy who sneaks glances at you may similarly be waiting for the right moment to talk to you. Either way, if a guy enjoys looking at you, he is definitely captivated by you. It could be something you're wearing or something you're doing at that moment. If he smiles or looks nervous when you see him looking at you, it could be a sign he likes you.
2) He Makes a Point to Talk to You
If a guy just suddenly strikes up a conversation with you, it could be that you got his attention and he wants to get to know you better before asking you out. If he started to talk to you out of the blue, it's a fairly strong sign he's interested. Why else would he go to all the trouble of talking to you if he didn't at least think you were cool? If he seems very friendly, that is also a good sign. Of course, some guys are just sociable by nature. But if you see sign number three, then you can be fairly confident he's interested.
3) He Shows Off Around You
A guy who is a bit more forward will likely show his interest by trying to impress you. Maybe he'll tell you about something he did he's especially proud of, or just casually let it slip what kind of car he drives, or that he's training for a marathon. Truth is, if at any point it seems like he is trying to impress you there is a very strong chance he likes you. The number one thing guys do when interested in a girl is to show her what they are made of and what they have. They want you to think they're a catch—that other girls would snap them up given the chance. He hopes that by making himself seem more high status, you'll be more attracted to him.
4) He Teases You
If a guy teases you a lot—gives you embarrassing nicknames, or makes fun of you, or touches you in small ways—then it's very likely he's interested in you. Though he might just be joking around, guys will often show their interest indirectly by being playful. Doing so allows him to express his interest without the risk of rejection. One typical example of this dynamic is when you ask him to do something and he says "no" or "make me" in a playful manner. Guys like to sometimes show dominance as a way of teasing girls. Some guys take this too far and can be downright nasty and immature to girls they like. If you notice that he only acts that way some of the times, then it's possible he just wants you to notice him and doesn't know how to get your attention in a mature way.
5) He Spends Lots of Time With You
A guy who likes you will try to find excuses to spend a lot of time with you, hoping that you'll become interested in him too. Some guys might take this too far and follow you around wherever you go like a lost puppy or suddenly turn up in your usual hang-out places. That can quickly go from being sweet to being pathetic and kind of creepy. He may also do things he knows you're into—like horseback riding or ice skating—as a way of telling you he'd be into doing those activities with you. The big sign is if he blows off his male friends to spend time with you. Guys will tease an aspiring Romeo who choose spending time with a girl over time with them. So if he’s willing to put up with friends making fun of him, then you know he's into you.
6) He Gets You Little Gifts Just Because
Guys do tend to be very logical when showing interest in girls, and it can be quite typical that if a guy likes you he will go out of his way for you to buy you a gift. A gift is a very big sign he either likes you or values your long-term friendship. He may also compliment you on something like your hair, makeup, or clothes. If you feel like he is being overly nice, then he is probably a straightforward guy trying to impress you. Personally I think this is one of the things a guy does when he is totally clueless of how to show interest in a girl.
7) He Asks For Your Number
Some guys will take their time to ask a girl so as not to rush things or pressure her. If he asks you to go out during the weekend when you've only just met, he likely thinks you're relationship material. If he asks for your number, he definitely wants to be part of your life and if he asks if you have a boyfriend, he's clearly angling for the position himself and is planning to ask you out.
8) He Remembers Small Details
If he's good about remembering your birthday, or other small details about you, that's another good sign he has a big ol' crush on you. Either he wants to impress you with the fact that he can remember these small things or he's thinking about you so much that he cannot help but remember.
9) He's Always Happy to See You and Gets Jealous of Other Guys
A guy is always happy to see the girl he likes. If he seems excited to see you, then it is likely you are the girl he likes and wants in his life. He may also get jealous or sad when you flirt with other guys. Some guys will lose interest if you flirt with other guys because they'll interpret it as sign you're not interested. On the other hand, some guys will pursue you even harder if they see you flirting with other guys since they're worried they might lose you to someone else. Want my advice? If your'e going to make a guy jealous, don't to it to the point of hurting him and scaring him off. Do it moderately, girls!
chlo on October 15, 2019:
I don't like him he is just a close friend he used to like my best friend last year but I don't know if he still does last year most of our talk were about her or school work sow e didn't really talk about each other or something I usually gave them advice whenthey had a fight or something no they weren't dating or anything but of them liked each other this year she doesn't really like him and idk about him didn't really ask him and he started to talk to me more than usual last year he used to akways talk to her instead now this year he kept teasing me not in a harsh way and when I was mad he tred to cheer me up and this stff he never did that last year in a lesson I sent a note to my best friend teasing her as she was sitting next him then she told me that she ios going to tell him that I like him -she meant my crush- then the boy thought it was hik then he asked her me then she told him no its her crush he looked shocked but then turned around and started to ask who is he and this stuff but I don't feel like he likes me I don't even on ehim to I just wrote her so u know one really knows me and if I tell one of my friends they will keep teasing me and i bate being tease about something isn't right
John on October 10, 2019:
Okay.... I guess I've never liked anyone because I've never done these 9 stupid things.
V on December 08, 2018:
If a guy moves close to you when sitting on a couch is he interested in you?
just a girl on October 09, 2018:
he fancys me i blew it . the end no more chances. i'm sick of hearing why didnt u!!!!!
wfw on September 01, 2018:
acecakes on July 18, 2018:
there's this guy i work with and he always teases me, and i catch him staring/looking at me sometimes, and recently he's always trying to start a conversation with me (even when i was reading a book). is it possible that he might like me? im not a very confident person so its hard to believe anyone would be interested in me
Nerdy on July 05, 2018:
There's this guy in my school and I had a crush on him for more than 2 years. One of my closest bff told me that most crushes were a few months and she thinks it's love. I swear, I caught him staring at me in a few classes. And then it's summer. In summer, because schools off, we only chatted online in games with other people.
After summer, he just treats me... A bit more different. Getting nervous and tapping fingers on tables when I'm around.
But here's the confusing part- today, at a party, he winked at me. Then accidentally covering my hand with his and taking it away. Then sitting next to me on a table.
but still, idk if he likes me back.
WHAT SHOULD I DO!?
Hollie J on July 05, 2018:
He only teases me and tries to touch me
vanessa XD hehehehe on May 04, 2018:
OMG AWWWWWWW i never knew but a lot of people like MEEEEEEE~~~Im SOOO HAPPY PS I HAVE A LOT OF MALE FRIENDS!!!!!!!!
Shazza on April 05, 2018:
Hi there's a guy a like he's a bus driver n he's been chatting away like we've known each other for years, feel like we can tell each other anything, we'll he always stares at me. Waves n smiles he's kissed me n pulled me close a like him, does he like me help, and also he's been telling me to stay on bus n not taking money off me for ma bus home does he like me or feel something for me, when he's on bus a feel him staring at me n when a look he glances away please help
jan on March 26, 2018:
There is a guy i have been crushing on for over 6 years now we both have our partners but we cant keep our eyes off each other we hardly speak but i like him so bad he looks at all my statuses on watsap,i always catch him looking at me and sometimes he gets lost,looking at me,I just wish he was mine.
ADVICE SEEKER on March 21, 2018:
i do like a girl, she is from a small city and is a old school girl,
we know each other since 2 years.
she seemed to be greatly interested in me, when first time we met
we have started chatting regularly since one or two months
she talks to me very nicely and lets me flirt(never denies or gets angry like a small city old school girl)
and she is very very attractive and beautiful girl,
so many guys are hitting on her regularly, but she replies to very few
last week she told '"she is responding to one of those hitting frogs and finding something in him"'
and in this weeks time we did not have a long chat as usual because she is not doing it
AND in past before years when i showed her signs of interest,
she did ask me indirectly(but clearly) that "do i like her"
i did not answer that and turned topic around
and i seek an expert ADVICE on what to do now
THE GUY on March 15, 2018:
Yah he likes you I just visited this site to see what it had to say it is correct that’s what I do and most guys do this guy is totally into you
Anonymous on February 26, 2018:
LOL my crush does a few of these things. He remembers my birthday, got me a puppy hat just cuz i joked about it, gave me his cool dragon charm thingy (probs cuz he knows i like dragons), and once I asked him to be my valentine and he said yes n asked “so should we kiss or somethin?” He didn’t know but my heart legit melted XD anyway, he sends me mixed signals so please send haylp :b
Andrea on December 26, 2017:
What does he meant when he keeps on teasing me of going on a date but he actually knows that I haven't have a boyfriend yet? And he is actually my crush. I do like him, and I think he knows. But I did't want to put on a high hopes on him.
Denjay on November 19, 2017:
So there is boy and he scares the shit outta me like if I see him I feel like I have to get away but at the same time his looks draw me in. I know that I shouldn't like him cause he is an asshole. But I feel like I'm falling for his looks anyway. Please help me.
Angel Meade on November 09, 2017:
okay my crush is really protective of m, does that mean that he "likes" me
And when my best friend yell out "Angel LOVES_______" He BLUSHED!!!
WHAT DO I DO????!!!!
miracle on November 08, 2017:
i just started my new school and i have a good sense of humor and i am fun to be around so it was not to long ago that i found that this boy likes me and then i started missing days because i was sick and then when i come back to school i was obviously expecting more love letters but it's like he has lost interest like he does not care any more i dont know what to think because im falling for him and im still waiting for him to ask me out but he sorta the shy type so should i ask him out cause i allready kn ow he likes me so what makes the best since please tell me im clueless help please get back to me as soon as possible
Saida on October 18, 2017:
I'm a girl and i have a guy friend whom i used to share my feelings with. He always texted me and used to tell me his crushes too, but lately he acts like he cares for me but doesn't want to show that he cares for me in public because he has a girlfriend that everyone knows but is a long distance relationship. Does he like me now? help me please. I like him though, but i think i've already seriously fall in love with him but i don't want to tell him i like him because I'm afraid i might ruin our friendship. Help!!
Bella on October 13, 2017:
I like a white boy but im brownish black and that's not the problem he doesn't talk to me but he shows off sometimes sometimes I feels he wants to come near me butwhen I see him coming he turned and he talks to others normally not me he does not even smile neither do I. I act like i dont like him I sometimes dont know why and I sometimes I feel that he acts like that too can you reply please and tell whether we can have a relationship by the way we are in same class and in middle school
ALYSSA on August 31, 2017:
I like a boy for a while and we are friends but i told him last week i liked him and now he barley talks to me. Now I'm not sure what to do i need help with it i do everything he likes i talk to him but before he used to say hi and talk to me for 5 minutes and I'm just confused
Amy on August 28, 2017:
I like a boy called terry and he he's a nice boy whenever I see him he smiles at me all the time I think he likes me too
Sam on August 18, 2017:
What happen if your crush just staring at and smiles when he hole time when you ask him a question but never answer you back
What does of mean when your crush pass at break and lunch where you hangout with your friend but when he always stars at you
Bre on August 11, 2017:
Me and this guy have any talking for sometime now will tonight he asked me a question do I like him and why I gave her the reasons why and then he replied with it's best we start talking what is that me
Sarah on August 10, 2017:
He bought me a diamond encrusted infinity bracelet, and he's called me pretty, went out of his way to walk me from school, ect. People urge me to ask him out, please help!
dareal man on July 08, 2017:
oh my god, I pray my crush never finds this, I legit do all these things without even noticing
lola on June 27, 2017:
so theres this guy that everyone likes at my school. he dates a girl and seems really intrested in her but he always comes up to me for things like oh if his girlfriend is here at school or something, because hes not in the same class. he also always comes up to me to ask me questions like, where are the scissors or like what is hi in arabic. i really need help please reply!
Jen on June 19, 2017:
I've been texting with a guy regularly,usually a few texts throughout the day and then long conversations at night.We talk about everything under the sun and recently we keep bringing up sexual topics.Wondering if he is interested in me because he tends to talk more with my friend(mutual female friend) when we hang out in person.
Amanda on March 04, 2017:
This guy always mocks me and try's to sit by me. Says my name across the room and keeps talking to my friend, he once was talking to his friend and he pointed to me and they were both looking at me. He always teases me and he laughs when I laugh and I sometimes catch him staring at me.Does he like me?
swaathy on December 28, 2016:
Yet I hadn't fall in love but i loves to love.so i don't know the feelings of loving.i feel this article as an interesting one
Jeff on October 02, 2016:
Hey jay, I was at work,and there is a subway in the job I work at combined with walmart, I see this girl every now and then when she's working, and we share eye contact, so one day I.ordered some pizza from there and I realized I didn't have my debet card so I went to hustle money but couldn't, so I came back and she came up to the register and I told her that I didn't have my debet card and I all I had on me was five dollars, and the pizza cost five plus toppings which is fifty cents extra, and she had this kinda sad cute look on her face after I wanted the order canceled and she just gave me the whole box of pizza for free, and I tried to give her the five since I had something because I didn't want her to get in trouble with her boss but she constantly refused to take my money and she said its okay, I already have enough money and I told her thank you, and she replied your welcome and she also giggled at,I don't know what for but I think it was the fact that I had a mouth full of pizza and I threw away the box but I.had to open it up.because the whole at the top was to small but she just walked by and giggled.
ianna on September 15, 2016:
hello, I meet a guy at a gym who is my boyfriend friend. before my boyfriend introduce me to him, when I entered the room, he stare at me with a killer smile,, and I don't know him first, and i just ignore that maybe other person he smiled for. then as the days go by, when we were doing work out, I always catch him staring at me more than seconds , sometimes smiling at me, he always on my side or facing to me, just saying hello and never to take conversation with me,, only he talks a lot to my boyfriend, and now he ignore me, I ask him one time, he never answered me,,, WTF, is he has a problem to me? Its just so confusing.
Rohan Rinaldo Felix from Chennai, India on August 08, 2016:
A wonderful article with good pictures! I am a guy and think all the points are valid. Keep up the good work!
michelle on April 02, 2016:
Hello, I don't know if you are still taking comments, but I have a question about my situation. The guy I’m crushing on is my coworker at work (he’s 25, I’m 22). We met in my interview and I felt an immediate connection that I never felt with anyone else. We first started texting more through phone before actually really communicating in person. After talking to each other almost all the time and we started talking more at work, we both started being a little more flirter (but I don’t know if that’s the way he is). He treats me different from all the other girls, he defended and protected me many times, he finds ways to touch me (either my arm or lay his hand on my waist), and he always appears in my aisle. Every time we talk, we would always just laugh and have a good time and I would tell him a little more personal details about me and he’ll tell me about him (I know him more than anyone (except one who known him since he was a little kid)). He even told me that he feels like the luckiest person in the world because of me. But my dilemma is that he has a girlfriend. The reason why I’m getting mixed signals from him is because when I found out he has a girlfriend, I pulled away multiple times and all those times he kept coming closer. For example, it was after Valentine’s and I told him that I need to stay away from him because he has a girlfriend and my feelings are just too much to handle being around him all the time. He gave me this distant look and he still came up to talk to me. I never heard anything about his girlfriend after - he NEVER mentions her. Also, I’m a very hugger because I love to feel affection from everyone, but I’m always shy to ask him because every time I do ask him for a hug, he gives me this “wrap around the waist/lower back” hugs and pulls me in tight (ANOTHER MIXED SIGNAL!). And lately, he has been teasing me a lot more and every time we text, it’s super like lightning fast. I don’t know what’s going on - please help!
kirthu on February 05, 2016:
Hi I m twenty years old however the guy who I loves so much is two years older than me he had propose to me before but I rejected for the family sake I likes him a lot and I wants him back but I m scared he won't. Accepte back what I should I.do
Jay Rando (author) from England on August 25, 2015:
@candydrill. Hi there, 15 and 20 is a big difference of age and can be frowned upon for sure. I am understanding of someone your age finding an older guy attractive because older guys seem to be more mature and closer to the type of guy you admire and want to be with.
On the other hand i think you know what i am going to say.. this relationship will not work out right now with him being 20 and you 15 your relationship will be strained for many reasons, you probably wont have much in common, he will be wanting to settle down and this may be too much for you at your age especially when you start to see the reality of expectations of adult relationships.
If you decide to take things further he can also potentially get arrested for sexual activity with a minor. Don't get me wrong though because i am sure he is not that type of guy. However i do propose you talk to your parents(especially your mum) about this because they surely know best for you, perhaps if they are ok with this they may let you date him when you are 16.
This really depends on your parents, however if it makes you feel better when my mum was 16 she was dating my dad who was 21. It is ok to be attracted or interested in someone older, dont feel weird or bad about feeling that way. See where you are in a year's or two time. I think that if by that time you are both still single and your parents "meet and trust" this guy then perhaps they will be more open to the idea of you two dating. Good luck
Jay Rando (author) from England on August 13, 2015:
@Candy Queen. Hi again, have taken a break from commenting but i am back again now. If the guy tells you that girls love him is it possible he was trying to make you jealous by telling you such info? I cannot see why he would tell you that just randomly out of no where, if he did tell you that out of no where it could very well be a sign hes into you. So he told you he was going to meet a girl after class then didn't? Is that what you are trying to say? If so it does sound like he is making this stuff up.. possibly to make you jealous.. to get your attention and what not.
Of course perhaps he was going to meet a girl but she stood him up? I can only speculate. But yes i think you have this figured on your own and you are likely right by what your thinking because i think similarly. i would not think too much about this and just let the pieces fall where they will, if he is into you he will probably make a move at some point, the best you can do is throw him some hints his way your into him without being totally obvious, if he gets it he will make a move. Yes guys are really naive at reading women but not to the point that they miss strong hints.
But it is always a good sign that he treats you differently to other girls, that could indeed be a sign he wants you and not the other girls. We treat the person we like differently, generally that is what happens so I'm going to say there is a good chance here that he is into you if he is doing all this.. but beyond that i cannot give a certain yes, just a likely yes. Some guys can make women jealous just to play head games.. but i still stand by the idea that most guys who try to make women jealous are into them, the small percentage know you already like them and enjoy playing with your head. I hope things progress for you eventually.. Good luck
candydrill on July 30, 2015:
well this is not does he like me but there is this boy who i treat as a older brother and his brother but mostly him. I saw him again this year twice within a month. we also have a 6 year difference. I might start having a crush on him since he is like a best friend to me and i know i cant date him i'm turning 16 next year but that is not until the end of the year. i can't date him tho and i know i'm confused. I'm 14 bout to be 15 and he is 20.
Jay Rando (author) from England on July 14, 2015:
@Chrissie87. Hey again, yes you and your friends are bang on the money in my opinion. There isn't much else for me to say except that you will meet someone else eventually especially someone who wont play any mind games or do anything that plays with your head. As always i enjoy helping out and giving guidance in anyway i can so feel free to come back anytime, you are welcome.
I give you praise for your courage in going for it anyway, it can be difficult to show interest in someone especially when it ends up in some kind of rejection, rejections can be a good test of our inner strength and our ability to bounce back (this will make you a stronger person in other words). There are plenty of guys out there who will want to be with you and wont mess you around.
Feel free to come back if there is someone else. Wishing you luck
Candy Queen on July 09, 2015:
Thank you for telling me about the sister thing, cause the idea that he might think of me like a sister was bugging me a lot. Other then that my first thought has always been he likes me, but as he's never asked me out I usually talk myself out of it.
The idea that he might be a player is a possibility, though he's not the type to always have girls chasing him. Like he tells me that girls love him, but I know from other people he doesn't date often. I always figured he was just being a guy and bragging, but recently he started talking about some girl he met. One night at a martial arts class we both take he was telling me that after class he was going to meet this girl again, later I found out that he was going to meet his dad. Since that night he hasn't said anything about her (it was only like a week ago), and so I'm really confused by she was all he could talk about and then he didn't care anymore. The only thing I could come up with is he's either a player or he was trying to make me jealous (cause I didn't understand why he told me he was meeting a girl when he was actually meeting his father). But if he's a player I don't understand why he wouldn't flirt with every girl like he does (he doesn't treat most girls like me or flirt with them), or if he wanted to make me jealous why? If he wanted me jealous then that would mean he likes me, but as he doesn't ask me out after so long that doesn't make sense either. I can't imagine why he'd be afraid of dating me. So I'm back to the beginning where my gut tells me he likes me, but then I try to make sense of his behavior and I just get confused. I know I'm probably not being very clear, but where my crush is concerned I don't know how to explain my thoughts.
Jay Rando (author) from England on July 07, 2015:
@daisy dmd. Hi Daisy thank you for the compliment, i appreciate it. Hmm thats a toughie, he could just be doing his job and very friendly.. on the other hand he could also like you. I would say if he is accommodating without you actually asking for help then there is a good chance he might be into you. I am not sure what you mean by the body language is there? What kind of body language is he giving you?
He could be looking at you when you speak because he is attracted.. but does he look at everyone else when they speak? Its possible he hangs around your clinic to see you or be closer to you, its a possibility. So he has your number? If he has your number i am assuming that if he was interested by now he would ask you to hang out outside the clinic, that is my first thoughts. But he might also be trying to be professional.
Personally i cannot tell from just this is if he is into you, there is nothing clear here for me that tells me that he is interested and i would say that if he really likes you he will eventually make a move on you. Beyond that I think your best bet is to get to know him better, try to converse more with him to feel out the situation better.. to ask if he wants to hang out sometime or to simply throw some more hints his way and see if he asks you out or tries to get your number. Good luck
Chrissie87 on June 22, 2015:
Hey again Jay,
Thanks again for all your help and advice. After hearing from you, and talking to friends again we all seem to be on the same page about him being a manipulative person. We all thought he was a great guy, and as time went on and we found out about the girlfriend and all his other chats with other coworkers his real personality seemed to come through. I think we were all fooled by him, mom also thought he seemed to be a good guy at first.
My friend seems to agree with you in thinking he is just one of those guys who likes to play games and wants attention from everyone. Once it seemed like I liked him, I guess he got what he wanted and moved on.
I didn't end up telling him how I felt actually. I never did write the note, or actually tell him. I thought it would be better if I didn't. I did just try to talk to him and hint more that I was interested rather than telling him, the few days after I heard about the girlfriend, but it didn't get me anywhere, and I just gave up. That's when I started hearing more things about him and realized he probably isn't a good guy anyway.
It's true I will never really know why he did it all, and now I actually don't care. Everyone did believe he liked me, but after everything went down I think we all know what kind of person he really is and I don't want to be with someone like that anyhow. I hopefully wont have to see him much anymore and can move on.
Thanks again for all your insight, and I will definitely be back if there is another guy, :)
Jay Rando (author) from England on June 21, 2015:
@Chrissie87. Hi again Chrissie, really sorry to hear about how this turned out but at the very least please pat yourself on the back for at least trying. I get the feeling this has made you feel foolish but even if you do don't, in my opinion my guess is that he is likely a highly manipulative person through his flirting... I personally think he flirted with you to a degree in which was meant to play with your head and feelings.. even asking your mum if you are single he knew exactly what he was doing.. I do wonder what your mum said about his behavior.
The only exception (highly doubt this) is if he was feeling sorry about you or something so felt like cheering you up through flirting and playfulness. Then again you dont ask someone if they have are single without an ulterior motive. In other words asking your mum if you are single was some kind of ploy in my opinion. There are people out there who love playing mind games and having everyone fawning over them, he might be one of those guys, one of those ones who gets annoyed or invalidated when he feels he cant have you..
I personally would not have told him your feelings outright and rather had just thrown a stronger hint out there, putting your feelings on the table isn't necessary. If a guy's interested he will make a move especially if your giving strong hints.. those guys who seem a bit more flirty are the ones you are best leaving to ask you out. Now i am not saying its a bad thing you spilled your feelings.. at least you got it over and done with.. but in the future i would be more cautious as to avoid an unnecessary rejection.
Of course you probably know that when i am reading comments here i am just giving my best guess based on the signs given.. this is why sometimes people like me who are reading your situation can get it wrong in the odd case. However if me and your friends/family think he liked you then you have a full team of people who were convinced it was worth going for.. what does that tell you? He could have been highly deceptive. He might have gotten his kicks out doing it.. or maybe not. We can't read his mind.. but these player types do exist.
For me ALL flirting has a limit.. I give you a big pat on the back and a hug. I will leave it there, if you need advice again or meet another guy you like who you think may like you back please come here and i will help out in any way i can.. Remember that every experience even this one can be seen as a good thing in relation to learning new things going forward.. That way you feel better about it, you will never see the guy again, certainly that makes easier recovery and getting onto the next one. Best wishes
daisy dmd on June 19, 2015:
hi jay it was happen i have so many question in my mind, and i search that would help me a lot then i came up with article am glad it helped me since i really dont know what if a guy like me too,
Am glad your article is really nice and am so interested, Can you tell me more? My situation is i loke this guy, He is our modir meaning our director in our clinic hes the one who taking care of all our needs in the clinic, i have notice ever since we talk he is always smiling at me asking me if i need anything just to start my clinic he is so nice and very accommodating what ever i need i talk to him, then change happen i notice that every time we talk about my work the body language is there but he never touch me bcoz i think its not in there culture they respect women here, the thing is why he always look at me when i talk and listen all my needs sometimes i notice him when is in the phone he always walking around my clinic i dont know why? but he never say a thing or even callme or txted me, I dont know if he likes me, pls help me am confuse jay, sometimes i really dont know some attitude of a guy really confusing i like him but i think he will never make a move..
hoping we can really talk so i will know him and he will know me better...
pls help... jay..
Jay Rando (author) from England on June 19, 2015:
@Candy Queen. Hi there, mixed signals are often confusing, they can often be a sign someone is interested and someone isn't, however he does sound like he is definitely flirting with you. The little sister he never wanted..? I can see why that might hurt because it sounds like he is not happy with you being his little sister, having said that even though he says "never wanted" you have to look at the bigger picture.
But let me be the bearer of good news here.. some guys may call you "sister" but in fact still think your attractive, i can see why you would associate that with being a bad thing but guys may use the word "sister" as to cover up their interest, for example i have a best friend who has liked this girl for years and he always said things like "shes like my little sister". I can tell you for sure he was definitely into her. Of course in your situation i cannot promise that this is the same, but like your friends i agree, dont read too much into it.
Using nicknames for you is often a sign hes into you. I think he may be jealous about this other guy you talk to a lot which would also be a good sign, although he does sound a bit possessive if he dislikes the other guy talking to you. Another good sign is that you said he watches you and filming you. Him acting like your responsibility is a protective thing guys do when they like a girl but i think that it also depends on what else he does. I am not sure what you mean when you say "he's the only way for me to go".
With that said MY overall opinion is that hes either into you and is too afraid to ask you out or hes a player.. when i read everything in your comment i would guess he is just a player stringing you a long. I am not 100% certain of it but i strongly believe if he saw you as someone worth dating and being with he would have made his move by now. i noticed you said later in your comment that you told him you liked him, he has not acted on that interest so what do you think that implies?
For me it implies he is likely not interested.. or hes too afraid to date you for some reason. This is one of those cases where he shows many signs of interest but i think you need to see the bigger picture here, he has not bothered to ask you out. Players all have one thing in common, they wont date you but they wont let anyone else date you either. Him saying "you could never get a boyfriend if you tried" is a pretty mean thing to say, its really immature for a 20 year old to say.
Then again i am not sure if he says that because he doesn't want you to date anyone else, personally if someone liked me and said that to me i wouldn't view them as a very caring person, i would not want to be with such a person. He doesn't need to tell you he does or doesn't like you because he enjoys playing with you but if he was into you he would have already taken advantage of the situation and asked you out. Don't you agree? I am sorry if this was not what you wished to hear but personally my guess is that any chance of him liking you is a small percentage. Your best bet is to go on living and see if he asks you out eventually.. Good luck
Chrissie87 on June 18, 2015:
So I have some bad news. This whole thing didn't really work out. I didn't check your response until now because this all sort of blew up in my face about two weeks ago and I was too sad to read your response. Every single person I have mentioned this whole thing to has said that he was definitely interested in me. So now that this whole thing has gone down I'm still confused, I don't know if I missed my window with him, or he was really just a compulsive flirt.
So I definitely did try to show him I was more interested. Mom asked him if he liked me and he said yes and she told him that I did like him too. So the next week I was all ready to try and get more out of him, and I came in and got the cold shoulder. He basically didn't say much the first two days, he stopped calling me my dear, and there was no more singing. At break on Monday he sat down and was talking to the other guys about having his girlfriends parents over for dinner. I was so confused. One of the other guys asked him if he proposed to her yet. I couldn't even bare to look over at them talking. I was shocked. By the sounds of things it didn't seem like he just got a girlfriend over the weekend. He did apparently go to the casino for the weekend and mentioned how many pretty girls were there.
He did finally chat a little more a few days later but it was as if nothing had happened the previous week. There was no more flirty banter. My coworker mentioned to me that he was talking about his girlfriend to her, and mentioned the girlfriend several times. My coworker also mentioned that he asked her about her kids and she mentioned she had two daughters and he said that she should tell them that she knows this very cute electrician from work. So, it seems to me and everyone else that he is just a compulsive flirt. Was he only trying to get me to like him for fun? If he did have a girlfriend all this time then why was he getting close to me, or did he make up the girlfriend because he is afraid of admitting how he actually felt for me?
My friend suggested that I write him a note about how I felt because after telling her everything she thinks he was just playing me and I am really upset about this. I did fall for him, whether he ever really cared or not, I don't know. I, you and everyone else was convinced he liked me, and then he completely changed his tune. A few days later he changed shifts and now is working days at the building, so I don't see him as much anymore. I saw him one night when he came in to get something and he was with a girl, which I assume is his girlfriend, but I don't actually know for sure. Since he changed shifts he hasn't made any move to stay in contact. I was tempted to ask one of his coworkers about the girlfriend situation but I was afraid it would get back to him and if he was just playing me then I don't want him to know how much he made me like him. Everyone now just keeps telling me to get over him because he was a jerk, but I still don't know the truth and that's what is making me all sad. I don't know if this is my fault for not showing him that I like him more, even though I tried or if he just wanted someone to flirt with while at work. I don't think there is anything else I can do with the situation.
Candy Queen on June 11, 2015:
Hi um.... I need help. I know I'm not very good at seeing signs, but there's this guy who ha got me so confused by his mixed signals. Like I have never been very good at knowing what is flirting, but there are times I KNOW he's flirting with me, but then he turns around and calls me the "little sister he never wanted" This nickname kinda hurts because I figured it means he thinks of me like a sister (which is bad for obvious reasons), but my friend says to not read too much into a nickname cause he probably just likes the way it sounds (and the other nicknames he's used are flirting). Cause I know I'm bad at knowing signs I tend to ignore my friend and instead decide that he doesn't like me like that and it's wishful thinking, but I really can't explain some stuff. Like I text this guy I work with all the time, like every day, and while I have no interest in this other guy other then being friends my crush would get nasty about it some times. And my crush watches me, and he might have recorded a video of me learning back flips on a trampoline (which I'm proud of, but I didn't know he recorded it and some how his mother claimed to have seen it). I also don't really understand why, if he just thought of me as a sister, is he always acting like I'm his responsibility. Like I get that a brother would care about some things, but he says stuff like "I'm never taking you to a wedding" or "I'm never taking you to Europe" or places he thinks I shouldn't go cause I act a little silly sometimes. Like he says these things like he's the only way for me to go, or that he actually made decision about what we would do together (not that he's like set in stone). Like I don't ask if he'll take me, he just says it out of the blue. I get so confused by him, like one day we'll be flirting and wrestling, but then the next he calls me the little sister he never wanted and claims I couldn't get a BF if I tried. I am so lost and can't understand why a twenty year old guy is acting so unsure, he knows I like him (I sent him a text telling him months ago) so why can't he just tell me he does or doesn't like me instead of acting like he likes me and then calling me his sister
Jay Rando (author) from England on June 05, 2015:
@Chrissie87. Hi Chrissie. He does sound like he is trying to woo you in his own unique way, showing off is something men do a lot when they are want to get a woman's attention and basically display their worthiness. If he seems happy to see you, like you make his day brighter then it is typical attraction he is feeling in my opinion.
Generally if he over heard something you said especially when he was busy doing something else i'd say that's another good sign hes into you, i think his comment about men's working hands is definite flirtation, quite funny that one liner.
I think he may think you don't like him though.. one worded answers and shaking your head may by him be perceived that your not interested. Truthfully guys can be clueless at times.. look at him, he went to your mum to find out if you like him or not! I mean how much more does he need to care about what you think about him?
He is in my opinion afraid you don't like him back.. that's why he dropped it by your mum.. i think the way you come across to him may be making him feel your not interested so please do behave more interested in him or at the very least get your mum to tell him that you don't dislike him. To me it sounds like he is not brave enough to ask you out.. perhaps you are not giving him enough signs for him to make a move on you.
And well.. the comment about having a boyfriend.. it was written in stone the moment i read that part.. hes into you.. of course there is chance he could be asking because one of his friends likes you but no i doubt that.. i think its him.. hes so see through its unbelievable. Like i said he wont ask you because hes scared you will reject him, this is why advise showing more interest in him, help the guy out.
Seriously i'm like 100% sure hes into you. You know the answer, you just don't want to believe it is true.. or rather you don't believe a guy like him could like you... he does, hes waiting for you. I really hope something came of this.. and if he is still around you still have a chance.. but unfortunately it sounds like he would ask you out only if you make it more obvious your own interest.
Trust me i've always felt having a good impression on your crushes mother is the best way to getting closer to a girl you like.. to me that sounds like what he is doing. Perhaps you should get your mum to tell him to ask you out if he likes you.. or something along those lines. Anyway i hope things happen for you.. Good luck
Chrissie87 on May 24, 2015:
I have a question. This guy came to work at the office building I work in, (He's there as an electrician working with a crew of sheet metal workers, and I'm on the cleaning staff) lately he seems like he's flirting a lot. I read your article and noticed that he has done a few things listed on here. A few weeks ago I caught him staring several times. He finally came over to talk to me, but I got nervous and only gave him one word answers, and he seemed to back off a bit, but lately he has been more chatty, and he tries to sing to me (he has made up a song he sings when he sees me.) He has been talking about himself, like he is trying to show off and get my attention. He started high fiving me a few weeks ago, which doesn't exactly scream be my girlfriend, unless that is his way of touching me and getting close. He does seem really attentive sometimes. One night I had the worst headache and he heard me mention it to someone else I was working with, and later on that night her and I were laughing and he walked right up to me and looked me in the eye and asked if I was feeling better, and he really looked like he was concerned. Although, then he went to high five me again, and I jokingly said I wouldn't because his hands were dirty, but they weren't really, and his response was that "some girls like mens working hands".
He has asked some personal questions, although not all of them have been to me. I work with my mom, so a few times he has asked her questions, possibly thinking that it's a good idea that she likes him. On Friday he wasn't supposed to be at work, and when he showed up I was caught off guard. I try to look my best when he's around, but I didn't on Friday, but he was still very talkative. He started singing my song when I saw him and I shook my head like I always do, and he asked why I do that ( I think he's ridiculous in an adorable way. plus I don't know what to say to him) But he said to my mom that he thinks I don't like him. (But I DO!) I found out after we left work that he had apparently asked my mom whether or not I have a boyfriend, and she told him no. She said he didn't really respond to her but he did ask her if I would ever go on a motorcycle (which he drove to work that night, and he told me that he did it just for me. ) I don't know whether he is being nosy by asking questions or because he is interested. Why wouldn't he ask me himself? Is he asking her because he thinks I don't like him, and he's trying to find something I like to talk to me about possibly? I'm not sure if he's trying to get closer now, since I know his job is almost done, and he will be leaving soon. So I'm not really sure what to do with all this. My other issue is that I don't even think he knows my name. He just addresses me as "my dear". I know his name, but it has never come up while we have been chatting.
I keep thinking about all the possibilities that this stuff means. I don't know if he is being nice because I'm around and it's just polite, or if he's flirting, just because he's a flirty person. I'm not sure if he's trying to get me to like him because it seems like I don't like him and it bothers him that someone doesn't like him, or if he really is interested and just doesn't know how to say it. Possibly because my mom is around. I'm 27, so it's not like I need her permission to go out with him if he does ask. What should I do?
Jay Rando (author) from England on May 20, 2015:
@jojojoannnaaaa. If he cannot love you for you then he is not worth dating otherwise you will always cater to what the other person wants.. to me it sounds like he prefers extroverted women, however i say to you to definitely take pride in being an introvert, its not a weakness. Being an introvert or extrovert isn't something we consciously choose to be.. you're either one or the other.. or somewhere in between both.. the only thing you can do to make such a relationship work is to both come halfway with each other if you do end up dating, in other words he should not expect you to socialize all the time. I think its really shallow that he doesn't like introverts but surely things will change the more he gets to see introverts aren't all that bad.
The teasing about the fat thing sounds like hes into you. I think calling you beautiful and being flirty is a sign hes into you as well.. hes very protective of you and the initials on the hand thing is obvious. I'd say say hes surely into you but I'd wait for him to ask you out.. as to your questions regarding he only wants the looms? Do you mean sexual intercourse? I really couldn't tell you that, you may know that better than i do.. i think your best bet is to take things slowly, if he is pushy and starts to want sex with you much too early then yes he only cares about what he's getting out of the situation. But i haven't seen anything from your comment that suggests he is just after that..
Thanks for the compliment on the article. Feel free to come back if you need more advice. I wish you luck :)
jojojoannnaaaa on April 27, 2015:
this guy i knew for 2 years now has started to show ibterest. The thing was before i shifted here we just go to know each other like a month or 2 before i came here and hed call me beautiful and stuff...but then later when i saw me in real he was a bit disappointed coz (a) i dint look the way he expected me to look and (b) turns out i wasn't as social as he thought u was..im ectrenneely introverted. He doesn't really like introverted people...but he still spoke to me....hed tease me calling me fat and stuff..im not really that fat..i told him i felt bad and he apologised. Later i made it a point to socialise more with him and his fruends....that's when he started asking me questions about my datung life...after a year of knowing each other...now he asks. He asked when was the last time i dated someone and if i could date anyone....then the other day he saw pictures of me at a party. I dressed up reall goood that day. He saw rhe pics and said i looked the most beautiful hed ever seen me ever. And ever since then hes gotten all flirty and extra close...things like walking near small boys playing (whuch could lead to me getting i jured) he pushed me away and put himself near them so id be out of their reach..so they wouldn't hurt me. The. Every time id get hurt even a tiny jolt hed ask me if i was okay.....is this guy real?? Hes always had this thing where hed date soneone perfect..only when he finds the perfect girlll...and i haven't seen him blush for a girl until today.....me....and i saw his hand too it had both our initials and a heart.
is he an ass who cares about the looms or the realll deal?
Jay Rando (author) from England on March 15, 2015:
@Prince Bethel. Thanks for the compliment and the ratings (if you gave them lol). It is indeed hard to let go of someone you love.. its once we realize its OK to do so.. or that it is best for us when we feel ok doing it more consistently. I personally think that a person should never let a faith come between love.. if you really and truly need to have someone love you who is of similar faith then you will need to find the kind of places where these people with the same/similar faith hang out.. but as i said sometimes we can be limited if we let faith dictate who we can and can't date, keep an open mind to that. Why is it so important that you find someone of the same faith? To me love is love.. a faith cannot come between loving someone and i will never force someone to have the same faith as me, if there arent many people with the same faith then it really comes down to whether you are ok with putting faith second to your happiness, sometimes that must be done.. Good luck
Jay Rando (author) from England on March 02, 2015:
@shahsadah. Hi there and thanks. Can you tell me why you did not like it? I always welcome criticism.. but would like to know specifically what you did not like about it.. Feel free to tell me what it is your not keen on in the article, in the end it helps me and everyone else here for sure. Cheers
Jay Rando (author) from England on February 23, 2015:
@Ashlet. I noticed you come back for more help so i wrote a longer comment :) So do you feel nothing will happen because hes not the forward type? Is he shy etc? I think in today's age if you want something you should go for it.. most of us in the beginning are not confident at reading the opposite sex or our love interests, i see many people that are reading someone correctly and many that are taking very minor signs and turning them into something bigger than they actually are. If you don't know which of those two relate to you then the best bet is just to ask him if he fancies hanging out, a lot of people tend to think they must either say "i like you and have feelings for you" or "i want to ask you on a date".
You don't need to do either of those.. image you just made a new friend (female friend for example) and you said "hey do you fancy doing something this weekend?".. i can bet you that isn't hard really is it? is it hard to ask any of your friends, sisters, brothers or relatives that question? Of course not.. so why is is to hard when it comes to your crushes? The answer is that you are putting pressure on yourself to say and do the right thing in his presence because of this obsession you have over him and the signals he has been giving.
So skip asking him out in the traditional way, simply say "hey do you fancy hanging out sometime?".. and you will have your answer, notice how you don't show you are clearly interested by saying that? And yet you make it clear you think hes interesting enough to hang out with. If you can get him alone you will probably have a better idea of whether hes into you. I have known many girls down the years who would pretend not to see a guy because they didn't know what to say or simply to get the guy to come to them which makes me laugh because its crazy but cute.. lots of guys in that situation read it as HER ignoring him because she dislikes him or thinks little of him haha.
In speaking to him you need to find things that you both can relate to, if you can find those things then speaking to him will be much more easier, you don't need to even talk to him a lot, simply say hi or ask him how he is doing and other simple questions. That way you kind of drop hints he is likable and worth talking to and he might then consider coming to you to ask you questions. How do the two of you relate? School? Work? What studies do you share? What homework do you share? What hobbies or interests do you share? These are you talking points.
If he was your brother, sister or a friend how would you speak to them? Why can't you speak to him like you do to them? Don't get me wrong, i know its tough, i was in your spot years ago.. but at some point you must become more forward, the more time you spend thinking about him and these signals the more pressure you put on yourself. If you choose not to go for it that is also up to you but i think people tend to make a mountain out of a molehill when all they really have to do is PRETEND that they are not their crush, when you speak to him don't speak to him in a way where you think you must come away with something, just practice speaking to him first, you will feel less pressure this way and your confidence will build over time in speaking to him. Good luck
Jay Rando (author) from England on February 12, 2015:
@leena. Your right it could be to make the friend jealous. However if that isn't the case perhaps he is just seeking comfort, maybe he is hurt over the rejection from the other gal? Its hard to say, he could really like you or just be using you to make her jealous.. i cannot tell which just from your comment so i would advise just looking out for signs to see if he really is playing games. But what i do not understand is that you said you hope he does not like you? Do you not like this guy? Were you just curious of whether he was into you? I do think avoiding him is probably the best bet.. maybe NOT completely but if you feel hes doing it to make the other girl jealous then yes i agree with not getting caught up in that.. If the guy actually DOES want you more than HER (and you like him back) i think he will try harder personally, if he is airing his relationship with you and mentioning it to everyone and showing off then yes the likelihood is that there is an ulterior motive, am sure you know what that means. Good luck
Jay Rando (author) from England on February 12, 2015:
@zimelle. Well you bond well and your friends think he likes you..But you say you feel hes into you too.. All good.. I'd like to say hes into you, perhaps he has a good reason for not saving it.. if he however has your number and hasn't used it then he might simply not be interested.. but i get some feeling he hasn't actually got your number or something is a miss here.. i feel like some important information is missing here or your not telling me everything. I would like to say he likes you because it certainly does sound it by the blushing and being really happy around you.. i hope that is the case and he asks you out soon.. or perhaps you could ask him out? It is 2015 after all! :) Keep me posted. Good luck
prince bethel from Africa on February 07, 2015:
Great hub, I find it interesting, awesome, and beautiful. Enjoyed reading it. I find it hard most of the time to let go of someone I love, except something strange and unusual happens. Now if I come to love a girl deeply, and later i come to find out that my faith and hers are different, what happens? What step am I supposed to take to make it work? Because letting go of someone your heart has already accepted will create a long lasting ache in your life, which no guy like me will never like to experience.
shahsadah on January 23, 2015:
this article was good but i don't like it
Ashlet on January 12, 2015:
Hey I asked you for advice a couple of months ago, I don't know if you remember (probably not as you probably have much more important things to remember). Whether you do or not is unimportant, as I decided to come back for more advice.
I've been spending more time with my crush in a 'friends' setting and I think he does like me, which is great, but also it seems as if nothing will ever happen between us if I don't do something. But at the same time I'm too scared I'm reading the signals wrong to actually do try anything. Like everything I think is him flirting I end up over thinking and convincing myself it's just an accident or coincidence or I'm reading to much into it.
And I've gotten really annoyed with myself for being too much of a chicken to just ask him out, or even drop anything real hints. I feel pathetic every time I see him somewhere and I can't think of anything to say to start a conversation so I just pretend not to see him.
I think the worst part is it's not like nothing is happening, so I can't force myself to get over him. But at the same time I'm not sure what's happening and it's happening so so so slowly, that I spend much more time wondering whether he actually is looking AT me or just TOWARD me
No rush on replies, and thanks for any advice.
leena on January 08, 2015:
Hey...i have quite a common issuse...my guy best friend liked my bestfriend n used to hang out a lot with her and texted her like everyday and then finally asked her out but she said they were just good friends...after that he started hanging out with me not very often but ya usually and texts me everyday...i took it quite normally as i thought he was hanging with me to make my friend jealous and i played along cuz he thinks that my friend does like him but rejected him cuz shes not into dating...now the thing is that my friends think that he started liking me now and is using the 'to make her jealous' reason just to stay around me..i think this is nonsense as we're just bestfriends but this has lead me think that maybe they're right or maybe not...im just hoping he doesn't like me as i think my friend has started liking him now and i do not want to be the cause of any kind of rift...also im kind of avoiding him now...not to much but just a little...please tell me what u think..
zimelle on January 08, 2015:
Hey jay...there's this guy whom i met through a friend..we meet often...although we met not very long ago we bond quite well...my friends hav noticed his behaviour and hav told me that he likes me...after hearing this i paid close attention to his behaviour and i too felt that maybe he likes me...although we don't talk much on chat he seems really happy around me and this makes me think that he likes me a lot...now here's the trouble..it's been a while and he hasn't asked me out yet..and im curious as to why he hasn't..one more thing he doesn't hav my number although i texted him n we chat somethimes..he hasn't saved my number yet...and whenever we meet up his friend tells me that he (the guy who likes me) wants my number and he says it in front of that guy and he (my guy)says i was hoping my friend would help me get it(my number) n he blushes when he says this...i wonder why he hasn't saved it yet as i hav messaged him a couple of times....please tell me what's going on..
Jay Rando (author) from England on December 20, 2014:
@erorantes. Hey there and thanks for the compliment; feedback and compliments are always welcome :) Love is an awesome thing, i think what i like most is that i get to advise people who come to this page and helping them or putting them in the right direction is always fun and enjoyable for me. If i can help i can and i will.. i think the most important thing you can get from this is that its so so important to get a good grasp of reading people not just as a way of finding out if someone likes you but to also understand what level their interest is currently at as well.. Cheers
Deborah Demander Reno from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD on December 15, 2014:
I just got friend zoned. Dang it.
Jay Rando (author) from England on November 29, 2014:
@Sachin Thakral. You have a point, asking for a number is a weaker sign or one that doesn't always translate to liking romantically.. however i must say that this signal was not written by me personally but my editor who added it to the list. Personally i might edit/change that point up at a later date as i don't fully agree with it 100% either.. however the rest on the list are all good signals. I could however address that asking for a number could mean more if the guy is shy or rarely asks for peoples numbers, in that case we could say the signal makes more sense. Either way thanks for the suggestion. Cheers
Ana Maria Orantes from Miami Florida on November 04, 2014:
I like your article. The pictures and your writing makes sense. It is a fact. Men who likes a women behave the way you are describing in the article's scenario. It is a beautiful feeling when both the men and women like each other. They can have the best time of their life. Any place or any activity. Thank you for writing a beautiful romantic hub mister jayrando.
Sachin Thakral on November 03, 2014:
I don't think asking for a phone number is that mean,he is interested in you. Many friends of mine ask for a number. But non of them show any interest in me.give little gifts is also a. sign of get your work from her.
Jay Rando (author) from England on October 20, 2014:
@jessica. It is hard to be in this position, no doubt. Your hoping he likes you more than her and that him going for you meant he would never go back to his ex, now your having a hard time accepting that he went back because you thought he would be all yours.. the fact he has gone back to the ex is a sign he obv likes her more.. that is indeed the harsh truth, if he wanted to be with you he would be with you right this minute and the ex would be his permanent past! He is having his cake and eating it.. and you are wanting what you can't have (him!). Obviously he finds you attractive as he hooked up with you but just because someone finds you attractive doesn't mean he perceives you as the 'most attractive'.
You need to look elsewhere and not be this person on the side, you deserve better than that.. you could be waiting for a chance with him that never comes, your time would be best spent moving on and getting over this guy. If he does want to give it another go he knows where to find you.. in the mean time there are so many other guys out there who can give you the kind of relationship you want. Don't settle for scraps, find a guy who will choose 'you' and not someone who will put you on the side as a backup and play head games with you, if he wants you he will make it known clearly and directly, otherwise ignore the signs as he can only take advantage of knowing that you like him.. Good luck
Jay Rando (author) from England on October 10, 2014:
@candy love. Like i said before i reckon hes into you, i don't have any doubts. His leg shaking is likely nervousness unless hes doing it to keep his leg warm.. but as you said hes doing it only when your around so hes likely nervous. He is looking at you probably as to see if you are looking back to see if you interested in him too.. or he simply admires how you look and admires you as a person and can't keep his eyes off you. In the end it really comes down to who he likes more.. its him who is going to make the decision on who hes like best. Let's wait n see. Some people can like more than one person at a time. I think your best bet is to get to know him a bit more as that might make the difference.
Your friend could be lying, she might be into him herself so wants to pretend you don't have chance with him.. or she could be telling the truth... BUT i think more importantly is that HE might like you and the other girl at the same time, this is always possible! You have to remember that some people can be very competitive so its likely that some of the girls who like that guy that you are friends with probably want to pretend he likes them more etc.. i don't want to tint anyone here with a bad brush but sometimes people can be in it all for themselves. Good luck
Jay Rando (author) from England on October 03, 2014:
@chandigarh calling. Thanks for the comment :) I agree with you.. shy guys will rarely make the first move, their lack of self-confidence in themselves holds them back so much around gals they like. I like what you said too about guys like a girl that feel for them.. i think guys can be really clueless as well and sometimes just getting a few more hints might make him feel more comfortable to approach.. i definitely think shy people will feel more comfortable talking to their crush in person once they have spoken to them a bit online as well. Cheers
jessica on October 01, 2014:
Theres this guy who was my ex crush...recently he broke up with his girlfriend and we be began a friends with benefits relationship which included everything besides sex..now we've stopped with the friends with benefits cuz he made up with his girlfriend but ive fallen for him again n can't tell him cuz he mentioned that I shouldn't fall for him during this relationship..but here's where the problem starts wheneber we're with our friends he keeps giving me these intense looks which only someone in love would do..although I like the way he looks at me im confused because if he doesn't like me then why does he look at me this way??and if he does like me then why is he still dating her?? I have no idea what's going on...please help!
candy love on September 29, 2014:
thanks but when i sit next to him he starts to shake his leg you know how you do when you get nervous but it is every time.. he doesn't do that with other people or girls so i'm like do i smell which i shouldn't 'im clean like what is it and we have to turn around to see the board and when we watch videos i can feel him and see him looking at me.. but my friend said that he likes another girl but i don't think that is true because he is not a shy person he is outspoken and when he is around that girl she said he likes he is not nervous scared and he didn't even ask her out yet i see him tomorrow i will see what happens... and the girl that she said he likes likes him too and she is my friend... so i don't know what to do
Jay Rando (author) from England on September 24, 2014:
@candy love. Staring is usually always a good sign.. hes either staring because he likes you or because hes purposely trying to freak you out.. my thinking is the former.. if he keeps appearing where you are then its a good sign too, people tend to hang out in places where their crush is so anytime he is close to you or hanging in the same places then he wants to get closer to you without making it too obvious that hes into you.
Right now all it takes is one of you to break the ice.. possibly he is scared to ask you out so all i can recommend here is to drop some hints and he might be more confident in approaching and talking to you. What i do know is that it is highly likely he is into you and i think it would be worth talking to him and see how he acts when he is speaking to you. Good luck
Jay Rando (author) from England on September 15, 2014:
@liss. If you always catch him looking at you he probably likes you, after all we don't always look at something we don't like right? :) I think that unless your wearing something or doing something that stands out too much then yes hes into you, you appeal to him in some way.. The fact he started talking to you I'd say he likes you. He probably just needs to get to know you a bit more before asking you out.. :) Good luck
Jay Rando (author) from England on September 15, 2014:
@liveinthemoment26. Him trying to outdo you is possibly just his way of indirectly flirting with you. Your mum might be correct.. however i would wonder why he is insults you, what kind of insults are you getting? Are they really insults? It seems a little odd that he acts like your friend sometimes then not. How often are you looking at him? Does he feel uncomfortable when you look at him? I can only that you should see how things pan out over time, its possible he has feelings for you but I'd need to know a bit more, it may also be that he doesn't like you and just doesn't like something about you (there is that possibility). But if you get anymore signs feel free to let me know, then i will have a clearer picture :) Good luck
chandigarh calling on September 13, 2014:
shy guys are just like that. they always feel hesitant to initiate first move. some times girls make very serious face when the guy would be bit more nervous or scared. in case u are having serious crush over the guy there are so many methods like telephone or internet through which u can share or contact with the guy. from my personal point of view, guys always look fro girl who feel for them. Some time signals are not so loud and clear and are mixed signals. so take my advice and be bold enough to face the guy. in case he sees you just give glaze and see through his eyes with gentle smile.
Jay Rando (author) from England on August 30, 2014:
@Christina. You need to make a decision and stick to one.. one minute your deciding your moving on then another your not moving on.. make a decision and stick to it, stop messing around.. All this going back and forth makes it seem like you have little options in your life, you don't date other men? Why not? There are plenty of men who think more of you than just someone to have sex with.
Going by your comment it is obvious you want more than sex, you want a serious long term relationship.. obviously this guy cannot give you that and your trying to constantly negotiate with him to get him to give you what you want and YET in 5 years time you could STILL be here negotiating a deal.. Next he will be telling you to remain single for the rest of your life so you can save yourself for him. Focus on another man who can give you what you want.. From my point of view your just wanting to do the benefit thing because you hope it will lead to something more (no it wont make the relationship stronger)..
He's already told you where he stands on it and gave you a vital clue by saying he will only give physical benefits.. he can travel all that way to have sex but no relationship? Sounds like complete BS to me! This isn't love.. IF you can travel all that way for sex then you can travel all that way for a RS! Not to mention one minute he just wants sex and then another he doesn't.. the last thing he would want to do is meet you for sex if he loved you..
Stop putting your life on hold for this guy and go date someone closer to home, you are too entranced in this fairy tale love romance because you have no other guys you are interested in so you remain focused on this one guy who gives you some attention.. Unless you both can agree to live within distance of each other and both agree to a proper RS soon then you will you be given the short end of the stick option, that is either wait around forever to be nearer to each other or have him not allow you to move on and date other guys. Even if he does like you back its pointless.. nothing is going anywhere here.. Good luck
candy love on August 28, 2014:
there is this guy that ive liked for some time now and when he sees me all he does is stare, it gets really uncomfy and every time i walk passed him he just stares... sometimes he is always near me like when im there he is just randomly there too idk but there is this new guy he like no words he just very very pretty lol he hasn't noticed me yet i try to walk in his path or something doesn't work but anyway please help thank you
Jay Rando (author) from England on August 22, 2014:
@Talitha. Hi there.. We all have our own preferences so i think its fine.. i think his teasing and touching you is his way of flirting so that's a good sign. His compliment was also a good sign. The breakup might have been hard on him or perhaps it was awkward after the breakup, sometimes some people simply don't want to talk to their exes or exes friends after a split for a good while so perhaps that is why he did this.
If he is not over his ex perhaps let him get over her first.. perhaps he does like you but is still processing his feelings and getting over the other girl. If he is interested he will be back i'm sure, give him some space for a while, if you want to you can always let him know your there if you need him but personally he is probably avoiding all of you until he is over the breakup. If however he did the dumping then that would be confusing, he probably just feels awkward.
I would not be too mad at him unless hes ignoring you as he walks past you.. but admittedly most people do ignore their exes after breakups including their friends, its usually just one way of dealing with it i suppose.. but like i said give him a chance, hes probably very hurt or feeling awkward about it. I would also say there is a very big difference between ignoring someone in person and over phone/internet. The latter isn't as bad, the former is kind of rude. You could also confront him calmly and just ask him why he has not been speaking as much and ask him if he wants to hang out some time. Good luck
liss on August 15, 2014:
Look I need help there's a cute boy in my class I always catch him looking at me and today he kinda talked to me what does this mean
Jay Rando (author) from England on August 07, 2014:
@janice. Janice just to clarify when you say you're in love do you mean the guy who didn't give any signals? If you have showed him you like and you were obvious about it then i am surprised he has not made a move, but the fact he is distancing himself isn't a great sign. Why do you not talk anymore? I think you need to get to the bottom of why this is.. however if he doesn't know you're into him then whether you tell him or show him is up to you, he might not think your into him or maybe he does but he moved on? Hard to say..
Does he make any effort with you? Why has your friendship become less? I will need to know more about this to really form a view of what has happened.. why don't you just make the effort to talk to him and see if he makes the same effort back? for all i know he could think you have been avoiding him and feels you don't like him.. or it could be the opposite way around, perhaps there is a reason he stopped talking to you as much. Try talking to him and see if he tries to keep your friendship going. Good luck
Jay Rando (author) from England on August 07, 2014:
@puppylover. I am not sure what you meant by your comments but i think a "i love you too" can mean something but its not enough to really go off.. he could just be being friendly, i would check for other signals. But it seems you know hes into the other gender now so perhaps you have the conclusion you were hoping for? Feel free to come back anytime you need any advice on a new guy you might like. Good luck
christina on August 02, 2014:
Im back again!..soo he decided to not shift to another country but he did consider it. This guy says hes a virgin but he has this way of flirting with girls and talking dirty to me quite nayurally...soo i kinda doubt the "im a virgin" part..we have had many fights recently..i confessed that ive fallen in love with jim and he said he was getting there too as he spoke to me a lot. More than anyone. Sooo there were times where i wud tell him i needed to stay away from him coz i needed to get over him. He said he wouldn't allow me to do that. He said he would never allow me to forget him. He wants me to like him forwver. (I seriously don't get that!! Help me out?) And then i ask if hes gonna do this until his feelings go aaay and he said his feelings for me would never ever go away. He said we couldn't datr coz wed be able to meet only once a year. So he said he would like us to have our "benefits" as that's what we both really want. I guess that happens when a girl loves a guy ryte? She wants to give him her all. Now i know he may sound and look like a player but here's the catch. Ive fought bout wanting more and doing it with him wud make me want him even more..hence i wudnt be able to do it. He agreed to it but asked if qe could at least make out...now this has been the 15th tine we gought in 3 months bout the SAME THING. And hes still there hes patient..understanding and he hasn't backed out or left. I askd him why he wouldn't let me go he said he liked me too much to let me go away. But then afain hed bring up the physical relationship with "no emotional feelings involved" topic again and it confuses me so i had said yes last time and mentioned im ginna stop liking him after two years and he said he wouldn't let me... he also said if i did stop loving him we wud eventually stop talking and he dint want that. We video chatted a week ago and he wants to again. Even though we fought and eventhougj i was incredibly rude and insulting to him. He said he wanted to see me and he missed me a lot! I dont get it..does he have feelings? When i ask him if its just physical and nothing more? He says onbiously not just physical. Soo what is it then?? Pleaase help! Thanks in advance!! Ps he also says he only wants to do it with ME!!
Jay Rando (author) from England on July 21, 2014:
@Cici. I am sorry to hear about your situation with this guy.. buy perhaps you dodged the wrong type of guy though in the end. I don't know if im reading right but it sounds like he still liked his ex and didn't want you to know.. possibly didn't want to hurt your feelings so he pretended nothing was happening with his ex. NEVER focus your time on guys like this one.. i understand its easy to get sucked into liking guys but i think you have learnt a lot from this situation so next time you will be extra cautious and not let yourself get as involved again as you did with this guy.
I cannot really give you any advice other than to focus on guys who will be more mature and up front about what they want.. But i think focusing on your studies is more important anyway.. guys aren't the journey.. guys come and go on the journey.. Its possible he might try to make it up to you somehow but i would not willingly take it back so easy. There are also plenty of other guys out there worth it compared to this guy. Good luck
Jay Rando (author) from England on July 21, 2014:
@Ashlet. This might require you to look over the room at him and make sure he catches your glance so he knows you are like looking at him (this is your.. i'm watching you and liking you type look). He should catch on that your into him. If catching his eye often doesn't work then you will either have to get out of your comfort zone and speak to him yourself or give up. Life is too short to let these chances pass but hopefully he will ask you out at some point.
He might be showing off to get you to like him.. his way of impressing you.. men often do a lot of showing off, bragging or trying to impress you type behaviors in their younger years. I cannot see why he would tell you and no one else unless he likes you and wants to impress you.. if you TWO have always been friends then it might just be your closer to him than anyone else.. The fact he agrees with you almost always or helps with things your having trouble with is generally a good sign he likes you..
i would try doing something such as asking him if he could help you with some homework after school or something (if hes that into you he will stay behind, sacrifice his time and help you). Of course you could also ask if he wants to hang out sometime or go see a movie, its not like your directly asking him for a date so if he says no to hanging out then at least you know where you stand with this.
The times he watches you struggle may just be because hes waiting for you to ask him for help.. His sarcasm might just be his way of flirting, his not allowing you to play with his sword might just be his way of getting your attention and singling you out.. personally i could see him doing that because he wants to make you think "why can i not play with the sword!?". He gets you thinking about him.
There is a great chance he likes you but i cannot be 100% certain.. i do wonder if his friends don't like you he may be treating you differently because of that but like i said i think its more likely he likes you.. Watching YOU when your not looking 90% of the time means he likes you.. hes just afraid to admit his feelings.. hes not shy around other girls probably because he likes you, think about it :)
PS: you are not bothering me.. i am just very busy these days.. so comments may have weeks or even months between them.. I appreciate the compliment though, thank you.. be sure to come back if you need any more advice. Good luck
liveinthemoment26 on July 20, 2014:
Ok, me and guy play the same sport and I see him about once or twice a werk. Him and I are always trying to outdo each other in whatever we are doing. Some days when I talk to him he is nice and we talk for a long time, but other times when I talk to him he is mean and insults me (mostly). Sometimes I catch him looking at me (when Im trying to look at him) and sometimes he just glares at me. My mom thinks we like each other (howd she guess I like him?) . Does he like me? And how can I become better friends with him?
Christina on July 18, 2014:
So me and this guy have been friends for over two years now. I had a major crush on him and he admitted to liking me too. But he had a gf at that time. We did go for a few hangouts and we kissed many times. Yes, i noe it wasn't a good move and we both feel extreemely guilty for what we did. I soon had to move to another country. He then admitted to really liking me a lot and soon our conversation took a physical turn. It turned into sexting and we'd talk for hours and hours. Not a single day has gone by without us talking to each other. he then said he wanted a physical relationship with me as dating was impossible as we were miles away. I agreed to the dating part but not to the physical part. I confronted him about him having a gf and why he would do something like that if he loved her. He said he dint actually love her, feelings were fading away and they were having terrible fights and their relationship just wasn't going anywhere. We had a few rough patches in the middle where i would stop talking to him for 1-2 days max and hes mssg me asking me what was wrong (ps- i did that coz i needed to get over him) He said he would never allow me to stop talking to him and he dint want me to lose my feelings for him. he later said that his feelings were love and lust. He's a virgin ..20...So finally i said i dint wanna like him anymore so we decided to had a Friends with benefits kinda thing. but swore it wouldnt effect our friendship. Just recently he told me hes planning to shift to another country which is just an hour away from the country i live in. I asked him if he was ready to leave his girlfriend and everyone else there. he said yes because i want you. (me)
My question here is...his intentions are purely physical i get that..but would a guy move to another country just to pursue a Friends with benefits relationship?? he said if he does move he would meet me twice a month. That's the reason he wanted to move. I don't get it. All this just for a Friends with benefits thing??
Talitha on July 07, 2014:
Also, I'm a blackie!!!!!!! And I would like to know if it's okay that I don't seek a relationship with any other "blackies" lol this is my list
Lol I loooooovve my top three =D
Talitha on July 07, 2014:
Omg so like me and this guy Gerardo were like best friends and we go to school and church together. So we are very close and all that you could easily spot us chatting or him attempting to make me( I'm not ticklish) but anyway we would be on my phone playing games or he'd be insulting all my contacts on my phone. He was the nicest cutest sweetest crush I've ever had, but he was also the teasing type who would punch me or pull my hair and I remember this one time where he had complimented me by saying, " you look nice today" anyway we were basically inseparable I mean if he was at my house we would be laying on the sofa watching powerpuff girls together. He is supposed to be one grade ahead of me but in seventh grade he failed so now he is going to eighth while I'm starting high school, but while I was in eighth grade he dated my friend( which I didn't have a problem with) and when they broke up he stopped talking to me, her, and another friend of mine he had dated and he hardly comes to church although I see his mom. I'm just really confused because now I'm pretty sure he had likED me and now I feel all regretful and stuff and so I'm not even sure if there's a chance anymore especially with us going to separate schools and him hardly coming to church but I'm mad because he doesn't give a reason for him to ignore. I mean he can go ahead and ignore me but before you do tht please tell me why. Please help me
janice on June 29, 2014:
Me n this guy were inseperable best friends..but he secretly had a soft corner for me n never told me while i was into someone else...he never even gav me any signs..then i liked him n he ws cool with it when i told him but we never dated n now i think im in love with him n am not sure if hes into me but we barely talk now so i don't know how to let him know or find out if hes got someone in his life...plz help n tel me wat u think...
puppylover on June 13, 2014:
nevermind he is funny...like u know...no interested in girls....but the other gender
puppylover on June 10, 2014:
okay so this guy and i started to txt like a day ago and i said love ya and he said love u 2. i don't like him like i mean i like him just not that way(he is cute though). does you you mean something diff than ya
Jay Rando (author) from England on May 31, 2014:
@Miranda. I think the guy is disrespectful of his GFs feelings for going behind her back with you with intentions of trying to get with you. He is playing the both of you.. that isn't to say he doesn't want a real relationship with you but the guy is predictable and he knows what he is doing.. I think he either wants to stay in touch for possible relationship with you or he just wanted to see if he could get some sex or something before he moved house/place whatever.
I personally think hes looking for your approval on whether he can date you or not so he can leave his current relationship.. its not a good way of teaching someone to respect you (or his gf for that matter) by letting him do this stuff to you.. And C'mon you know he likes you, its just whether that liking you is real interest or just sexual interest. I think he may genuinely like you and want a proper relationship but I would need more info on what else he does.
Like i said I can't tell if he is in it just for sex or not but this may his way of telling you he wants you more than his GF (can't really give you a definite though).. And yes its likely an ego boost to know some guy who has a GF already likes you but imo its time to move on from this and seek guys you do like.. now unless you secretly really do like him and want him to leave his GF for you then the only thing you could do is get his contact details to stay in touch.. Good luck
Cici on May 24, 2014:
I Know school is almost over and all. But this week i was walking up the stairs that i usually walk up to, too get to stairs to get to 6th period and i was walking and i saw E and his ex girlfriend doing what E usually does to me holding her hand and grabbing her and stuff and when i was walking to the top stairs i took a quick glance at them and ignored what was going on but i did notice E was staring at me and when he saw me he quickly let go of her hand and left the staircase and i was right behind him cause i was already about to leave and we're walking right next to each other and he just basically ignored me till he got to his class.
On that moment I FELT LIKE A REAL DUMBASS idk why i guess for believing that he wasn't an ass that just wanted my attention or that i had a chance tbh i just really don't know anymore i just feel so stupid wasting half of my 8t grade year playing a game with a 7th grader i shoulda jus sticked to my own grade like really i jus been sucked into his game and he coulda at least explained something about or break the tension by saing hi or something but he didn't.
That's why a couple days later i was taking the usual steps to 6th period and he was trying to talk to me nd i jus kept it short by not really saying anything to him and most likely i probably had him guessing why she not tlking to me or sum.
Anyway can i please have some advice on this please. Thank you
Jay Rando (author) from England on May 23, 2014:
@Cici. No worries. You have to remember that guys his age (or emotional maturity) are probably just trying to see how many girlfriends they can get.. i think that he likely finds you attractive but then it wouldn't surprise me who else he finds attractive. I think he is just trying to improve his skills or conquests really.. he has very sexual attitude towards you so while i am sure he likes you he may also just be trying to see who will fall for him. I think that your best bet is to talk to him when you get chance and see what his real deal is.. at some point he needs to man up and just tell you what he wants from you or at least show it.
I know one thing: a guy would not kiss girls he thought were unattractive nor would he touch them.. well unless he was trying to make another girl jealous. I think he needs to be more up front with you though.. I think going by this you are just enjoying his attention but truthfully he is sounds like either a game player or someone who likes to have lots of options and cop a feel. It is also likely he just wants sex if he is always touching you inappropriately or looking at your boobs, after all its been all this time and he still hasn't asked you to hang out at the weekend or anything. If he doodles his exes name my opinion is that hes not completely over her, he may still like her. Unfortunately this is the only advice i can really give you at the moment. Good luck
Jay Rando (author) from England on May 23, 2014:
@funny pepper. Late response, i think it is possible he does it because he likes you. I think there is more impetus for a guy to run around for a girl he likes or be nicer to a woman he likes, its just in our nature to do it as guys. So my guess is that he does like you if hes doing it for you but not for them.. the only way i cannot see this being interest is if he doesn't know anyone else beside you. Good luck
Ashlet on May 13, 2014:
There is another thing I just thought of. He treats me differently... then like everyone. Not in a good way either
He's never truly mean or bad or anything, but like to other people he's not as sarcastic. He's even admitted that I'm treated differently, like if someone else wants to play with his sword they can, but I'm absolutely not allowed (though I can usually talk him into letting me, after a bit of mock fighting).
If I say something goofy, he will tell me straight out how weird I am.
He also smiles around other people more easily, which is one of the reason I think he doesn't like me. Like when there are people around he doesn't smile at me as much as he smiles for everyone else. But if we're alone he will smile at something that he would have rolled his eyes at if someone were around. He does sweeter things for me so long as I'm not there, or if I am then no else can be.
WHY???? I could understand if he's shy, but he's not shy around other girls. I could understand if he didn't like me, but then why does he always stand so close to me and watch me whenever I'm not looking.
If I'm bothering you, you can tell me. I won't mind, but your advice seems better then half the stuff I find with Google...
Ashlet on May 04, 2014:
How do you show someone you like them if you're shy?
I know a lot of his stunts aren't for attention, but I think some of them are for me. Like he kept telling me about how good at martial arts he is, and either he was 'showing off' or he was really proud... but if he was just proud why would he tell me(it wasn't something that just happened and he wasn't telling everyone)
I try to avoid needing help with anything so I'm not sure... but he does like to teach me things if that counts. Like anything he knows/thinks I would want to learn he will offer to teach me without me even asking. If I ask he will almost always agree to teach me, or if I'm having trouble learning something he will tell me I'll get it if I keep trying. But at the same time if I'm physically struggling with something(usually reaching something high) he will stand there and watch, though I've never asked for help...
I realize I'm probably not making this easy for you...
Miranda on May 04, 2014:
Update: well it seems he was busy. But i could swear he was acting different for a whole week after the kiss. But anyway he went back to his old self again which makes me incredibly happy. The part i dint mention was he has a girlfriend. And i know me kissing him was totally wrong!! i get it. But im never gooing to see him again since we're both moving away. And hes going to another city in 2 weeks. he called me and said he missed me and said he wants to meet me one last time. I told him the kiss was wrong and seeing him with his girlfriend made me feel horribly guilty. He said it would be a goodbye kiss. I then asked him why he wants to meet me soo bad. he said because he wanted to kiss me one last time. after a whole lot of discussing we finally came to an agreement saying that there wont be kissing and he said he would try his very best to controle himself. We're going for a movie as we did before. He said he wants to spend some more time with me. remember i mentioned the "touching" yea well he apoligised after he did it the last time. and we still joke about it and laugh it off. he asked me permissionif he could do it the next time. and i since i said im not comfortable with it he said we could just try it and then i could tell him then if its uncomfortable. he told me once that the kiss between us would increase his liking for me. And when i asked him about it after the kiss he said it did increase. and then later when it came to the "touching" he said i still like you as much as i did before. because i told him that touching would be weird because we arnt dating and my feelings have faded a bit since the kiss so i told him we don't like each other in that way either (assuming he doesn't like me anymore) he said he still does like me as much as he did before. and he'd be happy if i could be more open with him. it would bring us closer. he mentioned he liked me for a year. we've been friends for more than a year and in between a misunderstanding took place and we lost touch. that's when he started dating his present girl..
so my quesiont HERE ...AGAIN :P is....am i the only one or do u feel hes trying to take advantage too?? coz i kinda enjoyed the kiss and i took it in this reaaly playful way. I don't have feelings for him anymore. but do u thinkk hes just using me to just "get some"???
Thanks so much for your advice :)
Jay Rando (author) from England on April 30, 2014:
@joann. Hi again Joann.. hope you are doing well! You can't notice other guys because your not yet over the other guy, its very natural.. it might take you months to get over the other guy and to move on. All you need is a good dose of time and patience and things will go back to normal.. but you need to also focus your mind on other things other than this guy. When we idealize one person as being the one we want to be with above all else we always find it hard to find other people of the opposite sex as attractive. That's emotional attachment for you..
I guess a good analogy is that all this thinking is effectively put you in a hole you dug yourself.. you need to get out of that hole so that everything normalizes. You wont be able to notice other guys until you have allowed yourself to and gotten out of that drop.. Its like coming off a cigarette/smoking addiction and someone telling you to replace it.. most people just don't feel like having a replacement. Your finding it hard to find anything else GOOD right now because in your eyes nothing can replace it.. you have idealized the guy to death.. that's ok for now. Don't rush into finding guys to date, take it easy for a few months.
I think it is better to just take the approach that because hes 'taken' its better to get over him anyway. If by any chance hes single in a year or 2 time then perhaps something may form out of that but for now focus on mentally and emotionally getting over him. We can get anyone off our minds if we simply focus our minds elsewhere, find a hobbie or something your passionate about (art, music, writing).. that will help you normalize everything so you don't have a wandering mind as much. Take it easy. Good luck
Jay Rando (author) from England on April 30, 2014:
@Ashlet. Well you have a choice to either tell him you like or show him you like him and then wait for him to come to you ans ask you out, not really any other options.. Which you choose is up to you. If he is showing off then he likely likes you for sure, if you feel that his general 'stunts' as you call them are to get your attention or to show off to you how cool he is then yes hes into you.
Protective means he has a general caring attitude to you like he'll look after you or rather when you're in trouble or in struggle he likes to jump in help you and look after you.. if hes protective its generally the most biggest sign you could get. If you get that with him then hes definitely into you. Good luck :)