Signs She Likes You Through Body Language
As far back as we can go in human history, men have been trying to figure out what signs a woman gives to let you know there's interest. Studies show that we as humans communicate a large percent through our bodies, and not just our voices. Think of the movie The Little Mermaid. Ariel loses her voice and has to convince a prince that he is in love using only her body language. Of course, an evil sea witch steps in and screw things up for the mermaid, but would Ariel have even taken this ludicrous challenge if it wasn't possible to win someone over this way?
Our bodies—from our heads to our toes—have their own ways of signaling what we're thinking. You can read body language cues not only to detect romantic interest, but also to see if someone is disloyal, annoyed, not feeling well, or comfortable around you.
Many women will subconsciously give off cues—sometimes calculated to get your attention. If you're unsure what to do when she's signaling interest, ask yourself first if you want to play along in the game. What you can do to reciprocate her interest is to copy her body language: Mirror her. Lots of sociologists find that mirroring is positively received. If she leans in for a cup of water, do it too; if she laughs, you should laugh too; if she gives hugs . . . you should too.
Some women are much more modest than others. Don't panic if she isn't giving you lots of body language and touch cues. Some people take some warming up to people before they want to make a romantic investment. If you enjoy spending time with her, then continue to do so regardless of what other dating advice, social cues, or monk mantra to which you prescribe. There are only two real reasons you should stop pursuing someone: (1) She asks you to stop; (2) She's already in a committed relationship with someone else.
Take a deep breath before reading the rest of this and remember: Stay cool, calm, and confident. Things likely will not pan out the way you think they will. Be secure in yourself, and you'll succeed in this arena of life. Don't lash out just because someone decides you're not their cup of tea. There are billions of people on this planet right now. There's a number of possibilities on how your romantic life could play out. Hopefully, that doesn't scare you. The less afraid you are of rejection, the better you'll be able to swim through these not so complicated waters.
Men, how well can you tell a lady likes you through body language?
Flirtatious Body Language
Dr. Albert Scheflen was an authority on verbal and non-verbal communication. He wrote that "when a person meets someone they are interested in, certain physiological changes take place. The muscle tone increases, body sagging disappears, the body assumes erect posture, and the person appears younger and more attractive. A man will stand taller, expand his chest and look more powerful and dominant, while the woman will tilt her head, and touch her hair while exposing her wrists. Body language reveals how available, attractive, enthusiastic, or even how desperate we are."
When it comes to romance, you want to mainly watch the following:
- Eyes Where exactly are they directing their attention? Pupils tend to dilate or get bigger when someone we like enters a room.
- Lips Are they smiling or frowning?
- Feet Where are they pointed?
- Hands What are they touching, holding, and do they seem jittery?
- Blushing or Sweating Check for sudden redness in the face and neck. Blushing, perspiration, and sweaty palms are good indications they might like you.
- Breathing Sometimes out of nervousness, we may become short of breath. Other times, someone may relax and take slower breaths when they're near the one they love.
Always consider the context and whether the attention you are getting is different from the attention paid to others in the room. How consistent is this person's behavior? Also, consider extenuating circumstances: Have they been drinking, or are they just acting a certain way for a performance?
Remember, not everyone is the same. This just serves as a guide to help you crack the code on whether she likes you or not.
20 Signs She's Into You
Fellas, women's body language is harder to read than yours because women are generally more discrete. As a woman, I'll share some insider information to help you figure out whether she likes you or not, is waiting to ask you out, or is about to ask you out herself.
- She preens her hair. Women tend to have their hands in their hair more when they like someone; it might be the shift in pheromones or just nervous energy, but it's a common sign she likes you.
- She attempts to sit by you or get close to you somehow. If the makes a point of sitting next to you or touching you, that may be a sign.
- She laughs at the smallest, goofiest, strangest things you do. She may laugh explosively or try to cover it up.
- She dresses better to attract your attention. She may wear nicer clothes, do her hair, or pay extra attention to her makeup. She'll keep adding something new to make herself sparkle and make you wonder, is she really getting more and more pretty?
- If she suspects that someone else is after you, her eyes may subtly reveal that she is jealous. She may look away or narrow her eyes if you mention someone else or if another female is near.
- She places her feet close to or pointing towards you. People are generally unconscious of their feet, and hers might be telling you something.
- She touches you. If she touches you on your arms or shoulders—anywhere, for any length of time—it might be a sign.
- She gets nervous. She may turn red or do something clumsy like drop things, trip on herself, or crash into a wall.
- She hovers nearby. You keep turning around and finding her close; at a dance, she looms nearby in the hope that you'll join or ask her to dance with you.
- You see her everywhere. She may follow you and appear at the most perfect times. Either she knows your schedule, or there is magic involved!
- She unconsciously mimics your actions. Picking up a glass of water at the same time, repeating things you say, or crossing her arms the same time you do.
- She may create opportunities for hugging. She may say goodbye, hello, or loom around a place in the hope that you will hug her.
- She pouts her lips to make a sad face and brings out the extra big eyes.
- She gives a coy half-smile. Almost as though half of her mouth grins to her ear while the other half stays still.
- She twirls her hair in her fingers or braids her hair excessively.
- She may get creative. She does something you'll remember her by, like drawing a bunch of weird pictures on a magazine you don't care about.
- Suddenly, she is wearing makeup.
- For no apparent reason, she randomly sings or whistles and occasionally laughs or blushes.
- She makes time to hang out with you. She pursues common interests.
- She holds your hand.
29 More Signs She's Into You
- She drops her head onto your shoulder. Extra points if she makes random noises when she does this. Our heads are incredibly vulnerable. Consider it a compliment if someone lays her head on you.
- During lunch, she'll play footsie while you wait for the meal. Though . . . admittedly, I don't think many women are that into footsie.
- She leaves behind jewelry at your place. It's really hard to tell if someone is doing this intentionally. You can ask to see if she's leaving behind reminders of herself.
- When she's upset about something, she'll confide in you and let you see her cry. This is a vulnerable side to her. Granted, some women cry a whole lot more than others... so don't get too excited if she has a soft heart.
- She'll gladly take your jacket off you if you offer it to her when she's cold.
- Pay attention to her eyes. Often when people like someone, their eyes get super shiny. See if their pupils dilate. Also, consider if the lighting might be extreme in the room and if there's a lot of reflection.
- She unconsciously licks her lips. Caution: Sometimes, people just have chapped lips.
- She may groom herself out of nervousness. Fiddling with buttons or brushing hairs off her coat. If she is playing with her hair, that's a big sign something is up.
- She avoids crossing her arms over her chest. Why? Because that makes her come off like a Negative Nancy.
- If she smiles more than frowns in your presence, this is an overall good sign. Whether romantic or not.
- She may seem relaxed around you . . . or she may seem nervous around you. Not all women are the same.
- She may massage or touch your back. If she's ballsy, yes.
- She tries to arrange being on the same team, group, or whatever. See if this happens consistently. If she isn't trying at all to be on the same team as you, then she probably isn't that interested.
- She has a marker or pen in her hand and for whatever reason offers to draw on you. It doesn't matter whether she's trying to make the Mona Lisa on your arm or if it's just a mad bunch of scribbles.
- She sits on your lap. Yeah, that's forward.
- She runs her fingers through your hair or beard. Ha ha ha . . . yeah, that's also forward.
- She tries to put makeup on you just for fun. Or she tries to get you in a dress. Now, sometimes this is just fun for ladies. More research needs to be done to figure out this playful nature.
- She sits with good posture. Okay, maybe just really overly intentional posture . . . to impress you. Or because she's into posture. Some people are into good posture.
- She greets you with a hug or a big smile. She's excited to see you! How you respond here is critical. If you don't show enthusiasm in these moments, she may tone it down.
- She may become tongue-tied and at a loss for words. For like say what words and I? I mean . . . Hi . . . you are how?
- She may tease you. She may poke you. She may throw snowballs at you. Also, girls don't tease as much as guys. Guys are more likely to tease.
- She may offer you random things like gum, mints, or coffee. She may just be nice and not know what to say, so starts offering you things.
- She acts particularly goofy around you. I mean, she turns into a class act goofball that no one else sees.
- She does something playful like tying your shoes together.
- She dances around you in hopes that you'll dance with her.
- You might catch her glancing your way often. She may do this sneakily or without shame. But if she is doing this with shame, you should really give her some ice cream or cheer her up, you know? Sharing with shame is no fun for anyone. ;)
- If you are sick or hurt, she tries to comfort you to the best of her abilities. Like bringing you soup, blanket, medicine, her favorite movies, puppets, nachos, sports-related things, video games, beer, or a number of things.
- She might get sad or withdrawn if you start talking to a new girl. She's mad jealous, yo.
- She challenges you to thumb or arm wrestle. Because . . . she's without any clue about what to do. Help a girl out.
You can mostly tell a woman likes you through:
What Do Hugs Mean?
- The longer a hug, the better. Each added second means she likes you more.
- A pat on the back or shoulder during a hug means "You're clinging to me! It needs to end, please."
- A good hug will feel strong. Like a handshake, weak ones are no good. Hugs are the handshake of friendships and beyond.
- Talking during a hug is a good sign. Just don't recite your favorite manifesto about capitalism. If you don't have your favorite manifesto, get to cracking . . . you only have so many more days to live.
- A hug from behind shows intimacy. Also, a lot of girls don't like that. It can be creepy, unless she knows you pretty well.
- Hands that venture during a hug . . . probably not a good idea.
- Smelling nice will make for a good hug. I mean, general hygiene is an A+ idea.
- You know you've found the right person when you actually get vibes off them during a hug. Like your skin is resonating with baby angels from on high. Ah.
- Hugs can be better than kisses. Although, you should work on both to make sure they're pleasant.
- In Japan, a hug means more than a kiss because you're using your whole stinkin' body.
- A side hug isn't necessarily a bad thing. It may have been the easiest movement to avoid awkwardness or to add additional awkwardness.
Physical Signs She Wants a Relationship
*WARNING: The amount of touching and what it means is not universal. Different cultures have different standards.
- She may hold off on physicality so you won't only think of her as a booty call. Also, she may hold back because she's worried that if she's too flirtatious, you'll run away. She may genuinely have a struggle on how much physical contact is necessary.
- Women start to hunt for hugs when they want a relationship. They'll position themselves in ways that you'll hug them goodbye, hug them hello, etc. A lot of hugs can be friendly, but a lot of women do that so you'll remember them. And give the chance for a goodnight kiss or two.
- If she constantly sits next to you, she's claiming you. Women are also territorial but in different ways. She wants the space next to you so that other competition can't get to you. And being closer to you have its benefits.
- Holding hands. It's cute, innocent, and definitely signals interest.
- She runs her fingers through your hair, pats you on the back, and other constant affirmative touches followed with encouraging words or compliments out of nowhere.
- She dresses up the way she thinks someone would be a relationship. She isn't going to dress like she would at a club, but a little more classy. She wants you to feel successful around her.
© 2014 Andrea Lawrence