Andrea writes on various topics from dating, couples, astrology, weddings, interior design, and gardens. She studied film and writing.
What Do Girls Mean When They Text?
Girls often text differently from their male counterparts. If you're a guy, it can be tough to figure out what a girl really means.
Is she just asking for directions, or something more? Was that really just a picture of puppies? Once you understand how she's trying to communicate with you over text, it will be a lot easier to tell if she's interested.
Top 10 Signs She Likes You Over Text
Before we get into the details, here are the top ten ways you can know if a girl likes you through text. Below you'll find plenty more ways and lots of details.
- She texts you very frequently and often initiates conversation.
- She keeps the conversation going when she could have ended it.
- She sends you pictures, either of things that she thinks are funny or cute or pictures of herself.
- She replies to your texts quickly.
- She texts you at night.
- She uses lots of emojis and rarely gives you one-word answers to your texts.
- She sends you poetry, song lyrics, or articles that she likes.
- She asks you questions.
- She teases you.
- She asks to hang out with you or see you in person.
Subject: What Is She Texting You About?
This should be your first question: what is she talking about? And is there a deeper meaning beneath her words?
How to Interpret Lighthearted Texting
There are lots of fun, little texts that you may not even think about, but that also give subtle hints that this girl likes you and wants you to like her. Here are some signs to look out for.
- If she sends you a message that is meant to be taken as funny or random, and it's out of the blue, she probably wants to flirt with you.
- If she is asking for directions or something basic, she is probably only asking for directions.
- She'll bring up inside jokes as a way to break the ice.
- Any kind of "breaking the ice" topics are a good sign that she likes you. If you have no idea why she's starting a conversation through text and it seems comical, she definitely likes you.
- If she brings up anything featuring words such as: shower, bed, or clothing changes, she might be flirting. Girls are not as direct as guys and these seem like hot buzz words to throw to see if you react. Girls who do this might not be looking for a relationship, but something more short-term. Either way, they're probably being flirty.
- If she asks what you like about her looks, such as whether her hair is curly or straight, it's because she wants to know what appeals to you. Same goes with what colors suit her, which of her outfits you like best, etc.
- Girls may get weird or shy away if you become too overt or sexual. Be a gentleman to her so you don't freak her out. Girls are more sensitive in some ways about language, so consider the possible effect of an innocent innuendo about 5Xs before sending.
- She will have an assortment of nicknames for you. If you receive a message with more than ONE nickname, she likes you.
- If she calls you out for something or playfully teases you, she's comfortable with you and might be flirting.
- If she says, "EWWWWW!" or something of the sort . . . . that's not a great response.
- If she texts you about her family or pets, she probably wants you to know them and associates you with them, or is very close to her family.
- The same goes for texting you about anything positive or cute. She probably associates you with those feelings. Seriously, once I texted a guy about puppies that I saw from my car. I wasn't really texting him about puppies. I was really saying "I WISH YOU COULD BE HERE AND SEE THESE CUTE PUPPIES BECAUSE I LIKE PUPPIES AND I LIKE YOU AND YOU'RE CUTE!" Sometimes this is what women are really feeling and they try to tone it down so you won't run away. He ended up liking the puppy text, by the way. ;)
- If she compliments your strong arms, shoulders, or how you hug, she's trying to find a nice way to say she likes when you touch her.
- If she talks about other guys to you, this isn't good. Guys sometimes talk about the girls they like to the girl they really like; girls don't really do that. If they tell you about guys they like, most likely they see you as a friend. Girls keep their business private when they think they might have a chance with you.
Is She Texting You About Serious Subjects? She Seriously Likes You.
If a girl is texting you during tough times or about serious things in her life, and especially if she's allowing herself to be emotionally vulnerable with you, that's a huge deal because it means she trusts and respects you. Of course, a girl might trust and respect you and still only see you as a friend. The following are text message signs that will let you know that this girl really, really likes you.
- If she sends you a nice text after you have had a breakup with someone else, consider this a sign of careful interest. She's on top of what's going on, but she doesn't want to be a jerk and swoop in on you. Instead, she's checking in on you to see how you're doing and see if she can do something about it. She wants to be around you and to be there for you if you need it.
- If she texts you when there's a problem and she needs help. You're one of the few people she thinks will be handy in a situation that takes problem-solving, whether killing a spider, finding her keys, or comforting her when she is sad.
- If she writes to you talking about her day, she likes the attention you give her and she wants to open up to you. If she's talking a lot to you, she wants you to open up. She may not be sure how to get you to talk. Women love listeners, but they love when you talk too. They see it as an affirmation that the relationship isn't just one-sided.
- If she texts you a compliment, she might be thinking of you and missing you.
- If she texts you an "I miss you" out of the blue or after a long text conversation: sweet goodness, go meet up with her. She's either been dying to say that or has been thinking about you a lot. She is probably feeling like others don't compare. Because, you know, others don't compare. :)
- She'll give you advice. Girls know it's weird to give advice in a text message, especially long advice, but if she cares about you and notices something that you're doing is off, then she'll be dying to confront it. BECAUSE SHE CARES.
- If she texts you about events that are way out in the future, she might want you to accompany her and is telling you to keep your calendar free...for her. Women drop hints about what they want to do with you. They have visions about having fun, and they want someone to go with them, play games, eat food, and spend quality time.
- If she texts you an "I'm sorry" message, then she doesn't want to be on bad terms with you. She cares about you and about what you think of her. She probably really is sorry.
- If she texts you "I like you" or "I love you" multiply this by about 20. Unless she dishes that out to everyone, those words are gutsy.
- If a woman texts you when she is sad this can go two ways: 1.) Unfortunately, she may be manipulating you and knows that emotions will hook a guy, or 2.) She may need comfort and sees you as someone she can trust when vulnerable.
- If a woman is being vulnerable with you and is truly honest, that shouldn't be taken for granted. She probably MORE than likes you. Try to respect that vulnerability and act worthy of her trust.
Timing: When Is She Texting?
Timing and context are all important when figuring out text messages. How often does she text you?
Context: Trying to Meet Up
Are you trying to upgrade your interactions from social media to in-person hangouts? Here are some signs that will help you figure out if she'd like to do that, too, and if she is using text messaging to try and find a way to spend more time with you.
- If she mentions something that could be an activity, she's trying to gauge if you would like to do that activity with her. For example, "Do you like bowling?" means she wants to go bowling with you.
- If she texts you to try to meet up with you, she's trying to create a connection and see how you're doing. Questions such as asking you to do a favor for her, asking to borrow a book, or asking you to escort her through an unpleasant situation are all good signs. These are open-ended interactions that create an opportunity for you
- If she says she is busy, more than likely she'll try to schedule you in at another time right then and there. If she leaves it at ambiguous "busy" she's probably trying to be nice about letting you down, or she is completely booked (either way, it's better to leave the ball in her court.)
- If she makes up a ridiculous excuse like, "I have to watch my cat tonight." OR "I'm washing my hair tonight." Then you are the equivalent of dirt.
- If she texts you to see if you are going to a party, she more than likely wants to go with you or see you there.
What the Frequency and Timing of Her Texts Mean
Often, the amount a girl texts you is even more important than what she's actually texting. Time of day, frequency, and occasion can all be important clues as to how much a girl likes you. Here are some signs relating to not what she texts you, but when and how often.
- When a girl really, really likes you she will text you a lot. She may initiate several conversations, though this will frustrate her because she will think that you don't like her if you never initiate.
- If she texts you back when it's unnecessary, she wants to keep the conversation alive. Any part on her to keep the conversation alive, especially the longer it goes on, is an obvious indication that she enjoys talking/flirting with you.
- If she doesn't text back at all after several days, that's a big bad sign. Women don't typically do that. She may forget, but she'll usually send a courtesy text to apologize. Flat-out forgetting several times is weird.
- Some women are not as overt as others. Some women rely more on their sense of humor. There’s nothing wrong with her, she just prefers to be guarded rather than come off as a total flirtbag.
- Sometimes girls send you back a response to AFFIRM that they like you. Keep this in mind!
- Think in multiples of ten. For instance, 10 texts a day is a lot, 20 is very indicative, 30 is flat out obvious, with 40 you should go see her, and 50 is incredible.
- If she texts you on and off throughout an entire day, that is indicative...on both your parts.
- If she initiates some sort of texting game with you, she may be trying to gauge your interest and figure you out. This may be for fun, but the longer it continues, the more likely she is crushing on you.
- If she texts late at night, and it’s not a booty call, she likes you. She knows 1:00am is a strange time, and she would have to really trust and think you’re safe if she is texting you at that time.
- Girls will consistently text if they like you. They will try to figure out some sort of pattern. If you are getting a lot of texts in a week, month, year, two years—try thinking about all of it together.
- If she sends you texts every day, she likes you.
- If she texts you after a hangout saying that she enjoyed spending time with you, it is unlikely to just be courtesy.
- If she texts all your guy friends a whole lot, then she is either a big texter, or she is hoping one of you will get the hint.
- If she doesn't text you the day of her birthday or a few days after, you screwed up.
- If she doesn't text you when she is gone for a weekend and you are in a relationship, she might be considering breaking up with you.
Beyond Words: Pictures and Formatting
A Picture’s Worth a Thousand Words: Texting in Pics
If the girl you like is sending you pictures, that's a great sign. Usually, she'll either send you a picture of something she thinks is cool or funny (like a funny license place or a cute dog) or she'll send you pictures of herself. If she sends you pictures of other stuff, she's saying "This reminded me of you," or she simply likes you so much that she wants to share fun moments with you. If she's sending you pictures of herself, that's even better.
- She'll send you pictures of her animals that she thinks are cute because she hopes it'll make a positive impression, and because if she likes you, she wants you to like her animals as much as she does.
- If she sends pictures of herself to you: yeah, she likes you. Do not share pictures of her with your friends ever. It's for you.
- If she sends pictures with her face and she wants to show you her outfit, such as for school or work, she likes you in a serious way and wants your opinion.
- If you get pictures of certain specific body parts, something more scandalous, especially without her face visible, that probably means you are a booty call.
- If she sends you a lot of pictures that are just random: she likes you and wants to share little moments with you.
- If she posts pictures on her Instagram, count the amount that are related to you. The more the better. If she has lots of pictures with everyone, then this isn't as accurate.
- If she texts you back with a picture of something you gave her with smiley faces, she's trying to affirm that she likes you back, and she appreciates your gift.
- Girls are more likely to use smileys and exclamation marks than boys. The winky face is a dead giveaway. If there's an overabundance of smileys, exclamation marks, and overall excitement, that's also a positive sign.
Pay Attention to the Formatting and Length of Her Texts
After all, there's more to text messages than the words themselves. Length, syntax, even punctuation can be an indicator of whether a girl likes you. A general rule is: the more time she spends on a text for you, the more she cares about you and about what you think. So, longer texts, well-written texts, proper spelling: those are all good signs.
- You may get a few overwhelming, long-winded texts. It's not because she's crazy or doesn't know how to be concise, she really cares about you, and for whatever reason isn't given the chance to say some things straight to your face. She may give long winded advice or send you the longest rants of goofiness. Don't let it overwhelm you. Take it as a major compliment that she's crushing on you.
- It's a bad sign if a girl only texts you one word responses. Women generally hate receiving these and think something is wrong or you're just not interested. A one word response from a woman is frowned upon.
- If her texts become less excited, she may find the relationship less exciting. Even if the relationship is leveling out, encourage her crazy texting. Happy, fun texting is a good indication of relationship health. When it becomes only a means of contact and sorting affairs, you're getting dull.
- If her responses are flat, she may be busy. Do not immediately think she is annoyed. She may be...but consider that she might be busy.
- The words k, okay, and fine are not great indicators.
- Any form of XOXOXOX is a dead giveaway.
- If she communicates a lot with you in other written mediums, social networks, and emails, she likes you. Girls want to create a connection. They want responses so they can feel confident about your interest, and they want to figure out if you're right for them without being too obvious.
- Be cautious of drunk texts. These can be indicative, but sometimes girls just send drunken texts out of their ridiculousness and love for the world. Men drunk texting generally means more, especially if it doesn't have overt sexual tones.
- If she sends you poetry, such as haikus, she is trying to have fun with you. If this becomes a consistent thing, she likes you.
- If she sends you song lyrics, come on, seriously...she likes you.
- If she sends you a text with the worst grammar you have ever seen, bad spelling, no real thought: either she doesn't care or is drunk. Girls try to be particular about punctuation and crap, especially as they get older. High schools girls may be more into abbreviations and slang, but someone in grad school? Obviously, this stuff would be beneath them.
© 2013 Andrea Lawrence